[Skylar]

*~*~*

What you don't understand is I'll catch a grenade for you

Throw my head on a blade for you

I'll jump in front of a train for you

You know I'll do anything for you

Oh oh, I would go through all this pain

Take a bullet straight through my brain

Yes, I would die for you baby

But you won't do the same...

-- Grenade, Bruno Mars

*~*~*

It's been snowing like crazy ever since New Years day, I'm not joking when I say the snow on my walk from home to school almost covers my whole shoe. Granted I have tiny feet, but still, it's amazing how my shoe gets drowned in snow. Lucky that dad had bought me waterproof boots for Christmas, or else I would be frostbitten and all my little toes will freeze over. I like my little toes very much.

Today is going to be amazing though, my class is collaborating with the one next to us. I remember quite of a lot the kids have friends in that class so it will be nice to see them play with someone they know well. I always feel bad at the beginning of a year when kids don't know each other and they all stay really quiet.

I carry myself into the yard of the school, obviously covered in snow as well. It looks like fluffy clouds of diabetes... where did that come from? I wonder if I jumped in it if the snow will break my fall. Probably, definitely, not. I tried once and bruised my tailbone. Felix had to piggyback me home that day. At least I got a cup of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, Felix doesn't admit it, but he loves hot chocolate.

"Morning Skylar." Came a friendly voice, it's the lady at the front desk, Clara, she's the receptionist and librarian, very nice lady. Her husband is a baker, how cool is that?

"Morning Clara!" She smiles warmly as I take my scarf off and shaking off any snow that has taken refuge on my clothes and shoes. On the way to the staff room I greet more people, it's been almost a week since New Years but I still haven't seen all the teachers around, probably because my dad takes me out of work the instant I am done. I'm not complaining though, he's been shopping for his new town house that I have yet to see since it is being decorated right now.

This morning Felix has to drive his way over to a 'place' that is apparently 'top secret', something about Roman's business and not being allowed to say anything. Such a tease, I'm sure Ryland knows all about it. The spot is a bit further than normal so he wouldn't be able to get there in time if he drove me to work beforehand, so I had to walk here. Not a big deal though, the morning walk definitely woke me up a lot. Though, my lungs are burning quite a bit, I don't like it when the air tickles my airways, it feels strange.

"Hey Skylar." Mr. Bailey greets, his last name sounds like he's 5 millenniums old but he's only 30. And he has a cool first name, Alexander. So awesome. He's the one that I'm going to be collaborating today, he's always nice to me which makes my life easier, I know there are people that don't like me in this school. Especially some of the parents, they don't like Felix around, and by extension they don't like me.

Not our fault that Felix is awesome and he is nice enough to help out.

"Morning, Morning!" I cough while smiling, picking up the candy that I always have on my desk. There's a whole basket full, but I don't feel like there's enough variety. Everyone else thinks I am going to bribe children with these, but I just like candy, so do kids. It's probably really bad that I'm spending so much on candy, but as long as they are happy. I am too.

"Need help with those? Here, let me." Alexander is a football coach in the high school section of this school, which explains his tough physique. He also recently got engaged which is very exciting, I even got the invite to his wedding in a month or two. "Excited today?"

"Of course! I've planned out many fun things to do, there's this online quiz thing that the kids can all play, super interactive and stuff too." I turn around to grab my laptop before catching up to Alexander, who now has about 16 other things he's carrying. I insist on helping but he doesn't let me. Who declines help? So strange. I gulp and my throat burns.

A yawn escapes me, and I immediately cough afterwards. I have to admit, I have been feeling under the weather lately, I'm not used to sleeping at 2 am, but Dad always wants me to watch shows with him, and apparently everyone in the apartment agrees so I can't really say no.

"You alright there? I'll go grab you water, hang on." Alexander quickly places down the stuff he's carrying on the floor of his classroom and grabs a chair for me to sit before rushing over to the water machine and handing me a cup of water. His eyebrows still furrowed. "You've been quite faint the whole week, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine..." Not very convinced myself, there's been a stinging throb in my lungs for a while, but I've always been bad with cold weathers like this. Especially when it's snowing all the time and no sun is showing.

"Alright, I'll do most of the talking today. I don't want you overworking yourself there, alright?" Alexander proves to be an amazing person, very kind and enthusiastic throughout class taking care of basically everything because I'm feeling worse by the second, my breathing gradually gets more and more labored within the first hour of class. How embarrassing.

~

Age 20

"Here you go! Homemade chicken soup, taught by the ever trusty google." I extend the bowl in front of Felix, who has a red face and tired look eyes. He's been sick for the past 3 days, which means he's getting a reaction to the vaccination we go but he didn't bother telling me because I had an exam just this morning. He even went as far as to pick me up and drop me off even though he is falling apart.

"Thank you Cookie..." He croaks. I frown, he doesn't sound so good. "How did your exam go?"

