no one talked about why my brothers left. Awkwardness and silence filled the house. It was killing me. I still didn't know why they exactly left. No one talked to eachother in the house. It was deafening, the silence was deafening.

It was past midnight and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking. I could feel the lump in my throat threatening to sob at any moment. I needed fresh air. But more than that, I needed answers.

I peaked out of the window of my room. No one. It was so peaceful outside. So dreadful in my inside. I was so use to of having Lucky sleep in my bed all these weeks, it was hard to believe we were now living apart.

I missed her, so much.

I missed my brothers, so much.

I heard a knock on my door and then the door creaked open. Dad stood behind my doorframe with a blank facial expression.

"Dad?" I asked quietly.

"Hm..." He hummed and came in. He silently sat on my bed beside me. He was in deep thoughts, looking at his feet.

"Couldn't sleep too?" I asked him.

He shook his head.

"Dad?"

"Hm.."

"Why did they left?" I came straight to the point. I didn't know from where the carriage came from in me to ask that.

He looked at me, his face showing me again a mixed expression. Hurt, guilt and anger were exposed by his eyes.

"They- We.. it was-" dad stuttered in defeat.

I placed a hand on his shoulder, "just let it out papa,"

He sighed heavily, "I-I lost"

I frowned, "what? What do you mean?"

"Well.." he let out a low defeating laugh. "I'm so lost. I'm so lost,"

I was so confused. He was being so difficult.

"Your mom is right, I broke this family apart," he continued.

I frowned.

What?

"I'm wondering why you haven't still asked me why they left in the first place,"

"I-" I started, "I always wanted to know but- I don't know. I never asked," I said disappointed in myself.

Dad nodded, "it's my stupid desire for my sons to follow my lead of becoming an engineer,"

"An engineer?"

"An engineer.." he confirmed nodding his head once.

"It started with Venky," he explained. "I told him to become an engineer,"

"And?" I asked curious.

"And .... and he denied. He wanted to do something else but engineering,"

"Why did you want him to become that? And why did you kick him out then?" I asked, confused as hell.

Dad looked at me and sighed. He took my hands him his large ones. Mine completely disappearing in his.

"I didn't kick him out because he denied to become an engineer..."

Here I was, still in utter confusion.

"I kicked him out because my- my,"

"Your what?" I asked, desperate of an answer.

"Because his ego was hurt,"

A voice said.

We looked back at the door, mum stood there with sternness in her eyes. She came towards us and sat on the chair in front of us.

Dad scoffed, "don't say that,"

"Why?" Mum sounded confident.

"I was talking to my daughter Trisha, why'd you interrupt,"

"Because," Mum said, "because I'm suppose to be there too when she knows the truth. Because I'm the mom of the people you're going to talk about,"

"Fine," dad growled and took his hands away from mine.

I looked at both of them worriedly "mum, dad stop fighting amongst yourselves and just say it already"

Dad huffed and looked at me angered "I kicked Venky out because his passion for doing something else was Bugging me. I hated seeing him do something else when I clearly told him to do engeneering," dad voice became hard, stern and emotionless. It ached my feelings.

"What?" I whispered.

Parents are supposed to support their kids to whatever thet want to. They're suppose to comfort them not hate them. It was so selfish of him to do that to his own son. Infact his oldest son.

"Yes!" dad growled, his eye full of rage and distress. "did you hear me? Did you hear how selfish your father is?" He shouted. "you hate me? YOU HATE ME NOW?" he screamed on my face.

I backed away from him, scared and feared. Dad's anger and guilt was taking over him.

Mum pushed him away from me, "are you out of your god damn mind David. She's scared, can't you see. You're so heartless," Mum then screamed too. "GET OUT!"

He looked at me then at mum and stormed out of my room.

"Mumma..." I cried, tears dripping from my eyes.

Mum sighed and hugged me tightly. "It's okay, don't cry. He's just in a mood of his," she said and parted. She cupped my face in her hands and gave a smoochy kiss on my forehead and then wiped my tears away.

"Shh, quite now," she said and I was still quietly sobbing.

I calmed myself down and took deep breaths.

"There we go, my little princess," Mum cood me.

When I was finally calm, I started it over again. "a-and why did the others left?"

"Robbie and Rayan wanted to do their career in architecture and your dad started bugging them by not supporting them mentally and financially,"

My mouth flew open. That was horrible. How could someone do that to their own blood, for their selfish needs. It was embarrassing and frustrating.

"-and about Ishan. He wanted to do photography but David said that it cannot fill his stomach in future. That it cannot give him enough money to survive. With the lack of support, he too left,"

"Ma...." I trailed off.

"What?" She asked

"W-Why didn't you stop dad from doing this to them?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

I was annoyed. Why didn't she stop dad from doing that.

"I-I tried to stop them from leaving but they didn't listen to me. Your dad didn't listen to me either,"

At this point, mum was emotional too. She too was on the verge of crying.

"Okay..." I whispered quitly.

"You're father is regretting everything he had done till date. But his ego stops him from apologizing, from taking the initiative. He's dying from inside for doing this to his family but he's a coward to confess. I don't know if he'll ever confess either. It's on our fate now,"

Mum's words stressed me even more. It was torturing, listening your family tour apart. It was heartbreaking.

"I hope you've got your answers,"

I nodded. Disappointed.

With that mum left my room.

I sat on my bed.

Thinking. overthinking.

Assuming and imagining.

I wanted to hate my father but I failed to do so. I don't know if it was the pride in me or the love for him.

I just sat there with my knees near to my chest and my head slammed back at the wall. Tears of frustration and disappointment streaming down my face.I cursed myself because I was a failure. I failed to be a good sister. I failed to be a good daughter. Failure and useless is want I felt.

Another thought came to my mind. Of leave this place and living with venket like how my other brothers did.

But...

My dad's words for my brothers rang into my mind.

"You barged into my house,"

"Strangers,"

"Unwanted,"

"I hate you,"

"Leave us."

I didn't want my father to think about me in the same way. If I leave, I'll lose my family. I'll lose my parents which I couldn't even think about.

I needed someone to comfort me. But here I was, alone. I wrapped myself into my blanket and cried myself to sleep.

Still, in a hope of a miracle somehow.

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