It wasn't long before it was time to head out to Arden's place. I didn't bother to invite my friends since the rapper had told me only a few people were going to be there. She probably wouldn't have minded if I brought my friends along with me, but I decided that not bringing them was for the best. After the conversation on the phone, I knew they would tease me all through the night if they were present. They'd keep whispering in my ear and reminding me about the whole anal beads thing and I'd blush while Arden looked at all three of us as if were lunatics. The last thing I wanted was for Arden to think that I was weird, so my friends would just have to sit at home for tonight. I'm sure they had better things on their agendas anyways.

I looked through my wardrobe for something to wear. Arden had said that only a few of her friends were going to be over, so I figured something really casual would do. I picked out a pretty plain top and a pair of jeans before I got ready to go over to her place. Once I got downstairs and started for the door, I heard someone call my name. I groaned and turned around to face Rose. "Where are you going," she asked me as if she was my mother. Actually, mom wouldn't even ask me where I was going because she actually trusted me. Rose, although, did not. She was so damn overprotective.

"I'm going over to Arden's place. Only a few of her friends are going to be there so don't worry your little soul. I'll be fine and I'll be careful," I told her nonchalantly as I turned to face the door again. I twisted the knob but of course Rose wasn't going to let me go that easily.

"You do know that you have an important photo shoot tomorrow, right," she asked me once I turned back to look at her. I huffed and rolled my eyes as she raised her eyebrows. "Partying with Arden may get your name out there, but if you start being late for shoots then your career is basically over. You have so much potential, Mira. We didn't move here from Hungary for nothing."

I crossed my arms and bit down on my lower lip. Me wanting to be a model was probably the main reason why we even moved to the States, but it wasn't the only one. Rose acted like she wasn't just as excited as me to come live in the city of the stars. "Yeah, I get it. I value my job and like I said before, I'll be careful. I'll be home within a few hours. I'm not even staying long," I replied with a shrug. It was true. I wasn't planning on staying at Arden's place long. I had to get up in the crack of dawn the next morning.

"Fine," Rose said as she gave me a small smile. "Go have fun." I smiled as well before running to give her a hug. Reluctantly, she hugged me back but then pushed me towards the door. "Get out of my house, faszfej." I gave Rose the middle finger for basically calling me a "d-ckhead" in Hungarian before exiting out of the house.

When I got to Arden's place, it was a whole different scene than the night prior. Excessive cars weren't parked outside of her house and I couldn't hear music from blocks away. No one was standing in her yard, littering or smoking, everything was vacant. I got out of my own car, which couldn't hold a candle to any of Arden's luxurious cars. I had a basic Toyota and it wasn't even one of the newer models. It was a model from 2004, but at least it got me places, although, it didn't get me anywhere in style. There was a bunch of dents and scratches on my car, but for now, it worked. When I actually started making money that's when I would buy me something a bit nicer.

I rang the doorbell of Arden's house and I could hear laughter coming from the inside. Whoever was in there sure was having a lot of fun. After a few moments, the door swung open and Kyndall was standing there with a red face. She was smiling uncontrollably and also trying to contain her laughter. "Come on in, Mira! We were waiting for you, girl!" Kyndall led me further into the home. "These assholes are crazy," she informed me as she continued to giggle her ass off. We walked closer towards the laughter until we walked into a sitting room that had a humongous television. Arden was running around the room as a guy that I didn't recognize chased her. In Arden's hands, she had a weird small sculpture. The sculpture was black and it was of a man with a large penis.

"Give me back my f-cking sh-t," the boy yelled as his blond hair flew in the wind. He had a scruffy beard and an athletic build. Even though he looked athletic, he couldn't catch Arden for anything. I laughed as I watched Arden run into the kitchen. She jumped onto a kitchen counter and held the sculpture over her head. She almost resembled a modern, corrupt statue of liberty. "Arden, I will pull your ass by your feet and drag you all the way to the f-cking ground."

"Shane, why do you have a sculpture of a black man with an obscenely large cock," Arden asked with a playful smirk on her face. Shane's cheeks flushed red as he looked around the room. Justin, Anthony, Kyndall and I were all staring with amusement. "I always thought you were a little fruity, but you've had way too many girlfriends so it kind of eliminated all of your f-cking gayness!" Shane literally growled at Arden. He was so frustrated and annoyed by her and I found it hilarious. It looked like he was ready to rip her into shreds. "As a straight black man, Anthony, I would be very weirded out by all of this."

Anthony chuckled and shook his head a bit in disgust. "Look, whatever this man does with his booty hole is his business. I don't have sh-t to do with it. Whatever goes in and comes out is all his business, bro."

