River's mood had darkened.

As he watched Sabrina take Zoya away and onto the street, he couldn't just turn a blind eye. He was well aware the moment he arrived at the restaurant that Zoya was there. He didn't know how, but his wolf sensed her from outside the building. He should've walked away that minute, left this place so he'd never see her. Except, he was foolish for giving in to that bleeding desire inside him to see her. That bleeding desire poisoned all reason inside him when his eyes searched for her. No, more like, his gaze hunted for her in the crowd. And a brutal knife sliced through his gut, it was as if finding her was forbidden.

He found himself drowning and sinking further into that emptiness she left him in. He was fine being all alone. He had decided a long time ago that he would live and die alone, with no one beside him and no family or kids of his own. Then this woman walked in, Zoya Knightley who glowed with a graceful radiance, just like she had the night of their date. Her long luscious black hair curled around her and sat perfectly over her shoulder. She sat with her elegant back exposed with the strappy yellow dress she wore, it was silk. Her leg crossed over the other and a pink heel exposed from under the table. River wondered when she was going to stop wearing such dangerous heels in this icy-cold weather.

However, before he could utter a sound. Sabrina was rushing over to them and Zoya had turned her entire body away from them- from him.

"Sabrina," Gabriel said surprisingly. "Honey?"

Sabrina grabbed Gabriel's arm and River's arm too. "Outside. Everyone, now," she asserted sternly.

They ended up back on the street and River raked a hard hand through his hair because he knew what this was going to be about.

"What's going on?" Vincent asked. "I'm hungry and I get cranky when I'm hungry."

"Yeah, like a child," remarked Ryder.

Vincent glowered at him. "Don't test me," he bit back.

"Zoya's inside," Sabrina revealed. The others didn't understand, but Gabriel stiffened and River didn't hold any expression. But he had a feeling he had a pretty obvious glower on his face.

"We'll eat somewhere else," said Gabriel stiffly.

"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" Hunter asked as he crossed his bulky arms.

"I don't get it," said Ryder. He looked back at his brother and his expression turned cold. "What did you do?" At times like this, Ryder resembled River with an eerie familiarity. Both of their demeanours changed and Ryder glared at River. "Did you fuck up already?"

River bit back his curse and stayed quiet.

"Okay, now I'm officially hungry, cranky and confused," Vincent said.

"There's no hiding it, River," Gabriel said.

"Why hide it?" Sabrina sounded grim. "He rejected the bond with Zoya."

The entire group fell silent. The door behind them closed and Azura heard that too.

"That's why she looked so tired today," Azura added solemnly as her pizza was in her hand.

"Why did you reject the bond?" Ryder looked at his brother like he had two heads. The group started to fight on the street.

River saw all of their faces staring at him, but he had no answer for them. He didn't want to tell them that he was afraid of what could happen if he opened himself up and bonded to her. He couldn't break what he tried so hard to fix; his mind was already twisted up and dark.

Sabrina sighed and shook her head. "I don't think Zoya's going to want to stay here anymore," she said. "If you want to eat, you can go inside. I'm going to take Zoya out the back door."

The group muffled their chatter and tried their hardest not to fight River right here on the road, especially Ryder. However, the only one River was concerned about was Sabrina because this was the first time she hadn't looked him in the eye. She was disappointed and that hurt him more than her anger ever would.

Sabrina went inside alone leaving them all on the street.

"What did you do, River?" Ryder asked his brother.

River looked into his brother's blue eyes wondering what to tell him or everyone else.

"He was supposed to go on a date with Zoya yesterday," Gabriel answered.

"Let me guess, this man decided not to go," Vincent remarked, as he ate the pizza slice that he took from Azura.

Azura glared at River. "Is that true?" she asked.

"There's no need to ask, his face is saying it all," said Hunter.

All of them went silent again.

Ryder looked at his brother, his eyes not studying him because he knew his twin and what was going on inside that head.

"He thinks that he is expendable," Ryder said coldly. He let a small laugh but it was a bitter one that pricked River. "That he should be alone in order to make the hard choices."

"What?" Azura and Hunter said together. All of them looked at River.

"Isn't it true?" River stated more than asked. "That's been my duty since the start."

"That's a very low thought that you'd think we'd let you die over us," Hunter said.

"He's right. I wouldn't let anything touch any of you or your mates," Azura added after. She gave River a hard stare before she walked inside leaving them.

River ran a hand through his hair. "This isn't about you guys," he said. "I made a choice-"

"And you chose us instead of your mate-" Vincent intervened. "How do you think that makes us feel?" He shook his head and went inside, Hunter followed his brother dejectedly too. Ryder rushed off to the other side of the building, probably to see Zoya.

Gabriel stood there watching everything, it was like he wanted everyone to find out. "This became about all of us the moment you didn't trust your pack to have your back," he said softly before leaving inside.

