《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: The Bad Boy's Secret
Advertisement
The Bad Boy's Secret
Not_Just_Anonymous
Humor, Love, Super hero, adventure
LOVE IT. A little generic, but I like it.
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic, states there is a love interest and this story will have a different touch.
very good. I love the break of the 4th wall which is somewhat hard to do in writing novels. I like how the super powers aren't over the top powers. I do like how its written. (1st person) I do worry though about how the main character is to be 15? I feel he acts too mature for that age. I enjoy the humor and how he already realizes his mistakes. There are minimal errors. One of your readers actually commented where they are (Even though some I don't fully agree with. Hiddenly, is not a real word. Posh smosh. Shakespeare made up words).
4 💙💙💙💙
Mostly due to generic cover, the chapter was long (of all my years on Wattpad. It is suggested to do no more than 500 words per chapter). I actually might read on (if I find the time 😭)
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2: Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4: Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial70 Chapters
Lever Action
Charlie Norwood, a goblin-exterminating bounty hunter working in the frontier desert, finds herself embroiled in conspiracy when she stumbles across some gnomish warmechs chasing down an elven prince. A Fantasy Western. [Participant in the Royal Road Writathon Challenge]
8 118 - In Serial158 Chapters
Nero Zero
Monsters plagued the lands for too long. No matter if one had fangs, beak, teeth, skin, fur, or feather, or was tall, stout, or diminutive, the people suffered. Until the Gadgeteers came with a device that could allow people to fight back. Powered by one's own magical power, feeding off of monster Essence, the Arbitrium bracer turned the tables. It also changed society. Strength of one's level cap was all that mattered. The strongest were Kings and Emperors. The weak or those too poor to afford the marvelous device, destitute. And so it has been for millennia. All that mattered was one's level cap. High, low, a fate decided the moment the strange contraption came alive. Too high and you were a threat to those interested in keeping the status quo, a weed to be nipped before it could grow and take root. Too low and you were nobody, fated to be a bit more than a simple farmer. What if someone, somewhere, came up with a zero for their level cap? Unable to use Essence, unable to level up. On all of recorded history, it never happened. Until it did. In a small village of fur-less and tail-less ape-beastkin, a boy found out he was uniquely handicapped. Nero's level cap was Zero. But he'd never let that stop him from reaching his goals. ------------------------------------------------ All stories have already been told. We merely reuse elements from them. From Joseph Campbell's Monomith to Stephen King's advice, and that encyclopedia of tropes you've visited, fiction has been dissected and reassembled countless times. One will surely find elements inspired on other works here. Just like cooking from basic ingredients, the recipe and presentation is what really matter. This is a fantasy adventure, of someone that goes from a zero to a slightly bigger zero. It will have romance but no harem. Cruelty but with hope dimly shining ahead. Lightweight where it can be, heavy where it must. Thanks for reading. Cover Credits (The cover is CC-BY-NC-SA): Steampunk Spider Bracer, by Daniel Proulx. CC-BY-NC-SA Picture Frame, @anaterate, Pixabay license. Some odds and bits from here and there.
8 262 - In Serial14 Chapters
Time Travel System
One day Nathan got the system with the ability to time travel.
8 121 - In Serial248 Chapters
Dreamland
Dolores is a lucky girl with a high-level avatar in a very popular game. She did not level it up; she got it through some fortunate circumstances. She is not interested in fighting and levelling; all she wants is to have some fun and follow her own fantasies. If only there would not be all those idiots who intend to kill her, capture her, or simply use her. And those flaws in the game! Wait, what? Those pesky game characters now appear in the real world? And they can do magic? How did this happen? Adding to her troubles, her crush does not even look at her. As Dolores tries only to survive and hide between 'normal' people, she encounters stranger and stranger things that force her hand and, in the end, she has the answers to a lot of questions. It is a slow-developing story. I had a lot of fun writing it and hope to share it with you, dear reader if you also enjoy it. On the other hand, putting it in an acceptable form requires much work and energy. I intend to bring it to its end and not let it unfinished. I hate it when I encounter unfinished stories, so I understand the feeling. This is not a classical isekai story. There is travel between the two worlds, and the game world seems to be so very real... well, this is one plot of the story. This is not an MMORP game story. Part of the action happens inside a game world, but it is treated as a real world. Updates on a weekly basis, at least Monday and Friday, with additional bonus chapters as time and energy allow. Cover art: White Flower as A Dark Fairy by Darkrealmsmaiden Yolanda gracefully allowed me to use her dark fairy as cover. There are many more beautiful works of art to be discovered at her site: https://www.deviantart.com/darkrealmsmaiden Additional Grammar Trigger Warning: As a non-native speaker, I do my best. Unfortunately, this is not enough for people with a low tolerance for warped sentences and... they may want to skip the story :( Well, you have been warned :) I appreciate it when a reader points out a sentence that needs rework. That may spare a follow-up reader some pain and helps me understand where my English grammar problems are. * We thought we made the best game in Earth's history We thought we made the best interfaces ever seen We thought we made it - lifelike But it far exceeded our expectations. Dolores, I hope you're happy now. I hope you're alive now...
7.91 277 - In Serial63 Chapters
NEW LIFE
[COMPLETE]Thirteen year old Emilia has been through a lot in the past, from having her mother take her from her family to then having a new stepdad that wasn't too fond of her. Beat after beat and punishments after the next, she still pulls through. Just a few months before her 13th birthday, Emila's mother died from her battle with cancer leaving her in the care of her stepdad. Something happens which leaves her in the care of the mystery brothers she never knew she had. This means she has to move across the country to a completely new life with a lot of secrets. Did I mention that it was six brothers that she does not remember? She has trouble with creating a bond with them due to her past traumatic life. Walk with Emilia and her journey into discovering love with a handful of wicked betrayals.************#10 - teen fiction 28/4/2021 #1 - abuse 16/7/20#7 - bad boy 26/11/20 #1 - violence 14/11/20 #1 - death 11/11/20 #3 - mafia 15/10/20 #1 - scared 12/5/21#2 - young 23/1/21#1 - gangs 28/3/21#2 - life changing 26/6/21#3 - siblings 28/4/21#4 - humour 12/5/21The first few chapters are TERRIBLE so you have been warned right now. ⚠️ there is cussing in this story and has mentions of abuse and violence. If you are not comfortable with this, you can leave if you like. This can be triggering. Be aware of spelling errors, I apologise for the errors, I will try to edit as much as I can. Cover by @cannalinnie First published on | 26th June 2020Finished on | 12th March 2021 [WORD COUNT: 340,000-350,000]
8 157 - In Serial6 Chapters
COTE Reacción a Vida Pacífica
Fanfic of reaction, but it will not be about the one we all know, but of reaction to Vida PacificaThis is my first reaction fic, I hope you like itIt will be a reaction to my other story, how the COTE characters would react to a world where Kiyotaka has a Peaceful Life, I invite you to read my other fic first to avoid spoilers!!
8 179
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
