"No Papi, you have to wear your hair like this! That's how Prince Charming has it—Stay still!"

"Oooooh, alright princess. Go on..," I sit with a smirk on my face as Cherie walks into the bathroom to find Charlie hovering over me while I sit on the little pink step stool, letting my daughter brush my hair into a cow-licked side part. The amount of sticky gel piled onto my head is atrocious.

"Getting Papi to look as handsome as ever hmm, Char?," Cherie giggles her way to the mirror above the sink. She got the easy costume— a long silk robe, and huge hair buns. Oh, I'll have fun with that later...

"Yes, Mummy. It's hard work!," Charlie sighs as she steps back to have a look at me, little finger twirling under her chin as if I'm still not supporting her vision.

"Hey now! I'm not that much to work on, darling. Your old Papi is as handsome as they come," I grin widely at her, getting to my feet to look in the mirror. I have to say this new hair-do could work.

"There's a new handsome in town, Papi! It's me!," Richie runs into the room, zooming around in his beige robe, flinging his blue light saber about to showcase his costume.

"Both my men are the best looking in the whole world!," Cherie turns away from the mirror, bumping into me standing behind her. She kisses my cheek quickly and bends to kiss Richie's, too.

As she walks out of the room, I watch the way her costume shimmies about with the sway of her hips. It barely clings to her— she still hasn't put on much weight.

"Papi, don't mess up your costume. Mummy's going to do my makeup now— boys, out!," Charlie dictates with a contrasting sweet smile.

I could be mad about her ways, but I like to think she'll give some poor sucker a run for his money some day. At least, I know my little girl won't have too much trouble being a pushover. She's going to be running things, why kill her spirit?

Cherie meets us in the doorway, a sleepy Lily in her arms just barely dressed in her little costume. "Look at you, my precious princess," I coo at her as she rubs her eyes and switches from Cherie's arms to mine.

"I'm the princess, Papi. Lily is the fairly godmutha," Charlie corrects as she pushes her pink step stool to the sink. "I'm ready Mummy!"

"I can't wait to see your bedtime costume, Mummy," I whisper quickly before giving her lisp a quick kiss and walking out of the bathroom. I turn to wink at her before she closes the door, exciting myself for later when I see her biting her lip as she watches me walk away.

Richie follows me down the stairs as we wait for the women in our lives to finish with their makeup. I settle down with the children on the couch and pop on the tele for some kiddie Halloween cartoons.

Sitting and waiting my mind begins to wander. I start to think back to this time just a year ago. Things were so different.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last Mercury Halloween

"Are you absolutely sure you don't want to come trick or treating, Fred? I know the twins would love it..," Rose sits beside me as I lay in bed, unwilling to move. Halloween's never really been a huge deal to any of us, but as our kids got older, the holiday excitement grew.

"I'm not feeling quite up to it, dear. I...I don't..I just can't..," I roll over in bed as to not witness the sympathetic look on Rose's face. Here I am still wallowing over my dead wife, while Rosie's just a month out of surgery and still managing to look on the bright side of things.

I feel her gentle touch on my back as she rubs a few soothing circles. The simple act makes me want to cry, but I hold it in. Sometimes her touch reminds me of hers. They're mannerisms are very similar. They used to be so close, basically sisters. I guess that explains it...or maybe I'm just as desperate and pathetic as my subconscious says.

"It's alright, Sweetie. I understand. Some days are tougher than others, Freddie. Just remember I'm here when you're ready to talk...," She's quiet for a moment. Maybe waiting for me to respond. When I don't, she continues.

"I've got a surprise for you. I...uh, I thought you'd be having a good day..so I..um,I hope you don't mind, but I picked the twins' costumes for you and Cherie..."

Just hearing her name makes me want to curl further into my ball of self pity. All I need is to fall asleep. Yes. Once I fall asleep I can be with her....

"Hurry, Richie! Papi wants to see us before we leave"

I can hear my little girls whisper as the twins push open the slightly cracked door to my bedroom and bustle on in.

When I know they're watching, I quickly try to hide my sorrowful expression behind the father-mask I've molded into over the past few months. I turn to them with the best smile I can manage...that is...until I see their costumes....

"You love it, Papi!!??," Charlie squeals with delight as she twirls around in her all white gown, glittering sparkles are sprinkled in her dark curls. Her head is crowned with a fluffy white halo and she glides around the room showing off her long, beautiful wings.... "I'm the angel like in your dreams, Papi! And Richie is the shiny night. But he doesn't look like night time, Papi. There's no cloud or moons," She shakes her head, pointing to Richie who seems to be enjoying his half-tin costume as he walks about like a robot.

"Not shiny night, Char," Richie corrects his sister, his curls spring about as he takes off his helmet. "I'm the knight in shiny amor,"

Just seeing their bright smiling faces makes my heart twinge. I can feel the pressure from the inside. Like my valve flaps have fallen open and my heart drowns in its own flowing blood. I can't look at them like this...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Papi...," Richie scoots closer to me and Lily on the couch, putting his little hand on my knee. The way he calls my attention reminds me of his observant ways. "You won't get sad this time, right? Mummy's here now..," His big brown eyes look at me cautiously. I hate the fact that he's seen me when I was down and out. I should've hid it better.

