《Topping the Alpha》Chapter 12: Please Forgive Me
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I feel sick to my stomach.
I have been sick after I "regained my consciousness". I spent a few minutes in the bathroom after Elliot was removed from the gym. Just not for the same reason as the rest of the team.🤭
And while they relieved themselves from Elliot's heat, I was literally being sick.
Though, to be fair, I needed a release too. But I was too ill to even think about it.
Ironically, I didn't vomit because I kissed a guy - though that doesn't help matters much - but an omega? Ewl.
Afterwards, I took my shower and gone to the cafeteria for lunch. But Simon was nowhere to be found. In fact, I didn't see him since he screamed at me and his boyfriend making out.
This is bad.
This is really bad.
It never once occurred me that Simon could betray me. Honestly, he's just always been there for me no questions asked.
But what I could never have anticipated is that I would be the one to betray him. Specially with a guy. I've never seen that coming.
"Where's Si?" - Ash asked me as soon as she saw me in the cafeteria. We went to get some food while I looked at her in deep remorse.
"Something happened while we're training today." - I started, making her frown in worry.
"What? Is he okay?" - She asked me in a concerned tone. She seemed worried and puzzled as to why I look so horrified.
"No." - I replied and the tears started flowing from me. I couldn't help it.
Ash hugged me and inquired what's going on. She looked at me deeply worried.
Have you ever tried to explain to your girlfriend how you're caught making out with another guy?
Yeah... me neither. But I've seen this film before. I'm not so square that I don't understand sexuality. I know it's a spectrum and not always we're simply straight or gay. Sometimes we're something in between, like Simon. And I'm fine with it. I'm not in the closet or anything like that.
Honest to Goddess, it's not even about him being a guy. I mean, it's not the worst part. Nor him being an omega is, though it comes really close.
But the worst part is actually this gut wrenching feeling I have that I've just betrayed my best friend. That's absolutely the worst.
After we're sat at our table and I explained to Ash everything, she stared at me silently for a minute.
"I didn't do it on purpose, I swear!" - I reiterated, still tearing up. I felt her judging stare at me, though that could be my own guilt talking.
"I know, Felix. I know you. Even if you were interested in guys, you would never do that to Simon." - She spoke, looking at me worriedly.
She nailed it in the head. I wouldn't. Ever.
That made me cry harder. I could barely eat, but I was too hungry not to. Specially after earlier in the bathroom.
She hugged me from her seat. I knew that she being a werewolf too and understanding how heat works she'd forgive me eventually.
But she didn't see me kissing Elliott like Simon did. He was wrecked last time I saw him. His face was so devastated I thought he'd collapse at the gym.
"He'll get over it. You'll see." - Ash consoled me in an empathetic tone.
I tried to recollect myself the best I could and carry on. By the time I finished brushing my teeth, the school was buzzing about me and Elliot together.
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I walked the corridors towards class and I got stares from students all around. I focused on the task at hand before I lose it. Still, Simon is nowhere to be found.
After the final bell, I dropped my annoying siblings - who also poked fun at me kissing an omega - and rushed to Simon's house.
I knew he flaked on school. And I needed to talk to him, beg his forgiveness.
"Go away!" - He told me from the other side of the closed door he refused to open. He knew it was me ringing his door bell as soon as he got close enough because he could scent me.
"We need to talk about this." - I insisted, shouting from outside.
"I don't wanna talk about you making out with my boyfriend!" - He barked at me, furiously.
"It's fine. Punch me then. Would that make you feel better?" - I offered in a playful tone.
He laughed at this.
"It would actually, but it wouldn't change anything. You still kissed the guy that I'm in love with." - He replied, giving me pause.
I gasped at this revelation. It's way worse than I thought.
"You didn't tell me you're in love with him." - I spoke, legitimately gobsmacked.
It's worth noting that the last time Simon was in love with someone, he was 13 or 14 years old and she broke his heart. After that, he vowed to never let his heart be broken again - with any unmated relationship - and has been playing the (school) field ever since. Very successfully, I might add.
Which means that this betrayal on my part is much worse than I anticipated. Fuck!
"Would that make any difference? Would you still have kissed my boyfriend?" - He pondered, almost if daring me.
"I'm sorry. I'm mortified. I'm so sorry. You know I'd die before I betray you." - I humbled myself.
There was a brief silence that fell. An uncomfortable awkwardness that bothered me more than if he's cursing me. For me it felt like forever.
