《Fallen: b.b (book 1) REWRITING》chapter twenty- six
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with President Wallace, Anastasia had lost her appetite. She skipped the community dinner, knowing she would be the only one and that she could find some peace. Anastasia just needed to get away from everyone, and sitting her way through a dinner surrounded by everyone seemed to much to do. When they left for the dinner, Anastasia luged behind, drifting off not long after, exploring the places she could in Mount Weather.
She found a slightly cracked down, no scanner, or any presence of a lock. Which hopefully meant that it was one of the few rooms not under protection from the majority of the community. Anastasia pushed the rest of the door open, leading to a room stacked with books to the ceiling, wall to wall. Lighten up by a few dusty lamps littered around the room sported onto of tables laid around the corners.
She was taken back by the sight of so many books in print, she was even shocked by the amount of paper present in this one room. Her time of the Ark was spent reading many books, especially in her earth literature class, but none of them were paper. Anastasia stepped into the rooming gliding her fingers over the bounded books in the bookcases, squeezed together in a straight line. Her eyes gazed over the titles, all the classics, Alice in Wonderland, The Great Gatsby, and Of Mice and Men, were some of the titles that graced the walls.
All the books seem worn and colorful with, she picked up To Kill A Mockingbird, flipping through the pages, each showing a sense of degrade. Anastasia took the book carefully knowing the browning of the pages, getting to the end closing the book placing it back on the bookcase with caution, recreating the perfect scene.
Anastasia took a seat, pulling out a wooden chair with a wool pad, sitting down taking a deep breath, finally feeling at peace. Something about this place brought her comfort she had been seeking. She finally found a place that brought her the same feeling she felt from Bellamy's touch. Anastasia choked up at the thought of Bellamy, her minding flashing back to the sight of her hands gripping the bag that held the ripped part of Bellamy's jacket. She still didn't want to admit that he was gone, that he gave up fighting.
Anastasia clasped her hands together, looking around the library once more. She didn't even know where the start, on the Ark, Anastasia was amongst the top people that were the most well read, from documents to literature, but this library was something more. Anastasia had read the majority of the Ark's literature files, but the contents of that file wouldn't even amass to 1/3 of this library. She knew that eventually she would crack up the book, but right now she enjoyed the fact of just sitting in boredom and silence.
Dropping her head to her hands, she couldn't help but reply the memories of her and Bellamy. Every single moment from the Ark to Earth and everything in between. The moment when she hated him, the moments he defended her, the time he lost her trust, the time he won her trust, more importantly the time her broke her heart, and the time he fix it. She couldn't help but get watery eyes as she replayed the memory of Bellamy get beaten by a grounder as she was being dragged in the door closing on her. Suddenly all the happy memories were gone and all she could see was the fallen Bellamy as the door closes, over and over again it replayed. The memory of her holding the jacket melded in with the other one, as it became an entire movie playing in her head.
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"She always came here too" she heard from the door, Anastasia wiped her eyes moving her head up to see President Wallace standing by the open door leading into the library.
"Excuse me?" Anastasia questioned sitting back at attention, "Who?" She added confused by this fore mention who he was talking about. President Wallace walked into the library taking her time walking around it glancing at the books before coming to Anastasia's table, pulling out the other chair, taking a seat fumbling his hands on the table, collapsing them together.
"My sister, this was her favorite place, got away from my father here" He stated looking around the library tilting his head up to the hanging chandelier, unlit, but held the beauty of the room together, "If she didn't pass, when she did, she would had been president, and a damn god one too" he joked lightly, chuckling slightly. Anastasia didn't know what to say, how to react to his lost. Anastasia smiled along at his joke keeping silent, "Just like you, I can tell" he added, pointing to her.
"She sounds like a pretty amazing person" Anastasia retorted.
"Yeah she was" He replied with a sigh, "anyways" he stated clearing his throat with a cough, "skipping dinner? You must be hungry" he stated staring at her.
"Umm" she looked down at her hands, "No, I'm fine" she answered shaking her head her eye line still on her tangled together hands.