"It's not a f-cking dildo, assholes," Shane defended as he turned to face the rest of us. "You guys are really embarrassing me in front of the new girl," he yelled as he pointed over to me. I gave a shy smile as everyone looked towards me. Arden hopped of the counter and sprinted past Shane to get towards me. "You Australian f-ck," he yelled as he face turned redder than ever.

Arden smirked as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "You Americans are so weird and aggressive. You bitches just may be the biggest assholes next to Russia and North Korea. I mean, America is supposed to be the place to be, but really your country is f-cking trash. Ain't that right, Hungarian?" The rapper looked towards me, but I kind of disagreed with her. America wasn't as safe as I thought it would be, but it wasn't so bad. The people were bit stuck up, but that was only because I was living in California. If I was living somewhere in the south, then I'm sure people would be a bit more friendly.

"I mean, sort of," I agreed in a way.

"See! Even the Hungarian thinks that Americans are sh-t and Hungarians are usually nice! What about you, Canadian? How do you feel about America? I mean you used to live right on top of it. Canada. America. Same f-cking thing, right," Arden asked Justin. I wasn't sure what her point of all of this was, but Shane was getting angrier by the second. His eyes were focused on his sculpture and he wanted it back. "I have to applaud you though, Shane. You have a sculpture of a black man. I guess we sure can't call you racist, ain't that right, Anthony?" Anthony gave Arden the middle finger and she chuckled. "Okay, seriously, why do you have this," she asked in the most serious voice that she could muster up.

Shane sighed as he finally approached Arden and snatched the sculpture from her hands. "It's something that I won at a bar one time. Supposedly, if you pray to it two times a day, your d-ck will get bigger." Out all the people, I was the first to laugh. That was so pathetic and bogus! How could praying to such a badly formed sculpture help any guy grow some inches on their penis!? I laughed harder than I had laughed in weeks with Arden's arm still wrapped around me. She was just as tickled as I was. "It's not funny! It's actually been working. I've grown like a centimeter in five months!"

"Dude, you just played yourself so hard," Justin told Shane as he wiped tears from his eyes. "You pray to a statue of a guy with a big d-ck. That's gay as f-ck, and then the reason why you pray to the statue is because your d-ck obviously isn't up to par."

"My man, that's a damn shame. I thought I'd never see the day that a white man would pray to a black god. What even is this guy's name? The Long D-ck god?"

"Wait, the real God isn't black? Then why did Morgan Free play him in Bruce Almighty," Arden asked with all the confusion in the world. I really couldn't handle this. I was still laughing about how this Shane guy prayed to a statue for a bigger d-ck, and then here is Arden thinking that God was Morgan Free. "I mean, I'm not too religious but I mean I would assume God is black."

"My dude, God is clear," Anthony argued.

"So, that's why we never see him," Kyndall joked.

"Okay so God is clear, but Jesus was obviously black right," Arden continued assuming ethnicities of religious figures. "I mean, it's obvious Buddha was like Mexican." Everyone looked at Arden with the utmost confusion. "What? He wasn't Mexican?"

"First off, there's no historical evidence that Buddha ever existed. I don't think he did exist," Justin said matter-of-factly. "He's just a figure for Buddhism, I think. I don't f-cking know. I'm not a Buddhist so why the f-ck should I care."

"Well, I guess Canadian education beats Australian education," Arden shrugged as she finally moved her arm from around me. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind at all, but she had it there for quite a while. "All of this is making my head hurt. I need a smoke." Arden walked towards the sitting room and it seemed like everyone followed so, so did I. I sat down on the couch between Kyndall and Arden. On the coffee table, there was a bunch of bags of weed and other drugs, and it seemed like everyone dropped the d-ck statue, Buddhism and Christianity subjects, and began preparing themselves joints. I just watched since I didn't really smoke and even if I did, I didn't know how to roll a joint.

"You know how I know Buddha isn't real," Anthony asked as he took a long hit from his joint. Everyone looked at him with interest. I didn't even need to smoke, I was getting high from all the smoke in the atmosphere. "I know that motherf-cker isn't real because the motherf-cker was one, fat as f-ck." I covered my mouth as I laughed out loud. What did his weight have to do with anything about his existence? Anthony sat up to sit on the edge of the couch and he looked as if he was going to tell us something really factual. "You see that motherf-cker was fat. In all the statues and stuff like that, he had chubby cheeks and a big ass belly. Not to mention, he was ugly as f-ck. Dude looked like a sitting pudding pop. I know he wasn't real because he had a hot ass wife. How could a motherf-cker so big, fat and ugly marry a bad bitch? That fool isn't real! That's how I know for a fact!" I really couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was laughing so hard that my sides were hurting. "Now, Jesus, dude didn't rock with any girls. Straight G. He did construction work, spread the gospel and died. And then he rose! If one of you motherf-ckers died right now and rose the f-ck up, no lie, I'd f-cking kill you again in a f-cking heartbeat. I don't f-ck with zombies!"