After a while, Simon opened the door to his house.
"I accept your apology. Now, please leave." - He told me with a deeply saddened voice.
I could tell he's been crying. A lot. He looked wrecked. It's heartbreaking to witness. And to think it's my fault it made me feel the worst.
"I know I should have resisted his heat. I wish to Goddess that I could have. I swear. You have to know this. It was nothing like I've ever felt before in my life. I've never felt such magnetizing power drawing me to someone before." - I explained to him, feeling devastated.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Knowing you're drawn to the one I love?" - He smirked, though his tone is deeply hurt.
"No, it's supposed to explain to you what happened to me and please know he's the last person on Earth I would kiss." - I replied in a sincere tone.
There's nothing for me to do but to bare my soul to him.
"I believe you, Felix. You can leave now. It's too painful for me to see you." - He said with such a distraught look on his face that gutted me.
"I will. It just kills me that I can't be there for you now. Also, if I may, please don't be too hard on Elliott. He couldn't refuse my advance, no matter how much he wanted to." - I say my peace.
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"I know, Felix. I'm not mad at him. He didn't stand a chance. His power of consent was taken away from him by the heat." - He glared daggers at me.
I could see there's nothing I could say that it'd make things better, so I left. I have a feeling this would take a lot to heal, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I can't lose my best friend over this. Not at all.
Later that evening, I was quietly eating dinner with my family. I had told my mom and dad earlier what happened, but even if I hadn't I'm sure my blabbermouth siblings would've. They're enjoying my misery as if it was a spectacle.
"I'm sorry, son. I know how much Simon means to you. But he'll get over it eventually." - Mom told me with an empathetic tone as she took a bite of her roast. The food here is always delicious as we employ an amazing chef.
"Thanks mom. I just wish I could've resisted his heat. I felt like I was drugged." - I replied to her in a distraught tone.
Jess giggles at this. I glared daggers at her.
"That's accurate. Only a drug would lead you to kiss an omega." - She snickered. Zach laughed at this. But dad glared at the both of them. This is no laughing matter.
"Well, for once you're not wrong, little sister." - I smirked at her.
"How was it?" - Zach asked me, curiously. I frowned at his question.
"I can't replied now. We're eating, stupid!" - I glared at him, making my family grimace.
"Do you think you're gonna be expelled?" - Jess asked, making the rest of us gasp in surprise.
"What? Why?" - I yelled in utter shock.
"Didn't you hear the principal telling everyone that unconsented advances against omegas are now punishable by expulsion?" - She asked me and I gagged at the thought.
"Oh my Goddess! You're right! I didn't even think about that!" - I replied, shaking in fear.
"Son, you're not getting expelled. I will talk to the principal if I have to." - Dad reassured me.
"Dad, no. If you interfere it's gonna look like there's a double standard for the Alpha family. How is that gonna sound? No, I can't have you tarnishing your reputation for me." - I rebuked, feeling broken up about it.
"Felix, you're my son. I'm not gonna let you get expelled for something it wasn't your fault." - Dad insisted in a serious tone.
"I know, dad. And I love you for it. But I can't let you. It sends the wrong message. Every werewolf in history who ever abused an omega in heat has done so with the excuse that it wasn't his fault. I can't be one of them. I can't stand this excuse even though I've experienced it myself." - I explained, feeling adamant about taking accountability for my actions.
However, if I do get expelled from school it'd crush me. Forget about a high school diploma - which I do need - all my friends and girlfriend go there. It'd disrupt my entire life forever.
"I admire that, son. I really do. But as you just said it, you've experienced yourself so you know it's not an excuse. It's a scientific fact. Heat clouds your judgement the same way a drug would." - Dad argued. He looks concerned for me. Even the brats are as well.
"You're right, dad. But please, let us see how this plays out. Maybe I can weather a suspension since we're interrupted. Who knows? If you say anything now it would look bad for us." - I countered in a pleading tone.
He agreed to wait for now. But he wasn't particularly convinced. Still, I'd gladly take a suspension or whatever as long as I don't get expelled from school. Anything is better than that.
I went to sleep with a guilty conscience and had a nightmare that Simon got mated to Ashley.
I understand I'd deserve this now. But please Goddess, forgive me. I'd sacrifice anything for this to never come true, gladly.
When I got to school, Ashley was alone waiting for me. I had a feeling Simon wouldn't be with her like he always is. But his absence hurts me badly.
I kissed her good morning.
