I knew I should have just left after the concert and gone home; it would've been much easier than the predicament I found myself in, in the bathroom of a dimly lit Chinese restaurant.

"Hmm, take this off." Sara hummed as she picked at my mesh top, and I frowned.

"Why?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at her as he sighed in frustration.

Sara was currently "helping" me get ready for a party no one knew the details of, or if they did, they didn't want to tell Haydn, or me. We kept getting vague answers to our valid questions.

Where is the party? In a building.

Whose party, is it? A guy from school.

What party was it? A fun one.

"Cause you look like a nun, they wouldn't let you in." She laughed and lifted my top to expose my black spider web bra and her face fell a little. "I guess this will do. Take off your shirt." She demanded as she took a step back and I crossed my arms over my chest.

I knew Sara didn't want me there, she didn't even try and hide it, especially since Mae and Haydn were getting ready in a different bathroom and couldn't exactly come to my rescue. It's okay though because I did what anyone else would've in my shoes- I channeled Blanca's energy.

"So how long have you been Haydn's friend?" I smirked, refusing to do what she told me to and she shook her head, her blonde hair swaying gently.

"Haydn and I have never been friend's sweetheart." She smiled and my eyebrow shot up. "But we meet up, often."

Sara was bluffing, I knew because Haydn told me she'd changed, and I believed her.

"That's funny." I smiled smugly as I doubled checked that my makeup was still in place before I turned to her. "Because she's never mentioned you," I shrugged before walking out with my jacket in my hands and straight to where the others were sitting. I was not going to let some strange white girl try and humiliate me to try and get to Haydn.

Mae and Haydn were already at the table by the time I came out, and, unlike me, Haydn had taken the advice to change her outfit and was now sitting in a black spaghetti strap crop top. Her hair, which was once pulled into a ponytail, was left down as she leaned against the back of her chair and while her friends talked and laughed, she looked to be in her own world, quietly drumming her fingers on the table as she bit her thumbnail- oh no, she was feeling anxious.

However, when Haydn saw me, she seemed to sigh in relief, and I gave her a small smile that didn't reach my eyes. How could it, when Sara slammed into my shoulder as she walked past and went to go sit opposite Haydn. All I could do was take a deep breath before I walked over and sat down next to Haydn, who hadn't taken her eyes off me since she saw me- despite the hard efforts of Sara who seemed to grow more frustrated by Haydn's lack of attention. A blush crept onto my cheeks after I sat down because Haydn turned to me and placed a cool hand on my knee, igniting sparks in my veins.

"We don't have to go to this party." She promised me. "We could just go back home?" She suggested and I shook my head.

"Haydn, I think this could be fun." I forced a smile; I didn't want all her friends hate me for not going. "Besides your friends are really excited to see you, don't worry about me," I reassured her, and she bit her lip gently as she sighed.

"I can't make you change your mind?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Nope." I shrugged, promising myself that going to be a party would be a lot better than Haydn's friends being mad at me.

"Okay, on one condition though- this can't count as our first date." She negotiated, shock overcoming me before she explained. "It's just that I had something different imagined on our first date."

"First date huh?" I grinned as she matched my smile, and I don't know if it was the alcohol on the table or a spontaneous decision, but Haydn leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek.

Her lips were softer than I thought, and I couldn't help the blush on my cheeks as I held my breath. I didn't expect her to do that, especially in a restaurant in front of her friends but I was glad she did.

"Okay lover girls, it's time to go." Mae grinned at us and when I looked up, I noticed that everyone else was getting up to go, having already paid for what they had. "The Lyft is waiting outside." She grinned and Haydn took my jacket before putting it in her backpack.

We all walked out together and got into the Lyft XL that was waiting outside and while everyone else was arguing over what music to play I texted the girls to fill them in on how it was going. I also shared my location just in case something happened, and it wasn't long before we were pulling to a stop outside a very large, very expensive looking building.

It took me a while to get out of the car and since I was the last one to exit, I was confused when I saw Haydn visibly upset as Sara stood talking to her, reassuringly rubbing her arm. I went to stand next to Adeya and Jaden while I waited, Mae, having disappeared from sight as we talked about how good the Kali Uchis concert was. Adeya and Jaden were indigenous twins from Australia and had dark brown skin, light green eyes and beautiful dark brown curly hair- their dads adopted them when they were babies and they have lived in the city ever since.

