I know the layout and format of a poem might not seem significant for other people, but for poets, the way you lay out your poem is everything. Here, I really enjoyed the way you lay out your poem with no punctuation or capitalization; it adds to the aesthetic of your writing and emphasizes each word you say. The enjambment (lack of punctuation) is a nice way to keep your poem flowing, but don't be afraid to add periods or commas to leave your readers hanging on for the next word.

I like your first line, but I've found it to be a common phrase used in poems. "Velvet touch" is becoming cliche among poets. Don't be afraid to tie in this moment with a word that most writers wouldn't use. It's all about the emotion put into the words. A brilliant author could write a poem about a toothbrush and make it seem emotional. I feel like your first line could be dramatized in a way to hook in your readers at the first letter of the first word. What other diction can you apply? Have you tried experimenting with different first lines? How does your poem end, and how can you cleverly tie that in with your beginning? Even starting with an onomatopoeia (sound words) can set the scene with the point of view and bottle of alcohol. For example:

drip

drip

drip

I'm sorry, but I just had to waste this space to write a first line example with the format, or else it wouldn't have had the effect it did. Can you see how I've laid out the words? There are a million different ways to start your poem, and if you take the time, you can find the perfect one.

I enjoyed the way you swept away your reader with your strong words, often accompanied with how you separated your sentences to add effect. However, there were a few words I found could be replaced with something stronger or something that would provoke more emotion in your readers. For example, the word "randomly" feels out of place in your poem. If you can't find any synonyms for "randomly" that fits with your poem, you can always replace it with an emotion, such as "somberly." It would be a nice way to personify the light clicking on in the hallway. Always be hunting for new words to add to your vocabulary, and it will really enhance your writing.

I love your last line. It ties into the theme of your poem and the title, and has an air of finality that leaves your readers breathless. I really have nothing else to say here because you've nailed it.

Again, your layout here is beautiful. But don't be afraid to experiment with the format. Since this poem here is based on the interruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD, you can incorporate that theme

into

your

writing

like

this

Or anything, really. Your readers might imagine your words as though built from the ashes and soot, and you want to give them the impression that your words are floating around as though meaningless; but really demanding to be read, one at a time.

I love your first line, "79 AD." I'll admit that it's very simplified and short, but it's also mysterious and your readers won't know what you mean until you delve deeper into the poem. It pretty much sums up the topic/theme of your poem.

I really like how you used the exclamation mark in your poem; it fit in perfectly. Along with that, the diction you've used here ties in perfectly with the theme of your poem. I love how you used words and phrases such as "clouds of ink" and "suffocated" to put the image of a fallen home into the minds of your readers. Of course, there's always room for improvement. Words such as "scared" and "disturbing" can be replaced with "petrified," "panic-stricken," and/or "derange" and "disordering."

Again, your last line is beautiful. It ties up the poem neatly while still provoking emotion within your readers. Excellent job!

Again, don't be afraid to play around with the layout here. Experiment with different sentence lengths and paragraphs. Find the best way to enhance your writing for your readers.

I like your first line because it is solid and sets the beginning for your poem. I felt like you could make it better. Try writing several first lines and find the one you like the most. You could write one with figurative language, or you could just start it off with one word. There will never be a perfect piece of writing; there will always be room for improvements, no matter what. But you can always work to make your writing the best it can be at that moment.

I loved the diction and phrases you've used throughout your poem. For example, "traces of despair and false hope in your bloodstream" G O L D . I loved all the figurative language you've used. One thing I've noticed through reading your poems is that you didn't have a lot of similes or metaphors. Don't be afraid to incorporate that into your writing. Along with that, try to weave some personification in there to make your readers weep.

I love your last line. It really had me thinking of the possibilities in this world. It was hauntingly beautiful as well. I know how scary it might be to show your vulnerable side and feelings through this poem, but you did a gorgeous job of it, and I'm glad you have writing as a way to express how you feel.

I feel like you already know what I'm going to say here, so I'll not say it.

Your first line immediately sets the scene and setting and mood of your poem. As soon as I read the first line, I knew there was going to be a "but" attached to it. You started building up the tension right from the start. Well done.

Again, I love the way you use your diction, because I can get a feel of who you are as a person behind the computer. I see a defined writing style I don't get from other people, and I love that. Still, you can broaden your horizons. What kinds of imagery and sensory detail can you add in this poem? I understand that in this poem, it's irrelevant to describe a chair, but if you tie together some imagery and personification, you can use the chair as a crutch to explain the mood in the household. Maybe the chair holding the coat is dusty and lonely looking, representing the relationship between the two people featured in your poem. Along with that, I feel like many of the lines in this poem can be restructured. How can you rewrite these phrases to be more memorable and expressive? There were a few moments where you repeated the same thing using different words. You want to make every single line of your poem to stand out.

I definitely like the last line of your poem. It was hauntingly sad and expressive, ending on a bitter note. I felt like this ending could be improved. Hearts "beating in sync" is a very cliche phrase. What other way can you word this? How can you end this poem with something your readers hadn't seen before?

Always try to surprise your readers. There are so many formats you can use to lay out your poem. You can even skip a few lines before writing the next line, if only to let the silence marinate in the air for a while. You can also look up poem formats on the internet and take inspiration from how other writers lay out their writing.

I was a little confused by your first line. It's beautiful, but are their other ways you can start off the poem? I always recommend writing several first lines, then choose the one that appeals to you best. Of course, if you're stuck on how to start your story, just skip the first line and start from the middle. Often, you'll discover your first line through your ending.

I found a lot of beautiful descriptions and diction choices in the middle of your poem, but what about from the beginning? How can you structure these lines to really stand out for your readers? I also found some repetition through your words. I suggest either lengthening your lines, or taking out a few unnecessary fillers. Also, try playing around with the length of your poems. Not all of them have to be the same lengths. Often, you can write a short and meaningful poem with only one sentence, and your readers could cry from the beauty of it.

That last line hit me hard. This was so sad, and even though I literally just wrote above that it's okay for a poem to be shorter, I wanted yours to never end. You did a good job at keeping me until the end, and I won't likely be able to forget this one anytime soon.

This is the first poetry book that I've reviewed through my critique shop, and I found it to be an enlightening experience! I learned so much about your writing style and expressive emotions displayed through your text, and it was beautiful to read, and beautiful to write about. Your poems were and are utterly human, and it really had me connecting to your writing.