Out of all people I never thought Jungkook would be the one with whom I feel calm and safe.

After we left from college he buckled me in, and kept driving. He didn't say a word, he just kept quiet with his hand in mine.

I was very thankful he didn't say anything or ask anything yet. I thought he was bringing me home but he brought me to a beach.

Lifting me up to sit on his hood he went inside the car and came back with snacks and chocolates.

I was just sitting there looking at the view in front of me.

The sea is now covered by the hue of orange because of the sun.

Sometimes we dream in the colours borrowed from the sea. I wanted to Dance with the waves, move with the sea. Let the rhythm of the water set my soul free.

But my body was feeling so numb I was so tired from the emotions that were swirling inside me. I wanted to just throw those feelings as this sea Throws. I wanted to wash all this in the waves.

"You are not going to ask me why I am being like this or what made me like this?".

Jungkook didn't answer so I turned to face him as he was already studying me intensely trying to see what I have been hiding. I would have broken the eye contact and hide all the feelings which I am sure present in my eyes. But I didn't I just let him see me, the vulnerable side I rarely show.

Other things his eyes are holding me captivate, it's a trap I can't help but fall in deep. His eyes hold the light and intensity that could blind and burn me, surprisingly the intensity neither blinds me nor burns me. It calms me down, soothing and healing me little by little.

As if they know I am talking about them as they shyly let the curtain fall.

The hair fell on his eyes slightly covering the enticing view. I put my hand forward to move it. As Jungkook just lets me do it while still staring at me.

I broke into a smile, a genuine smile for the first time in the past hour. The darkness didn't have enough power to take me. You can say Jungkook was somewhat guarding me without him knowing. It's actually a fight between me and darkness but the fight which I already gave up a long time ago.

Still Jungkook stood besides me fighting it, not letting it win this time darkness was not stronger to win against him no one ever was.

He wrapped his palm on my wrist brushing his hair" I am dying to ask. I am so curious it's hurting me not to know, but I am going to wait till you feel you are ready to tell me".

I burst out laughing at him, I might look crazy but he looked so serious which is so cute. It's illegal.

You are wondering just a moment ago I was having a mental breakdown close to having a panic attack and now I am laughing like a madwoman. He doesn't judge me, doesn't even ask why I am laughing, he just lets me.

I told you darkness couldn't take me away from Jungkook. I was feeling so much better now. The serenity Jungkook brought me is so unreal. I couldn't define it,sometimes somethings couldn't be described just like my feelings and what he makes me feels couldn't be.

The effect he has on me is terrifying. I am scared but when I am with him I am not worried about my demons getting me. They remain in the cage rattling the railings to let them out. They remain inside as if fearing him.

I am me with him, the vulnerable me, the real me with the guard down. I don't know why I could let my guard down. I am petrified.

I usually shut people when I even start caring. I never let it grow this much with him. I can't.

"So how about this let's talk about ourselves to get to know each other, I have come to know I don't know much about you".

He suggests I highly doubt he doesn't know because sometimes he knows me better than I even know myself. He knows before I even have to tell him I feel.

"OK so tell me what's your story what made you, You as in fuckboy, so cocky cold distant?".

He smirked at me"You are not going to make this easy for me, aren't you? ".

I just clicked my tongue and grinned.

" I am so grateful you think so highly of me" He said sarcastically as I just giggled.

"I don't sleep with everyone with a hole between their legs, and please most of them just throw themselves at me".

I gave him a gross look"Do you know how dickish you sound? "

" What it's true they do that all the time it's not my fault".

"Cocky bastard". I muttered under my breath as he just laughed.

"No but seriously even if they do I don't just go around sleeping with them, I agree I might sleep with some but not everyone I also have standards to maintain".

I looked at him with wide eyes"No but what really made you like this cold a distant, you are good with everyone but a little cold and distant you are not like that around Jimin, Hobi, Leah now even Yoongi, why? You are clearly avoiding and diverting the topic by your assholeness".

He rolled his eyes at me" As observant as a goddamn hunting lioness, you are not going to let this go? ".

I shook my head as a no, he sighed and leaned back looking at the sea.

"No one made me who I am now, it's just who I am. It's like a defense mechanism for me being a dick you can say it's what some people actually Boosted. I learned being like how I am makes them respect you know you but I was wrong they will either use you for money or sex or they need something no one stays with us without a reason, high school gave me that reason, they didn't care to know who exactly I am all they cared about my money my looks no one really knew seem to so I stayed a little distant and cold as you put so I was trying to fit in but then I got to know where I exactly fit with whom. Only people close to me knows how actually I am".

I looked at him empathetically, I kind of feel bad for judging him too much at times. The front he put up was that I am spending time with him getting to know me. He is really a soft person with a kind heart. He is just like others but he is still marvelously different.

"It's not your fault, it's how society made us, stereotypical I know because at some point we all try to fit in,you know like Darwin's theory Survival of the fittest." I said, leaning my head on his shoulder.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Oh god it feels so good, I want to capture this moment so badly but for sure it's as permanently stamped in my memory. His shoulder is so comfortable I closed my eyes as the sea breeze kissed my cheeks, the smell relaxing my body as I leaned more in his shoulder. One thing You can't stop waves but you need to learn to dance with it as every wave hits the shore every time it leaves a piece for us to learn. Waves hitting are feet which can't be stopped. It is like life challenging us. We should not stop but learn something new from it.

Not everything we see or think is true, every perspective is different just like looking up at the sky from the down. The possibilities keep on increasing just like the wide sky. It's just there, it's just we who move. So learn and embrace.

I have been living too much in the past and what possibly could happen now I need to just let it go. Embrace what happens, learn not forget. And I am going to do it before it's too late.

I won't let it trap me again. We can't undo the past, we just have to move forward rather than being stuck there.

Even if it's painful we can't rewrite it but we definitely can do things to ease it.