Maiden Heart Zwei

Canislupus54

Fantasy, Magic, Adventure, Swords, (Fanfiction)

Needs a cover....

It's simple, but not enough. Also you should probably mention more for people who don't know the anime, Maiden Heart Zwei Tri.

I really liked this. The imaginary was on point and you didn't have unnecessary information. I do suggest though you put for the break 'Years later' or 'in the far city of {Blank}' I got a little confused when it switched over.

Good, Good. I really enjoyed this chapter. I can see potential with this story. I have a feeling you enjoy this story. I notice your writing is a bit different in this one compared to 'The Elf Princess'. You should maybe say sooner that she is a squire and explain what a squire is.

3.5 💙💙💙

I really wanted to give a 4 so 3.5 . You need a cover. Your summary needs some fixing. Your prologue was good except for the break, explain why the view changed from Lucia to Ellie. Chapter 1 was amazing. This is actually the first story that is in third person that I can understand. I have a hard time understanding Third Person. If I have the time I might read on. Keep Writing.

Rate from 1-5

💙💙💙💙💙

1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing

2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice

3: Good/Needs a little editing

4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on

5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on