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Had a very bad start to my morning, probably the worst-- my mom got very sick last night, seemingly out of nowhere because wasn't she just out and about a couple of weeks ago? Cracking jokes and chastising my ass?

What is this disease? How can you just be up one day and down the next?

I got no sleep, just stayed by her side all night trying to keep her fever down manageable and trying to steam the room to open up her air ways-- she was wheezing and could hardly breathe. Not only that, she had a runny tummy and walking her back and forth all night from the toilet outside was a feat I have done way too many times before.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Nebula got up before dawn and was bring fussy for some reason and I had to calm her down. And I had to get ready for work today and get her ready for daycare as well.

Mam'Noni got to my house late which made me late, can't even be mad because this is a huge favour she's doing us and under different circumstances I'd ask for time off work but it's only my second day... I have to make it at least a month.

I was late for work, late getting Nebula to daycare but of course the cherry on top was running into Mam'Pinky, Nebula's grandmother who had a choice of words for me this morning the first of which being her distate of the daycare I chose for my daughter and how her blood deserves much better.

Said blood was all too happy to see her and it was a fight trying to get her to part ways with her and say bye.

I had to cut the interaction short because she had the nerve to roll up on my mom yesterday morning while I was at work-- pissed me the fuck off but I had bigger things to worry.

But now there she was and this time trying to guilt me for not bringing Nebula to their house anymore, tried to make me seem like the asshole for not calling Lebone with updates on how his daughter who he dropped off in the middle of the night while I wasn't even home is doing.

But I got heated when she flipped her pinstraight wig over her shoulder and still looked down at me when she said, "I hope you're not leaving her alone at night with that mother of yours when you go out to the city to do... what you do.."

There was absolutely no doubt about what she meant and I was honestly not in the mood to entertain her but of course she had to take it up a notch because she then sneered at me--

And said, "And don't get comfortable Enhle, I saw how bad things have gotten and my lawyers are still in contact with the social worker. No grandchild of mine is going to live like that."

I lost my shit then, "What do you want?! Huh? Nebula was with you and you had a problem, now she's with me and I'm not bothering you anymore and you still have a problem!"

I didn't mean to engage but I'm on my last thread with the night I had. And definitely on my last one with this woman.

But I didn't expect her to say, "I want her to have never been born."

Just like that.

She told me she wished her granddaughter was never born.

My eyes started burning then and there but I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of bringing tears to my eyes.

When that dirty little girl who had a crush on Vivid said it a few days ago it didn't bother me but when it comes from the mouth of his own mother... I felt it in every single cell in my body.

Nobody wanted my baby-- Mam'Ntombi chewed me out when I told her I was pregnant, Vivid wasn't even there when she was born, even I was pissed at myself for getting pregnant.

Nobody was happy about her.

"Can you give me that?" She went on to sneer, "Can you give me my boy's life and future back?"

I was this close to smacking the living shit out of that woman but once again, my mom raised me better and I wasn't going to give her any more ammunition to use against me.

"Didn't think so," She got all smug again, "She's here now and there's nothing we can do about it. I love her and Lebone would die for her, as he should. But I'm his mother and I know the only right thing to do here is get her back with him and you away from them."

That's the real reason behind the whole rituals agenda-- to induct Nebula into their family, change her surname as so decreed by their ancestors and then go in for the kill by having me declared an unfit mother by the law.

I was late and couldn't stand to hear anymore shit from her so I ended the whole thing with a, "Not to be out cuntted here or anything but I'd like to take this opportunity to once again remind you all that anger of all your failures at being a mother is misdirected. You need to stop taking it your self hatred on me..."

I wasn't done, "The thought that your last born and only son had to take refuge between your best friend's thighs must really make you despise yourself... which by the way is clear indication that I wasn't the problem... and that the problem is you--"

"You don't--"

"Ah ah," I cut her off, "Angithi I gave you time to talk, uyamamela ke ngoku. I know it must be hard, if my one kid ended up like any of your three kids I'd wanna kill myself too," And I was being honest, "I mean look at both your daughters and look at me. It must really kill you that my poor mother, your ex best friend with her sickness and a husband who left her raised me. And that you with your education and money and a BMW raised a bunch of fuck ups, the laughing stocks of the whole community..."

I sighed smile when I was done and picked up my daughter, "That's not my fault. It's yours. You don't get to blame me and try to punish me for not turning out worse than them. It's on you, just like anything that happens to Nebula is on me. Now...."

I took a step closer, "I thought I made myself clear last time about you trying to take Nebula, don't tell me you thought I was joking--"

I did tell her she'd never see her if she ever tried to take her from me? Or was I dreaming?

I could see her face twitch in pure ire but still I went on, "And the next time you roll up on my mother, without me, without even a phone call to me... all this decorum, all this amicability I've been trying to maintain between us will be out the window and believe me when I say, I will burn your house to the fucking ground---"

I admit now that I lost it a bit.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I got to work, not only on how I could act like that infront of Nebula or how I could unleash like that on her grandmother but also how much more worse I wanted to say to that witch. I didn't know how much shit I was holding in when it comes to her until she told me that she wished my baby was never born.

