___________________________________________

You can hear a pin drop with the tense silence in this car, even worse you can hear every shift in the octave of Rea's voice--

Every crack, every breath, every effort to not let tears roll down her face.

They slept over at my house this weekend and then insisted on driving me to my first day of work because I apparently needed a pep talk...

That pep talk was interrupted by a phone call from Rea's little sister, and since this is Rea's car and she's driving... well we are witnesses to a very painful phone call.

You can hear the teenage girl try stop her sobs on the other end of the line as she begs her older sister to come home and we know how it must be breaking Rea's heart.

"You promised--" A soft, forlorn voice sings through the speakers.

Rea promised to go back for her when she got settled here... that was five years ago.

But today they're talking about her upcoming birthday bash, she's turning the same age as Rea was when she left home.

Rea swallows heavily and I can see her long lashes fluttering away the tears pooling in her eyes, "I know and I will do my best."

Silence for a few seconds..

"You always say that..."

My heart clenches for them.

Rea throws her head back and bites her lower lip hard, "I don't mean for things to be like this Kemo--"

"Bo mama said it's okay, I talked to them Sis Rea," Her voice trembles a bit, "Can't you just make it for one night?"

The most I know about Rea is that she wanted to go to college and her family wanted her to get married straight out of high school, and she defied them. She has bigger balls than all of us, that's for sure.

Now she works three jobs, one of which she recently lost to send her little sister money back home.

She says she doesn't want her little sister to be entirely dependent on her parents because they will manipulate and use her to further their own agenda-- they're not exactly royalty, rather royalty adjecent, always just a hair breadth away so there's always an agenda to tip the scales to give them power.

She also doesn't want her little sister to fall into the usual township girls trap of getting involved with older men who promise to take care of them financially-- there's an irony in there somewhere.

But money clearly doesn't fill void she left in her younger sister's life.

"Kemo, listen I will try--" Rea carries on.

"It's okay," Her little sister cuts her off abruptly, then a little sniffle, "I have to go, dad's calling. Love you."

She hangs up before Rea can say anything back, we're lucky to be at the robot because clearly she needs a moment before she can move.

Her big hazel eyes drip with tears as her face screws up in a heartbreaking expression I have ever seen on her face--

She lives for that little girl, we all know all that. She doesn't talk about her much these days but when she got here, when I first got to know her she was all she talked. How smart and funny, and beautiful she is, how she deserves much better than what her parents have in store for her and how she'd do everything to make sure that doesn't happen.

She had a plan when she got here-- go to school, get a job and get her out.

I'm not going to judge her on the progress of that plan, I'm not doing any better with my shit show of a life.

And I don't think she needs words right now so I just gently cup her elbow and Zo's hand goes to her shoulder from the back seat. I'm a big sister too, there's nothing to say in such situations. It is what it is and we first borns are automatically deputy parents just have to deal.

The Let Me Blow Ya Mind beat we were loudly singing to before refills the car and EVE is met with absolute silence from us.

I know we all support her and want to comfort her, we don't know how to really. This is her domain, she's always the one with the hugs and the right words at the right time, the right jokes with the perfect comedic timing.

The rest of us are too self-involved to really know how to be there for some-- Zo is the protector but she always wants to fight and there's no one to fight in this situation. Mariska will do anything you ask and need at the drop of a hat even to her own peril and she's lucky Rea is not really the one to take advantage of her friends. And Nandi... well, she never really does anything exceptlettingyou know that she's here if you do need her.

None of us are of us any use to Rea right now and it's not fair.

"Hey Rea, look--" Nandi tries some words.

But the light's turned green and Rea throws her BMW into drive, and sets off getting me to work.

Nandi doesn't try again and we just resign to giving Rea a moment to collect herself.

We are awful friends, we don't deserve her.

"Is there a drink back there?" She finally speaks up in a voice thick with tears.

"It's eight in the morning," Nandi decides to point out in judgy tone I can't stand.

"Not at all what I asked," Rea responds, "Anyone?"

