You move slowly toward the back of the library, your hand gently grazing the dusty spines of neglected informative books. This was it, you note. This was the place. You pause, legs trembling as you lower yourself to the ground, looking around before slipping into the pile of bean bags in the corner.

You close your eyes tightly as the pleather slides over your thin features, pushing through the heat and musty smell until you come to an open space beneath them all. It small and hard and barely there, but... it's there. It feels like it's been waiting here for years. Vacant. Just for you.

And you can appreciate it.

Slowly you shift until you're laying flat on your back, looking up into the darkness of the bean bag chairs suspended above you. You aren't one for small spaces normally, but eyes have not yet adjusted to the darkness and it seems... infinite. Like you could sit up and stand up and kick off and finally free yourself from every strife that has consumed your life since the last time you associated with these bean bags.

You smile sadly and reach up slowly, tracing your hand along the thin plastic exterior of a bean bag, biting the way the skin of the beast puckers along a stitching line. There is the end of the darkness. Right we're it should and you know it to be. But so more fucking close than you could ever dream.

You feel a tear slip from your soft eyes and you curl up into a small ball, burying your face in your knees as you cry soflty, shoulders shaking.

I you lived in another time.

If this were another day.

If the darkness extended beyond your finger tips and years and years and miles instead, you could let your head rest here and be... comfortable. You could close your eyes and fly to New York and tangle your legs with that of a man who's reached out and never felt pleather.

But this is your life.

And there is no day but today

And you cry yourself to sleep.

You groan softly and shift on the carpeted floor. You open a tired eye, only to feel yourself begin to succumb to the darkness once more. With another soft groan, you push the beanbag, slick with your hot breath, away from your face. You emerge like some great entity of imposition and bed head from the depths of bean bag hell, rubbing your face and looking down at the time.

It was time.

With a soft bite of your lip, you stand, and pick up the iced coffee you'd left to melt over night, taking a long sip of the watery drink before moving out into the brisk morning air. Looking around, you lick your lips softly, pulling your phone from your pocket. Nothing. No messages. You suddenly feel the hot leather against your face and rub your flushed cheeks hard, vanishing the tears from your vision.

Grey converse tap politely against the pavement as you move to the nearest convenience store, pushing your cup carefully into a smelly, overflowing trashcan beside the door. The store had just opened, and smelled heavily of cleaning products and sizzling pork on a flat stove in the back.

You sigh and move over to the drink machine, pouring yourself an u healthy soft drink and one for Lin as well, moving back to the counter. "Two tacos." You Ask. "Pork. And um.." It was Lins birthday. You'd already gotten him something. You shift sadly. The keys that felt heavy in your pockets had come in the mail the day before. A lovely apartment in Houston you'd taken out a rent on.

Whatever.

"A lottery ticket." You mumble. You were feeling lucky. More so... Lin was. He's always been a gambler. You lift the little bag and make your way out the door.

Lin's Head snaps up as he hears the door open. "Y/N!" He says quickly, pushing a hand through his long hair. "W-Where were you? W-Why didn't you come home last night?" He says, his voice dropping in hesitant wort. You look fully up to him, stepping gently out of his arms. "Why didn't you text me?" You say evenly, setting the food down on the table.

"Tacos.." You announce. "I got you tacos." Lin glances at the bag, rubbing his soft stomach gently where it pushes against his white sleeveless tank top. "I've already had enough." You mumble, shrugging and moving slowly into the kitchen, leaning against the counter and trying to hold yourself together as you feel yourself slipping back into the darkness.

You pause as you feel lins strong arms around your thin torso. You whimper soflty and turn against him, burying your face in his chest. "This is so fucking hard." You whisper, your voice dry and painful as it pushes from your windpipe.

Lin gulps, his Adam's apple heavy in his throat. "Y-Yeah.." He whispers. "I-It is." He pulls you against him tightly and kisses gently down your neck. "B-But... I-I'm chasing what I want.. a-and you know what?" He takes your hand slowly. "I learned that from you."

You pause a moment before pushing yourself firmly against the man, connecting your lips deeply. "I hate you and your stupid fucking Hamilton references!" You Cry, gripping onto the man's hair tightly.

Lin blushes and shakes his head. "I'm sorry.." he chuckles, leaning back against the table and sighing, rubbing your back lovingly. After a minute, you pull away, wrapping your arms around the man's waist and burying your face in his tummy. "Eat." You command quietly.

Lin nods and pushes into the bag, pausing in his movements as he sees the lottery ticket. "Hey.." he says, his tone jumping through the duration of the word. "Is this for me?" You smile and nod. "Yeah. It's your birthday, silly." You kiss his lips and smile softly. "It's not much." You admit. "I-I has more to give you it just..." you shake is head. "It doesn't matter."

Lin bites his lip soflty and looks down. "You have a quarter?" He mumbles, feeling the cool ache of guilt slip back into him. You nod and pull out a little Washington that looks as f he sat at the bottom of the fountain for a few too many years.

Lin takes it slowly from you and your push away from him, grabbing a banana from the counter and takes a bite, listening intently to the soft scratching behind you.

"Oh shit."

You hum. "What?" You mumble, taking another bite of the banana, looking back to Lin. The man's eyes were Saucers. "(Y-Y/n)" He whispers. "I-W-We won!" He pushes against you heavily, kissing you deeply and motioning to the ticket. "A-Set for life! That's over 125 thousand dollars!" You gasp and push tightly against him, looking down at the ticket and nodding to confirm. Your teeth tremble in their spaces in your gums. "Lin!" You scream, pushing into him and laughing soflty.

Lin shakes his head as he looks down to the money, biting his cheek and looking back to you. "Y/N." He whispers. "Y-You know what this means, right?"

Your brows furrow and you pull away from him slowly. "Oh... Um." Your eyes move slowly to Laf's bags in the hall. You wipe at them roughly once more. No tears. No tears. "I... l-Lin... I don't know." You whimper and take another step back. "You. We um. I-I thought we were over.." You were so conflicted.

Lin gulps soflty and shakes his head. "W-We don't have to be." He whispers. You frown as you watch him shift a hand to his pocket, moving down onto one knee, pulling out a box with a ring. "Y/n." He says soflty. "W-Will you come with me?"