He is laying on the bottom bunk this time. I know my bunk has a softer mattress, Felix bought it for me as a gift for Christmas two years ago. He spent so much money on it, and now I am in a committed relationship with it. She even has a name, Sam.

"Don't think about that for now. But I think I did well." I shrug, rolling my sleeves up to my elbows and dragging the washcloth through the small bowl of cold water. "Oh, I also got a raise from Samson yesterday night." Samson is the old man that manages the small floral shop with his wife, they hired me a couple months ago. Such nice people.

"He better. I'd be pissed if he doesn't treat you right." Felix sneezes, dropping the washcloth on his forehead onto his naked torso. "God damn this cold is a piece of shit." He groans and I smile at him. His eyes wander to his phone, taking a glance at the time. "Fuck I have work now."

He stands up, the thin sheets sliding down his naked body, not that I mind, and it's doing him good, letting the heat go. I jump and cling onto his front. "No no! Don't go to work, you are sick Felix..." I push him down back onto the bed, my arms slide under his arms and around his burning body.

"The money doesn't make itself Cookie..." He sighs, he hand pats the back of my head. "Come on, let go. It's just a fever, I've had worse."

"No!" I cling onto him harder.

It's been ages since Felix and I had time to even sit and have proper dinner. I thought that him being sick would give us the time to hang out for a little while. Even if it is a couple hours before he goes back to bed, I don't mind. He always takes care of me when I am sick, and now it's my turn. He never lets me go to school or work, so I wouldn't want him to either. "Alright, alright. I'll call in sick today. I'll just go in tomorrow if I'm better."

He lays down on the bed again, arms behind his head, giving me a clear view of the scar that runs from his armpit down to his last rib. "Thank you..." I snuggle into his side. I know this isn't doing good for his fever, in fact it might make him warmer. But I just want to cuddle.

Felix smiles at me sleepily, opening his arms and wiggling his fingers. "C'mere mate." He mocks his own accent. It's kind of funny since he doesn't need to try to have an Australian accent.

One day. One day we will have good paying jobs, and we will travel to Sydney.

I've seen photos of the Opera House, and the big bridge. I want to go there, back to where Felix came from.

I lay on top of Felix, carrying some of my own weight with my elbows. My head lays against his chest, even without that fancy thing the doctors use to listen to people's breathing, I can tell he has a lot of gunk in there. "You're really sick Felix."

"No I'm just fine Cookie. Don't worry." he strokes my hair. Even in these circumstances he still manages to be Felix. "How about we go skating when I get better?"

"I just want to cuddle like we used to." I bury my face where his neck and shoulder meet. "We don't have time at all..."

Felix gives me a gentle pat on the back, "Let's do that then."

"But you're sick Felix..." I push off, but he pulls me back in.

He raises an eyebrow, "And?" He reaches for the laptop and starts browsing for something to watch. "That hasn't stopped me from not wearing anything in the apartment. It's not going to stop me from smothering you to death." He has a point.

"If I catch a flu then we can both lay in bed!"

"You got the vaccination for a reason Cookie. I just got shit luck." He shrugs, stopping when there is an Ad about vacations. "One day Skylar. I'll take you somewhere fun. Somewhere that isn't storming every other week in winter..."

~

"Alright everyone, get ready for lunch! Don't push in the bathrooms alright?" The kids agree quickly, and gather in their usual groups to go wash their hands. Taking care of two classes is not easy and having Alexander do almost everything makes me very guilty. "Are you sure you don't want me to ring up your family? Maybe you should get a cab to the clinics."

I was about to make up some excuse up, I know my dad is busy today, he's gone with Felix as their self appointed advisor for this highly confidential trip since he has a lot of experience in business and there aren't many occasions when Roman needs help so he jumped on it the first chance he got. Dad's also been moving stuff and decorating a lot lately, even getting into photography which sounds interesting. My parents used to live hours away from civilization, I've never visited, apart from my childhood home of course, but the house looks amazing from photos. Too late now, I guess.

Having said that, I'm pretty sure the lake where Roman's store is at might be fairly close to mom's place, but there really isn't a reason for me to go unless I want to upset myself. "I'm fine Alexander, the snow is getting worse so I don't think my family would be able to come either way." I smile reassuringly, hoping that he'd just let me stay until the day is over.

"Alright... Don't worry too much about the kids, I'll get them sorted. Let me grab something to eat for the both of us." He cleans the whiteboard of all the handwriting before stepping out of the classroom, leaving me alone in an empty classroom.

Normally I would go around and clean up the desks, but seems that I'm not going to be able to move much. My lungs are burning and being left alone without any distraction makes me conscious of just how much pain I am in. The audible breathing doesn't help my concerns either.

Will I pass this to the kids? I hope not...

Maybe I should give Owen a call, he's a vet, I'm sure animals and humans have something in common... Right?

