A piercing throb in my stomach pulls me from the horrific memories. I bring my knees to my chest grimacing in pain, sweat drenching my forehead.

Tears streamed down my face, I shuddered at the thought of his hands on mine.

"Mia". A soft voice called my name, I didn't move to see, knowing well it's Jungkook.

My back was turned to him, he let his finger run in my hair playing with it, trying to calm me. That's what he is doing since last night keeping his touch minimal but just right so I don't pull away.

He seems to know somehow what I need, he has his suspicions but he didn't question me. My behaviour probably gave me so much already.

Every time I woke up shivering, crying he was there to hold me. Last night neither him or I slept, he was trying to keep my fever down as I tried to keep my demons away.

Since last night all I did was cry feeling completely numb, I didn't want to but the nightmares were making it hard for me to do so. I tried not to fall asleep but my mind and body was so tired I ended up sleeping only to wake up with my chest and throat burning.

In the middle of night I was shivering from the cold, feeling my body burn. Jungkook gave me medicines, keeping the cold wet towel on my forehead to bring my temperature down.

I heard Jungkook sigh as he pulled me gently in his embrace sitting upright leaning against the headboard. I turned burying my head in his chest snuggling, seeking for the safety and comfort I only get in his arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He softly uttered. "What is it? Since yesterday you have been whimpering and crying for help in your sleep, waking up looking scared and panicked".

I just shake my head not wanting to talk.

He doesn't deserve it, the mess I call life he doesn't deserve to be involved in my misery, any one I know surely would be disgusted after knowing it.

I wanted to cry more imagining the disgust on his face after he came to know the truth. Moreover, I don't trust Nathan when he said he can send those pictures to Jungkook, I know he would. Because that's what happened in highschool. The humiliation and bullying I faced, I will never ever forget.

I am having those Nightmares again, I stopped having those for some time now. It's not rocket science to know it was Nathan's presence who triggered that. The part I hide in the safe, never wanting to let out, is starting to creep its way out and it's definitely going to affect the people around me.

I remember how much my parents, Aunty and friends suffered because of me. How embarrassed they must be? I am such a disgrace to them.

"It's okay, we will talk when you are ready".

I don't deserve him after everything I did, pushing him away he still hasn't left me alone.

I thought I was ready to tell him, I thought I could tell him. I was okay, just one night and just a few minutes with Nathan was enough for everything to come crashing down. When I thought I was finally ready to let go but not forget, when I thought I was strong enough.

"It's time for your medicines". Jungkook said kissing my forehead.

"Before that you need to eat".

"I am not hungry". I hoarsely let out my mouth dry.

"No, you are going to eat". He firmly said, His voice held no room for arguments.

I was not really in the mood to eat, I don't have an appetite even if I ate I might end up throwing up.

This morning Jungkook prepared breakfast, forcing me to eat. We didn't have college today so he stayed with me all the time. It's just afternoon time for lunch and my medicines which I don't know when he Brought them.

I was thankful he didn't take me to hospital, I hate hospitals.

He got up, letting me go gently, walking out of the room. I watched his retracting figure. He is wearing the clothes I stole from Yoongi.

We silently ate, I kept playing with food, taking small bites, every now and then Jungkook glanced at me watching me. He frowned when I didn't eat, but I was not really feeling like it.

His attention was taken off me when his phone buzzed,Mom lit up on the screen. He ignored it, turning his attention on me,he opened his mouth to scold me but again his phone started ringing. He sighed, putting it on mute.

I frowned at him" Answer it".

"I will call her later". He shrugged, taking my spoon away scooping the food by himself as he held the spoon for me to take it. I scowled at him, he looked at me urging me to open my mouth. He is not going to let it go, is he? I opened my mouth, swallowing the food,and he looked satisfied and content.

His phone buzzed again, he looked irritated but this time answered it. Why didn't he answer at first?

"Hey Mom". He said while still feeding me I let him, not wanting to upset him. He prepared for me. I don't want to make him feel bad.

I could not hear much, he kept his phone in between his ear and shoulder.

"I was busy". He said, I looked at me deadpan.

Busy? Yeah trying to take care of me while I was only being a burden to him. Their conversation continued as Jungkook occasionally hummed and answered with yes.

"I know, I am sorry yeah Love you too". He sighed.

"Sorry about that, Mom wants me to come home". He smiled dimly.

He looked a little tired, I felt bad he stayed up with me, taking care of me.

I smiled at him slightly. "It's okay, I am fine now you can go."

He didn't meet her for quite some time, I know he misses her rather than spending his free time with his family here he is taking care of my pathetic self.

He looked uncertain, contemplating. I smiled at him genuinely for the first time since yesterday. He is so cute.

"Okay".

He got up taking the bowls with him walking away as I slowly got up following him. I was weak and my legs were a little shaky. I saw him scrubbing the dishes. I looked at him closely, printing him in my head. I am going to miss him.

He turned around smiling, mincing his way to me" You should rest, why are you standing there".

"I just wanted to see you off".

He pulled me tightly in his arms, kissing my hair"Take care".

I pulled away surprising him by leaning in to kiss him gingerly. I moved my lips against him. He was still for a moment before kissing me back. The kiss was slow, gentle and tender. I poured out my feelings which I could not say loudly. I am sorry Jungkook.

He felt my mood change, he tightened his hold on me fearing to let me go. He sensed something was wrong. He knew what the kiss meant.

I broke the kiss giving him a smile, I smiled through the pain. This is hurting me more than I thought.

"You are going to be late".

He softly caressed my cheek gazing at me, his eyes roam over my face taking in my features. He looked at my eyes, I turned away afraid he would find what I was hiding.

"Goodbye". I whispered

He placed a last lingering kiss on my lips, left me standing there alone leaving me to drown within my own storm.