"So, Jesus is a zombie," Arden asked. "Wait, I'm confused. God is Morgan Free and Jesus is a zombie? Wow! I'm going to start going to church more!"

I chuckled and looked at Kyndall who was shaking her head. "Is it like this every night," I asked as I laughed a little bit.

"Right now, they're on their best behavior. You don't want to hear them argue about whether ass or boobs are better."

"Did somebody say ass," Arden asked as she looked up.

"Don't start this sh-t, man. Please, don't," Anthony said as he shook his head. Oh God. What did I just start?

"Don't start what? Don't state facts? Ass over t-tties any day," Arden clarified and she slammed her fist on the table for effect.

"I'm with Anthony, man. What's the point of dating a woman if her breasts aren't sitting right," Shane questioned Arden. He seemed offended that she valued a woman's ass over her breasts. "A woman that is flat-chested is just an no-no, if I wanted a flat-chested woman then I would f-ck a twelve-year-old."

"You just made yourself sound like one hell of a pedophile," Kyndall told Shane as she laughed a bit.

"Well, your sister is dating one," Shane said under his breath.

"Don't talk about Kylee," Kyndall warned the blond boy.

"You men are ridiculous," Justin said after taking a sip from his beer bottle. "Arden's right. It's all about the circumference of the ass. Boobs are attractive no matter what size, but the ass, the ass has to have a certain oomph," Justin explained as he used his hands as if to try to construct a perfect ass.

"That's my mate," Arden told Justin before giving him a high-five. "Anthony as a black man, you would think ass would be the main thing on your list."

"Yeah, but sometimes I like to f-cking cuddle and nothing is like a pillow of t-tties!"

"Nothing's like a pillow of ass!"

"I bet you eat ass too, you nasty motherf-cker. You use the butt cheeks as cushions while you touch the tip of your tongue with the booty hole, don't you?"

"Ay, mate! I ate your mother's last night!"

"Ay, mate! I ate a kangaroo's arse back in Melbourne. It was a crikey experience, mate. Yea, mate, I ate it's ass back in the outback with me other mate Justin, but he was bloody selfish with the roo's ass. Sh-te was all over his face, mate," Anthony said in his best Australian accent. Both Justin and Arden seemed hell of pissed off, but I couldn't stop laughing.

"Yo, look at me, my brutha, I'm black and I have a big d-ck. Black power. I get mad when white people kill blacks, but when blacks kill blacks then it's okay, yo. Oh! And n-word this and n-word that, wait, you're white you can't say the n-word even though I use it in every other sentence, you ignorant n-word," Arden mocked Anthony in return.

"Look at me, mate. I'm an Aussie rapper and I'm female. All the girls want to f-ck me because I look all bad but really I'm just a dumbass who doesn't value t-tties. Also, I appropriate black culture because my white culture is bland and sh-t just like our f-cking food!"

"Take that back! My mum makes the best pumpkin pie," Arden yelled as she stood up to her feet. "I'll fly her in from Melbourne right now so she can teach your mum how to cook something other than sh-t that'll give her whole family diabetes and high cholesterol."

Anthony stood up as well and crossed his arms. "Oh, so you want to go there!? Do you really want to go there, white bitch?! I don't think you want to go there because your mom fixed me breakfast last time I went to Australia. She can ride the sausage exceptionally, but she sure can't cook it!" Kyndall and I were falling all over each other from the nonstop laughter. If this was what happened every other night in Arden's household then I wasn't sure if I could deal. It was all too hilarious and cutthroat.

"Your mum's always yelling about how she hates crackers, but she eating this cracker last night!"

"Your mom sure loved sucking my dark chocolate until the cream came all over her face."

"Your mum role-played as my slave last night."

"Funny because just the other night, your mom roleplayed the slave's master's wife in bed but weirdly, I was the one smacking her with the whip. She likes it when I give her that deep stroke!"

"Okay, mate, but your mum is blacker than the toast I burned yesterday morning."

"Bitch, your mom whiter than Mr. Clean's t-shirt! Your mom so f-cking white, the Holy Ghost, yelled "Damn," when He sees her, motherf-cker. Your mom looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy, old cake face ass hoe! And don't get me started on how old your mom is. Your momma so old that her and Jesus got beef. Jesus got mad at her because she missed a spot when she was washing His feet, hoe! Bitch, your momma ghostwrited the Ten Commandments. Your mom had a T-Rex for a pet! If someone told your momma to act her age, that bitch would fall over and die and evaporate into the got damn mist! Don't f-ck with me, kid!"

Arden was literally broken and so was everyone else from laughing so hard. "Okay, you win," she kept saying but Anthony kept going and going. It looked like I was staying here way longer than I intended.

-

that roast session tho