by the time we had arrived at the police station, i had only just managed to stop the tears but my breathing was still shaky.

i could tell that the cops were sick of me but i guess the fact that my entire world had just crumbled around me within a matter of minutes gave them at least a sufficient understanding as to why i was crying my soul out, and just enough more understanding to let me continue to do so.

minutes later i found myself trapped alone in a tiny cell, every single pair of eyes in the room trying their hardest to resist staring at me but all giving in at one point or another.

i sat on the floor with my back against the wall and my knees drawn up near to my chest.

all i could do was think.

i thought about how i had only met mattia literally a few days ago, and how fast everything had changed and all the small, careless decisions i had made which had brought me here, sitting on the nasty holding cell floor. but the thing i despised myself for the most was the fact that, knowing what i know now, i'd still do it all again.

maybe mattia did drug me, maybe i willingly bought into his game, but i was happy.

happier than i'd ever been.

the sound of mattia's voice snapped me back into reality.

'what the fuck is going on? where is she? where are you taking me?' he yelled, becoming more and more aggressive after each unanswered question.

i stood up immediately and stood at the front of the cell, my fingers wrapped around the cold steel bars as i watched mattia get thrown into the cell across the room from mine.

the faces in the room all turned to him, embracing the show he was putting on and flashing repulsed faces.

my heart throbbed for him and i started to feel small bulbs of water falling down my face again.

everyone was so disgusted by us, they looked at us as if we were animals.

mattia continued to shout, i knew i needed to calm him down before the situation became even worse.

'mattia.' i yelled, my voice breaking slightly, 'please calm down.' i begged, more tears beginning to stream down my cheeks.

the aggression melted from his face after noticing me.

'y/n, i'm so fucking sorry. please don't cry, everything's gonna be fine, i promise.' he said desperately.

everyone in the room fell silent, listening to our conversation and creating an almost pitiful atmosphere.

'it's okay, mattia, none of this is your fault, just, please calm down.' i whispered, the silence in the room carrying my voice all the way to his cell.

he nodded at me slowly, and sat down in the same position i had sat in before, the guilty thoughts that circled his mind were practically audible.

but there was nothing either one of us could do.

the room eventually fell back into motion and suddenly i heard my mom's voice.

'y/n!' she yelled, rushing over to my cell.

at that moment i realized that my mom had no idea what had been going on.

she held my hands through the metal barrier and watched me cry for the millionth time today, a look of pity smeared across her face.

'mom i'm so so sorry i didn't text or call.' i managed to produce between sobs and stutters.

'y/n i was worried about you.' she said.

'i know, mom, i'm sorry.' i sniffed.

she looked around cautiously and came in close to me.

'y/n, listen to me, no matter what happened just know that i'm not angry with you, the same thing happened to me when i was your age.. except i didn't get caught.' she whispered.

i looked at her confused and slightly taken aback.

i decided that since i wasnt going to be allowed to talk to her soon, there was no time for questions.

'i love you.' i said.

'i love you too, y/n.' she said, 'i'm going to do everything i can to get you out of this mess.'

i sighed, turning to mattia and seeing him conversing with his parents.

i turned back to my own mom, 'thank you.. but what's going to happen to mattia.' i said.

'well, honey, his situation is slightly worse than yours, he's being accused of supplying. y/n, this whole thing is being broadcast to the entire nation and everyone's become invested. most people are focusing they're hatred on him, but at least that means it's more likely that you'll be let out.' she said.

the last sentence boiled my blood.

'but we can help him, right?' i said through gritted teeth.

'y/n, if you ever want to get out of here, you're going to have to think about moving on and away from him.' she said condescendingly.

just as i was going to yell at her, a tall, well dressed man approached her.

'excuse me ma'am, my name is christian miller and i am the state attorney that has been assigned to y/n. her case has been assigned to an appropriate prosecutor's office and your daughter's charges will be filed within 48 and 72 hours. after that an arraignment date will be set and y/n will have to plea either guilty, not guilty or no contest. if she pleads not guilty a court date will be set. do you have any questions in terms of the process?' he spoke.

'no, thank you.' she replied.

he nodded at the both of us and walked away.

'i think visiting hours are over now,' mom sighed, 'but ill be back soon, stay strong y/n.' she said, letting go of my hand and walking away.

i sat back down and looked at mattia, who had also said goodbye to his parents.

he raked his hair back with his fingers in frustration and then looked over at me.

i sent him a weak smile and mouthed to him.

'everything's going to be okay.'