I can't believe it. Yesterday this book had 7k views and when I woke up, it was at 10.2k. This is crazy. I never thought anyone would ever read a book that I wrote. I love you guys so much!

***

My entire life literally flashes in front of my eyes. All I see is red. Of course, I can't take my anger out on Luke, since he's half dead, the closest person around is of course, Nicki. I don't even know what she meant by what she said. I don't really care right now. I want to crack her scalp open.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I yell and tackle her on the ground. I don't even care that there are people around. I want to kill her.

So I did.

She was dead to me. Officially dead. And trust me, when you're dead to me, I'm not playing it nice anymore. So I didnt care how much I hurt her. I just kept on hitting and hitting her. Well, I did get hit back too, but my adrenaline was so high that time, I didn't feel anything.

She finally gets up, "no wonder Luke doesn't want you," she smirks, wiping the blood off of her face. Suddenly, she grabs a metal chair, hitting my ankle with it, spraining it. I let out a loud whimper and fall to the ground. Nicki looks around and quickly runs away.

I look around, seeing every single person in the room, looking at me. The adrenaline is wearing off and the pain is getting higher by the second. A nurse quickly runs to me, getting me on a hospital bed, taking me to a room. The doctor puts my ankle back in place and I end up in the same room as Luke. Which is, as you can imagine, awkward.

I don't talk or even look at him. I am so angry at him right now. What did she even mean by 'Ella said that you felt great the other day'? Surely, he isn't cheating on me, right? He wouldn't do that to me.

"It's not what you think, you know," Luke sighs after a while, breaking the silence. I don't look at him. I just stare at the blank, white wall.

"And what am I thinking?" I snap, turning my head. It's funny how before I met him, I was never angry. Maybe at my mom, but not like that. He can get me boiling in a second and I despise that.

"You're probably thinking that I'm a bad person and a cheater and probably some other things," he starts rambling and I roll my eyes at him. He sees that, so he stops. "My point is, I'm not a cheater. Ella fell yesterday and I helped her get up. After I did, she felt my muscles and said that I feel good. That my muscles feel good. I pushed her off and left. That's the story," he sighs, "if you don't believe me, then it's okay, I don't expect you to." He looks at me with such sadness in his eyes.

He can't possibly be lying. Right? His eyes wouldn't look so sad and pure.

Sighing deeply, "okay," I say and he smiles widely. I love his teeth. They're so pretty! And white. I stare at his smile for a while and then catch myself doing it, so I stop, shaking my head.

"You believe me?" He sighs. Honestly Luke, it should be obvious by now. I believe you stuff I normally wouldn't believe anyone.

I nod and he shakes his arms up in the air, as if he was holding a trophy, "I would kiss you, but you know..," he eyes my bed and his and I laugh, nodding.

After a while, I need to open the window, since there isn't any oxygen in the room. Slowly getting up and grabbing the crutches, I walk up to the window. As I open it, I see a familiar matte black car parked in front of the building.

It's just a coincidence. Haha. Don't worry Emma. A lot of people have black cars.

I take out my phone, writing down the registration number. "What are you doing?" Luke asks me and I shrug, "just have to text dad," I smile and he nods.

As the day goes by, Jack and V come and visit me.

"Nicki got suspended," V says happily, and I smile at the thought of an angry Nicki. She deserves it.

Bitch.

"And we've got you some candy and taco bell," Jack lifts up the bags and I smile, thanking him. I glance at Luke, who is looking at Jack with such hatred, you'd think he would kill him if he could.

He probably would, though.

"Emmy it's so boring without you," Jack sighs and Luke growls, "since when do you call her Emmy?"

Really? Now Luke?

Jack looks at him, mischievously, "since she lets me fuck her," he winks at Luke and I slap Jack.

"Can you not say stuff like that for like 5 minutes?" I roll my eyes. Luke is now trying to get up, to hit Jack, but his ribs aren't letting him do that.

"Can he not try and hit me for 5 minutes?" Jack rolls his eyes.

"Calm down buddy. You don't think you can beat me up in this state of yours?" Jack laughs, which makes Luke even more determined to get up and hit him. I roll my eyes at their childish behaviour.

Thankfully, a nurse comes in, warning Luke not to move too much, or else his ribs will be even more effed up.

After an hour or so, Jack and V have to go. They hug me and kiss me on my cheek. Jack was keeping his lips on my cheek longer than usual, making Luke almost lose his shit.

