It's been two months since I saw everybody and no I wasn't avoiding anybody or anything. I just been busy clearing my head and chilling with my mom in France. Everybody was a little salty about me missing Christmas and New Years with them, but I let them know that I'll make it up to them.

It's in the middle of February and I just got back to Harlem. I was having a friend pick me up from the airport because I didn't feel the need to make my way home just yet. Over my period of time away from Harlem, I've been able to figure some shit out about myself. One, I need to start visiting my mom more because I enjoy her company. Two, I take her advice over everybody else's. Three, I finally realized that I had feelings for Lanae.

I don't know when I gained them, but I know I had them hidden for awhile now. Maybe it was because I use to call her my little sister back in the day or because I'm in a current relationship right now. I really don't know, but I know I want to fuck with her heavy.

After I had that talk with Rob, I decide to clear my head and head over to France. Once I was in France, I went straight to my mom's house and asked for advice. Let's just say she opened my eyes all the way up.

I walked inside of my mom's house, using my spare key and swiftly took my wheat Timberlands off by the door.

"Maman," I called out to her in French, noticing how quiet it was.

"Omari," she said, confused. Seconds later I saw her walk out of the kitchen with her apron on. Her eyes lit up when they landed on me before she rushed over to me. "What are you doing here? This is such a surprise, gimme a hug."

I hugged her tightly before rocking us back and forth, "How you been, mom?"

She pulled away from me and smiled, "Good. Come, come.. I'm making your favorite pasta."

I followed her into the kitchen and the smell of food immediately entered my nostrils and made my mouth water.

"Damn mom. You got it smellin' good up in here," I smiled, but stopped once she sent a glare my way, "excuse my language."

"It's alright," she stirred a big spoon inside of the pot before setting it down, "how have you been son?"

I sighed, "Working. Thinking 'bout ah couple of things. I came to kick it wit' you for ah few months to clear my head," I informed her.

She raised her eyebrow with a smirk, "Wow, my one and only child came to visit me just to clear his head. I feel so special."

"Aww mom. It ain't even like that, you know I missed you too," I truthfully said.

Me and my mom is hell of close, but it wasn't always like that. When she made me move in with my grandma at the age of two, the mother and son bond slowly slipped away. She appeared back in my life on my sixteenth birthday. Saying I was pissed would be an understatement. I was pissed off because I felt like she didn't really give a fuck about me. My blood ass mom missed out on fourteen years of my life.

But I made myself forgive her after Lanae disappeared and Lieashia died. I realized life was too short to hold grudges. I got her number from my grandma and called her, letting her explain her side of the story. Long story short, she fell into a depression when my dad died from a car crash and once she had me moved in with my grandma, she got herself into some shit. From that moment forward we began to build our mother and son bond and now we are closer than we were before.

"I missed you more, son," my mom sighed before sitting down at the table. I followed her actions and sat in a chair across from her. "So what's got your mind worked up?"

I shook my head before speaking in French, "J'ai besoin de conseils."

I only spoke in French when my emotions were strong. Whenever I was stressed. Whenever I was shocked. Whenever I was horny. Whenever I was pissed. And whenever I was sad.

"Okay..." my mom dragged, "what kind of advice Omari?"

"Some advice about this situation I'm in."

"Okay, I'm all ears," she said as she gave all her attention to me.

I ran my hand down my face before I leaned forward on the table, "Okay, so you remember the girl Lanae that I've been lookin' for, for the past couple years?"

"Of course I remember her. You always stress about her and she's the reason why my son forgave me. I can't wait 'till you find her, so I can thank her and- oh no," my mom abruptly stopped her rambling and placed her hand over her mouth with teary eyes.

I scrunched up my face in confusion, "What's wrong, ma?"

"Oh my gosh, Omari," she whispered sadly, "you found her dead?"

"Hell no," I immediately said, "I found her like three weeks ago."

"OMARI QUE HILLS," my mom exaggerated, "cuss one more time and why am I just finding out about this?"

"My fault, ma," I apologized, "it's been ah lot of sh-stuff goin' on lately and I've been tryna figure some things out."

"Well," my mom grinned softly, "I'm happy you finally found her. That's all that matters. Now.. I'm curious about what you are stressing about."

"I'm stressed about Lanae. Long story short I found out that she's in love wit' me, but she doesn't know that I know. Everybody keep tellin' me that I love her more than I say I do, but I can't bring myself to see what they see. Je ne sais pas," I groaned.

I noticed a smile grow on my mom's face before she shook her head, "Ne sois pas stupide."

"What?"

"Don't be dumb, Omari," she smacked her lips, "You know and I know that you love that girl more than you want to admit it." Once I didn't reply she continued, "When she disappeared and you finally forgave me because of the affect she had on you, I knew she was someone special to you. Before everything happened you were so set on not talking to me or anything, but her disappearance made you change your ways with me automatically."

Silence.