"Okay guys, we can go up," Mae called out, grinning from the glass door as she interrupted the discussion of which song Kali Uchis was our favorite.

We walked past the doorman and into the building, our shoes squeaking against the white marble floors, reminding me that high school students did not belong there. As we walked, I felt someone walk up next to me and by the way, their hand found mine I knew it was Haydn, but judging by the way she bit her thumbnail I knew something wasn't right.

"You, okay?" I whispered as we walked into the glass elevator, and she turned to me and nodded but I didn't believe her.

The sounds of classical music softly filled the elevator as we rode up to what I was guessing was the penthouse floor, since the only button Mae pressed was the highest floor. I took a deep breath as the elevator dinged and doors opened, and I didn't miss the way Haydn's hand tightened around mine as we walked towards a set of dark brown doors. Sara grinned as she stepped forward and pushed one of the doors open.

A fog of weed and cigarette smoke hit us first as we step inside, followed by a wave of heat from the bodies, all 100 of them of different aesthetically pleasing shapes and sizes. With bright hues of the light blue and lavender lighting everyone in the room looked like the influential, model type and the further we walked into the penthouse the more people turned to us, a lot of them paying a lot of attention to Haydn.

"You seem to be popular." I joked and she shook her head disappointedly while Mae butt in.

"Yeah, everyone has been wondering where Haydn has been for the past year, she used to be quite the regular at our parties." Mae teased and Haydn shot her a look that shut her up immediately before led me into the kitchen, keeping a protective arm around me as we walked.

People tried to stop and talk to her, but she sidestepped them, choosing not to engage with anyone as we walked into the kitchen. She let go of my hand and grabbed two clean solo cups and a bottle of expensive vodka that had been left on the kitchen counter before directing me towards the empty counter next to the fridge. Haydn patted the white granite countertop with a wink, and I rolled my eyes playfully before I pushed myself up, immediately becoming a whole head taller than her and she smirked at me.

"It seems your friends have really missed you," I smiled over the music before. "It seems like everyone has missed you actually." I joked and judging from her annoyed reaction I wished I never said anything. "Sorry, I shouldn't-"

"No, it's okay- it's not you." She promised as she opened the fridge and grabbed some ice and a bottle of cranberry juice. "I just didn't see our night going like this, but we can leave if you want to." She said, whispering the last part and I shook my head.

"What about your friends?" I asked as she poured our drinks in the solo cups and she seemed to think about it before she answered.

"It doesn't matter, they were my friends from a different time in my life and I've changed since then, they wouldn't even notice I'm gone." She shrugged as she passed me my drink and I took a small sip, the cool sensation numbing the burn of the liquor as it went down my throat. "Come on, I want to show you something." She said against the shell of my ear as she held out her hand and I hopped off the table before intertwining our fingers together.

Haydn led me through the different groups of people, to the other side of the penthouse and after dodging a few people asking questions about where she's been for the past year, she opened a glass door and led me to a large balcony overlooking the city. I barely paid attention to the people standing around as I took in the view before me, the multicolored lights and the incredibly tall buildings didn't fail to take my breath away.

"Wow," I whispered as I leaned against the glass railing and took in the view around me. "It's beautiful."

"I know, it was one of the main reasons why even I used to come here with my friends." She said and I wondered why she wasn't as close to them anymore, I couldn't imagine not being friends with Blanca, Logan, and Roxanne- I'd probably die without them. "What are you thinking about?" She asked, turning my attention back to her and I nervously bit my lip as a thought appeared in my head.

"You keep saying you've changed, but what does that mean exactly?" I asked only meeting her eyes at the last second and she smiled sadly as she gently played with my fingers before pulling me to sit down on the grey patio furniture.

"This used to be my scene a while ago." She started. "I used to be one of the girls who partied a lot. I got into fights, I slept around, and I did a lot of drugs, I wasn't addicted but I was getting there." She admitted. "I didn't really care about much, but I was so desperate to feel something, no matter what the cost- I didn't even care that my life was hanging by a thread." She murmured, keeping her eyes focused on the buildings in the distance. "My friends, the ones inside, they didn't really care either, they've watched me get so fucked up I became unresponsive, and they still refused to leave the party. It was one of the scariest moments of my life Cristina- I thought I was going to die. But I was still breathing so they said I'd be fine." She scoffed, shaking her head. "It was a close call that night, but I got lucky, not many people do." She murmured, her tone much sadder and I drowned out everything else to focus on the beautiful, scarred girl who was trusting me with such an important piece of her story.

