I wake up by my alarm, making me groan before turning it off. As I turn around, I can see that Billie is already awake, looking at her phone.

"Morning," I mumble before yawning.

"Morning, babe."

We eat breakfast, trying to talk about things that feel easier than Travis being gone, but it's really hard not to think about it. After finishing my sandwhich, we return upstairs to pack our bags.

"I miss him," Billie says as she puts down on of her pants in her bag.

"I miss him, too," I sigh.

It takes a while to go to the airport, but we eventually make it there and it feels a bit hard to say goodbye to Charles.

''Bye, Charles. We'll see each other again when you move to Los Angeles,'' I say before pulling away from the hug with my uncle as he nods in agreement.

''Good luch with finding Travis. And remember what we talked about,'' Charles says, making me nod before pressing my lips together. The knot in my stomach returns as Billie grabs my hand, walking over the black floor of the airport.

''Dude, I'm going to miss this place as fuck,'' I say as Billie strokes my palm with her thumb.

''Same here, but we will see them later, remember that. Now, where the fuck is our gate?''

It takes a while, but we eventually border the plane and I feel my anxiety coming. I usually get scared and nervous on airplane, but this time I do feel really dizzy as the motors start to do the loud noises. Not wanting to show Billie how I'm struggling, I squeeze my eyes closed as I grab the armwrists as hard as I can, making my knuckles turn white. My breathing increases as the plane starts to go faster to lift. I try to calm myself down but nothing seems to work and it doesn't feel real. What am I doing? Why am I here? Why didn't I stay home? I'm so stupid for doing so many things that make me feel like. I miss my bed and...

I suddenly start thinking about something else as I meantion my bed in my thoughts. Which fucking bed? I don't live there anymore. What do I miss? I will never ever get home from school again to my room upstairs or make a sandwhich in that kitchen again because it's all... gone. Everything is happnening so fast right now, so I haven't had time to process what's been going on. My family is dead. There is nothing left for me to care about.

''Ember?''

Billie's voice. Why is she here? The shit that I've done to her is too much for me to stay with her. I'm so shitty for being with her. I'm stopping her from living her life.

''Ember, look at me!''

I snap out from my thinking, still breathing heavily as I realise that Billie is cupping my face, looking at me as worry is painted all over her face.

''Are you okay?'' She asks and I try to answer, but nothing comes out. I turn around quickly, realising that we're in the air before standing up, rushing towards the bathroom in the back of the plane. My vision is blurred, stopping me from walking in a normal way and I almost fall multiple times on my way to the bathroom. The steps behind me and the weak sound of someone telling me to stop doesn't stop me from entering the bathroom before shutting the door and locking it. The plane shakes and I finally see a tear making it's way down my cheek in the reflection of the mirror. I lean against the wall before sitting down, burying my face in my hands. I hate this.

''Ember, open the door!'' Billie shouts from the other side of the gray, plastic door but I ignore her request as I look up at the ceiling. I would do anything to switch lifes with anyone right now.

''Open the fucking door before I kick it open!'' Billie repeats and I finally stand up, opening the door while trying to whipe my tears away. As soon as Billie spots me, she joins me in the bathroom and closes the door behind us before wrapping her arms around me tightly, stopping me from moving.

''Breath with me,'' she mumbles.

''I fucking hate this,'' I pant.

''Just stay calm,'' she says softly and I try my best to breath slowly as she strokes my hair.

''What happened?'' She asks after a while.

''I think I had a panic attack,'' I admit, making her nod as if she expected that answer.

''Were you thinking about your family?'' She asks and I nod.

''Everything will be okay. It won't be like before, but it will be okay,'' she says.

We just stay there in each others arms for a while, almost falling every other second because of the turbulence from the plane, but we don't care. Everything that matters is that I've got her, and she's got me.

"I love you," I whisper against her lime green T-shirt, feeling how my tears creates a wet area on it.

"I love you, too," she says and I chuckle, making her furrow her eyebrows in confusion.

"I remember always thinking that I wouldn't say that I love you too often when we first got together, but I just want to say it all the time now," I mumble in explanation with a small giggle.

"Well, I don't think that there's something negative about it. I love you so much, so much that it will never lose it's meaning if I say it to you thousands of times."

Her words make me sigh as I inhale her scent. I grab onto her shirt when I suddenly notice how the plane starts to shake.

"Yo, what the fuck," Billie mumbles before looking around as the plane shakes even more. Before I get to answer, a voice can be heard from the speakers on the veichle.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will experience some turbulence right now! Everyone, please return to your seats as fast as possible so no one gets hurt.

"Shit," I say before unlocking the door and exiting the bathroom. I can hear how Billie giggles as we walk through the plane, everyone looking at us as if we just fucked or something. We sit down in our seats again, putting on our seatbelts before returning to focus on the turbolence.

"Need something?" Billie suddenly snaps, making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion. I turn around and realise that she's talking to an old lady who's staring at us. She looks away after Billie words, though. This is why I love her.