She sighed, "what are you thinking son?"

I glanced off in space before I returned my glaze on her, "I know I love her, but I always seen my love as ah brotherly type and not a romantic one."

"Do you see her as your sister, still?"

"No," I admitted.

"And why is that?"

I pulled on my chin hairs before I answered her question, "Time. I don't feel that brother and sister bond wit' her anymore. Ever since she came back to Harlem I've only saw her as someone I truly care 'bout and someone who has matured ah lot."

"Mm," she hummed, "do you think her maturing brought out your true feelings for her?"

I thought back to all the times I had to hold my tongue around Lanae because sometimes I didn't see her like I use to. Every now and then I'll catch myself getting horny just being in her presence.

When I first saw her after three years, I was horny as fuck. Seeing her in that skin tight, orange dress had my dick standing at attention. I played the shit cool until we got to the crib and I gave Brittany the business. In my mind, I blamed my horniness on stress that night, but in reality it was Lanae all along.

Every time we went out to eat, I'll always catch her moaning while she was eating and I'm not going to lie. That shit turned a nigga on each time. I would want to grab her little ass and strip her naked before giving it to her like we were married or some shit. She just don't be knowing what be going through my damn mind. Nobody does. But once again I blamed my forbidden desires on stress. Lately, me and Brittany been arguing nonstop and afterwards we'll have make up sex, but that shit starting to get old to me. A nigga just be wanting to chill, you know?

Then, she did the unthinkable a few days ago. She kissed me and my ass was feigning for more. I was ready to devour her ass, but her dad shut everything down before I could even start. I realized I ain't have nothing to blame my actions on because there was nothing to blame at all, which is why I'm here in France now.

After a few seconds, I finally answered my mom's question.

"Yeah," I said, "I'm not gon' lie, I've been feelin' her since she came back."

"Is that what you been thinkin' 'bout so hard just a few seconds ago?"

"Yes," I chuckled.

"Aww," my mom cooed, "my baby finally realized his feelings after everybody figured it out."

I smacked my lips, "Mom you wrong. You know I gotta understand before I believe something everybody else spittin'."

"Hey," she raised her hands in a surrendering way while smiling, "I'm just happy you finally understand what we all seen these past years."

I nodded my head in agreement.

"So what are you goin' to do when you get back to Harlem?"

"Imma still do what I was gon' do before. Wait 'til she gain the courage to tell me she feelin' me and then I'll tell her what's up," I shrugged.

She shook her head, "You both are in love, so why not just make the first move Omari?"

"Je l'aime, mais je ne suis pas amoureux."

"We'll see how long that lasts," she laughed before standing up and checking on the pasta.

I snapped back into reality when I heard my phone ringing. I swiftly took it out of my pocket before I answered the call without looking at the caller ID.

"What it dew?"

"Hey Lucky, I'm outside," I heard a seductive, high pitched voice say causing me to lick my lips.

"Aight," I said before hanging up and making my way out front with my luggage.

When I stepped outside, the cold air instantly blew my way causing my whole face to numb up. I smacked my lips before scanning the lot for my friend's car. Once I spotted it a few feet away, I quickly made my way over to it before knocking one of my knuckles on the window. Seconds later the window slowly rolled down, revealing my friend named Unique.

I smirked before licking my lips, "Open up the trunk, ma."

"Igotchu'," she smiled before popping her trunk and rolling up her window.

I threw my shit in her trunk before hopping inside of her heated car, "Damn it's brick as fuck outside."

"Hell yeah," Unique laughed before she looked me up and down, "you lookin' good Lucky."

Today I was wearing a navy blue Maniere De Voir sweatsuit along with my favs. My all white high top Air Force ones. Something chill and simple.

I smiled, "Always. This shit ain't new, what you stallin' for?"

"Me? Stallin'? Never. I'm just tryna catch up wit' you that's all. We friends right?"

"More like fuck buddies," I honestly said.

"True," Unique said before biting her bottom lip, "I missed you daddy."

She leaned over and began untying my sweatpants.

As I watched her undo the knot, I adjusted the seat to where I was leaning all the way back, so I could get more comfortable in this little spaced ass car.

Me and Unique been fucking with each other before me and Brittany made it official. Our relationship is really simple. We're fuck buddies from time to time. Not saying it's right, but sometimes I be needing a little break from everything. Unique is somebody I come to when I'm stressed out and need a stress reliever from someone other than Brittany. She pleases me and I return the favor. It's been about six months since we both hooked up and I was in desperate need for that bomb ass head she be giving. Her ass suck so good, you'll think she had no teeth.

I bit my bottom lip once I felt both of her hands grip my shaft before moving them up and down.

When the fuck she swing my dick out, I asked myself.

"You like that," she questioned.

"Stop talkin' and suck my dick," I demanded.

She winked at me before kissing my tip and getting to work. I gripped her hair and moved her head at the pace I wanted as she shoved more of my inches down her throat before she began bobbing her head up and down. I groaned lowly as I heard some people walk past the car.