Soon enough my tranquility is broken by small excitable souls stumbling into the classroom. Lunch starts and everyone gets their food out for the day. Normally the kids are allowed out, but with this snow, everything is locked and without question, I'm certainly not going to let them wander. Snowball fights are very tempting... But safety first.

The noise of children chatting and laughing usually makes me happy, but I can only wish the day is over with. I'm in immense amounts of pain and I'm feeling faint and lightheaded. Alexander returns with a nice cup of hot tea, prompting me to finish up the sandwich he brought over while monitoring children. I guess I'm lucky that the kids are not pushing around and being handsy today.

"I'll count up the kids," Alexander says as I fill in a form for a nice library session. I need some silence in my life for once. Damn I hate being sick, it doesn't go well with my personality at all. "... thirty... I think we are missing one."

I frown while looking around, I know all their names so it's easy for me to see that Paris is missing. What's that princess up to now? "I'll go look for her, you bring them up." The short response is all I can handle, and if I am going to be searching the whole school, I'd need every breath I can get.

"Are you sure? Call me if you need me alright? I don't want you getting hurt." Alex proceeds to line the kids up before taking a right while I head downstairs to the play area and hopefully look for Paris.

Speaking of the princess, she's been oddly silent lately, I'd have to ask her why when I get the chance. My feet carry me around the empty floor, not a soul in sight. Then I catch a movement out the corner of my eye, and there stood Paris, in the middle of the snow wearing her purple jacket.

She picks up snow and chucks it around with a still expression. Not looking the least bit interested. That is strange.

I put on my boots and see that the wind suddenly started to kick up drastically, without tying the laces I run out and dodge large clumps of ice flying towards me. Not only is it snowing, it's hailing a bunch as well. Paris ducks and shields herself from the wind, her hat being carried away with it and onto a bush. She works her way towards it.

A loud crack breaks through the deafening wind and my body jolts forward to grab Paris, brining her away from the vulnerable tree. I feel a sharp pain on my neck that quickly numbs from the cold, it doesn't stop me from pushing Paris into the indoors, and shutting the door quickly.

Her cries for the hat heard through the glass. My mind is already set on retrieving it. My lungs were caving in, they could be completely unmoving for all I know. The pain on my skin and lungs bring me down to my knees inches away from the desired hat, I reach for it certain that my feet and hands are frostbitten.

I couldn't walk an inch.

I feel so helpless.

"Mr. Cookie! Branch! Branch!" My eyes dart to her, thinking that she's in danger but no, she's still safely on the other of the door. Alexander shows up beside her, in seconds he's moving quickly towards me.

I grin victoriously when my hand reaches for the pink hat, the wind still ripping through the air. All this cold air inside my lungs is slicing up my airways, I can feel the asphyxiation. It reminds me of the countless panic attacks I have had before, only difference being deep breaths are now futile. They only fuel the pain.

In quick succession, I drop the hat, hands and knees on the ground trying to regulate the pain and breathing. Nothing works. "SKYLAR!" he yells, still meters away. I look up to see a branch growing closer and closer.

Damn... This hurts...

I see white and I see black. Or perhaps it's dirty snow...

Nope, definitely black...

Pitch.

Black.

~

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Felix grabs Robert's neck. Forcing him up into the air with one hand.

"T-the k-kid is too stupid, doesn't see what's c-c-coming a-at h-h-him..." His hold tightens, making the circle of beat up bullies cower away.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Him." A loud bang enters my ears, his head gets slammed into the wall, blood leaking from Felix's knuckles. He's hurt...

"F-Felix. Don't!" I shout while crying. He's going to hurt himself even more. "Your hands!"

My friend throws Robert on the ground, bring his boot covered foot on his chest and holding it there firmly. "Be thankful that I need to clean up after the shit you sacks of ass caused. Or you would be dead." He kicks the side of Robert's head, making him fall silent and motionless.

"Y-you killed him!" One of the bullies yelled.

"He's only unconscious. Say another thing and I can't guarantee the same for you." Felix walks over to me, smiling gently as his arms gather my body, careful not to move my dislocated arm too much. It hurts, it hurts to much. The cold weather didn't help numb the pain, nor did the packed snow held to my shoulder. "Sorry I didn't come in time."

The pain was intolerable for sure, but Felix keeps telling me to stay awake, so I did. For him. "A-arm." I groan out.

"I'm sorry Skylar." He whispers setting me on the back seat. One of his hands hold my chest down, the other gripping firmly around my bicep. "I'm so sorry." He whispers again, and in a swift move he lifts my arm back into place. It hurt, it hurt so much.

Instead of crying out, I fall completely still, losing my vision to pain. Then I fall silent and motionless.

Right before that, I see white and I see black. Or perhaps it's dirty snow...

Nope, definitely black...

Pitch.

Black.