《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Elusive Eternity
Advertisement
Elusive Eternity
WoodNymphWarrior
Mystery, Action, Fantasy, Thriller, Teen Fiction
LOVE IT. It's mysterious.
To be honest... What did I just read??? I didn't understand most of the words. If your audience is Teens keep in mind their vocabulary. I feel like something is missing...
WOW!!
4 💙💙💙💙
To be honest I was going to give you a three due to your summary and I thought your first chapter wasn't going to be good, but WOW!! You have surprised me. Your first chapter is powerful and strikes the clear message of this story. I LOVE the detail you gave for the restaurant, but I don't remember you describing Mrs. Nathans. I would like to how she looks. There was one part that confused me; I wrote you a comment within your story. Due to this being a new story, it's okay for the summary to not be that great. Some summaries don't get good till you realize more to your story. I might read on, if I have the time. Keep Writing.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
The Runesmith
What happens when a man gets transported into a foreign world filled with magic?Will his knowledge in hardware technology help him out after he discovers its correlation to the words of power?How will he fit in with the other noble houses as the lowly 4th son?How will his story play out in a world where stats and skills equal power and status?Come and find out as we embark on his journey.
8 438The Flamelight Chronicles
This is a fantasy novel with a unique magic system. Imagine if Eragon, Kingkiller Chronicles, Benjamin Ashwood, and more had a weird group baby-- that's this book! It's like a coming of age high fantasy novel. Eligor is born into a world where everyone has magic. Your status in life is based on two things: your bloodline and your magical power. To Eli, who lost his parents, was born in a small town named Stathen--in which not a single person of true nobility lives-- and is the only person who seems to have no magical power, the world seems perfectly unfair. That is until one day everything goes horribly wrong and perfectly right.
8 61The Philosopher Queen
When the Queen herself decides to set a young dissident straight, she spills her guts and reveals the truth about her meteoric rise to power. Fantasy/cyberpunk.
8 186A Boku No Hero fiction
Given a second chance in life. Who would not take it? Well maybe not billionaire or someone like Elon Musk but our mc is not someone like that! A normal person given the chance and power to live a free life. But will he though? P/s : A novice writer! Suck at grammar cause like English ain't me first language but do take a look at my stuff! Please dont be too mean, okay? Im a delicate flower TT3TT
8 54The Swarm
The Swarm – a world spanning empire – feared by everything and everyone. Endless glory and food to all! No sickness, no poverty, no depression and no allies. Truly, the perfection of life! However, nothing lasts forever; not even the Swarm... The cowardly major races teamed up in an unprecedented alliance to fight the Swarm, but even that was not enough. What brought true doom to the Swarm came from the inside: a high-ranking General’s betrayal! An action that was more shocking than all the other races putting their differences aside and joining together. The Swarm’s strength came from their unity and this shook them to the core. The various Kings and Queens led their armies separately as a result, nullifying their greatest advantage – numbers! Only when the war was all but lost, did the Swarm finally reunite again for one last stand. Afterwards, only one Queen survived, and she would do anything to restore the Swarm to its former glory – even asking one of those 'Gods' for help. To reform the Swarm, a new leader must arise. No, not just any leader – the Emperor must return!---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Other stories by me: World of Conquest: http://www.royalroadl.com/fiction/1513Slime Hero Saga: http://www.royalroadl.com/fiction/1415Hunter, Adam Hunter. Electrician: http://www.royalroadl.com/fiction/1765
8 136Which way is my home
This is the story of Cyan, your average guy that while he was sleeping in his bed down with sickness, being force to stay home and rest by his mother, he missed his first day of school, that same day he was summoned to another world of sword and magic, dragged without any previous notice, he will have to learn to fend for himself if he want to survive and go back home. Without the special lecture from a cute angel and only the cheat’s (wishes) granted by the gods of both worlds (that he don't know he have), loss, he will begin a journey to find a way home.
8 114