"I don't believe that, no breakfast, no lunch, and now no dinner" President Wallace stated, "starving yourself isn't healthy"
"I'm not" Anastasia cleared up, shaking her head again, bringing her eyes up to his, "I just really don't have an appetite right now" she explained.
"I understand" Wallace replied with a nod, "I didn't eat for weeks after my sister and mother died" he sympathetically smiled, "It gets better" he added.
"I really don't want to talk about this with you" she replied unraveling her hands sitting straight up, placing her hands in her lap. Like she was finishing up in the library, ready to move, "No offense, but..."
"But it's personal, and private" Wallace finished like it was a sing-a-long. Anastasia looked up to his inquisitive glaze, probably wondering if he was right.
"Yeah" she cleared her throat replying, with a short nod, "Well it's late, I should get back to my room" she replied with a light smile standing up. Pushing out the chair with her legs walking towards the exit.
"Anastasia, i hope to see you at breakfast tomorrow morning" President remarked as Anastasia reached the doorway, stopping her for a second before she continued through into the hallway.
Retracting back her steps to the room she shares with the others of her people. She walked into the room gardening attention from a few as she strolled into the room after being missing for almost over a hour. She walked passed them taking a seat on her cot on the bottom, taking the pressure off of her legs.
"Glad you joined us" she looked up to find Jasper standing over her looking at her with a straight face, "Here" he added tossing her an apple as it feel into her opened palms, latching onto the fruit, she had never seen anything like it in person, but she read about this fruit and others, "It's an...." Jasper began pointing down at the ruby red apple in her hand.
"An apple" Anastasia finished, squeezing it lightly in her hands, "I know" she added bluntly staring up at him, before taking her eyes back down to the fruit, as Jasper cleared his throat.
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"Well, since you skipped dinner I thought you've been hungry, so I picked it up for you" he explained, "I mean, sliding one piece of fruit into my pocket was nothing compared to the amount of effort it took to steal herbs on the Ark" he joked chuckling uncomfortably, noticing the unamused girl with her head down looking at the apple in bewilderment. Anastasia diverted her attention back to Jasper, she planted a simple smile on her face. It was small but it was enough to bring Jasper's stress down a few levels.
"Thanks, Jasper" she replied holding up the apple slightly tossing it before, bringing it back down, lifting it up to her mouth and taking a bite, chewing it. Just like Anastasia had seen in her classes when they began their discussion on fruits grown on earth before the war. She was shocked by the simple flavor that was completely delicious when she took a bite, she took a second to cover her mouth hoping that she wouldn't drool, before taking another bit which was just as good as the first.
Anastasia finished the apple, not filling completely full, but it was enough considering she hasn't eaten for a whole day. Clarke had finally made it back to room, heaviness in her steps walking to the top bunk of Ana's and Clarke's bunk beds. Being the last ones to make it out of quarantine they got last of the picks, which included them bunking together.
There was no words shared between the girls, as Clarke planted her feet along the beds, standing still for awhile. Eventually Clarke threw herself on the top bunk causing the framing the bounce on top of Anastasia's before forming back to it's original shape. Anastasia groaned holding the top of her head looking up past the frame up to Clarke who was now engrossed in her sketchbook, viscously scribbling in the book, following back and forth movements. The sound of graphite against paper echoing across the bunks, but Clarke didn't care.
Anastasia fell back into her cot with a sigh, her head collapsing on the pillow. Her eyes flittered back and forth from being open to close, her conciseness flashing away. Within minutes Anastasia was out, completely pass out in the cot, pulling the covers over her body.
Anastasia didn't know why but she was walking through the barely lit forest. She couldn't tell if it was dawn or dusk. It felt like she was running away from something than towards. She couldn't tell what but the fear she felt trembled over her. Her breathing increased heavily, when her legs picked up. Anastasia could barely feel her legs, she wanted to stop, but it was clear to her already that she had no control. She was just watching, an audience for herself, in a memory she did't remember. Anastasia was cursing at her brain to stop, yelling it out but her voice only echoed through her head while her mouth stayed shut only opening to take in huffing breaths of air.
