I sit quietly at my desk. I feel so miserable at work today, usually being here makes me feel something other than sadness. I sigh and look at my phone hoping someone has texted me yet as I thought that's not the case. I'll try texting Yoongi again.

Hey Yoongi are you doing okay?

I hope you're eating well and getting plenty of rest.

I was wondering if after I finish work you wanted to do something? I'll wait for you just in case.

Sorry if I'm annoying you, I'll stop now.

No answer after 30 minutes of me just staring at my phone. Maybe if I text one of the other members they will tell me something if not I hope they at least answer me.

Hey Jimin, sorry to bother you. I just wanted to ask if Yoongi is doing okay?

Sorry I think he's been a little stressed today.

Oh okay sorry.

I hope he isn't stressed because of me, there has to be other reason's right?. I start to worry, thoughts overwhelming me. I'm having a panic attack in the middle of class.

Of course he's stressed because of you y/n. You're so annoying and useless. You deserve no one, you deserve nothing. Just end everything now it will be better for everyone.

"M-miss y/n, are you okay? You don't look well." I look up from my desk. Everything looks blurry and my body feels heavy. I snap out of it and try to compose myself in the span of 10 seconds I have to answer.

"Oh sorry. I'm okay. Is there something you need?" Now I'm disrupting my students, what else can I do wrong.

"I have a question, can you answer it for me?"

"Of course, I'll see you in a second" I place my phone back in my bag and try to calm myself down. Everything is fine, everything is fine. Just breathe. I say over and over again.

"Yoongi! Yoongi! YOONGI!"

"What do you want Jimin?!!"

Jimin runs through Yoongi's bedroom door. Yoongi lays there on his bed, headphones on and music blasting. Jimin has a sulky look on his face, arms folded and he stamps one foot on the ground like an angry 5 year old. He's trying so hard to look intimidating but alas it doesn't work.

"What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? How long are you going to keep ignoring y/n? She started messaging me asking about you. She sounds upset and worried and I don't know what to tell her because you're fine!"

"Then tell her I'm fine"

"Are you serious Yoongi, do you want to make her feel horrible, like she's nothing"

"Listen Jimin I have a lot on my mind right now, I need to think. I don't need you screaming at me just because I'm not answering y/n's fucking messages. Now leave me alone!"

"Yoongi....I"

"I said leave me the fuck alone" Yoongi stands up and slams the door in Jimin's face. He doesn't move or say anything more, all he can do is walk away disappointed and unsure on what to do.

An hour passes and once again my class is over. I pack my things in my cute Totoro bag and put my puffy jacket on, It's been really cold lately so I'm not taking any chances so I don't get sick. I wait outside the building, student's all around me talking amongst themselves. After about 10 minutes of me standing there alone a student from my class walks up to me, she's a lot shorter than I am.

"Thank you for today miss y/n. Make sure you get home soon, it's supposed to get colder"

"Thank you. I hope to see you next time" I can't help but smile.

I Look down at my phone, it's 3:15pm. I'll just wait a little longer just in case he comes.

3:30pm....3:42pm....4:10pm....4:37pm..... he never came. Everyone has gone home now. I sigh loudly and walk home. The wind getting stronger and it begins to rain. I run and run, by the time I get home I'm soaked. I throw my stuff on the couch and quickly check my phone, still no text from Yoongi.

I have a shower and I don't eat anything. I look into the mirror, I feel so tempted and unfortunately this time I don't win, instead my thoughts do. I grip the blade tightly and let loose on my wrist and this time all up my arm. Going deeper and deeper till everything feels numb. I don't cry, I'm to far gone for that now. Instead I rinse it under the water and try my best to bandage it up, not to my surprise the blood seeps through. I just ignore it and go to bed. I don't sleep at all that night. Tossing and turning, I feel sick and weak. Maybe it's the blood loss, yeah it has to be that.

Another day or two days or three days passes, everyday feels like the last. I don't eat or sleep, I just go to work and go home. Instead of cutting tonight I slam my arm against the wall several times. Instantly a large purple bruise appears on my arm. You deserve this y/n.

"Yoongi have you spoken to her?"

"Jimin will you quit it, I haven't yet"

"When are you going to? It's been what four days since you last spoke to her."

"I'll go speak to her when I figure some thing's out"

"What is there to figure out Yoongi?" Jimin says in a calm voice.

"I-I don't know, I just ah shit" He slams his fist down on the table hard. Everything on the table shakes. Everyone in the room jumps.

"Yoongi calm down" Jin yells breaking the silence. "What's wrong with you now?"

"I LIKE Y/N!"

The boy's are silent again.

Jimin speaks up. "Ah Yoongs what did you just say?"

"I said I like y/n"

"It took you that long to figure it out, you're joking right" Hoseok says punching his shoulder and laughing.

