《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Elusive Eternity
Advertisement
Elusive Eternity
WoodNymphWarrior
Mystery, Action, Fantasy, Thriller, Teen Fiction
LOVE IT. It's mysterious.
To be honest... What did I just read??? I didn't understand most of the words. If your audience is Teens keep in mind their vocabulary. I feel like something is missing...
WOW!!
4 💙💙💙💙
To be honest I was going to give you a three due to your summary and I thought your first chapter wasn't going to be good, but WOW!! You have surprised me. Your first chapter is powerful and strikes the clear message of this story. I LOVE the detail you gave for the restaurant, but I don't remember you describing Mrs. Nathans. I would like to how she looks. There was one part that confused me; I wrote you a comment within your story. Due to this being a new story, it's okay for the summary to not be that great. Some summaries don't get good till you realize more to your story. I might read on, if I have the time. Keep Writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial25 Chapters
Medium Meld (Naruto/Gamer, OC)
After waking up on a beach, abandoned so very far from home, Sora sets out on a mission to save himself and the rest of the world in the process. The only problem is, in order to do that, Akatsuki must die. With a complete lack of chakra, a familiar system driving his growth, and his sparkling personality at the helm, what could possibly go wrong?
8 190 - In Serial26 Chapters
Borrowed Time
When his laboratory is attacked, Rory, a young researcher, manages to escape with the help of a curious new device reverse-engineered from alien technology. Four hundred years later, he finds himself neither in Utopia nor in a desolate wasteland, but an entire medieval-esque society. With knowledge and technology at his side, he attempts to reconstruct human civilization—but he's running on borrowed time.
8 203 - In Serial9 Chapters
The Avaricious Merchant System
In a moment of boredom, a sickly youth finds that he possesses a System. A Merchant system. The System promises him immortality if he follows its advice. While the youth is not interested in becoming the greatest merchant to ever exist and while being tantalized by the prospect of immortality, he remains cool-headed despite the amount of pain he receives because of his system even to the point of being swindled out of his hard-earned money by it.Follow Clyde Dominic, the second prince of the Dominic kingdom, as he strives to work hard in the hopes of living a leisurely immortal life.
8 222 - In Serial33 Chapters
Beyond Tomorrow
The galactic war has shaken the galaxy since prehistory, but mankind knew nothing of it. Like most of the truths of the universe, it was kept secret. Among the travelers arriving in New Westminster in 1879 is Cylas Renford of Indiana, a man seeking his fortune after trying a long string of trades. His new friend and companion, Morninghawk, warns him of strange occurrences in the wilderness and the myth of a secret people, but Cylas fails to heed the warnings. An innocent walk in the woods and a series of coincidences will bring Cylas face to face with criminals, monsters, startling weapons, the secret people, and will culminate in being propelled Beyond Tomorrow. Written in the tradition of American dime novels of the 19th century and the planetary fantasies of Edgar Rice Burroughs, Beyond Tomorrow is a pulpy first person tale of adventure in a future where the world itself has become an alien place. This LGBTQ adventure has a gay male protagonist and is non-explicit, in keeping with 19th century pulp writing. This work has been broken into sub-chapters for its posting here and will be updated regularly.
8 98 - In Serial60 Chapters
•Yoonkook•
A compilation of yoonkook moments
8 168 - In Serial43 Chapters
Claiming of the Demon King (ICS Book One)
Purchased by the Demon King, Victoria O'Hare is thrown into the world of the immortal. Brutal and ruled by instinct, the Demon King comes to her in the dark, filling her world with pleasure and fear.Cursed and broken, King Sebastian struggles to control his inner demon. He now owns a sweet little beauty. One who calls to him in the darkness. One he could kill in an instant.Victoria struggles to show Sebastian there is more to him than his brutal nature. Despite his curse, Sebastian is tempted to accept all Victoria has to offer.When a desperate werewolf and an evil army threaten war, King Sebastian must accept what he is and protect the woman he loves...if his inner demon doesn't kill her first.
8 106
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