"Ana?" She heard a familiar husky voice call, it was carried by the wind, unrecognizable through the limbs of the trees. She wanted more than ever to turn around or stop. Her feet halted, as her panting stopped, deep breath came in, "Ana?" The voice was closer this time, the trees still blocked the name of the voice as it flew through the forest towards her. Her opened palm closed to halfway open clasping something, Anastasia looked down to her hands to see the steel blade, a grounder's weapon firmly caressed in her hand aimed to attack. Anastasia had no idea where the blade came, her hands gripped the blade tighter, she didn't even know that was possible, "Ana?" This time the voice was right behind her, out of breath, breathing deeply, she could place the voice now, it was clear as day. Bellamy, it was Bellamy's voice calling after her. She wanted to turn around to meet his face but her body stayed facing the other way towards the deep forest. His hand touched her shoulder, shivering over his touch, missing it. The feeling of warmth radiating from his hands was peaceful. Anastasia calmed down, in her mind. Her body tensed up gripping the sword rougher bouncing it in her hands, as her shoulder shot up in a shrug, "Anastasia!" Bellamy called out grabbing her shoulders throwing her back, forcing her to turn around. In a blitz, she lodged the blade into his stomach the second she came to meet his eyes. Bellamy's hand torn itself from her shoulder as her grunted in pain, frantically pressing against his abdomen. She ripped the blade out, dropping it to the ground covered in his blood, attracting the dead leaves surrounded the forest floor. Anastasia mind couldn't take in the image of herself stabbing Bellamy, she shut down, finally dropping the the ground, her body limp. She cried out in pain, as he bled out in front of her, her shouts coming out of her mouth as she finally controlled her body and mind, gripping onto the Bellamy, pressing his wound with her hands, barely being able to see through the tears falling from her eyes. She stopped checking his pace, no longer hearing the raspy breathing, hearing nothing she feel back, collapsing fully to the ground. She laid on the ground her body placed next to the bloody blade, crying out in pain, as her heart and her brain hurt.
Anastasia shook awake popping up smacking her head of the board above her.
"Ow" she cried rubbing her head lightly, noticing that she was one of the first ones awake, guess all the others were finding comfort in the new beds, and not pledged with murderous dreams. Anastasia sat up, using the blanket as a divider for her fingers, twirling with them, scared to fall back asleep. Footsteps sounded through the hallway reaching their room, suddenly.
Standing at their door was Maya with a bell that she struck, twice before stopping as the others woke up groggily. Wiping their eyes, and yawning in despair of a full nights sleep in a comfy bed, something they haven't seen in almost 18 years. Maya seemed pleased with her job of waking up the others, gliding towards Anastasia's bunk, handing over a nicely placed dress on a hanger out to her.
"It's from the president" she remarked holding it out to her, "He wants you to have it" she added watching as Anastasia reluctantly grabbed the dress from the hanger holding it up. Maya left promptly after handing Anastasia the dress leaving as many people got out of their beds heading to the bathrooms to get ready for breakfast. Anastasia scanned the dress over, it wasn't that different from the one she worn just the other day, this time instead of a worn out yellow, it was a pure white. Unlike the blandness of the Ark's white clothes, the white dress with a laced necklace showed of life in the simplest form. Her hands glided over the matching buttons along the chest of the dress continuing down till the end of the stomach.
Anastasia mind flashing to the dream she had, watching the dress turning into Bellamy's blooded body as she rushed the cover the wound gripping his abdomen, pressing against it, feeling the life drain out of him. Anastasia yelped throwing the dress, onto the absent bed next to her gaining attention from the other's still waking up cozied in their covers.
"Ok?" Clarke simply asked jutting her head out and down to Anastasia still focused on the dress. Anastasia knocked out of her trance looking up to Clarke giving a nod in clarity before grabbing the dress off the vacant bed and heading to the washrooms off in the corner.