"I'll go see her tomorrow, I don't think I'm ready to confess to her yet. I just want to see her"

Jimin pulls Yoongi aside. "Be careful tomorrow, remember you haven't spoken to y/n in four days, you basically ignored her. She will be mad"

"I know I know, I'll apologise to her tomorrow. I'll take her out to dinner to make up for it"

I lay there in bed. My alarm goes off, not that I needed it anyway I didn't sleep. I get dressed into a pair of black jeans and an oversized pink hoodie. I walk into the bathroom and I look like a zombie. The fact that I feel like I'll pass out if I don't eat anything makes me the slightest bit concerned so I make myself a sandwich and I leave for work.

During class I feel as though I'm going to collapse any second. My head feels so heavy and my body feels as though it's not mine anymore. I place my head on the table and close my eyes. I think I doze off for a bit. I'm awaken I think 20 minutes later by one of my students, It's the same girl I spoke to the other day.

"How are you feeling miss? You don't look so well."

"Oh sorry I must of dozed off. That's very rude of me"

"Please take a break if you need it, I really love your classes and it makes my heart break to see you so miserable all the time"

"I'm really sorry, I'll try harder from now on" I say with a smile. The girl walk's away but she looks stressed and worried.

I end the class and once again I pack my things and leave, this time I don't head home instead I just continue to walk not really knowing where I'm going. My head throbbing, my arms inflamed and everything feels numb.

*Knock* *Knock*

"Y/n are you there?"

No answer.

*Knock* *Knock*

No answer.

"Where would she be if she isn't at her apartment, maybe she's working?"

Yoongi arrives at the place y/n works. Students are everywhere as classes just ended.

"I'll go and check her classroom"

Yoongi arrives at y/n's classroom to find that she's not there. The only person who is in the room is a young a girl.

"Excuse me, have you seen one of the teachers that teaches English in this classroom. Her name is y/n, she has cute little freckles and pale skin and really dark hair."

"Oh you mean miss y/n? She left about 10 minutes ago, she went down a different pathway today, one that goes by the bridge. She wasn't looking very well, she hasn't been looking well for the past few days. I've been really worried about her"

"Ah okay thank you, this really helps!"

Yoongi rushes out the door and looks for the path the girl was speaking about and sure enough it was in the complete opposite direction to where she would usually go. The bridge why would she being past there... wait, no way that can't be why.

Yoongi goes into a state of panic, he runs and runs and still there is no sign of y/n.

I walk alone until I find myself against the railing of the bridge. I look down, cars below me speeding back and forth, the wind blowing in my hair, I breathe in and out slowly, the urge is there stronger than ever before. I take out my phone.

Hey Yoongs I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being annoying and for making you upset. You wont have to worry about me anymore, no one will. Please forgive me and don't be upset.

I close my eyes and I think for a second.

Yoongi looks down at his phone. He runs faster and faster, his legs moving faster than ever before. Tears escaping his eyes and his breathing becoming heavy and uneven.

Please don't be what I think it is. This is my fault, why did I ignore her for so long. I'm so fucking stupid, what the hell is wrong with me.

He runs and runs till he's at the entrance to the bridge. He comes to a sudden stop and his heart drops. There y/n lay on the cold cement still alive and breathing.

"Y/n! Y/n!" Yoongi runs over and pulls her into his chest. Both crying uncontrollably.

"What were you thinking!? Why would you scare me like that!?"

"You were mad at me. I did something to hurt you"

"I was never mad at you y/n. This is my fault, I'm to blame here. I'm sorry, you have ever right to be mad at me not the other way around"

"Why were you ignoring me then?"

"I had something's on my mind. I needed time alone but I was selfish, I still should have messaged you or at least gone to see you, I'm so so sorry y/n"

Both grip onto each other and cry and cry till they can't anymore. Yoongi picks y/n off the ground and takes her home, the entire time holding her hand making sure this time he doesn't let go.

I unlock the door to my apartment and turn to look at Yoongi. My eyes heavy and soft.

"Yoongi?" I say softly.

"Yes y/n?"

"Can you please stay with me tonight. I haven't been sleeping well at all and the only times I do is when I'm with you."

"Of course I'll stay with you" Both walk inside and sit together on the couch. Yoongi looks over to y/n and looks at her arm. Although she has sleeves on he can tell something is there.

"Y/n.. did you hurt yourself because of me?" He asks suddenly and sadly.

There is a silence between the two for a brief second.

"I-I did hurt myself, but.. It wasn't because of you. It was because of me, It's always because of me. I'd never do it because of another person"

"You don't have to but can I please see?"

I slowly nod my head and pull up my sleeve. I hesitantly undo the bandaging and breathe in. My left arm covered in deep cuts and black bruises, the worst it's been in a long time.

"y-y/n, I'm so sorry. This is my fault. If I asked you to stop... would you?"

"I can't promise that Yoongi"

He slowly wraps y/n's arm back up, being gentle making sure not to hurt her anymore than he already has. "I'm going to change that. I'm going to make you happy"

This is not how I though this chapter would go. I had this entire plan written out and I didn't follow it. Oh well I like this version better.