[21]

The rain that is pattering down onto earth is the only noise in the room, which is embraced by an awkward silence.

Riku and I are sitting in his kitchen, around the small dining table that stands in one corner of the room. Pizza is sitting in the center of the table, and our plates are each filled with a few pieces of it. Riku had offered to order some earlier and I didn't want to be suspicious, so I agreed.

It's not like I can't eat a few slices of pizza, it's just that the guilt consumes me with every bite I take. Eating always made me feel insecure and uncomfortable, especially in front of strangers, and on top of that, it made me feel like I was adding to the list of things that make me a mistake.

With every bite I take of whatever I'm eating, I always feel like my body is morphing into something even uglier than I already am.

I push the feeling down and continue nibbling on the piece of pizza in my hand, all the while watching Riku with curious eyes. His gaze is fixed on the window, behind which the water is pouring down like a year's worth of water.

The small light that is hung up right above the dining table illuminates his face like the sun did earlier this day. It creates an image of a guy that is much more gentle and relaxed than the person he really is. Or maybe I just don't know him enough to judge what kind of person he might be. After all, I only know what I can see, and that consisted of not a lot other than fights and glares so far.

But somehow there is something inside of me that urges me to dig deeper, to find out more about him.

Just in that moment, his eyes suddenly find mine, a smirk crossing his lips.

"Are you checking me out?" he inquires, raising one of his eyebrows.

My cheeks heat up at his words and my gaze instantly snaps into another direction, embarrassed that he caught me staring. Out of habit, I absentmindedly begin assaulting my lip again.

However, the moment I feel his fingers on my chin, forcing me to lock eyes with him again, I stop. His dark orbs stare back at me intensely, the smirk gone. It's like I don't even notice what is going on around me anymore the moment my eyes find his, it's like he captures my full attention and I'm unable to escape it.

My heart is pounding in my ears as we continue just gazing into one another's eyes.

Eventually, he breaks the silence, "Don't stop." And for a split second, I can see an emotion dancing around in those brown orbs of his. It's affection - an emotion that I hadn't even dreamt of ever seeing in his eyes. For some reason, it fills the space around my heart with warmth that surges through my whole body. "I like it when you do it."

The color on my cheeks darkens further, gaining his attention. I try to get out of his grip but he has my chin tightly secured between his fingers, making it impossible to turn my head away. So, I just settle my eyes on his earring, finding comfort in not looking into his eyes when I know that their full attention is on me.

After a few excruciating moments of awkward silence, he finally lets go of my chin, turning back to his plate. I trace my fingers over the place that he had held onto. My father had done the same thing every so often when I was too afraid to meet his gaze, but when he did it, it felt like someone was crushing my jaw and pressing bruises into my skin. However, Riku's touch didn't. It didn't hurt nor did it scare me, it only made me feel insecure.

Once again, my past memories are being drowned out by thoughts about Riku. It's like my mind is battling itself, wanting me to suffer but at the same time not being able to forget his actions and his touches.

A sigh slips past my lips as I shove the rest of the piece of pizza into my mouth. My stomach churns in protest, but I swallow anyway. I just want to distract myself and the only method that I know for that, is hurting myself or forcing myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. And shoving food down my throat definitely falls into that category.

So for the rest of 'dinner', I continue stuffing my mouth with pizza until my plate is completely cleared. It's the first time in who knows how long that I've actually cleared my plate.

Afterwards, while Riku shoves the plates and cutlery into his sink, dismissing it and telling me that he'd do it later on, I once again stare out the window. The sky still hasn't stopped crying and for some strange reason, it comforts me. It comforts me to know that I'm not the only one who can cry for hours straight without slowing down for even a second.

Riku's voice rips me out of my thoughts, "I'll take the couch, you can sleep in my bed." My mouth opens in an attempt to protest, but he quickly adds, "You already slept in it anyway", shutting me up.

If I wasn't so damn tired, I surely would have tried to come up with an excuse or with a reasonable explanation as to why I'd prefer to sleep on the couch, but my mind is too exhausted from all the events that took place today. So, I simply nod my head in response, not even vocalizing my answer.

He nods back. "Well, you know where my room is, right?" Again, I simply nod my head. "Well then, uh . . . " he trails off, and for the first time, I see him do something that doesn't look robotic or as casual and nonchalant as he always makes every movement of his look like; he starts playing with the rings on his right hand.

"Good night," I blurt out, breaking the awkward silence and making it even worse, but before it can consume me and send me into a train of anxious thoughts, I slip out of the room. I press my back against the door for a moment and take a deep breath, listening to the thundering of my heart.

I think back to the faint surprise in his eyes and before I even notice what is happening the corners of my lips are once again lifted upwards. It is only for a very few short seconds but it is enough to send another hard breeze of wind through my stomach, whirling around my insides and somehow still making me feel good about it.

But as soon as I realize what is happening, the barely visible smile drops and my lips are pressed back into a thin line. Though the storm in my stomach doesn't calm down.

