I can tell that it kills him

Every time I bring you up in conversation.

And I swear I try not to do it.

But you were my entire life before I knew him.

The history is still fresh,

Even though it's been 3 years.

And I'm still a fucking mess,

Even though I've gotten used to you not being here.

I don't know what's worse;

Telling him that I love him when I don't,

Or knowing that we'll never finish what we started.

'Cause it still hurts and I'm still brokenhearted.

I can't even write anymore without you around.

Even though you're still the muse that all of my nostalgic songs are about.

It's just not the same now.

Every time I try to run away from your memory

Those 15 years pull me right down to my feet.

He said "I love you" first.

So I forced the words to fight through my lips

Even though it hurt.

Everything changed so drastically

And in an instant.

That's how I know we'll never fix this.

And I think that's what made this so much more realistic.

Do you ever think about happiness and start to miss me?

I think I forget what it feels like to be truly happy.

We both made mistakes that started off so harmless.

Too bad we couldn't figure out how to fight in the darkness.

Truth is, I would've fought for a lifetime if I had known back then-

that how it all started, was how it all would end.

Do you think we'll always be so broken

And I'll always feel this hopeless?

'Cause I'm pretty sure I lost some pieces of myself.

I don't know if I can't fix my heart now

And I can tell that it kills him.