《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: You Get What You Wish For
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You Get What You Wish For
ScreamingTumbleweed
Horror, Thriller, Supernatural, Non-Fiction
The cover is your stereotype horror cover. The color of the font is really hard on my eyes, but I'm bad with the color red.
To be honest your summary didn't attract my attention, but the part saying this actually happened to you did.
Tell us about the night. Who is Jessica?(OHHHHH, I get it now)
When you say "The cup was not as empty as we left it to be." Try to say that differently, I didn't know what you were saying till I read more.
At first I was a little confused, but I get it. The ghost is manipulating him using his mom and Jessica.
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!
4 💙💙💙💙
OH MY FREAKIN GOD!!!! This is the best thing I've ever read, in horror. I'm not a big horror fan. But I do watch paranormal shows. I do suggest getting a new cover. Try going to Clubs-Multimedia, there are people there who can make you an amazing cover. I'm not sure what, but your summary is missing something. As I said above, the only thing that really hooked me was "this really happened to me." But now I need to know are you, "I" or Peter. Also, are you going to explain in the future if you and Peter did what you did because of the spirit?
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial21 Chapters
The Top Six
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On a lush planet known as Bhar, Verun is now the leading nation in the development of the rivaled schools of Magic and Science. Having brought forth an era of peace and prosperity for themselves through the development of Magitech, The High council was eager to spread their knowledge and beliefs to the furthest reaches of the continent, with the goal of ending senseless conflicts and prioritizing advancements in Magitech and improving the quality of life. This ambition, however, is not without opposition. Most followers side with one school or another, believing it is superior in nature. This conflict dates back to the very beginning of civilization itself, where it is believed by both sides that their gods descended from the heavens, bestowing upon them the knowledge that would bring the world into a new age. And though some took great interest in their differences, others would seek to convert each other through any means necessary. That being the case, The High council, leaders of Verun, had made the necessary preparations to handle threats and attempt diplomacy between the remaining opposers. Talented volunteers were hand chosen to be among the military, tasked with protecting the nation from both internal and external threats. And although non-biological creations have improved quality of life, they are not yet capable of replacing the military. The necessary research and development for such a thing was thought to be decades away, until Councilman Eranor encountered an anomaly in his facility…
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Newyears day 2018
Ano ba talaqa ang ibig sabihin ng new years day?Compulsory ba talaqa ito o Hindi?masaya ba ito o Hindi?just read my short story about my new years 2018. Story
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