"How is he?" - I asked her immediately after we parted lips.
"Bad. He's taking this as badly as possible. I've told him I forgave you, but it's not the same to him as it is to me, which I get it. I don't have any relationship with Elliott." - She replied with an empathetic tone.
Ash looks distraught, but not nearly as I do. I've never distanced myself from Simon. Sure, we had disagreements before, but it's never as serious as this.
"I know. I get it too. I just hope he can forgive me soon. If not, I don't know how to move on from this. I need my Beta." - I admitted, painfully. Ash kissed me again.
Even though I sit next to Simon in class, I didn't try to talk to him again apart from saying 'good morning'. I figured he needed space. Though it doesn't help that all his classes are with me except for Spanish, which he only takes for an easy A.
When it came to wrestling practice, the boys kept looking at me weirdly. Actually, the entire school has looked at me funny today.
I get it people. I kissed an omega. Move on!
But nothing is worse than not talking to Simon.
"Are you okay, Alpha?" - Andersen asked me inside the locker room, after we had just finished practice.
"Not now, but I'll get there eventually." - I replied honestly in a defeated tone.
"Don't feel bad. That could've happened to anyone. Lockwood's heat affected us badly." - He spoke, trying to comfort me.
"I know. I heard you relieving yourself inside the stall." - I snickered, making all the boys laugh except for Simon.
"Hey, I'm just glad coach was there to pull him away. It would've been awkward if you got expelled from your own pack." - He snickered. But before anyone could laugh, Simon growled loudly with glowing eyes at him.
Andersen and the rest of the boys - including me - gasped. And we looked down in embarrassment. This is not the time to make jokes.
"I'm sorry, Beta. I didn't mean anything by it. I know he's with you. I'm sorry it happened at all." - He apologized to Simon looking remorseful.
"It's fine, Marcus. I'm not blaming you. I know it's a shit situation for everyone. But at least it was handled properly. I guess it could be worse. At least he was dressed, not like poor Brandon." - Simon argued, referencing the omega who Elliot rescued when he got struck by heat in the middle of the shower with the rest of the male students of our grade.
"Yeah, that must've been awful." - I mumbled.
"But I think you owe Lockwood a singlet, Alpha." - Andersen smirked at me.
Simon glared at us.
"Don't remind me, please. I think I'll venmo him for the amount. I'm ashamed enough as it is. And I still don't know if the principal is gonna pursue my expulsion." - I admitted, causing all the boys to gasp in shock.
"What? Why?" - Simon asked. Speaking to me for the first time since yesterday.
"Because you can't touch an omega in heat. Don't you remember his announcement?" - I spoke loudly and baffled.
"Oh my Goddess! That's right." - He gasped in realization. All the boys did. We went to the shower area.
"For what it's worth, no one wants you to be expelled, Alpha." - Andersen told me and I smiled weakly at him.
"Thanks. But it's not about you or me. It all depends on the omega now. And what he'll want to do." - I replied in a sorrowed tone.
Simon had lunch at our table, but he kept quiet the entire time. And no one bothered him as we all get he needs time to process.
Before the final class of the day was over, there's an announcement via the speaker system:
"Attention students. I know everyone is talking about what happened yesterday during wrestling practice. I've made myself pretty clear what would happen if anyone took advantage of an omega in heat." - Principal Andrews started, causing a chill to run my spine in dreadful fear.
The entire class stared at me all at once.
"I have spoken to the victim and he doesn't wish to pursue charges against Mr. Hollingsworth. So, he is to serve detention for one month in lieu of expulsion." - He continued and I exhaled the biggest sigh of relief.
"That being said, the school reiterates its effort of making this a safe space for everyone and if you see or scent an omega in heat, you must notify a teacher immediately and distance yourself from them. Good day." - He concluded.
My Goddess, that's a close call.
Ash hugged and kissed me. Simon smiled weakly at me.
"I'm glad you're not expelled. Despite everything, I don't think you deserve that." - He told me with a soft tone.
"Thank you, my friend. It means the world coming from you." - I replied with a content grin.
We walked out of school in silence, but I was feeling so relieved. Honestly, I have a lot of atoning to do. To Simon, to Elliot, to Ash. But at least, I'll be able to do it here, studying at my school for the past 4 years. And yes, I know I a owe a lot to the omega. He could've fucked me over if he wanted. And who'd blame him?
I only hope my relationship with Simon can survive this. Because I don't know what I'd do without him in my life.
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