《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: A Date With Danger
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A Date With Danger
madisueb
Fantasy, Adventure, Romance, Space, Time travel
It's nice and sweet, but it didn't really catch my eye.
WOW!! I do suggest to use man instead of boy. When people say, boy, I think of 8-15 year old.
OH MY GAWWWWD!!! Since reading your other zodiac book, I'm so excited for this one. IT'S HIS DAD!!!! OMG!! There were only two things needing fixing. (I commented them on your story)
4 💙💙💙💙
All is already said. If I have time I will read on. Keep Writing.
Hamilton was all I could think of when reading this "MY SHOT" "I'm not throwing away, MY SHOT!" AHAHHHH!
Rate from 1-5
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1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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