"In the cooler box in the boot," Zo responds, "I'll get you one when we stop."

She sighs and mumbles, "Good," under her breath. She's going to drink all day and possibly all week long, and I just pray that that's all that she does.

This wasn't how today was supposed to go, not after the nice weekend at my home we just had.

They came over unannounced and uninvited to throw me a mini-farewell party since I won't be seeing them much anymore.

They brought drinks, they brought food, unconditional support and a brand new outfit I couldn't be more grateful for having to face the Ambers first this morning after the commotion I caused last week Friday.

They did my hair, skin treatments to help me relax and look my best for today because I apparently looked like shit surviving on minimal sleep and virtually no food navigating my sick mom and my two year old.

My mother's only getting sicker, my baby's only getting bigger and I'm just getting busier. Side note, still haven't heard word from Vivid and his family after he dropped off Nebula in the middle of the night. And these are people who harassed my family claiming to care more for her well-being more than us.

I'm not going to bother either, I'm going to take Mam'Ntombi's advice of grabbing her and running for my life.

I'm not falling for any more of their power plays.

And even though I hate leaving my mom when she's this sick, I know I don't have a choice this time. I can't run back to them. I need to break the cycle for my and Nebula's sake.

I got her into a preschool over the weekend, Mam'Noni has promised to come check on my mom every day and I am going to do everything in power to save our lives.

"We're here..." Rea announces with a sigh.

I look through my window and yup...

"Okay, look," Rea leans closer, her voice back to soft fragility, "This job up there... the reality is you need it more, you need the money more than you need an apology from them, more than you need them to like you--"

I roll my eyes, "I don't need them to like--"

"Not them, him," Zo chimes in from the back seat.

"I don't know what any of you heifers are talking about."

"That's good," Rea says, "Denial. Use that. Keep denying your feelings for hi. of shit until they're gone."

For the record, I do not have any feelings for Mr Sin. Not counting the burning contempt that I have for this condescending ass.

"Or you guys could just fuck and get it out of your systems?" Zodwa pokes.

"Get what out of our systems?" I mean mug her, "And believe me when I say I'd rather eat elephant shit."

"Bullshit," Rea chimes in, "Even Zayn says the sexual tension will get to you guys eventually."

"What sexual tension? There's zero sexual tension between me and that man," I spit, steadily getting annoyed with them.

"We all saw how that man grabbed you and looked at you at the club the other night," Zodwa claims.

That was just to prove some stupid theory to his friends, not because he likes me or is attracted to me or some ridiculous shit like that.

"Besides the guy gave you a job you don't even deserve. What more do you want?" Mariska decides that's how she's going jump into the conversation.

"Are you ready though? Mentally?" Zodwa asks before I can shit on Mariska.

"Yeah, the job I can do. You guys just don't understand how annoying he is and how I'd hoped to never see him again," I whine.

"We understand that you're hot for boss," Nandi butts in.

I frown at her, she should know better, "The man thinks Brie got me a job at his suite so I could seduce him and extort."

"Why would Brie do that? Isn't she the one sobbing about his dick? " Rea asks and I shrug my response, "Though I don't blame the poor guy."

"Excuse you heifer, my side--that's where you're all supposed to be,"Now I am boiling with irritation,"And care to tell me why you and Zayn are calling each other?"

"Oh, they've been hanging out," Zo is the one who answers with a small laugh, "A lot."

"Why are you laughing?" I narrow my eyes at her.

She doesn't say anything verbally but darts her eyes between Nandi and Mariska, whom she's currently seated in between.

What is going on?

How did this not come up during the weekend shenanigans?

"Ever since that party at the club that you made us go to then ditched us with her," Mariska says, "They haven't been separated since, she basically lives there."

My eyebrows go all the up, not at Mariska and her little bitter tone but because I didn't know this and it gives me an opportunity to get an answer for something that's been nagging me since.

"Yeah? So you guys are friends now?" I address Rea.

"You could say that," Again Zo with a little laugh.

"Stop," Rea admonishes her.