"Then one night we went to a house party." She sighed heavily, the grip on her cup tightening. "We didn't even know whose house it was, but we didn't care, a party was a party. My best friend at the time, Luna, took a pill from some guy she met there, and we thought it would be okay because we'd all done stupid shit like that, but then she started having a bad reaction to it." She struggled to get out before she took a deep breath and I placed my hand on her knee for reassurance- I wanted her to know that I was there, that I was listening.

Haydn looked at my hand on her knee for a few seconds before she took it in hers, turning to me with gold eyes full of a deep sadness I wish I could take away.

"Luna started having seizures and convulsions," She explained sadly to me. "We tried taking her to the hospital but the only people who came with me were Jamal and Bones and none of us knew what she took. They did all they could, but it was too late, they couldn't help her, and she died." She said shakily and all I wanted to do was take her into my arms. "She ended up overdosing in my arms and I was so high I only fully realized what happened when I came down. She was one of my closest friends and I failed her. I didn't want that to happen to anyone else, so I changed, I got off the hard stuff and stayed that way and my friends who didn't like it kinda stepped out of my life and I made new ones." She shrugged, sounding a little choked up.

"Haydn, I am so sorry," I whispered, and she shook her head as she smiled.

"Don't be." She replied with a pained smile. "I've been going to therapy, dealing with my shit. It sucks but I've made my peace with it." She sighed before her smile turned sorry and hopeful. "I hope I didn't scare you away?" She asked as I shook my head, her words

"Never," I promised. "Quite the opposite actually, thank you for trusting me," I added softly with a smile.

I was going to say something else, tell her I was there for her if she needed anything, that I was proud of what she had accomplished but before I could even open my mouth Mae and Sara interrupted us, completely ignoring me yet again.

"Haydn! You have to come to dance with us!" Sara grinned, slurring her words slightly as she leaned forward, her soft blonde hair partially covering her face. "Pretty please, we love this song, this is our song!" She cheered excitedly as she grabbed Haydn hand and pulled her up from the chair.

"No Sara, I'm not-" Haydn started but she was cut off.

"Come on, this is the first time we've seen you in months and we always danced to this song. Come on, do it for Luna," Mae begged as she wrapped her arms around her waist, almost making Haydn fall with her lack of balance and low blow. "Pwetty pwease, I'll leave you alone and never ask you again." She grinned and Haydn groaned before shooting me an apologetic look and I smiled in understanding, they were using Luna against her so she couldn't say no.

"Okay fine, but one song only," Haydn emphasized reluctantly, turning to me as they cheered. "I'll be right back Cristina." She promised, shivers dancing up my spine before they pulled her away.

Deciding against sitting alone on the balcony outside, I walked back in as I finished off what was left of my drink, and it wasn't long before I found myself dancing with a handsome stranger, who obviously didn't bat for my team. I kept seeing flashes of Haydn over his shoulder and I was aware of how her gaze stayed on me as we danced, making me feel special and protected. However, when I saw Mae walk off the dance floor as the song came to an end, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks and turned my blood to ice.

As if in slow motion, I watched as Sara's eyes narrow at me before she stepped in front of Haydn, blocking me from her view as she lifted her hand to the back of Haydn's head, pulling her closer in what I could only imagine being a kiss. The awkward angle and back of Sara's head left me to imagine the worst but when I saw Haydn's hands go to Sara's waist, I felt my temporary bubble implode in confirmation as my worst thought manifested in my eye line- Haydn had just kissed someone else right in front of me.

Suddenly everything crashed on top of me as my eyes welled up and my stomach rolled. It was all too overwhelming and by my heart pounding against my ribcage and the blood rushing through my ears I knew I had to leave before I spiraled into a full-blown anxiety attack

Spinning on my heel I stormed out of the claustrophobic penthouse, pushing through the sea of people before anyone could see the tears fall from my eyes. I didn't care about my stuff with Haydn or the fact that I didn't know where I was, all I wanted to do was get as far away from her as possible. I thought we shared a moment together, I thought she liked me, but no, 10 minutes with a tall blonde and she'd reverted back into her reputation.

How fucking stupid was I for thinking I would be different.