What kind of a vile woman?

What kind of a piece of shit??

I wasn't happy that I got pregnant, could've had an abortion-- she definitely put it that option on the table and was even willing to pay for it but I refused, another thing she resents me for. But that wasn't her choice to make, it was mine.

I knew my life wasn't ideal to bring a child into, I knew it was only going to make it harder. I knew I wasn't inlove or in a romantic relationship with the other half of the child's DNA and that that was going to complicate things--

But never have I ever wished that my baby was not born. Never conceived sure, once upon a time I may have wished that. But never born...

Not even Mam'Ntombi who had drag her ailing body through that whole process with me, my mother who also had dreams and aspirations for me qnd broke her back night and day working as a seamstress and a maid to make those dreams happen.. not even she ever wished that Nebula was never born.

Her wishing Nebula was never born is irrefutable proof that this was never about Nebula, the woman just gets off on shitting on me plain and simple.

Nebula is an excuse, she just wants to hurt me. Or my mother. They have some complicated history but I know the fact that I dared go seek green pastures and wanted more than just to be her slave was something that pissed her off-- some people only feel good about themselves when they have someone else under their foot.

And then add on that I had to go and mess with her perfect golden boy son was just fuel to the fire.

I can't stop replaying that interaction over and over in my head, each time coming up with more creative things to say and places where I should've spoken up.

Clearly she thought I was joking when I said she'd never set eyes on Nebula again but now I swear I will burn her house to the ground.

"You're more quiet than usual." A voice says from somewhere in my peripheral.

"Are you okay?" It's Mr Sin, I forgot that he was here for a minute.

I forgot that we share a room but he's somewhere behind me since I've chosen to work at the mini board room table instead of having a desk temporarily brought in for me.

We came in around the same time and honestly I was too distracted to take stock of him after exchanging good mornings, I'd assumed that he'd leave and not come back like he did yesterday but seems like he's sticking around today.

"Imani," He says my name coolly.

"Yes?" I peer at him over my shoulder.

"I said, are you okay?" He asks again.

"Yeah," I nod and go back to my work.

I'm rifling through those files from his suite trying to make sense of them and get them in order but in order to complete this task I'd have to get access to the network.

I also need a programmer for what I have in mind and a forensic accountant definitely which I'd have to outsource. I only know that money went missing but I need someone with specific credentials to tell me where it went and how it came back, if it came back.

I doubt all this could've gone unnoticed by a mind like Mr Sin's so I know it's some elaborate shit that went down, this is a web.

Said Mr Sin seemingly just materialises next to me, catching me off guard before pulling a chair out and taking a seat dangerously close to me.

I became hyper aware of his presence now, completely overpowered by it.

"What's going on?" He asks gently.

I can hear him breathe which means he is way too close--

So I lean back to some distance between me and his intoxicating warmth. My defences have lowered some today, I'm too tired to fight him.. or fight against him.

But those molten honey eyes peering at me from under those black, long lashes...

"Nothing, I'm just stressed about work," I decide to go with that because there's hell no way that I'm bearing my soul to him.

He shakes his a little making those black curls bounce with the movement, "You're lying. It's only your second day and you didn't take the laptop home or.. this jumbled mess of papers on the table so I know you're not worried about work."

I actually am worried about work but, "I'm not carrying around a MacBook Pro."

Besides the fact anything can happen between here and home, not even home is safe-- you never know your day of unlucky on these streets, and my brother could stop by at any and as history has proven you never what he'll do.

I could never afford to replace this laptop.

I notice that he's wearing a dark brown suit, black shirt open at the collar with no tie. A very fashionable shift from his usual black slacks and white shirt, I wonder what brought it on. The 5 O'clock shadow goes all the down his chin to the beginnings of his neck.

"There are millions of these things in the world--"

"But I can't afford to replace it should I get mugged again."

His signature frown is back, "You think I'd ask you replace it if it got stolen?"

I shrug a little, "I don't want to take that chance."

He nods and licks his lips, a deliberate movement to distract me for a few second. I can even tell the smug, knowing smile in his eyes as he leans back in his chair.

"Okay," He says questioningly, "Is it the rapper then?" He catches me off guard with one.

How does he even remember Juice? I've pretty much forgotten about him, and I'm pretty sure he's forgotten about me since he hasn't even tried to text and neither have I for that matter--

Literally the last time I saw him was at the club when this one was being messy.

"No," I answer him with some mirth, "It's not Juice, I haven't talked to him since you kidnapped me. "

"Then whatever it was that had freaked out all night afterwards? Still never told me what that was all about..."

The mirth zaps right out of my features when I land my now annoyed eyes on him, he's got a little too close to the truth and I don't even want him of all people to see my scars.

"Well, you never exactly tell me the truth either," I accuse.

He nods again, "Fair point. I'll let it go then.."

Thank you.

"There's something else I wanted to ask," He goes on in a somber tone, "That thing... yesterday with your friend, Rea is it? Does it have anything to do with Zayn?"

I did not expect that and now I'm the one frowning, "No, why? What happened?"

