"Life is like surfing a good wave. We have those moments where you feel as though you are on the top of the world and those where your life comes crashing down all around you."

Ainsley Matthews, ex-pro surfer, has been though a lot in the past. From the passing of her best friend all the way to her father walking out on her family. All of the things she's been through made her fear getting close with anyone because she knows that one day they'll be gone.

But what happens when Dawson Evans comes crashing into her life? Will she learn that the only way to move on is to put trust in others or will he break her heart and prove to her that everyone she loves, she will lose.

I like the photo used for your story because it has an accurate representation. The font isn't completely centered though, and it's cut off at the edges. Along with that, it would be more professional to add an author's name/username on the cover. You can keep your cover as it is, but it could be a lot better. If you choose to change the cover, I recommend applying for a cover from cover artists on Wattpad.

It's a little plain, but it suits your story. I can really see the connection you have with the title from the book. I suggest playing around with different titles for your story, then pick the one that appeals to you the most. I often find too that the best title will come to you while you're writing your story; whether it's a quote from your story or a symbolic item that you've included.

I like that you've kept the blurb pretty short and included the main plot. However, it can still be improved. You have a few grammar/spelling mistakes (such as mixing up "through" and "though"). Along with that, you have a lot of unnecessary detail that clutters your plotline and makes it hard to gather the main points of your story. What I've found to be the important points of your blurb was that Ainsley Mathews is an ex-pro surfer hiding a dark past and hidden secrets. But when Dawson Evans enters her life, she has to choose between pushing him away and opening her heart to more loss. I've basically written a blurb for your story in two sentences. You don't need to include the death of her friend and absent father; those can be included in an extended description once your reader clicks on the story. Along with that, try to add in as much figurative/sensory detail as you can. Experiment with metaphors or similes, and if you wanted, you could even add personification to the sea. You want to draw the reader in with captivating words, not just inform them what the story is about.

I love the descriptive language you've added in your hook. I can see that you've put a lot of thought into those first few sentences, and I got a great visual of the scene, setting, and your character! I just want to point out however that starting the story with the weather or starting a story describing the ocean is a cliche thing that so many writers love to do. I suggest writing several beginnings for your story and make them all as non-cliche as possible. Then, you can choose the one that appeals to you the most.

One thing I've noticed from reading your two chapters is that you tend to misuse your commas, or don't use them at all. You can research them for more information, but some basic rules to keep in mind are that commas are used to separate independent/dependent clauses or to list things. Always ask yourself why you're using a comma and see if your sentence is better with a comma or better by ending it with a period. Along with that, I've noticed a lot of tense slip-ups throughout your story. You frequently alternate between "said" and "say." You need to choose one tense to set for your story. I pointed a few out for you in your chapter reviews, but you need to go thoroughly throughout your chapters to find the rest on your own.

Unfortunately, I've seen way too many spelling errors while reading your first few chapters. I've only pointed out a few for you, but I guarantee that there are more. I suggest doing more research on frequently mixed up words such as "effect and affect" and "then and than." You can find writing sites that will point out any spelling/grammar errors in your writing, as well as introducing ways to tighten your sentences and provide new diction to enhance the reading experience for your readers.

Your story plot is almost exactly the same too many books I've seen on Wattpad. The only thing different about it is that it incorporates surfing in it. I've seen countless stories about girls with dark pasts being patched up by boys who enter their lives. How is your any different? What plot twists can you add to be more creative with your writing? Try experimenting with your plot. What can you change about it to attract new readers? Most people on Wattpad are tired of seeing the same kind of stories. So what do you have to offer them? I suggest developing your plot further to create a unique and original story.

I couldn't really get a feel for who Ainsley was. The only thing I have is her physical appearance. But what does she look like on the inside? You can slowly begin to uncover her personality by the way she speaks or the ways he acts around other people. I couldn't sense anything and I felt very disconnected to your story because of it. What personality traits did she get from her mother? What about her absentee father? And don't forget to add descriptions for the background characters as well. I only found two descriptions, and they were the main leads of your story. The side characters are just as important, and their personalities also need to be developed in this story.

You have a naturally beautiful writing voice. It flows nicely, and I enjoyed the descriptive language you've included. However, what sensory detail can you add? Imagery? How can you personify boring things around Ainsley? There's always room for improvement. With time, your writing voice will gradually improve on your own. Always be on the hunt to expand your vocabulary, and I also suggest reading other stories and seeing how writers incorporate their writing voice into the story.