River's gut sank. This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want to hurt anyone. Had he doubted their strength like Gabriel said? He didn't think low of his pack because he was well aware of their strengths. However, he admitted that overlooked the one principal this pack always followed. The Centauri pack was stronger together and always fought any battle together.

River knew he made a mistake by thinking like that about his pack. But first, he had to go to Zoya, he'd apologize to everyone later.

River rushed to the back of the building where the exit door was and he immediately saw Zoya standing with Azura and Sabrina, and Ryder was holding her hand. River froze in his tracks when he saw her, his heart squeezed in his chest and he swore his breath stopped too. He sensed every part of her even from this great distance. The way she stood elegantly with his brother, her thin coat over her dress did nothing to protect her from this cold. River felt his feet move on his own as he closed the space and locked eyes with her.

He told everyone to go inside, even though it was clear they didn't want to leave Zoya alone. It dawned on him how fast she had become a part of their pack. Everyone cared for her now and she was practically a Centauri wolf. What was River thinking? What would he do now that he lost her?

She avoided his eyes, it was obvious and he didn't blame her. He deserved this and instead of being relieved that she didn't want him, it was like someone was twisting a knife in his heart.

He asked her if she was cold, but she lied to him. River ignored her lies and put his coat on her shoulders, wrapping the heavy wool around her and bringing her a little bit closer to him. Standing this close to her, he could see her tired eyes that brightened the sea-blue inside them. She was crying and upset because of what he did last night.

Suddenly, her weary eyes grew fiery. She pushed his coat back at him and snapped; "Thanks, but I'm fine-" and walked off in a hurry.

He didn't know how to stop her. "Where do you think you're going?" he said desperately, hoping she'd stay. "You're car's not even here yet."

"I'll walk," she bit back at him and quickened her pace.

"It's too far," he told her.

She told him to go away and this time he didn't.

"You'll fall in those shoes again," he pulled that card, it was true though.

"Why do you care?" she snapped at him.

River already knew before she realized her foot caught on the ledge of the road. He had her in his arms before anything could happen. She closed her eyes though, like she didn't think he'd save her. She stood stiffly in his arms, but he captivated the sensation of her being with him. This was what he shut down and locked away. He stopped his heart from feeling anything for her, but it didn't work. His body already accepted her as his, yet him and his wolf were afraid to hurt her.

We already have, his wolf said.

I know, he told his wolf. We missed our chance to be with her. To have someone by our side forever.

His heart was ripping open and everything he wished for was standing right in front of him; in his arms. "You're driving me crazy," he said softly.

She finally opened her hypnotic blue eyes. "That goes both ways," she remarked. "Let go."

"No," he asserted firmly. "Not until your car comes."

"I don't understand you," she said. "When I stayed close to you, then you didn't want me, but now that I want to leave, you're not letting me. I just don't get it."

"I'm just worried-" was the best he could come up with. Shoot him, he never claimed to be romantic nor the best at corny, sappy lines.

"Why?" she snapped harshly. "You don't get to do that."

Ice filled his core and all the veins that pumped blood to his body. She was right, he thought. He had lost all right to do anything for her when he left her standing alone in that restaurant. River dropped his arms and took a step back because he failed and he was sorry. However, it was too late to apologize.

"No, you don't get to walk away. Not this time. Why is it bothering you what I do, River? If I get cold or not. If I get in my car or not. None of this concerns you after you didn't show last night."

"You're right," he replied grimly. "But Zoya, you know why I couldn't come to you. I've been clear about this from the start. It's not safe with the life I lead but-"

"Yet, here I am, still standing here wanting to be with you-" she said.

"It's not enough," he told her that but he didn't mean it that way and before he could correct himself, Zoya faced him, her eyes flaming with strength and anger.

"No one is guaranteed a long life, River. But I swallowed my fears and chose to follow my heart and be with you. You thought we weren't enough to handle what comes our way. That hurt more than your rejection."

A car arrived and Zoya left without looking back.

River stood alone on the street with her words ringing in his ear. It seemed that River misjudged everyone around him. He knew his responsibilities as a pack wolf and the duties that followed. However, it seemed that he didn't trust in the people around him to help him.

Someone walked out the exit door then, it was Ryder.

"She left because of you," he said grimly.

He gritted his molars together. "I know," River didn't know if he used his voice or not, he couldn't hear himself.

"So, after you rejected her, you're mad?" Ryder inquired.

"I'm not mad," he said, "I'm just-"

Ryder raised a brow. "Sad, lonely, stupid- I can keep going," he remarked. "You also left her unguarded, so she's wide open for any man. Nothing stops them from making her theirs and I'm sure she would be with them too."

A sick sensation twisted River's gut. "I know what you're doing," he bit out.

"Is it working?" asked Ryder.

"Fuck you," his tone was carnally pissed.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then," Ryder said evenly.

"Do I have the right to do anything?" he asked his brother.

"Who else has the right then?" Gabriel remarked as he stepped out of the door too.

