I awaken in the morning, the sun peaking through the curtains, I can feel it on my face. Honestly I don't remember much of the night before other than Jungkook falling asleep on Tae so we piled popcorn on his head, other than that I can't recall anything important. I feel a warmth next to me, so I slowly open my eyes and Yoongi is there fast asleep. I'm a little taken back, I don't remember him getting into bed with me, I don't remember getting into bed at all. I take a look at his face, I've never been this close to him before. His cute little nose, fair skin, pouty lips, he's so perfect and here I lay next to him, I don't deserve it. He deserves so much better then me.

"hmppppp y/nnnnn,are you awake?" He sounds so sleepy, I can barley make out what he is saying.

"Yoongi, you didn't have to sleep with me. I could have slept on the couch" I say quietly, his eyes still closed.

"Noooo, you asked me to sleep with you. How could I say no?" I a-asked him to sleep with me. What was I thinking last night, am I going crazy?

I go to move to get out of bed to let him sleep some more, he probably thought it was annoying of me to sleep in his room again.

"Sorry, I'll let you sleep some more"

"Y/nnnnn" he grabs a hold of my waist and pulls me down back to the bed. His arms lock around my body so I cant move, his legs inter-winning with mine. My head on his chest and his chin resting on the top of my head.

"Let's stay like this, I wan't to sleep more with you" He's clearly still half asleep, I'm sure if he were awake he wouldn't be doing this but I can't say no. The mornings are cold and I feel so warm next to him, even if I wanted to get out of bed I would probably freeze so staying like this isn't such a bad idea, right y/n? Is that the only reason you want to stay close to Yoongi like this? Do I like him? Maybe but even If I did it wouldn't matter, he wouldn't like me back.

The door swings open and Hoseok storms right it.

"Yoongi-ah are you awa.... AH sorry, I didn't mean to-to intrude on anything s-sorry, ma bad"

He runs out causing a large commotion.

"Hoseok hyung, why are you being this loud in the morning?" Jungkook asks rubbing his eyes.

"I-I walked in on Yoongi and y/n" he says awkwardly.

"What do you mean walked in on?" Jin yells causing everyone else to jump.

All six boys frantically make their way to Yoongi's door and stare.

"Y/nnn and Yoongiiii Oooooooo, look at them cuddling" Tae and Jimin jokingly say together.

I hide underneath the sheets, clearly I am very embarrassed and honesty I think Yoongi is as well. I can feel his heart beat go faster after what Tae and Jimin just said.

"Go awayyyyy" Yoongi yells.

"Why wont the two of you just date already" Jungkook yells back.

"Jungkook-ah, be quiet" Namjoon says playfully hitting the back of his head.

"Lets just leave them alone" Jin says pulling the younger boys away.

They all make their way back down the hallway when Jungkook pulls Jin aside. "Jin hyung, what's going on with those two?"

"I don't know Jungkook, I don't think they even know"

Namjoon walks over clearly wanting to join in on the conversation.

"Guess what I saw last night" he says smiling.

"What did you see?" Jin and Jungkook say, both looking very confused.

"Yoongi kissed y/n's forehead when she was asleep"

"Yoongi has a crush!"

"Shhhh Jungkook don't say it too loud" Both Namjoon and Jungkook are smiling uncontrollably now. Jin then changes that very quickly.

"But how does y/n feel. She clearly has some things going on at the moment, is it right for her to be around us all the time. What if she hurts herself again, how is that going to affect us, affect Yoongi"

"Jin calm down. Who knows what if Yoongi is what she needs most right now"

"Jungkook is right, we can't abandon her, she needs us"

"Yoongi-ah we have to get up" I say trying to break free from his grip.

"Nooo, sleep more"

"Aren't you embarrassed, the boy's just walked in on you cuddling me"

"Why would I be embarrassed?" His voice drops.