"Did he ever tell you if Mr Sin got his car back?" I ignore Zo and ask her pointedly, "And what happened to it?"

She immediately pipes up, "Yeah, he didn't tell you? They caught the guys, they didn't have it for an hour."

Could they not recover my handbag as well?

"How do you know this and I don't? Did they call the police?" I haven't been hit up for a statement or anything and Mr Sin brushed it off when I brought it up the other day.

"No, Zayn said it's nothing and they'll deal with them themselves."

Personal justice? Really?

"Wait, what? What's going on?" Nandi hates being out of the loop.

"Nothing," I say.

"Imani got mugged," Rea decides to say instead.

"Heee?!" Nandi is shook.

Rea rattles on, "Yeah, her boss... the one she's been talking shit is the one who found her and helped her."

Mariska clearly disapproves, "You're a bitch for that."

I give her the finger.

"And get this, he gave up his fucking McLaren to save her," Rea is the bitch here.

She knows how they'll fuss and Nandi will make a big deal about how I didn't tell her because she needs to know every aspect of my life.

"How do you even know all this? Did you spend the whole night with Zayn?" I might be a little annoyed.

"You mean like you spent the night with your boss after you left your date high and dry?" Mariska chimes in.

Why is this one getting on my nerves today?

"We gonna have a talk about that " Rea rides for Juice, "Clearly you forgot what I said about messing with Juice--"

"I didn't mess with him--"

"Yeah, well it's a conversation for when these hoes are gone."

"Why? You ditched us too?" Zodwa scowls.

"It was an emergency," Rea rolls her eyes like she's tired of saying this over and over again.

Nandi jumps in as well, "And that doesn't warrant a text at the very least?"

Rea and I share look, we know what we did was fucked up but honestly I had bigger problems that night.

"That's what I thought," Mariska punctuates.

"You stay out of this, you showed up late with your man," Zodwa puts her hand up to shut her up.

Mariska seems afronted, "I told Imani I was bringing Karabo."

"But did you tell Rea?" Nandi is the one that asks.

A very tense silence falls on us for a few moments.

Rea opens her door and gets out, "I don't need her to tell me anything, it doesn't matter. I'm going to put these away for you..."

"Rea..." Mariska opens her door too.

"Leave her, she's not mad at you," Zodwa gently pulls Mariska back into the car, "And we should be leaving anyway. Imani, you'll..?"

I nod my assent. After what Rea told me happened between them, of course I'll check on her about it.

But when I get back there she's rather chug a beer than talk to me.

And this looks bad, people in suits and pencil skirts are passing by and giving her looks-- one of them being the guy who works reception as if I won't have enough gossip following me around today.

"You okay?" I still ask her.

She shakes her head and lowers her beer, "I can't deal with... all that today."

"Then don't, drop them off. Let them call an Uber," I know it's just the beginning of the bullshit but we can try to watch how we talk to one another.

She shakes her head again and takes another sip from the green bottle, "No, no. I'll be fine but you should go in. You're going to be late."

"I'm actually early, I clock in at nine."

"That's great, it'll give you time to get Nene to crèche in the mornings."

"Yeah and I can't pick her up, I get off at five."

She makes a face and sheesh sound, "That's gonna suck. I didn't even get off that late."

I shrug, "Small price to pay."

"Yeah," She sighs and pulls me in for a hug, "You're going to do great by the way, you're the smartest person I know. There's nothing you can't do babe."

Not so sure about that, I can't remember half the shit I learned in college. I had to go hunt down my old college papers since I sold the textbooks a long time ago, a desperate act which I now definitely regret.

"Thank you. You'll call me if you need me?"

She lent me her old phone again and again, I don't deserve her. We don't deserve her.

She nods and gets in car with three beers clutched in her hands.

I wave them goodbye as she drives off and steel my nerves to face what is probably the scariest thing I'm about to do besides raising a whole hunan.

My stomach starts to turn and knot in ways that make my heart beat even faster out of fear that I might just pass the fuck out.

