《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: The Mourir Conflict
Advertisement
The Mourir Conflict
AnonEMauss
Mystery, Love
(I think you already know) *Covers eyes*
The first paragraph I really like. The second paragraph though pushed me away. Maybe try to find another way to interpret the second paragraph to fit better.
: First off. Choose between which Point of View you want. There was 3rd and 1st. I do like the words.
Good start. I did have to reread the first few paragraphs over and over to fully understand (I might just be me though). I feel like there is something missing in this chapter. Try reading it over and over and even out loud.
2 💙💙
1st the cover; Ouch
2nd I like the title, but maybe in the summary add what Mourir means. Do you mean memoir? Google says ' Mourir is French for 'Die'. 🤔
3rd Read over your 1st chapter
4th 1st person or 3rd for the Prologue
I can tell this story does have potential. I do love Romance. I'm a sucker for it, so I might read on.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial47 Chapters
Ultimate Cultivation Support
Their old world had fallen. The Devourer had won. In a last ditch effort to prevent others from destruction, a group of cultivation masters combined their souls, and sent them across the stars. This story follows the journey of Mingwei, inheritor of their soul, will and memories. He will use their mastery of cultivation alchemy, forging-itemmaking, rituals and formations, and prevent his new world from falling.
8 143 - In Serial25 Chapters
HAVEN: THE SKY SCRAPER
The war has been going on for ten years now, and quite frankly Daniel is sick of it. The big players in the war are slowly moving in, with one exception acting as a peace keeper and remaining neutral, 'Haven', but how long for? Daniel along with his friend Thomas are following orders from one battlefield to the next, slowly watching their homeland get destroyed. By chance he comes across a soldier from Haven and joins him in his search for the illusive war machine, the Sky Scraper.
8 206 - In Serial16 Chapters
PartyO4
In PartyO4, you take on the role of Liel Alluvia, freshly minted wizard as she cuts her teeth in the adventuring trade with her three guildmates. Carve your heroic path through the wild lands of Gruend. Forge friendships, and avert calamity as you unwravel the plot to force two large nations into a destructive war. Come make suggestions for Liel's actions at partyo4.wordpress.com
8 115 - In Serial21 Chapters
I have reach boundless infinity as a good for nothing. Now I want to restart in another world being the ultimate genius.
Just a random story guys. Just another of my OP stories but this time with cultivation.
8 314 - In Serial11 Chapters
Evolved: The Apocalypse of White Light
Human was once top of the food chain because of their high intelligence and the ability to build high end weapons to protect themselves from the other dangerous species. Through trials and errors and many years of experimentation we cemented our status as the dominant species. Not because we were strong individually but because we were extraordinary when united, nothing was impossible when we combine our collective strengths and talents. For so long we have ruled as tyrants in Earth, destroying and creating something on a whim. Many species has been extinct because of us humans. But the winds has shifted and normal is about to be flipped upside down.Power is key in surviving.Lemrods adventure is now about to start.
8 113 - In Serial38 Chapters
RotTMNT Oneshots and Headcanons
Says in the title.
8 117