I'm getting more lost in his actions the more he shows sides of him that I haven't seen before. The more he looks at me, makes my heart leap, and says things that confuse me and warm my heart at the same time, the more the walls around my heart give in to him.

Making my way over to the room that I had woken up in earlier, I try to come up with a possible explanation for the affect that he has on me. But the more I think about it, the more confusion swarms my mind.

So instead of making myself go crazy about it, I just let myself fall onto his bed and try to ignore the fact that his scent is practically engulfing me from every side. I lay there and watch the ceiling in silence. But then, a thought that had been circling around in my mind all day long but that I never actually gave any thought to because some other thought was always pushing it away, crosses my mind.

What about my aunt?

She must be dying of worry right now. The thought makes that familiar feeling of guilt crawl up my spine. But what am I supposed to do? My phone is dead and I have no idea what her number is.

And because of that damn storm and because I have no idea where the hell I even am, I can't just go home.

I let out a frustrated groan. Honestly, I've been sighing and groaning all day long. This day was just a mess, it toyed with my feelings and my heart, and my mind is a chaos right now.

So, while I stare into the darkness of the room, I try to push all my thoughts away, to clear my mind. But they're too loud and too persistent, always pushing themselves back in.

So, throughout the whole of the night, I lay awake, watching the pool of blackness slowly get illuminated by the rising sun.

When I toss around for the hundredth time, I finally swing my legs over the bed frame and glance at the clock that is hung up on the wall above the bed. It reads 6:46AM.

Deciding that I've had enough of rolling around on that bed, I tiptoe my way out of the room and into the bathroom.

However, as soon as I open the door to the bathroom, I instantly wish that I had just continued letting my thoughts drown me.

There, standing in front of the mirror with only a towel hanging around his hips, fixing his hair, is Riku. My mouth drops in a silent gasp. His hair is damp, and droplets of water are dropping onto his skin and rolling down his back. It's almost impossible to hold my eyes back from following that one droplet that runs down his chest, down to the towel. So, I simply let them.

While doing so, I notice the outlines of faintly visible abs on his stomach and the tattoo of a lion head that is inked into the right side of his chest.

My heart drops just as a tornado whips through my stomach, an overwhelming feeling surging through my veins.

When my gaze then eventually trails up to his face, I swallow down the lump in my throat, watching the undecipherable look in his eyes. He is just staring and observing like he always does. The thoughts that are racing through his mind are impossible to make out just by looking at his blank facadę which he has mastered to perfection, and it drives me crazy.

Usually, reading people's expression was easy, but with him it's like trying to solve a math problem that has dozens of ways of how to find a solution to it: impossible.

Suddenly, he stalks into my direction. My body is frozen in place, my heart hammering against my ribcage like it has done more than it's healthy in the last twenty four hours. Riku only stops a few inches away from me. His chest is so close that with every breath I take, with every time my chest rises, it brushes his.

He leans in, snaking his arm around me and grabbing ahold of the door handle. With his breath in my face, he closes the door, his eyes never leaving mine. He lets go of the door handle and instead presses his hand against the now closed door, succesfully shoving my back into it and caging me.

He doesn't say anything, he just gazes into my eyes with that undescribable look lingering within his orbs.

A droplet of water suddenly drops onto my shoulder, soaking the fabric of the hoodie that Riku had given me. And another droplet lands on my cheek, rolling down almost like a tear would. Riku's eyes snap to the 'fake tear'. Hesitantly, he raises his hand and cups my cheek, his thumb caressing my cheekbone and wiping away the droplet of water.

It causes my breath to quicken, a spark of electricity running through my chest and heating up my face.

I feel the tips of my ears turn red as Riku silently continues caressing my cheek.

God, just what is this guy doing to me?

Just then, the buzzing of a phone rings through the room, snapping me out of my daze. I glance at the phone that is lying on the edge of the sink, looking ready to fall down and shatter into pieces.

I let out a shaky breath when Riku finally takes a step backwards and turns around.

The heat in my cheeks rises to dangerous temperatures as I can't refrain my eyes from watching his still very naked back. Slowly, I tear my eyes away from him, no matter how hard it is, and slip through the door as quickly as possible. As soon as I'm back in the hallway, I scurry into his room, almost stumbling over my own feet in the process.

I snatch my backpack and swing it over my shoulder, ignoring the burning pain there. And without a glance at the bathroom door or another thought about Riku, I run out of the apartment, not even caring about the fact that I have no idea where I am or how to find my way home, or at least to school.

He is dangerous.

Dangerously close to getting me attached.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey there.

My obsessed ass couldn't help herself, so here you go with another chap.

We got some tension in here y'all, whether it's sexual tension or something else, who knows.

Anyway, what do you think will happen in the next chap?

Btw, the last few chaps were about one day, so I had to refrain myself from writing something too crazy, lol.

But we will get an ever better view of Riku's feelings soon and also, the tension will rise between them, y'all.

Stay safe! Love ya guys!

❤

P.s: Thank you so much for all the comments! I love reading them so much <3

- L I S A