This is something I've seen you really struggling with. You often repeated something several times before transitioning to a new scene, and I could tell that you were struggling with seamlessly transitioning without describing every action of Ainsley's day. Like I wrote above, you have a gorgeous writing voice; but you're using it on the wrong aspects of your story. We do not need to know what Ainsley eats for breakfasts, or what product she uses when she showers. Most of the information you've included in chapter one was irrelevant to the story and boring. I suggest editing these out. But don't get encouraged; I urge you to finish writing this story. As you go along, you'll find that transitioning into a new scene will become easier and easier.

In paragraph 4, you wrote that the thoughts in your head were washed away with the tide more than once. I suggest combining the two sentences, because this is awkward for the reader; it shows that there's been a little struggle in seamlessly transitioning from one sentence to the next.

"That was until a tragic accident ruined it all for me..." (paragraph 5). You're missing a comma here, and "was" should be "is" because the phrase "that is" should not be affected regardless of tense. Correction: "That is, until a tragic accident ruined it all for me..." Along with that, remember the rule, show, don't tell. You are telling the readers there was an accident. Can you be more creative with this? Maybe as she stared at the sand, memories began billowing inside her like the wind whipping her hair and suddenly, she wasn't looking at the sand anymore... Do you see what I mean? Seize this chance to show off your writing skills.

"I remember that day vividly." (paragraph 6). Your story is set in past tense, but you wrote this sentence in present tense. Correction: "I remembered that day vividly." Check your next sentence too, there's another tense slip-up.

"Crystal, who was my best friend of twelve years and myself had decided to go surfing on a particularly stormy day, we thought nothing of it as quite often the weather stations made the storms out to be a lot worse than they turned out to be." (paragraph 7). This is an unusually long sentence. This sentence can be separated into several sentences. Correction: "Crystal—who was my best friend for twelve years—and I had decided to go surfing on a particularly stormy day. We thought nothing of it as quite often, the weather stations made the storms out to be a lot worse than they turned out to be." Along with that, remember to show and not tell. How can you burn this image into the mind of your readers? Since this is a flashback, you could use a dialogue between Crystal and Ainsley. Not only would it be more interesting for your readers, but it would also establish a stable relationship between the two. Why should your readers care that Crystal died unless they know what type of person she was? If you want to invoke emotion and sympathy from your readers, let them have a glimpse of the victim first.

"The beach patrols had warned us about the dangers of going into the ocean but we ignored them because it was perfect conditions to grab a big one." (paragraph 8). You are missing a comma here. Usually, when there is a conjunction, it is accompanied by a comma. Correction: "The beach patrols had warned us about the dangers of going into the ocean, but we ignored them because it was the perfect condition to grab a big one." You have the same problem in your next sentence as well.

"'You know, a little birdy told me that you were recruited for the Chancier surf team.' she said..." (paragraph 9). You did a good job at not capitalizing "she" since it's not a new sentence. However, you ended the dialogue with a period, insinuating that "she said" was a new sentence. Correction: "'You know, a little birdy told me that you were recruited for the Chancier surf team,' she said..."

"I asked hoping onto my board in an attempt to catch up to her." (paragraph 10). You have a spelling error here. "Hoping" should be "hopping." Along with that, you are missing a comma that should be separating the two clauses.

In paragraph 13, you wrote, "'Bullshit.' She screams..." This sentence is inaccurate. By capitalizing "she" and ending the dialogue with a period, you are saying that "she screams" is a new sentence. However, that is not a sentence by itself, it is part of the dialogue. Along with that, you mixed up your tense here. Correction: "'Bullshit,' she screamed..."

In paragraphs 13 and 14, you randomly switched from past tense to present tense. Make sure to correct these mistakes.

"I was driving under the water looking for her and screaming for help at the top of my lungs." (paragraph 17). Don't you mean "dived" and not "drive?" Along with that, you are missing a comma and you could tighten your sentence. Correction: "I dived underwater, looking for her and screaming for help at the top of my lungs." I also wanted to point out that you can't really scream underwater, so you should clarify for your readers that she screamed at the top of her lungs when she broke the surface.

In paragraph 18, if Ainsley is having a thought, a suggestion would be to italicize it so your readers can read it clearly as a thought.

In paragraph 19, you have a run-on sentence. You're missing a lot of commas and it could be separated into several sentences. Try to go thoroughly throughout your chapters to tighten up these sentences and pull out unnecessary fillers.

In paragraph 20, you have several tense slip-ups. Can you find them?

In paragraph 29, "plea" should be "pleaded" since your story is set in past tense.

"I could no longer stand the beach and all of the fun the children were having because all that I could think of was her never touching the sand again." (paragraph 42). This is a run-on sentence. These clauses can be separated by commas and periods.

