A/N: Hello everyone! I know I said I wouldn't post till well within this week but I thought I'd surprise you since I had some time. This is the chapter about Seb's secrets. There had been plenty of speculation about what it could be. I think one or two had guessed it although this chapter would expound it a whole lot more. I'm glad it wasn't too easy to guess but also not to far-fetched that no one ever thought of it. =)

I hope you guys continue to vote and comment. I really appreciate it.

Enjoy!

***

The trip to Scarsdale, New York was turning out to be quite surreal.

For one, we took Skylark, the sleek Boeing private jet Sebastian owned—it was tripped up with the most luxurious furnishings and amenities one could only dream of including a Jacuzzi and a home theater.

Sebastian didn’t seem fazed by it as Captain Mercer came out to greet us and chat with him about business while I wandered around inside the customized cabin, marveling at the expensive and sophisticated touches and the small staff catering to our every comfort that bespoke just how ridiculously wealthy Sebastian Vice was.

I knew he was rich—his wealth and social status had always intimidated me when I remembered them—but standing inside his private jet hit me with the realization that until now, I really had no idea just how vast his fortune was.

I don’t even think I’ve ever really looked closely.

I know The Vice Group was one of the largest and most powerful companies in the world known for its excellent collection of businesses dealing in different industries and trades and Sebastian owning it gave him a pretty hefty paycheck. I knew pretty much all of the jars he had his fingers in, working as a business analyst at TVG. I know he owned three homes for sure—Cove Manor, the Rockford penthouse and Italian villa he’d mentioned in passing. I know he had two pleasure crafts—a megayacht named after his mother, Marianna, and a smaller, speedier one named after his sister, Alexandra. I know he had some planes. I know he had a few cars. I know he had a small army of security headed by Jennison who was his bodyguard/chauffeur/personal assistant/advisor. I know he purchased businesses and houses for me like he was picking me up some treats to bring home.

But those were all that I directly saw and knew about.

If what Sebastian said to me this morning was true, that he wanted to spend his life with me, it wouldn’t do that I didn’t fully realize just what kind of life it was that he was asking me to share with him. And maybe I should start having a fairly good idea about it if I were to give him an answer about moving in with him after this weekend.

“Just how rich are you?” I asked bluntly as he joined me in the master suite a few minutes later.

I had just set down my small suitcase on the floor and sat primly on the corner of the bed, almost anxious that I would somehow wrinkle this impeccably arranged room that could rival the best suite in a five-star hotel. His rooms in both of his residences were well-appointed but this was in a plane, for God’s sake. Comfort was one thing but this was plain, simple luxury.

Sebastian quirked a brow at me in amusement. “Considering you’re in business planning, I’d assumed you’ve already done all your research on my net worth.”

I bristled. “I sometimes research companies, not people—well, not their personal habits and lifestyle anyway. Besides, in the four years I was trying to forget you, I resisted looking you up for any reason at all.”

“You weren’t even curious?” he teased as he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it on the bed.

“Of course, I was curious about everything about you but it was hardly going to help me get over you if I constantly devoured any bit of info I could find,” I snapped irritably. “And to be honest, it didn’t really sink in on me who you were to the world until much later. For a while, I mostly only thought of you as the guy I disastrously fell in love with that summer.”

His expression softening, Sebastian wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, leaning his head down against mine. “That’s probably one of the reasons I fell hard for you, darling. Because you actually knew the person I was, as unpleasant as I could be sometimes, rather than the public figure everyone is so fascinated with.”

I slipped my hand around his neck, fingering the collar of his shirt. “But that public figure is a part of you, Sebastian. And being with you now, like this, out in the real world, demands that I deal with both sides of you. I can manage it most of the time but I must admit, there are times when it overwhelms me a bit.”

“My wealth is a part of my life I don’t intend to give up,” Sebastian said gently as he tucked an errant lock of hair behind my ear. “It allows me to take care of you like I can now. It allows me to do a lot of things that can make a difference. But money is just money. I will not risk you for it.”