"Damn," I said through gritted teeth before closing my eyes.

In the distance I heard a familiar voice, "Have you seen him come out yet?"

"Nah," I heard another familiar voice say causing my eyes to pop wide open. Right in front of the car I noticed Lanae and Queen standing a few feet away while looking around.

"Oh my gosh, Queen," Lanae looked at her with wide eyes, "what if something happened?"

"Girl take ah damn chill pill, he is okay, aight? Now let's go inside and look."

Lanae nodded her head before they both walked closer to the car. I was just hoping and praying that they didn't look in the car, but my prayers weren't answered when I noticed Queen squint at the car.

"Uh, uh, Nae c'mere," Queen's loud ass yelled before peeking through the window. When me and her made eye contact her eyes grew twice their normal size, "oh shit, never mind Lanae ju-"

I glanced up and saw that it was too late. Lanae stared at me with hurt eyes as I sat frozen in place with Unique's head still bobbing up and down my dick. We stared at each other for a few seconds before Lanae closed her eyes and stormed away from the car. As Queen chased after her, I leaned back and placed my arm over my eyes.

"Fuck," I mumbled.

***

I laid on my queen sized bed as my speakers from my flat screen tv blasted Drugs by August Alsina.

It's been about an hour since I got home from the airport. A lot has changed for the past two months. I'm living with my dad now and Queen still lives with Aunt Mo, of course, but we are basically like neighbors. We both live in condos, but on different floors. Aunt Mo lived on the fifth floor and me and my dad lived on the seventh floor. I went back and forth between the houses and vice versa.

Aunt Mo has been so happy since my dad got out of jail. She been smiling and getting out of the house more. Before he got out all she did, since we moved to back to Harlem, was stay in the hotel room unless we were going over Maw Maw and Paw Paw's house. I remember asking her why she didn't go out much and her only response was too many memories out there.

I haven't been having any problems out of Brittany's little sister. Only little glares, here and there. Did I care though? No. I'm just preparing myself for some bullshit she might pull and best believe I'm going to be ready. Other than that, school has been good and me and Queen have made a couple friends. Boys and girls.

Then.. there's Omari. All this time he has been gone, we both kept in touch with each other. At first I thought he left Harlem because of me, but my worries faded away when he told me he was just visiting his mom. My doubts returned days later because of the dry texts he was sending me. Omari has never been dry with me unless he was mad at me, so I asked him what was wrong, but of course he didn't tell me. I let it go, not wanting to argue.

We texted each other everyday, but our conversations were short and simple. Like good morning texts. Or what you doing texts out of the blue. And some how you been texts, here and there. Don't get me wrong, I was happy with him texting me everyday, but we didn't even really talk talk. You know? Maybe it was me kissing him. Maybe he was mad at me. I really don't know, but I was beginning to regret ever kissing him.

Speaking of the kiss, that kiss had my mind racing, even though it was just a few pecks. His lips were so big and soft, I just wanted to bite and suck on them, but I wasn't trying to seem thirsty. I noticed he didn't kiss me back when I kissed him, but he shocked me when he pinned me against the wall before I could leave his office. I was mad as fuck when my dad knocked on the door. He just had to mess up the perfect moment.

We still haven't spoken a word about it and that's what I was planning to do today. My plan was to surprise him at the airport and then take him somewhere to talk, but he just had to be getting his dick sucked as soon as he touched down in Harlem. Then his dumb ass didn't even try to stop the hoe when he saw me, he just stared at me, looking stupid. I swear, sometimes he really irks my soul.

So here I am now. On my bed, listening to my slow jams as I ignored all his calls and texts. To be exact, I had 15 missed calls and 33 unread messages by him. The last time he called me was about twenty minutes ago and I would be lying if I said I didn't like the attention he was giving me right now.

Shot For Me by Drake started playing, catching my full attention.

I can see it in your eyes, you're angry

Regret got shit on what you're feeling now

Mad 'cause he ain't like me

Oh you mad 'cause nobody ever did it like me

All the care I would take, all the love that we made

Now you're trying to find somebody to replace what I gave to you

My singing was rudely interrupted by a loud knock on the front door. I sighed heavily before I got up and made my way to the living room. I rolled my eyes when the person knocked again.

"Queen," I groaned while unlocking the door, "I told you I was g-ah," I screamed once I was Omari standing in front of me. Before I could open my mouth to protest he gently pushed me inside of the condo and stepped in.

"Why you answerin' the door without checkin' who it is first," he questioned as he closed the door behind him and locked it.

I crossed my arms across my chest, "Because only me and three other people know where I live. How did you know where to find me?"

"I got my ways. Now tell me why you call yo' self ignorin' my calls and texts," he said narrowing his eyes at me as he took off his coat.

I briefly took in his appearance and drooled internally. He was just too fine for his own good.