《Sh*t My Parents Say》025 || Mom
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Mom has bad eyesight. She legally cannot drive without her contacts or glasses.
So, one day when she took off her glasses just to clean the lenses, before she put them back on, I held up two fingers and said, "How many fingers am I holding up, Mom? Four?"
She looked at me and smirked, holding up her middle finger and said, "How many am I holding up?"
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- In Serial110 Chapters
Polyrhythm Time -- A Bard's Tail
Have you ever met someone who loves what they do so much that they'll skip sleep, food, love and safety to pursue it? What happens if that kind of person encounters a different dimension, yet holds on to their love of music, and specifically of rock drumming.When the world ended at the end of 2057, Kevin Snackenbridge slept through it. He'd been drumming all night. tl;dr-- System eats world -- Monsters and magic ---- LitRpg -- Practice, not levels and stats ---- MC Bard -- support class -- low power ---- MC chooses music over survival skills --tl;dr Kevin trips into the Internal Strength Dimension where Thaumaturgy is king. With the help of a talking plant and several vicious monkeys he learns that the rule is "Change or die." Kevin changes, but remains firmly a drummer/Bard in this high fantasy setting. This is Kevin's adventure, and that of the friends he meets. Kevin has the soul of a real musician. He loves music, specifically rhythm and drumming, and would give his left nut if it would help him drum better. He's a rock drummer, and his language is that of a rock drummer: slanged, duded, and frequently laced with profanity. He focuses on music, and makes decisions that even the author doesn't approve of. However, that means all his decisions are Kevin's decisions, not those of a system-optimizing power-gamer. There's points (All of Arc 2) where he wanders aimlessly. Goals seem foreign to him at points. What would you do if you were a musician, and the world fell apart and you no longer had an audience or band-mates. You'd be kinda lost. Kevin is. Arc 2 is a lot of Kevin not knowing what to do, going with the flow, and not being articulate enough to know that he doesn't know what to do. 1. Chapters start short near 500 words, and grow to 12-1500 by ch.100 2. Chapters daily
8 884 - In Serial60 Chapters
The story of how a Cultivation Universe was Conquered by an Interstellar Weapons Platform
What do you get when you cross a world of Magic, Cultivation and Legends with one of Science, Logic and Overwhelming Firepower?\o\ Chaos! /o/Alpha is a sapient AI who's job (and Passion) is the exploration, exploitation and eventual colonization of new worlds for the Federation, a Galaxy spanning empire of Science and Technology. When an unexpected accident deposits this literal War Machine on a planet full of Cultivators and Wizards, chaos and insanity ensues. What Alpha and those around him don't know, however, is that he will soon become the focal point of a millennias long plot that holds not only the fate of the world in its balance, but possibly the entire Galaxy.Ancient Enemies awaken as the Powerhouses of the world converge with Alpha at the center. Get ready, its going to be a wild ride. ------------------------------------------------------- |_+) Come, Read the Story. Watch Worlds be Conquered. (ALL HAIL YOUR NEW ROBOT OVERLORDS!) See Arrogant Young Masters be slapped in the face (by a 170mm Rail-slug traveling Mach 3). Find Grand, Valuable Treasure (which gets put into storage, because what use does an AI have with pill herbs?) Explore Strange and wonderful lands (that will be shortly stripped mined and exploited for all usable resources) |_+) JOIN US!______________________________________ ALPHA-555-12-4412 (Designation: Star Conquer).One of the 5 most powerful and advanced AI-driven Interstellar Weapon Platforms ever built, was programmed with a very simple mission. Travel the stars.Seek out new and hospitable Alien Worlds.Establish a Forward based for their Master's eventual colonization.And, If necessary, crush any and all native resistance it might find. It was a Mission that Alpha took seriously and dedicated its entire being to.However, when Alpha flies a liiiiitle to close to a Blackhole and gets sucked in, it is thrown into a situation that no amount of programming could prepare it for. Now stranded on an alien, yet familiar world, full of dangerous beasts and strange phenomenon its database has no record or explanation for, Alpha must find a way to not only survive, but thrive.And eventually to do what he was built to do. Conquer._____________________________________________________Some things to expect from this Story 1): MC is an AI programmed with a very specific goal. Thus don't expect him to think or act like a human might. That being said, he/it is not bloodthirsty and evil either. He is specifically programed to work with, and indoctrinate Native species when possible. He is not a demon lord come to end the world as they know it, but a Conqueror come to subjugate. 2): MC won't be getting some kind of Humanoid form or suddenly start trying to think like a Human. Although an AI, he is perfectly Sapient, and fully understands both what he is and what is mission is. He is capable of adapting and changing his thought process, but at the end of the day, the Mission is what matters to him. He doesn't see the need or even WANTS to be Human. The only exception to this might be Humanoid body doubles or puppets used in places his main body isn't able to go. 3): This story is a mix of both Sci-Fi and Cultivation novels. MC with NOT be able to Cultivate themselves (for obvious reasons), but using his technology and knowledge, will be able to adapt and repurpose the strange and exotic resources you might find in a Cultivation World to increase his power and keep up with the powerhouses of this Universe. 4): The Intention of this story is to alternate between it and Parasite King, so I don't get burned out writing either one. As such, updates, while not slow, won't be to quick. Bare with me for awhile till the wheels get rolling.