"Of course not, darling. I'm so happy I could burst!," At the last second I reach over and tickle his sides until he's out of breath from laughing so hard he almost falls out of his seat. I catch him just as Cherie walks down the stairs.

"Hey, you two...the party's about to start. Are ya ready?"

————————————————————

(Lmaooo it's been a minute, okay?!)

———————————————————

"How's she been doing?," Roger asks as he sits next to me, Brian and Deacy in his living room.

"She's good, I think. There's still a lot to figure out you know, between us and getting back on with the children, she's handling everything surprisingly well," He nods his response, passing out the beers from the pack he carries in his hand.

"Well, that's great news, I'm happy for the both of you, mate"

"What about Rosie? How have her scans been-,"

Before I could finish the question, a stampede of kids come barreling into the room. All of them emptying the sacks of their candy bags across the floor.

"Josh, that's no fair! A tootsie pop for a snickers bar is not an even trade!"

"Laura, you've got way more candy than I do-,"

"It doesn't matter that's not-,"

"Yeah, shes fine. Everything's fine," Roger talks over the kids bickering, but I feel like he's hiding something as Deacy chimes in to mediate his children and changes the subject. I can't say I blame him, we're all hiding things these days.

Cherie and Rose walk in now from the kitchen with wine glasses in their hands. Anita and Ronnie follow just behind them with a tray of cheese and crackers. It's so good to see Cherie with the girls again. They've all been nonstop laughing and feeding Cherie into all the events that she's missed out on.

"What are you boys so quiet about?," Ronnie questions as she takes a seat on John's lap. She's barely so far along again—I wonder if Cherie and I will ever have any more children...

"Oh, nothing you bunch of hens. Can't a man just sit in silence?," Roger retorts with a chuckle.

"You? Silent? When? Where? How?!,"

"Hahahaa, she's got you there Rog," Brian agrees with the women and Anita rewards him with a sip of wine and a kiss. Those two never did grow out of their honeymooners stage. It's nice.

"Yeah, whatever.."

The evening begins to wind down as the children have all gotten their belly's plump and full, no doubt a trip to the dentist for everyone soon. They've all gotten cozy in the living room to watch a movie with their treats and all the adults have moved into the kitchen.

"Alright...now everyone slowly peak your head over the screen....juuuuuuuust like that....so we can say 'helloooo out there from Queen!'...and slowly move out of focus.. 'Goodbye Instagrammers...," Brian chuckles to himself as we all follow along with his directions for something he calls a 'table top selfie'.

"Honestly dear, you're much too invested in that Instagram. The fans will hardly buy anymore tickets to shows if they see and speak with you every day," Anita tisks her tongue, but she's got a smile on her face as Brian is busy writing a caption for the video.

"Right then, Fred..Rog..I'll tag you in this if that's alright. Deacy, you really should consider joining the internet someday..," Brian says, still fully emerged with his nose in his phone.

"I am on the internet. I just haven't added you yet," Deacy smirks.

"Ooh, look! Loads of commenters already," Brian chirps with a big smile.

Roger pulls out his phone, noticing the string of comments, before I have enough time to do the same, "What's that say? Pound Cherie lives?,"

"It's pronounced hashtag," Brian corrects smugly.

"Oh, well that's just grand! Now we'll have to deal with the press. The news hadn't gone that far out yet and now the whole bloody world knows it," I grumble.

Cherie turns to me with a sly smile on her lips, one eye brow raised, intrigued, "You have an Instagram now?,"

"I..Uh, well yes. I made an Instagram profile. The guys thought it'd be a good way to...to meet people..," Cherie's smirk grows into a rather suspicious grin.

Looking around the table, I see my bandmates shaking their heads as if denying the fact that they are the ones who made me get into social media in the first place. "I haven't used it much! Just band updates mostly...boredom rummaging...anyway, there are such ridiculous things-,"

Cherie looks down at my phone again, this time clicking on the last picture that I posted over a month ago...

"Freddie being shy and humble is SUCH a turn on, like LET 👏🏽 ME 👏🏽 MOUTH YOUR COCK...," She reads off a comment from a fan with a scoff, but I can't help not laughing! It only takes a second for her to join in on my cackling after the outrageous offer.

"You like that, do you? All this desperate attention," Her voice changes into one familiar sultry tone. Time to go home.

"Uh, well...I mean, yes? I quite like the attention, darling, you know that," I wink at her in the hopes of further enticing the slip of jealousy in her.

That's when she does the unexpected. Beneath the table, away from the luring eyes of our friends, she grabs ahold of my already pulsing shaft and squeezes me in her grip tightly, but only for a second.

I stand to my feet, abruptly pushing out my chair from the table. With a sudden change of pace, I announce our need for urgent departure, "WELL NOW!," I clap my hands once as I speak. "I believe it's getting pretty late," stretching my arms above my head, my shirt rises revealing my navel as I stifle a phony yawn. "Time to go to bed- I mean, time to go home!"

"Freddie! What are you doing—put me down!,"

"No can do, babe! No time to waste!," She laughs like a madwoman as she dangles over my shoulder. I parade her around the kitchen to the living-room to collect the children— Papi's gonna have fun tonight.