"Just asking."

Uuhh...

I'm even more confused, "Why are you just asking?"

"Just curious," He's clearly not going to answer me.

So I go for, "But if something did happen, you'd tell me right?"

"No."

What?

"What do you mean no?"

He smiles at my confusion, "I mean no, I will not tell you. It'd be unprofessional..." But his little dumb smirk says something completely different.

Unprofessional he says?

Alright.

I bite my lower lip in anticipation for this little nugget of thought that's beating at the back of mind since I met him. His eyes drop to the action as well, not that I take notice but when they come back to meet mine they're somehow darker than before.

"Can I also ask you something?" I just need to know.

"Shoot," He clears his throat a bit and shifts to get comfortable in the chair.

"It's a little unprofessional," I'm not even sure I want the answer.

He smiles a little, "Then ask at your own risk."

I hesitate for a few seconds and just look at his face, this could go either way and I'm not sure I can handle the other way I could go after the morning I've had.

But he seems to be in those sporadic high moods of his so this is the only time I'll probably get an answer without being feeling ridiculous.

"When we first met," I watch his eyebrows lift a little, "Did you really think I was a hooker?"

His black eyebrows lower into a furrowed look for a few seconds, "Yes and no..."

Okay...

"This is the part where you explain..." I can't believe I have to tell him that.

He takes a second, "Well, you were in my home and I didn't know you, and I found you laughing with my brother wearing that... uniform that seemed like you were dressing up in a costume to role play some sick shit..."

I'm sorry, what? I can't help but laugh at that last part.

He laughs a little too, "You clearly don't know how you look in that thing. But on the other hand, before I even opened my mouth to chew out Zayn for hiring a hooker, something in your eyes already told me that you were far from one. And if you were, you were definitely not one to dress up as a maid..."

I can't help but smile now, "And what was the verdict?"

He takes a breath and leans closer again, doing that thing with his eyes that I can't stand, "That no, you were not a prostitute but there's no way you were just a cleaner either especially when I found out who hired you--"

"Brie just wanted you actually"

"Yeah but her father wants my money, and I wouldn't put anything past anyone who would pimp out their daughter for more money and power..."

He's told me this before at some point but I think I'm only now starting to see things from his point of view.

"And you say you never slept with her?" I mean he threatened me when I joked about it yesterday.

"No Imani, I did not sleep with Brie," His tone and eyes are very serious now, "I got dangerously close one time, I'll admit but you and Zayn walked in..."

Me and Zayn??

"Wait, that morning when I found you guys half naked in your kitchen?"

"Yeah but I was very drunk and..."

He didn't look even remotely drunk to me.

"At that time in the morning?" I swear he didn't even look like he had anything to drink."

"Your friend chugged beers at eight in the morning infront of my office yesterday and you're judging me?" He sounds surprisingly offended.

"Oh I judged her too..."

He doesn't respond again for a few seconds which seems to be his signature but what I don't expect is for him to push his chair closer to mine and lean all way into my personal space. And if I thought his eyes were molten and smoldering, they're nothing compared to goosebump inducing look he's giving me now..

"So tell me..." That look in his eyes now... the heat, the intensity.

Shit.

"Why do you keep bring it up so much huh?" His voice is lower, for my ears only even though it's just us in here, "Why do you care?"

He got me there because really...why the hell do I care??

"And who says I--"

"Say my name," He cuts me off.

My insides instantly tremble at the command.

"Just once..." His mouth may be pleading but his eyes are demanding.

I've subconsciously leaned closer as well, I only notice when I purse my lips in pure defiance that his breathe is lightly fanning onto them.

How and when did we get this close?

I can see every hair on his beard, every lash, every golden speck in his eyes. I can feel the warmth emanating from his big body.

"Why do you care so much?" I challenge instead.

How did we even get here? What were we talking about that lead to this?

"I just want to hear how you say it. Just once."

This should be weird, it should be awkward but it's not. It never was even the first time he did this-- he was tipsy and heart achingly beautiful with his playful shiny eyes and dimples.

Now his eyes hold a different meaning. He's not drunk, I think... he's still heart achingly beautiful.

"Am I interrupting something?" Another man's voice rudely crushes in on the scene.

We don't flinch, don't look--I don't have any control over my form at this point. I'm just a mouse trapped in a snake's glare so even I wanted to break the eye contact, I can't. I can't move until he lets me go.

"No, come on in," His voice is louder but he doesn't move either, doesn't shift, doesn't even look, "Come meet Ms Olifant, our new analyst..."

I watch his eyes change right before my own, I watch as some sort of mask falls over his face and it scares me how he instantly seems like a whole different person--

That fleeting good mood of his? Gone. Teasing gleam in his eyes? Gone. Playful smirk on his lips? Vanished.

His face seems set in stone now, eyes dark and cold... if I hadn't met him when he was like this that first day, and only had the past few encounters to go off of--

I would not recognize him.

And I still don't look away, and neither does he... even he pushes his chair and slowly stands up to that majestic height of his.

"Ms Olifant," The way he says it now sounds like a secret only we know, "This is our chief of finance, Markos..."