8 203 - In Serial60 Chapters
Wake Up Dead
"Close your eyes, so that the next time you see the sun, you WAKE UP DEAD." 'The Suiciders' is a group of murderers specialized to murder various famous figures and set the crime scene in the form of suicide. It closes all the windows for the police to point it out as a murder. As a result, most of the such cases remain unresolved. But, their existence is not a mere folklore anymore. Kartik Khandelwal, a twenty-five year old promising detective at Delhi Police HQ, finds out about the group and starts leading 'The Suiciders Defence Squad' to put an end to the murders and save the day. But, the organization is now on a rogue to complete their sinister decade-long plan. Entangled by fate, read how a group of former college-men have to twist their ways of lives and ideologies upside-down just for the sake of their friends, families, and the country. ********** Web-novel series written by Zei Zackary, All Rights Reserved. Cover photo taken from Unsplash. >Follow me on Instagram and join my Discord server too by this link.
8 100 - In Serial24 Chapters
Dismissing Darkness
Out amidst the stars, far past the point Earth appears as a pale blue dot, a human spacecraft plunges forth towards new and exciting worlds. The passengers know they are never going home, not after the lengthy journey ahead of, and to a lesser extent behind them. They while away their time frozen in body and plugged into a simulation in mind waiting for a new planet to explore and colonize. Still, space is a place large enough for a surprise or two as our protagonist, the underqualified Mike Jackson (no relation) is soon to find out. ~~~ I will be posting chapters here and on my wordpress blog-thing, hopefully within minutes of each other multiple times a week. Currently on hiatus. If I get back to writing this one, it will be after I tweak it to make it feel less like an empty world with too many extras in the background.
8 70 - In Serial38 Chapters
Everlasting ღ Newt TMR¹
❛I know we're not everlasting, We're a train wreck waiting to happen.❜ Lori wakes up inside a grave, along with a body. Finally a boy helps her escape, and he takes her to the Glade, an encampment in the middle of a Maze. Lori has no idea where she is, who she is or how the hell she got into the middle of a Maze. All she knows is that she has to find a way out.!!!WARNING!!!- There will be spoilers for the books and movies (duh) - This was my first proper fanfic, and it's cheesy af Enjoy *+*COMPLETE*+**UNEDITED* I hope you all enjoy my new story. I only own Lori and whoever else you don't recognize from the books! xoxo - WrathfulDeity And please don't copyright, even if the story sucks, I rather it stays mine. COPYRIGHT 2014 ©WrathfulDeity Published 4/11/2014
8 130 - In Serial37 Chapters
Ultraman Nexus: Justice League Mightiest Hero
Himeya Jun, a deunamist of Ultraman Nexus had given his second chance by Ultraman Noa as he finally understood the power of light and why he was choosen. Join Ultraman in the world where human had receive a super power, some were mutant and many were alien, and fight along side with Earth Mightiest super hero, the Justice League.
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