《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: You Get What You Wish For
Advertisement
You Get What You Wish For
ScreamingTumbleweed
Horror, Thriller, Supernatural, Non-Fiction
The cover is your stereotype horror cover. The color of the font is really hard on my eyes, but I'm bad with the color red.
To be honest your summary didn't attract my attention, but the part saying this actually happened to you did.
Tell us about the night. Who is Jessica?(OHHHHH, I get it now)
When you say "The cup was not as empty as we left it to be." Try to say that differently, I didn't know what you were saying till I read more.
At first I was a little confused, but I get it. The ghost is manipulating him using his mom and Jessica.
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!
4 💙💙💙💙
OH MY FREAKIN GOD!!!! This is the best thing I've ever read, in horror. I'm not a big horror fan. But I do watch paranormal shows. I do suggest getting a new cover. Try going to Clubs-Multimedia, there are people there who can make you an amazing cover. I'm not sure what, but your summary is missing something. As I said above, the only thing that really hooked me was "this really happened to me." But now I need to know are you, "I" or Peter. Also, are you going to explain in the future if you and Peter did what you did because of the spirit?
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial27 Chapters
Palus Somni
It is the final days after the end of the world and you only have one month left before the last sanctuary erupts into chaos. There's a dead body hanging from a tree and cadaverous giants watch you sleep at night. The end is already here, you just don't know it yet. Now rated in the top 3% of all novels on Royal Road! Palus Somni (‘Marsh of Sleep’) is a worldbuilding webnovel about what happens when your God forsakes you. Inspired by gothic horror and mingled with British myth and folklore, join the Alucinari nuns as they struggle with day-to-day life after the world has ended. Every night when the sun sets the monstrous Gol, colossal beings with too many teeth, awaken and roam the marshlands. Only those with a faithful heart will be spared. Young acolyte Wille has never seen the walls fail, but when a fellow nun is murdered within their sanctum the very safety of the monastery is thrown into question. Did the Gol find a way to breach their defences, or is there a human traitor amongst them? The answer lies both far in the past and deep beneath the earth, through the maze of ancient catacombs. With a cast of over thirty different characters, watch as your friends and enemies spiral into inevitable madness at the hands of a callous and unforgiving world. Discover the secrets of Palus Somni through letters, diary entries and notes found scattered across the monastery. Uncover the mystery of the grotesque giants that stalk the night and bring your challenge to the Gods themselves. Each character has their own handmade pixel art, and every update includes a music recommendation for a dark atmospheric dungeon synth album that you can listen to while you read. Slice of life meets cosmic abomination: Palus Somni is a collection of intertwining stories, some chapters are stand-alone tales while others feed into the overarching narrative. It is an exploration into a community, and rather than focusing on any one character the story meanders through the convent, exposing the hopes and fears of its inhabitants. Story updates every full moon.
8 54 - In Serial18 Chapters
The Rise of an Armament Emperor
A survival of a human boy who has escaped alive from a calamity and the adventure of him reaching the pinnacle!"Why? Why? WHY!?""More! More! More! I need more strength to protect everyone!""I'll never leave you behind even if my limbs been cut off!""This is all you got? Then OUT OF MY WAY! You don't even have the qualification to fight me.""Die"Hira, a boy from a small village that has been blessed with a peaceful environment and top-grade talent . But without any warning his daily life has been destroyed by the sudden attack of the demons and has been thrown into the abyss. With zero knowledge about the world, he stand up and want to find the way to survive!Schedule Release: Every week will have a guaranteed five chapter released.
8 152 - In Serial10 Chapters
Wandering the World
The year is 2028 it's been 9 years since the Great War that saw most of the world nuked. A world government has now been set up to prevent anymore wars. After a tragic event Stan is seeking revenge, but against who? Find out more about this crazy world with Stan and his two homies, Dariűse, and Quiet. Who have their own beefs with this crazy world they live in. (Sorry for the way it's written this will eventually be a comic book. This is just the written out version.)
8 59 - In Serial46 Chapters
The Invasion
The coasts have always been peaceful, until the waters revolt against the land.In 2047, long-term marine pollution has altered the genetics of aquatic organisms, turning them into bloodthirsty monsters. The Loch Ness, the Krakens... these mythical beings have become a reality. They leave the seas one day to ravage the land and prey on humans.Delia's a normal high schooler, until she witnesses the death of her schoolmates, and finds herself thrown into a world of bloodshed and terror. While escaping from the creatures, she finds herself stuck in a shelter full of strangers. But how long can they stay safe before danger comes knocking on their door? Delia faces troubles at every turn and soon realizes that she can't hide her deepest secret forever, especially after a creature saves her. How long can she fight for her survival as she watches the world perish before her eyes?(Content Warning: The story contains some gore, suicide, violence and dark themes.)Copyright © 2021-2022 by Kim_Knights===========================================Highest ranking: #6 in Teen Fiction#3 in Horror#46 in Romance===========================================(Current word count: 70,000 - 80,000 )
8 212 - In Serial25 Chapters
Piece By Piece
Y/n Maximoff- One of the triplets. Experimented on by Hydra along with her brother and sister, she gained incredible and dangerous powers. Pietro's death in the battle against Ultron crushed Y/n and her sister, but while everyone comforted Wanda, Y/n was blamed for his death. She had watched, as a her big brother by 31 minutes ran to save Clint and a child, knowing he would be filled with bullets. As her brother was being a hero and sacrificing himself, Y/n watched, frozen in fear, as he died. It didn't even cross her mind to use her powers to protect him. Now, six months later, Bucky joins the group, and to Y/n's surprise, actually speaks to her. Against the Avenger's advice and warnings of Y/n being a traitor and coward, Bucky grows close to her. They grow to comfort each other and slowly, heal each other. However, as Y/n's mental state slowly unravels itself, it begins to look like not even Bucky can save her from herself.
8 130 - In Serial31 Chapters
A King's Queen: a Harry X Voldemort|Tom
AU: You are born with your soulmate's name on your wrist.You may be King, but watch the Queen conquer.Hadrian was fearless and crazier than him. He was his Queen and Merlin help anybody who disrespected his Queen.When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence that is felt through a hand held, a voice heard, or a smile seen. Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another. This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are not there- even if they are only in the very next room. Your soul only feels their absence- it doesn't realize the separation is temporary.Once a deep and powerful connection between two people has been made they become a vital part of each other lives. No measure of distance or duration of silence can prevent the outbreak of smiles and laughter or strong desire to leap into each other's arms.Harry Potter -since he was born- has been denied finding out his soulmate's name. Since he can remember his parents have forced him to wear a bracelet on his wrist to cover the name. On day, he gets fed up being lied to and takes a peek; it reads "Tom Marvolo Riddle/Lord Voldemort."Top Rankings:#582 in Fanfiction 8/27/17#1 in Tomarry 8/24/18#4 in Harrymort 6/14/18
8 198

