I'm laying on a cold, hard mattress. It's not even a mattress, it's the nurse's cot. I know it all too well, from my last school.

"Panic attack." I whisper to myself, and I feel instant guilt. Tobias and Christina must feel so bad, I hope they don't think it's their faults, it's really not.

It's Eric and Peter's fault.

No, it's my fault. I let it happen.

I let all the bad things happen to me. I let my self almost get raped. I didn't leave. I SAW him with drugs. I cared, but I didn't at the same time. He abused me. I was scared.

Too scared to say anything.

I doubt some people would have any problems with saying something. But I think differently. And those two, they're scary.

But I don't know why I panicked at Christina's squeal.

Did it remind me of my desperate screams for help?

Did it remind me of being scolded by him?

Or being attacked?

Of not being his perfect girlfriend.

I don't know why I let him do this. And because of that, I can't love again. I don't believe in it, I'm too hesitant for Tobias.

I'm probably just a fling anyways. I mean, the girls all drool when they see him walk around. And me?

They glare and scowl and yell and judge me.

And what is a therapist going to do to help me with that. They say it's all in my head. But it's not. Why would it be?

I can't see people staring at me inside my head.

Plus when these people stare, you feel it. You can actually feel them staring at you.

I look up and see that the school nurse walks in. "You're good to go back to class. Have a good day."

And she leaves.

Like everyone else in my life