"Because I'm me"

"What you just said makes no sense y/n"

"I'm nothing special, I don't even know why you decided to stay friends with me, why you're so close to me right now"

"Because I think you're amazing y/n". My face goes bright red and my heart feels like it going to explode. y/n you can't like Min Yoongi, he is a successful idol, he just being nice, don't get your hopes up.

"Um ah, I'm going to have a shower" I quickly say jumping out of the bed. I almost trip over several times but I still somehow manage to run into the bathroom without breaking anything. I shut the door. My heart is beating so hard I can barley breathe.

Yoongi sits there on the bed laughing to himself. "she's so cute" he says under his breathe.

Before I hop in the shower I stick my head out the bathroom door.

"Jin-ah where are my clothes?"

"One sec, I'll go grab them"

Jin quickly runs to the laundry grabbing my now clean clothes from when I arrived here the day before.

"Here you go"

"Thank you Jin"

After I close the door I have a much needed shower. I remember the words Yoongi said to me "I think you're amazing". These words playing over in my mind. I can't help but giggle.

I get out of the shower and look at the shirt Jin washed for me. Blood is still stained at the cuff of my sleeve. I can't wear this. Instead I put on my black leggings and Yoongi's black jumper that I see on the back of the door. He won't mind, right?

Yoongi staggers his way out of his room. Messy bed hair and large bag's under his eyes.

"Where's y/n?"

"She's still in the shower"

"Ah okay". He says grabbing a cup of coffee.

"Yoongi, can I speak to you"

"Sure Jin hyung"

Yoongi walks over to Jin who sit's by himself on the couch.

"Yoongi do you like y/n?"

"W-what no, why would you think that?"

"Don't lie to me"

"I'm not lying!"

"Oh so you cuddling her, constantly worrying about her and kissing her forehead last night Is what, something friends just do?"

"Y-yes why else would I.. wait, how did you know about last night?"

"That's not important, what is important is you realise your feelings towards her. Once you figure that out things may become difficult. Remember you are apart of BTS, we need you and if you suddenly start choosing y/n over us constantly then there will probably be issues. I'm not asking you to choose between y/n or BTS just please be careful about the choices you make".

"You can't make decisions for me, so please don't act like you're in charge of the choices I make. I can be with who I want and still be apart of BTS"

"I hope for your sake that's true"

"Yoongi-ah! Yoongi-ah" I say running down the hallway.

"I'm over here y/n"

"Did you want to do something or are you busy?"

"Well we have a training session on in an hour and I have to go to that, it may take few hours"

"Oh do you want me to go home then" I say a little disappointed.

"Nope, how about you come watch"

"Wow! Really? I'd love to" I say jumping up and down. "I'll be right back, just let me grab my phone"

"Wait y/n!'

"Yes Yoongi?"

"Is that my jumper you're wearing?"

"Well yes, But! It's only because my other clothes still smelled funny. I swear it's no other reason"

He starts laughing "It's okay. It looks cute on you, keep it"

"You don't like her my ass" Jin says quietly under his breathe.

"Shut up".

After about 20 minutes the boys and I arrive at the BigHit building.

"Wow, this is so surreal"

"It's not that interesting"

"Why you gotta be so harsh Tae" Jungkook says rushing past him.

Yoongi slides up next to me. "If we had more time, I'd show you around"

"You can show me next time then" I say smiling.

*Cough* *Cough* "Just date already" *Cough* *Cough*

"Be quiet Jungkook" Jin says as he walks past to unlock the doors.

We all walk in. It feels funny like I'm in one of their dance practice videos they post on youtube.

"Is there a song you would like to see y/n?" Jimin asks.

My inner fan girls jumps out.

"Ooo um how about I need u, wait no DNA. Actually Fake love, yeah yeah dance to fake love please"

The music starts and all seven boys are in position. I have trouble sitting still because I'm so excited. I had never seen them perform live before because I could never afford to go to one of their concerts. I was always watching through my computer screen or phone. I feel so blessed at the moment, like I'm seeing a famous rare artwork.

