My name is Zixin and I am 17 years of age. My appearance is simple. I have black hair and dark brown eyes that often appear to be black. My hair is short but messy and my front bangs are longer than I like them to be.

Coming from a rich family, I have been fortunate for most of my life. Nothing has ever gone wrong for me. The luxuries I've enjoyed I can guarantee no ordinary child has.

My parents tell me I'm special and loved by everyone.

What a bunch of liars.

I am no naive person. It's quite obvious how others actually perceive me. Their mouths say they love me, but their eyes tell a different story. And I first realized this in 4th grade.

Specifically, when I met this one peculiar boy. He was outright weird. He spoke to no one. He'd always appear like an outcast compared to the others. I've been observing him for awhile.

He had no one to go to. No one to talk to. He'd always play by himself, eat by himself, and even talk to himself. This had piqued my interest.

Which is why one day, I decided to approach the boy.

It was lunch time and he was sitting outside at the playground by himself, as usual. From my own curiosity, I decided to talk to him for the very first time.

"Be my friend."

Those were the only 3 words I uttered. And his reaction was something I didn't anticipate.

With those words, he gave me an odd look. I couldn't figure it out. Was he surprised? Was he mad? Was he confused? Or was he simply annoyed that I spoke to him? I really couldn't tell.

Awhile later, he got up. He continued looking at me for a few more seconds. That was before he turned around and walked away without even saying a word.

I was simply shocked. And the most humiliating part was that he didn't once turn back to look at me. It was as if he didn't even acknowledge my presence.

I was left completely speechless. He was the first person to openly treat me in such a vile manner.

After that, I maintained my distance from him.

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It was the first day of grade 10. My first year starting high school.

I, of course, wasn't enthralled nor nervous for this day. It was just another ordinary day for me.

Or at least, that's what I believed. But something weird happened.

I told myself that my eyes were deceiving me when I saw the same boy again.

I was able to recognize him right away just by one mere look. But it felt awkward seeing him again. Especially knowing how he completely humiliated me when we were only children.

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. And to be fairly honest, I resented him for humiliating me in such a way back then. He irritated me. His very presence irritated me.

I hated him. Who does he think he is walking away without even responding to me? Even a simple "no" would've sufficed. But instead, he walked away as if I was nothing.

I never did forgive him for that day, nor am I ever planning to. But nonetheless, now he was attending the same high school as me.

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I made two new friends in my first month of being here. Xue and Feng. They were both smart but not as smart as me of course. I viewed them as airheads since they never took anything seriously.

But oh well. I decided I wouldn't leave them since I did enjoy their company.

○●○

Today, I found out that the boy's name is "Xiao." That name suits him well.

...But don't get me wrong. I still resent him for what he did.

○●○

Xue and Feng began picking on Xiao. I didn't really understand why. I did tell them about what happened in elementary but I don't think that's the only reason they liked to tease him.

But eventually, the teasing began to go a bit too far. They started getting into fights with the boy. And somehow, Xiao managed to beat them every time. How pathetic those two are to lose to one male.

Of course I could help them, but I much rather not dirty my hands for such childish shenanigans. And besides that, I'm also no match for Xiao. I hate to admit it, but his fighting skills are indeed better than mine. I'd never tell anyone that though.

○●○

Today was a horrible day. A regretful one.

Xue and Feng decided to fight with Xiao once again while he was walking to school.

But something different happened this time. Someone else got involved. A little girl.

She was pushed onto the road. I wanted to help her but my body completely froze at the moment. I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to push Feng away who was preventing Xiao from helping the girl? Or help the girl myself?

Feng and Xue were simply too dense to notice the car coming, hence why I view them as airheads. Those idiots didn't know what was happening. It was up to me to decide what the outcome of this scenario would be.

But the car was coming at a speed that left me unable to move in time. It was happening too fast. I wasn't able to make a decision quick enough. Such an idiot.

The girl was hit and Xiao was left as shocked as everyone else was.

He looked at me, Xiao. It was only for a few seconds but he did look at me. And his face read "why didn't you do anything?" The amount of guilt that swarm over me at that very moment was unbearable. I wanted to yell on the spot. But all I did was just look.

That's all I could ever do, look. The only thing I've ever been able to do was look.

Why didn't I do anything? Why didn't I do anything? Why didn't I do anything? Why didn't I do anything? Why the hell didn't I do anything?

...Apologies, I got too carried away. Moving on.

The two were expelled because of the incident while I was suspended. I was lucky to only be suspended. I could've stopped the fight before it got worse yet I didn't. But regardless of that, what happened, happened. And there is nothing I can do about it now.

Except live with the vast amount of guilt and regret that I'm burdened with.

○●○

My time in suspension has finally come to an end. I am permitted to attend my classes once again and return back to my normal high school life.

Upon my return, I was able to find out more information about the accident. The name of the driver was "Y/n" if I recall correctly. And I also found out the name of the injured little girl, "Qiqi."

When I asked, the principal told me that Qiqi was currently in the hospital. She had been in a coma ever since the accident occurred.

That only added onto my guilt. I don't know what to do anymore. But one thing is certain: if something were to happen to her, none of us would be able to recover.

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