I smiled. “It’s a lot of money. So, answer me. Just how rich are you?”

It was probably a crude thing to ask other people in normal circumstances but I trusted that Sebastian knew me well enough to understand that my question did not originate from greed.

“Rich enough,” he said with a grin.

“Rich enough to own a private jet and some boats and a couple of palatial houses?” I pressed with an arched brow.

He sighed and pressed feathery kisses along my jaw. “Fine. Quite rich then.”

I laughed weakly and tilted my head back to allow him access to my neck. “Hmm... I’d probably say, too rich.”

His head pulled back slightly, his searing green eyes scanning my face with concern. “Does it bother you, Cassandra? The fact that I’m rich?”

I bit my lip. “Sometimes. I come to you with not very much. I sometimes don’t know what else I could give you that you couldn’t buy yourself.”

“Don’t be silly,” he chided softly. “You give me plenty of what I can never even shop for anywhere else. You give me your smiles, your laughter, your friendship, your love, your passion. They make me a rich man in a completely different way.”

“Sure,” I said disbelievingly. “I bet you’ve never acquired a company by paying for it in smiles.”

He threw his head back laughing. “True, I haven’t, but that’s why the riches you give me are rare and special. They only feel like reward to someone who loves and worships you so.”

My heart tugged with a sweet, heavy ache as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and brushed the tip of my nose against his chin. “You don’t mind terribly that I’m not rich like you?”

“Why would you even think of such nonsense?” he said in a slightly exasperated voice. “I don’t need anything from you but yourself, Cassandra. I don’t need any more money. I have plenty of it and everything I have is yours, do you understand?”

The fierce expression on his face sent a warm thrill straight down my gut. “I’m just your girlfriend, Sebastian. You shouldn’t be so hasty in—”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Cassandra,” he nearly growled, his mouth curling down grimly. “Girlfriend is merely a temporary term that barely covers what you are to me. In my heart and in my mind, you are my wife—at least until I can convince you to be one in paper too.”

My mouth opened to say something—anything—to fill the sudden silence that stretch between us but I couldn’t make a sound.

The conviction in Sebastian’s voice and expression was almost palpable in the air and his declaration thrilled and terrified me at the same time.

“Don’t attempt to give me an answer now,” he finally said with a sigh, his eyes closing briefly. “It’s not fair to expect one from you until you’ve learned what we’ve come to Scarsdale for.”

I touched a trembling hand to his cheek. “Sebastian...”

“It’s alright,” he murmured softly, pressing a kiss between my brows, on the tip of my nose and on my lips. “Whatever happens this weekend, whatever your choice is, no matter how painful, I will respect it. Because I’ve found that you were right when you said you couldn’t love half a man, Cassandra. I want you to love all of me—even the parts that deserve none of it.”

“I love you enough as it is,” I whispered in a small voice, kissing his chin. “There’s no need to prove anything to me.”

“There is,” he said calmly although a slight tremor betrayed his anxiety. “Until you know exactly what kind of man I am, you’ll never be fully certain of whether you want to be with me for life or not. And that’s how I need you, my love—as my wife, for the rest of our lives together. Do you understand?”

I nodded and pressed closer within in his arms.

I wasn’t afraid of what I would learn—I was certain of how I felt for him and what that meant for us.

What I was afraid of was that Sebastian would find another reason to believe he deserved none of the happiness that’s within his reach and push me away once again.

***

The drive to our destination was scenic—Scarsdale, New York was like a story book village with the old world charm of historic houses and buildings, old, lush trees and a slower pace of life.

A lot of new seemed to be getting mixed in with the old but it was simply enchanting.

I asked some questions during the drive and Sebastian gave me brief, matter-of-fact answers without a hint of warmth or familiarity.

As charming as everything was, something in this small village was a dark, angry place in Sebastian’s heart.

We drove through the suburbs until we started rolling up a road on a hill thickly covered by a canopy of trees that wove intricate shadow patterns over us.