They leave as Luke shouts profanities at Jack.

"Baby calm down," I laugh. He scowls and pouts. I get up, jumping on one foot, to get to his bed. When I finally reach it, almost falling during jumping, I kiss him and he pulls me into his bed. I hug him carefully, since everything hurts him because of his fractured ribs.

He kisses me on the cheek, making me blush. This always happens. I kind of hate it, but also like it? It's weird. We lay like that for a while, until the nurse sees us and tells me to go back to my own bed.

Days fly by, and we're able to go back home. They release us from the hospital the same day we're returning back home. We slept through the entire ride. Luke slept mostly because he was on painkillers, which made him sleepy, and I just like sleeping.

I drove Luke's car to his place, since he was kind of in pain and dizzy. He then asked me to stay over, so I did.

"Would you like me to make you some soup?" I ask Luke, who's laying on the couch, watching Supernatural.

"You can cook?" He teases and I roll my eyes, "I'll take that as a yes," I say and start preparing his soup. It's done after a while.

"It's really good," he says with a mouth full of it, and I laugh. "Glad to hear that," I smile and kiss his forehead.

"I love it when you cook..and smile..and kiss me..and just.. exist," he smirks and I blush really hard. He's just too cute sometimes and I blush way too hard sometimes.

We get on the couch and watch Supernatural together. Luke quickly dozes off, so I decide to unpack his things, since he can't do it himself. Bringing the suitcase into his room, I start unpacking it and putting clothes into his wardrobe. He really has a lot of clothes. He's like a girl, I swear.

I laugh at the thought of Luke being a girl. Suddenly, I see a picture, where Luke keeps his socks. Slowly taking it out, I make sure not to damage it. It's Luke with his dad. Again. He must really love him.

It's weird how he's 8 years old or younger on every picture I see of him and his dad. They look so happy though. Luke's eyes look carefree and full of joy. I wish he'd still have that look in his eyes. I wonder what happened that it changed. Something had to happen, right?

Curiosity gets the best of me once more, and I take his diary into my hands once more, wiggling the lock, hoping that it will magically unlock. Of course nothing happens, so I put it back.

I get on my knees and look for the box with the pictures underneath his bed. The box isn't there anymore. He must have moved it, when he saw me looking at the pictures. I don't blame him, really. I would have done the same. Actually, if it were me, I'd never let him into my house again. So he was soft on me. I really shouldn't be so nosy.

But I really wanna know.

So I take the book from the shelf, deciding to read it.

Luke. If you are reading this, it means I'm dead.

I drop the book on the floor and stand there, in shock. Did I read that right? Is he dead? Is he like my Aarya? Oh god. I shouldn't be a nosy bitch. This is too much, even for me.

Okay, I'll read the first page and then I'm done.

I slowly grab it and lift it up.

Author's note:

Before you start reading I have one wish - It's for your mother to never read this book. I don't want her seeing it or knowing anything about it. This is the only copy of the book. I only made one for you. Johnny will give it to you when you're older and you'll understand why I did, what I did. I need you to know that you meant the world to me and even though I'm not physically here, I'm always with you. I'm always watching over you. Looking out for you, that you won't fall for the wrong person like I did. And it ruined me, as you can see now. I want you to know that I left because it's better that way for all of us; your mother doesn't have to live with someone she doesn't really love, you won't have a depressed, alcoholic, deadbeat father and I'll be happier.

I don't want you to blame your mother for this. I don't. It was my choice. It's not her fault that she didn't love me, the way I loved her. I still do and that will never change. She was the love of my life and it saddens me, to know, it wasn't mutual.

Enjoy you life son. Don't worry about a thing. And most importantly, don't look back at my death. Live the way you would if I were still alive.

I love you, son.

I slowly close the book and put it back on the book shelf.

And then it finally hits me; his father is dead. He really is dead. I was way too nosy and now I know stuff I'm not supposed to.

He's dead because Luke's mom cheated. No wonder Luke doesn't want to spend any time with her. I don't blame him. It saddens me, that Luke had to go through all that. That he grew up without a father figure. All that, because his mother didn't love him enough.

The pain he went through is unimaginable. But he was so young when it happened that he probably didn't even know what it meant. He probably was waiting for him to come back home one day.

But he never did.

I take the picture back into my hands and look at it. I hear a low voice behind me, "What the fuck are you doing?"

***

I.

Can't.

Wait.

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