the day of arraignment finally arrived after what had felt like years in holding.

the lawyers had decided that it would be easier to combine mattia's case and mine, so we stood before the judge together.

i was just about close enough to him that i could brush my fingertips against his, the friction causing electricity to flicker between us as i soaked in and embraced the contentment that came with just being in his general presence.

it wasn't much but the past few days the only thing i could think about was being with him, kissing him, fucking him.

i found myself reminiscing on our few late night conversations, the way we both told each other everything, the way he comforted me and made me feel safe.

the time had come for our plea's and both of us pleaded not guilty.

the judge set the court date for the 10th june, which was around 119 days away. the thought of waiting that long to be told whether or not i'd be spending the rest of my life in prison was already stimulating my paranoia, but since being in holding i had decided that there was nothing i could do to help the situation, but acceptance would help me internally.

then, the judge went on to announce something that surprised me slightly.

the court had come to the decision that mattia and i would be released pending our trial, not only this, but we were being sent to a private location due to the fact that the case had gathered so much media attention, and mixing us in with the rest of the public didn't seem like a good idea. our transfer was effective immediately.

i turned my head very subtly to see mattia had done the same, his face remained straight but i could see excitement flickering in his eyes.

moments later the both of us had said goodbye to our parents, as even they weren't allowed to know where we were being taken, and we were put in the backs of two separate police vans.

the journey lasted quite a while, so i guessed that we would be staying somewhere quite far away.

they had explained to us that we were going to be placed in a secluded house and supplies would be sent to us weekly. we wouldn't be supervised as that would be against our rights, however there would be random check ins to make sure mattia and i weren't doing anything that could add to our charges.

honestly, i was quite shocked that we were allowed to stay together, but obviously i wasn't going to complain.

for hours and hours i sat in the van thinking about all the talk that was probably going on at school, how i probably wouldn't be able to go back even if i was found innocent.

i thought about alejandro and kairi, how they would miss mattia and probably hated me for taking him away.

then my mind stopped at the thought of natalia, and how fucking angry i still was at her... how i still missed her.

we had been through so much together, we had both helped each other through so much, obviously we had fought but natalia was like my sister, nothing ever mattered to me more than her.

i thought i wouldn't have ever done this to her, but maybe i would if it was my mom in the same situation.

at that moment i decided that i had forgiven her, and that i'd tell her that if i ever got to see her again.

i wondered what mattia was thinking about, maybe he was thinking about how confused gianluca was going to be or how, even if he managed to go home, everyone was going to hate him.

i felt the van come to a halt and i looked up to see the cop opening the door for me.

'get up.' he said.