"Was everyone listening behind that door?" River mumbled.

Gabriel's brow furrowed and his amber eyes were stern as he crossed his arms. "As her mate, you have the right to go to her. Sabrina told me not to tell you, but I want you to fix this before it gets too late. Zoya's leaving for Greece again."

River's heart fell.

Gabriel took Ryder inside leaving River out on the street alone. It wasn't a while after they had gone, that River returned to the car he arrived in and took a seat there. He needed some quiet time to think about everything that just happened. That's what he did. He thought things through and made sure that the best possible plan was implemented. Any mission they went on or even the simple day-to-day routine and going to work with Gabriel. River made sure that the schedule was thorough and precise. Then how come his life right now was a complete mess? Still, this shouldn't bother him. He wanted Zoya to leave... so then why did the very sight of her letting him go and getting into that car strangle the breath out of his very lungs?

Out of the deep shadows of River's mind, his wolf appeared. What did we do wrong? he asked him.

We let her go, said River.

We let her go thinking she'd be happier without us, his wolf replied.

That didn't happen, River remarked cynically.

Are you happy? his wolf asked.

I'm as merry as always, River retorted cynically.

You can't lie to me, his wolf growled. Don't even try and waste my time.

River knew that already. What should we do? he asked his wolf.

What we do best, said his wolf. We make the hard choice.

River went quiet. The hard choice for us or for the pack?

What's the difference? his wolf retorted.

What's with the change of heart? he asked his wolf. You were against this just as much as me.

Silence fell between them.

She ignored me, his wolf said solemnly then. Her beautiful eyes didn't seek me out this time. She didn't look for me in this darkness.

River's mind flooded with the memories he spent with Zoya. And his wolf was right, she didn't reach out to them this time. She didn't try to win him over or charm him with her wit and playfulness. She was the one that ignored all his protests and tried to make their bond work, she even faced his wolf without hesitation. He was just too stubborn to recognize her efforts.

The rest of the pack members walked out of the restaurant finally. All of them got in the cars and were ready to go home. Gabriel came and sat beside River and Vincent behind them. Hunter joined his mate and sister to take them back. Ryder was with Sabrina and they were taking Ashley, Rosalie and the two pups home. Evangeline, Victor and Dimitri went in their own car.

Azura was last to arrive and instead of getting in the car with them, she opened his car's door. "I'm driving," she said sternly.

River didn't put up a fight. He got out of the car and went to sit in the back, like he was a five-year-old or something. Vincent was chuckling at them and River glowered at Azura the whole ride home. She purposely drove fast just to piss him off more too.

When they arrived at pack territory, River left the group. He could sense everyone looking at him, following him with their curious gaze. But he ignored it and went back to his house and changed out of his suit. He grabbed loose pants and shrug them on, he grabbed the matching black sweater and pulled it over without zipping it up.

He came back down the stairs, when his eyes caught the massive arrangement of roses on his kitchen counter. Zoya had given him these flowers the day they had gone to the race track. As he neared the flowers, he was surrounded by their soft and rich fragrance. He grabbed a glass from the shelf and poured water from the tap for the flowers. He tilted the cup and let the water soak the bottom of the green stems. Instantly, the aroma grew and his mood intensified like dark clouds blacking out his mind.

River put the glass in the sink. He stripped off his sweater and tossed it on the table by the door before he walked out. He didn't hesitate or look back before he broke out into a run through the woods. This would be the only thing to calm him and clear his head. He needed to exhaust himself to the point that he couldn't feel anything.

His trained legs took him down the familiar paths of this territory, his rapid breath breaking the silence with the distant sounds of birds chirping. River found solace while his body got into gear as he went deeper down the memorable path. The sound of leaves crunching under his shoes pulled him out of his own head. He felt his sweat send him shivers down his body, which wasn't strange since no one in their right mind would be running outside half-naked in winter. However, it was different for wolf shifters. They could handle the cold better than humans, and River was trained to endure any weather in his human form.

River noticed that the birds nearby had become quiet, and as he ventured further through the forest everything become so still. Feeling his hands turn cold he stopped in his tracks unsure of the sudden change in the air he was so familiar with. The trees whispered as the wind lifted his dark hair drying his sweat as his laboured breath and heartbeat were uncontrollable.

As he slowly climbed up and arrived at the edge of the cliff, overlooking the pack territory, the air was crisp and strong. He let the air clear the ache behind his eyes and the strain from his legs telling him that they were sore. River ignored the pain and felt the raw desire from his wolf urging him to shift.

River did not oblige his wolf because he couldn't be trusted right now. River didn't know how much control he had over the beast to shift back, it was likely that his wolf would want to stay for a couple of days and lose himself in these woods.

River's eyes tracked the Centauri manor and he saw no one outside. He looked away and climbed down the cliff, only to feel the ache easing in his body which was a sign to go for another round. Without any more weight on his shoulders, he ran endlessly in the territory he grew up in. These woods were his home.