I know I'm unexperienced and unqualified for this task, I don't even know where I'm going to begin on this thing.

I know what scares me the most is finally being this close to everything I've ever wanted, being this close too finally really helping my family out--

Just to lose it all.

Again.

And I can't afford to this time.

Nonetheless, I take my feet up the stairs in the black red bottoms that Zo gifted me this weekend claiming her boyfriend got her the wrong size.

They also got me a red pencil skirt, a red see-through blouse which I paired with a nude tank top underneath. Can't be showing my underwear at work.

My hair is slicked back with the big... what did Mr Sin call it? Poof? Well, it's tied at the back of my head and I have little gold hoop earrings on.

I look afuckingmazing if I do so myself. If I don't, then the heads turning as I make it through the glass doors do the telling for me.

I walk up to the reception desk with the ever diligent Ambers busy setting up for day. They see me and I can practically see their eyes internally roll.

How they feel about me is not my problem though, we don't have to be friends, we just have to work together.

"Morning," I say as I come up to the desk, "I was told to pick up my pass here this morning..."

"A visitor's pass?" Amber asks, "I will need to sign in--"

"No, an employee pass."

I watch them pause in shock and confusion.

I'm not in the mood, not after the morning I've had.

"Uh, we have the list of all new employees and unfortunately you're not on it?" Amber's coworker, Ella poses it as a question.

I don't know what to tell them.

Was Mr Sin just fucking with me for shits and giggles?

I wouldn't put it past him. He really does seem like that kind of mean person.

"She wouldn't be," A familiar voice joins the conversation,"She's on as an independent contractor."

"Uh, we apologize Mr Sin," The Ambers mumble nervously.

And I turn just to come face to face with, "Zayn Sin," I all but squeal his name and pull him in for a hug.

I haven't seen him in forever and am I glad that he's here for my first day with these assholes.

"Imani Olifant," He steps back after the hug and gives me a look over, "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes? You look perfect."

"I'm a sight for all eyes Mr Sin," I act all offended and try to not dwell on how wrong it feels to call him Mr Sin.

Not gonna lie, when the Ambers said Mr Sin my mind went to one person and my heart dropped to my hollow stomach.

"Let me walk you up, I'm guessing you need some moral support today," He says while taking the pass from Ella for me, "And a double espresso stat."

"And why do I need a double espresso?" I trot after him to the elevators.

"Becuase it's a crazy day here today and you're thrown right into the mix of it," Zayn explains, "You should be lucky that you're not in PR or else a double espresso will not be enough."

Oh yeah, there was supposed to be new CEO and s/he was supposed to come on with this big announcement of trading the company publicly soon which would've been huge but none of that happened so the business pages are asking hella questions about what went wrong.

The PR department have to come with solid statements filled with excuses because even they don't really know the real reason.

Which is where I come in-- the executives may know the reason which they're not prepared to share with anyone else but I have been tasked with finding the root and extent of that reason.

Zayn and I catch up as we ride up the elevator, and I have a million questions to ask about Rea and him... none of which I ask because I'm too busy trying to think of how I'm going get through this day.

There'll be plenty of time for him to tell me exactly what this interest is that he has in my friend-- I also didn't miss that look when he saw her for the first time at the club.

We get to the top of floor and instead of walking with me, Zayn the slime ball decides to abandon me with some silly laugh I can't stand claiming that he has a mountain of work that he needs to get on as soon as possible.

I'm going to kick his ass the second I see him again, I swear. Why does he always do this?

But I'm not going to sweat or overthink. I'm Imani fucking Olifant for fuck's sake, I'm not phased by nothing.

I walk up to his swarm of secretaries, one of which is the blonde I pushed out of the way at the reception on the day of interviews.

She's definitely going to recognise me, I know I made an impression.

"Good morning, my name is Clarissa. How may I help you?" She asks with a little attitude and honestly she should let bygones be bygones; she clearly got the position and I didn't.

"Hi, yeah I'm here to see Mr Sin..."

"He's in an important meeting right now. Do you have an appointment?"

Do I have an appointment?