I know I should be trying my best to watch them all but the entire time they are dancing I can't keep my eyes off Yoongi. He looks so cool moving his body the way he does, he's an extremely talented dancer, more than what people give him credit for. When his rap part comes on during the song and he's centre stage I can barley keep my smile in. Our eyes lock and I feel fuzzy inside.

It's the end of the song and the music stops. I clap and cheer.

"That was amazing, you all did so well."

"I didn't think you noticed y/n, your eyes were on Yoongi the entire time"

"I was not Jimin! Stop teasing me" All the boys laugh except Yoongi who stands there quietly.

"Y/n can you dance?" Tae asks suddenly.

"What me dance? Never in a million years"

"Come on, dance with us" Namjoon says pulling me off the ground.

"Noooo I can't dance seriously, I'll just embarrass myself"

DNA starts playing and Namjoon and Jimin grab a hold of my arms. They move my body to the rhythm of the song and all I can do is laugh. All of us are having so much fun.

"Guy's S-stop. I feel so ridiculous" I'm practically crying now because I'm laughing so much.

"Next time then. You have to dance with us or else"

"Okay, okay Namjoon, I promise"

While I talk to the boys Hoseok pulls Yoongi aside.

"You doing alright, you look kinda sad"

"Yeah Yeah I'm fine" Honestly I'm not doing okay. It just hit me like a brick, seeing y/n here. I can't stop thinking about what Jin hyung said choosing between y/n and BTS, that's a decision I wont have to make right?

"Hm okay, tell me if you're not Yoongi" Hoseok says walking away.

Yoongi nods and continues to practice, the weight piling on his mind.

After a few more hours, the boys are stuffed. It's quite late now I think, the sun outside is going down.

"I should get going now, I don't want to annoy you boy's anymore plus I have work tomorrow"

"We will drop you home then" Yoongi says, sweat dripping from his forehead, his breathing heavy and for some reason his voice sounds deeper. Is it weird that I think he looks really attractive like this?

I get dropped off at the front of my apartment. Jin rolls down the window and I poke my head through.

"Thank you for looking after and spending time with me" I say smiling.

"See you later y/n" The boys say back. I look at Yoongi, he looks so concentrated, sad even. It concerns me a little. "Bye Yoongi" I softly say.

He doesn't respond or look like he's even listening till Namjoon punches his shoulder. "Oh, bye y/n".They dive off and I wave them goodbye.

"What was that Yoongi!?"

"It was nothing just leave me alone" Namjoon sighs. "Fine then but don't blame me if you made y/n upset"

I quickly walk into to my apartment and as soon as I enter it's a mess. Empty bottles and cans are everywhere. *Sigh* "You really are stupid y/n" I clean them all up. It takes me longer then I would like to admit. As I pick the last can up I see where I hit my wrist, there is dried blood, a lot of dried blood. I try my best to ignore it's presence and clean it up as soon as possible not really looking at it.

"You had a great day y/n, don't mess it up now. There is nothing to be upset about" I say to myself. "If you hurt yourself again it will make Yoongi sad, we don't want that".

I collapse on the couch, I feel so drained. I look at the clock, it only 8:30pm. I decide to spend the rest of my night in my room watching movies. I walk past the bathroom and see the blade sitting there asking to be used. "You're better then this y/n, you don't need it. Not tonight" I close the bathroom door and quickly walk into my room. The urge is there, I'm trying so hard to resist it. I breathe slowly, in and out, in and out. Not tonight. Not tonight. I put my earphones in and try to drown out my thoughts and thankfully it works. I think tonight I'm actually going to get a decent sleep. Progress is being made but then suddenly the thought of Yoongi pops in my mind. He looked so sad in the car and he didn't say a word until he had to. I hope everything is okay. I hope it isn't my fault but usually it is.