Anastasia slipped off her mustard dress, still sporting the tight white shorts and tank top around her body. Placing the white dress over her body, covering the more pure white colored clothing. Reaching behind her, zipping up the dress, adverting her eyes from the mirror standing directly in front of her, hanging over the rusty, white sink. She smooth down the dress, taking her hands down from the waist to the hemline, keeping her eyes on her work, as to not slip a glance of her composure in the mirror. Brushing back her hair turning towards the open door of the wash room grabbing the worn dress off the floor, bundling it up as she headed back into the room.
Clarke was up along with Jasper, they both had changed into new and clean clothes. Jasper was hanging on the bars of Clarke's bunk, talking with her, when Anastasia walked in. Anastasia walked past them throwing her old dress on the bed, sliding the shoes the president had given her, laying her head on Clarke's bed, watching Jasper and her finish up their conversation about Clarke's sketching of the map of Mount Weather.
"what do you think, huh, Ana?" Jasper asked nodding to Anastasia and then to the map as Clarke flittered the pencil in her hand. Anastasia reached her hand out to hold down the sketchbook that held the hidden map, noticing all the outlines and notes that she had made in black all over.
"Nice, very nice" Anastasia remarked with a shallow breath taking her hand off of the book as it flew back towards Clarke, situating itself back in its original position. Clarke looked at her with no emotion before forming her eyes on the map, going back to scribbling on it. Anastasia stated at Clarke deep in thought, only brought out of it when a random kid shouted
"Miller!"
Causing all the attention from Clarke, Anastasia, and Jasper.
"Look who finally got released" Jasper nodded as Clarke looked up causing Anastasia to turn around meeting the faces of Miller and Maya as they walked through the door.
"Hey" Miller retorted as he walked in stopping in front of the trio, giving a small smile towards them.
"Miller" Clarke spoke up sitting up, closing her sketchbook, getting his attention, "I'm glad you're okay" she replied with a soft smile that she shared with Miller.
"Yeah" he responded nodding, "Only took, what, 3 surgeries" Miller joked looking over to Maya, jutting his eyes back over to the two girls who stood in front of him. One of them standing up against a bunk bed and the other sitting onto of the top bunk, with her hands keeping her up, "I heard you guys are fitting right in" Miller uttered, Clarke shot Maya a glare, knowing that she muttered about the time that Clarke and Anastasia were having in Mount Weather so far.
"Twice a day" Maya butted in, uncomfortable by the look Clarke was giving her, "Don't forget" she joked with Miller handing him the pills, walking in front of him, "You'll be ok in a few days" she added setting down his bag on the empty bunk bed near Clarke and Anastasia.
"Thanks" Miller replied as Maya walked past Miller again. Jasper intercepted Maya, walking with her, as Clarke watched along with Anastasia, before veering their attention somewhere else. For Clarke it was back to her sketchbook while Anastasia welcomed Miller to their room.
"Hey" she calming stated sitting down on her bed meeting Miller's eyes as he laid back.
"Hey, Ana" Miller replied sitting up like her placing his bag aside, "I heard about Bell..." He tried to sympathize with her before being cut off.
"I'm happy you made it" she uttered, making a soft smile placing her hands together in her lap trying not to think about Bellamy, especially after the dream she had.
"Yeah, me too" He replied jokingly, "You look good" he added pointing to Anastasia's look that she had on, meeting her eyes again. Anastasia fumbled around with her hands picking at them. Abruptly sirens erupted from the building, loudly going off, making everyone come to attention. Maya began running out, before Clarke jumped off her bed stopping Maya by stepping in front of her. Anastasia stood up coming behind the girls, as she moved to the side.
"Hey" Clarke stated, "What's going on?" She asked Maya.
"That signal means the surface patrol is back and someone needs medical attention" Maya replied explaining the situation, "I have to go to quarantine" she added before pushing past Clarke and running off. Clarke turned around grabbing Anastasia wrist pulling her along. A hand placed on Clarke's shoulder pulled her back and turned her around the face Jasper.
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