I've always wanted to be "her."

She was outgoing, more open about herself then I'll ever be.

She was loud, brave, ambitious, and she was always surrounded by people.

Honestly, I didn't really want to be like her,

but my mind told me it's what I wanted.

I knew couldn't be her.

Everyday she talked to them and not me was a reminder I wasn't good enough.

I don't want to be her anymore.

Maybe because I'm to scared,

or maybe because I always knew she was just as scared.

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She was one of my best friend

and when I began homeschooling we lost touch.

I always looked up to her and her ability to communicate with others,

but I knew she went through as much stuff as me

and sometimes I could see through the mask

which she noticed. I guess that was why she was so open with me.

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