We stopped in front of a wide, wrought-iron gate at the beginning of what appeared to be a long drive that curved and disappeared around a grove of trees and a plain-clothes security personnel nodded at Jennison who poked his head out of the driver’s seat in greeting.

“Welcome to Westerra Hall,” Sebastian murmured as he tensed slightly the moment the car followed the turn around the trees to reveal another stretch of road that led up to a circular driveway wrapped around a magnificent tiered stone fountain. It stood proudly across from a stunning English stone manor that resembled a small castle with the crenellated edges of what looked like a small keep that functioned as the imposing front entrance. It looked like it was plucked straight out of the English countryside with the lush border of trees in the distance that secluded the estate from the rest of the world.

“Baby?” Sebastian prompted as he extended a hand to help me down from the car.

I blinked out of my mesmerized daze and saw that he and Jennison were already waiting for me while I was frozen on the spot the moment my eyes filled with the glorious countryside around us.

“Whose house is this?” I asked in a whisper as if somehow being overheard would snap me out of this daydream.

A small smile twitched at the corner of Sebastian’s mouth. “My family’s. This was our original home, when my parents married and decided to live permanently in America. I was born here.”

I slowly turned around after we stepped into the vast foyer, taking in the warm, grand interior that spoke of wealth and luxury.

“How long did you live here?” I asked as I took in the intricate moldings and carvings on the rich wood panels and trim work of the coffered ceilings.

“Until I was about five,” was Sebastian’s short reply and I looked up and found a scowl starting to wrinkle between his brows. “Cove Manor's expansion had been finished then and we moved there so my father could be closer to the newly established corporate office in Cobalt Bay.”

I opened my mouth to ask more but a middle-aged man with silver hair emerged from one of the halls and did a shallow bow. “Master Sebastian, welcome. I apologize for the delay. An urgent matter required my immediate attention.”

“It’s alright, Egbert,” Sebastian said with a casual nod back. “Darling, this is Egbert, our butler. Egbert, this is Ms. Cassandra Collins.”

“Hello,” I greeted warmly as I smiled and extended a hand to shake that of the aging butler who seemed startled at my gesture. Just like Sebastian, he carried a faint British accent. “It’s nice to meet you, Egbert. I’m very excited to be here.”

The butler managed a brief nod before casting a meaningful glance at his employer that I couldn’t quite figure out.

“Jennison’s already gone up with our luggage,” Sebastian said, gesturing to the stairs. “We’ll be out for a walk. Please make sure dinner is ready when we get back in an hour or so.”

“I shall see to it. Ms. Collins, welcome. May your stay be pleasant,” Egbert said somberly before affecting another respectful bow and turning to head back down the hallway.

“Master Sebastian?” I asked, glancing at Sebastian with a wry smile. “Just how many butlers and houses do you have?”

He just shrugged. “I only have two butlers—Percy, who moved from Cove Manor to Rockford because he could work in a variety of roles, and Egbert who came with my mother whose family his own had served for generations. I have other properties but I rarely visit so a housekeeper sufficed in simply keeping them running.”

I glanced around the grand foyer and found the emptiness eerie. Westerra Hall was bigger than Cove Manor but it seemed devoid of human presence except for the lone butler. To maintain a house like this, it must require a sizeable staff.

“Do you come here often?”

The slight stiffening of Sebastian’s shoulders was hard to miss.

I patiently waited as he took a moment to ease off the impulse to escape. He took in a steadying breath and offered his arm to me. “Come with me for a walk, darling. It’s beautiful outside.”

It was.

The walk through the main floor of the house was curious and interesting with the opulence and charm that touched every single detail of the interior. Stepping out to the large stone patio, the vast size of the property became more prominent. Land stretched past the large covered pool lounge and multi-level gardens and disappeared into a thick grove of tall, very old trees in the distance. It would’ve been splendid and lovely in the summer but in the late fall, most of the plants and trees had already lost their leaves and the scraggly, bare branches and gnarled trunks set against the backdrop of a dusky, dark gray sky lent the scene an almost macabre effect.