"After failing to find the button for a solid minute I turned on my side towards my bedside table." (paragraph 1). These are two separate clauses and therefore should be separated by a comma. Correction: "After failing to find the button for a solid minute, I turned on my side towards my bedside table."

You have the same problem in paragraph two; you are missing a comma in your sentence. Along with that, your writing can be tightened; you use a lot of unnecessary filler words.

"After Crystals death..." (paragraph 3). You are missing an apostrophe for Crystal's name, because you are saying that the death belonged to Crystal; it was her death. Correction: "After Crystal's death..."

In paragraph 3, you repeated what you already wrote in the prologue; about how Ainsley didn't go surfing anymore. Your readers already know this, so you don't need to remind them.

In paragraph 4, make sure to write out numbers. If you don't, your readers will see your writing as unprofessional and lazy.

You have a run-on sentence in paragraph 5. Correction: "The rest of my blankets gathered at my hips as I sat up, doing a quick stretch and yawning before reaching for my purple earbuds." Did you see how I've removed some words and details? Your readers don't need to know that the earbuds were on the ground. In fact, they don't need to know how the blankets gathered at Ainsley's hips. Try to preserve your descriptions for the important things.

"Morning mom" (paragraph 6). You are missing proper punctuation at the end of this sentence. Along with that, "mom" is used as a proper noun here; therefore, it should be capitalized. Correction: "'Morning, Mom,' I said..." Did you also notice the comma I've noticed?

You have a lot of unnecessary information about Ainsley's morning routine. Do we really need to know how she ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch and coffee out on the patio while scrolling through her phone? Your readers will find this kind of information boring. Remember that you aren't writing a diary. You don't need to write every single aspect of her day.

"I groan before sending back yes as my response." (paragraph 10). You have a tense slip-up here. Can you find it?

"I was in need of some money, I had to start saving up for college." (paragraph 10). You are missing conjunction here. Correction: "I was in need of some money, since I had to start saving up for college."

"'Ainsley.' She started he voice was quieter then normal." (paragraph 13). There are several things wrong with this sentence. First, you need to end the dialogue with a comma and not a period, since it's part of the entire sentence. Because "she started" is not a new sentence, it shouldn't be capitalized. You have a spelling error, and you've mixed up the word "than" with "then." Along with that, this sentence could be tighter. Correction: "'Ainsley,' she started, her voice quieter than normal."

"I said as I smile was placed on her face." (paragraph 14). Correction: "I said as a smile was placed on her face."

I see an unusual amount of passive voice in your writing. You often say that "a smile was placed on her face" and "a gentle breeze was rustling the leaves in a nearby bush." A better alternative would be to get rid of the passive voice and describe the action directly: "She smiled" or "a gentle breeze rustled the leaves in a nearby bush." By doing this, you will have more of an effect on your readers.

In paragraph 15, you have a lot of filler dialogues. Pleasantries such as "good morning" and "how's the weather today?" are fillers and your readers shouldn't have to read them. You have something similar going on in this paragraph.

In paragraph 17, make sure to write out numbers.

"I threw my dishes into the dishwasher, before grabbing an apple and heading upstairs to my room." (paragraph 17). Is this sentence really necessary? Does it contribute to the plot in any way?

Again, are the words that you wrote in paragraph 19 necessary? I don't need to know what kind of shampoo Ainsley or body wash she used. Try to transition into different scenes without making pointless statements.

You don't need to write a whole paragraph about Ainsley deciding to stop showering and toweling off. You can just start the next scene with, "After showering and drying off..."

In paragraph 22, your reader does not need to know how much makeup and what kind of makeup Ainsley uses.

In paragraph 23, you have a lot of missing commas. Along with that, your readers don't want to learn about how Ainsley does her hair. They came here for the plot, not her everyday activities. You wouldn't write about Ainsley going to the bathroom because it's unnecessary, right? The same applies here.

Most of your chapter consisted of Ainsley's daily routine. It's boring and doesn't contribute to the plot at all. This isn't what your readers came for. I suggest editing most of it out and focus more about getting to the climax of your story.

"'Ainsley.' The manager said acknowledging my presence." (paragraph 30). The dialogue should end in a comma because this is one whole sentence. Along with that, you are missing a comma. Correction: "'Ainsley,' the manager said, acknowledging my presence."

"Welcome to Joeys." (paragraph 32). There should be an apostrophe for "Joeys." Correction: "Welcome to Joey's."

I enjoyed the gentle build-up from chapter one after your prologue violently left me shook! You have lovely descriptions and I can tell you put a lot of thought into these chapters. I suggest turning your focus away from Ainsley's daily activities and to the real action so your readers don't get bored.