The Mourir Conflict

AnonEMauss

Mystery, Love

(I think you already know) *Covers eyes*

The first paragraph I really like. The second paragraph though pushed me away. Maybe try to find another way to interpret the second paragraph to fit better.

: First off. Choose between which Point of View you want. There was 3rd and 1st. I do like the words.

Good start. I did have to reread the first few paragraphs over and over to fully understand (I might just be me though). I feel like there is something missing in this chapter. Try reading it over and over and even out loud.

2 💙💙

1st the cover; Ouch

2nd I like the title, but maybe in the summary add what Mourir means. Do you mean memoir? Google says ' Mourir is French for 'Die'. 🤔

3rd Read over your 1st chapter

4th 1st person or 3rd for the Prologue

I can tell this story does have potential. I do love Romance. I'm a sucker for it, so I might read on.

Rate from 1-5

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1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing

2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice

3: Good/Needs a little editing

4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on

5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on