I shuddered slightly and Sebastian paused to glance down at me, his expression so hard and inscrutable it made him seem like a stone sculpture.

“What is it?” he asked, the muscles in his arm where I’d entwined mine tightening with tension. “Are you frightened?”

My brow raised. “Should I be?”

His deep green eyes gazed at me for a moment before his lips pressed into a thin line. “Westerra Hall may seem picturesque but it’s not... it’s not a good place. The past is what I brought you here for. It’s the last thing I want to you be a part of but I want no secrets between us anymore.”

A rush of joy shot through me. After many frustrating years of fervent hope that I could strike down each wall that protected Sebastian, he was finally taking my hand and letting me in through the door.

I squeezed his arm and smiled. “Tell me then. Tell me everything.”

We walked along the cobbled path that wound through the expanse of the estate grounds, moving towards the woods.

“My mother loved my father and had hoped that in marrying him, she would have a chance to make him love her and her only. She couldn’t have been more wrong.”

“Even in my earliest memories, I remember that my father was rarely around. Mother would always say he was busy with work but I saw him one time, with one of his women,” Sebastian said in a grave voice, glancing at me briefly. “I told you about this, four years ago. Do your remember?”

I nodded.

I remembered him telling me that when he was only four or five, he’d walked in on his father saddling a woman in his lap in his office and that young as he was, he didn’t know what his father was doing except that it must have been very wrong and he’d rushed off to his mother. Even at that age, he knew telling his mother would only hurt her more so he had kept it to himself.

“Cove Manor was our summer house but my mother had it expanded to become our permanent home. When it was finally finished, my mother was excited to move,” he continued stiffly. “I think she was excited by the idea that moving our family to a new house on the other side of the country would give my father the fresh start she was desperate for him to have. We moved in the summer but my father was still barely around. He would still be called away a lot on trips.”

“That year, I was to turn six in October and my mother learned that my father was staying here in Westerra Hall. I wanted him to be there on my birthday and begged my mother for us to come and see him and because she loved me so much, she couldn’t say no.”

We’d stopped by a clearing beyond the woods that revealed a small, private lake with a serene greenish gray surface. On the other side of it, a small but charming cabin stood, sheltered by the thick grove of trees.

“My father was furious to find us at the door and he’d yelled at my mother for some time about how inconvenient our presence was and how we always got in the way of his work and all that crap,” Sebastian said coldly, squinting at the cabin almost in contempt. “My mother kept to herself in her room and cried all day.”

“I had my own room but I stayed with her that night because she’d been so sad. She’d slipped out some time that night and because I worried that she’d be scared in the dark and get lost, I followed her.”

I shivered because the frail composure that’s been holding Sebastian together was fast crumbling.

His shoulders were rigid, his jaw clenched and his eyes were a blazing green—full of raw, unconsolable anguish.

If I could hold his soul together for him, ease the guilt and sorrow that he wore like a chain of spikes over his shoulders, wrap my arms around him and let him know it was okay to let go, I would, at whatever price, because whatever his sins may be, Sebastian deserved better than the punishment he seemed intent on suffering.

“I wasn’t scared of the dark or the fact that I was following my mother through the woods in the middle of the night,” Sebastian said with a ragged exhalation of breath. “I followed her as she approached the cabin which had been dimly lit from the inside. The cabin was very rarely used.”

Dread clutched at my insides but I held myself back from speaking.

“There was a lot of shouting so I ran as fast as I could, bolting through the door.” Sebastian paused, seeming to need a moment to find the strength to continue. When he did, the silent fury brewing under the surface was unmistakable. “My father was there, shirtless and disheveled while a woman wrapped in sheets was getting hysterical.”

“It was like watching a scene from a movie that for a moment I felt detached as everything happened in front of me,” Sebastian said in a rasp whisper, tilting his head up to gaze at the cabin once again.

I raised my other hand, almost about to stop him from carrying on if it hurt him so much, but I froze at the next words he spoke.