《The Proposal》Chapter 18
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Mary Margaret rocked her gently. "I know you're scared, Baby.. I know this wasn't something you planned on, but it's happening.. I've got you, and Killian loves you so much.." She whispered comforting words in her ear.
Emma stayed like that, crying in her mother's arms, for almost an hour before Killian came up to check on them and found her. Mary Margaret nodded for him to take her place and he sat on Emma's other side, taking her into his arms and holding her tightly.
"Shh.. Shh, Love.. I'm here, I've got you. You're okay.." He whispered, rubbing her back with his hand.
She buried her face in his neck as her tears subsided. She let herself be comforted by his embrace. Mary Margaret kissed both of their heads before leaving them alone.
Killian knew his wife well enough to know she would shut herself off further if he pushed her to talk, so he simply held her and rubbed her back soothingly. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against her hair so he didn't notice the pregnancy test lying on the floor by them.
"K-Kil?" Emma asked after a while. "We um.. We really need to talk." She whispered.
"Alright, Love.. You can tell me anything." He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead.
She took a deep breath. "I um.. I know why I've had a headache and been nauseous the last few days. And I don't want you to be upset with me, for me reacting the way I did.."
"I won't be upset, I just don't want you to be crying anymore.." He said softly. "Or at the very least I'd like to know why my wife is upset.."
She reached and grabbed the test from the floor, pressing it into his hand. "I.. I'm pregnant, Killian.. And I'm terrified.. We didn't plan for this, I'm not ready for this.." Tears were forming in her eyes again, her fear of his reaction evident in her eyes as she studied him.
Killian put the test down and cupped her cheek in his hand, running his thumb over it gently. "Love, Emma.." He breathed softly. "I want to tell you I'm so happy about this, but I know.. I know you're scared, and that this isn't something you wanted.." He took a breath.
"But.. While I am happy, we do have options, we can talk about all of our options. I know we didn't plan for this, and we should have known it could happen.. I should've known.. Birth control isn't one hundred percent effective.. I'm sorry I didn't take more precautions, it's not fair to you." He shook his head.
She leaned into his hand slightly, a few tears falling down her cheeks. "I know you want this, Killian.. I know you aren't exactly happy with me that I'm not ready, and I know how you feel about our other.. 'Options'.. But I just.. I don't know what to do." She admitted.
He pulled her onto his lap, and held her tightly. "I do want this, but I don't want this if you only agree to keep the baby because you know I want to. I don't want this to be the reason our marriage ends." He told her honestly. "We can look into terminating, Love.. I just want you, my love, to be happy with what we decide. I'm not going to force you into anything. It's your body, and not entirely my decision."
She held onto his prosthetic and laid her head on his shoulder. "I.. You would really be okay with it? If we thought about not keeping it right now?"
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"I would be alright, Swan. I believe it deserves more of a conversation, but I would be okay with anything as long as you're still you and mine.." He asked nervously, hoping she wasn't going to decide right this second.
"We'll talk, I promise.. I just need time, I'll try to be happier for Christmas.. We've been talking about having a baby a lot lately, and you know I'm doing better with my past.. But it's just so sudden, and I'm scared, Killian."
"I know you're scared.. We've been talking about it, and as much as I want to have this baby with you, I'm not going to push you, now might not be our time. We've got time to have a baby when we're ready, if we're ever ready. And it's okay if we're never ready." He assured her.
She hugged his neck tightly. "I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner.. That I told my mom before I told you.. It's just.. After what happened with Neal.. I was scared to tell you.." She trailed off. "I know I've got my walls, and scars.." She sighed.
He hugged back firmly. "It's quite alright, my love.. You don't need to apologize. You told me, and let me in when I know you weren't sure it was what you wanted."
"I ruined Christmas for you, didn't I? You'll only be thinking about how I'm pregnant, and scared and.." She sighed, unable to say that she didn't want to keep the baby.
"You didn't ruin my Christmas, Emma, I've got my family here, and I've got you. Maybe you and I can really talk about this tomorrow though? It'll give you time to cool off, and for us to have a bit of time to think without being so shocked.. And it might help us not be so focused on it for Christmas.." He suggested.
She nodded. "I.. I think I can do that.." She pressed a kiss to his lips. "I love you, Killian. Please never forget that. Thank you for being you, and for.. For understanding.."
He kissed her softly. "I love you so much, Emma. I can't imagine what my life would be like without you. Let's get you cleaned up, and join our family.. Your dad suggested we go to Granny's."
She nodded and got up to wipe the mascara from around her eyes. Killian stayed close to her, his hand resting against her hip. He needed the comfort of her presence as much as she needed him.
"Can I borrow your sweater?" She asked softly, meeting his eyes in the mirror.
"Of course.." He grabbed it from their suitcase and slid it over her head. "There you are, my love." He kissed her forehead.
She grabbed his hand and followed him downstairs to the living room. Mary Margaret gave Killian a look when Emma wasn't looking, and Killian just nodded a little. She nodded back and gave him a reassuring smile. He tried to smile back as Emma leaned herself against his chest and looked at her parents.
"Can we um.. Can we go get dinner now? I'm starving." She asked softly.
David smiled at her, glad to see she was feeling a little better. "Of course we can, Sweetheart. I'm glad to see you're feeling better."
"I still have a headache, but I want to spend some time with you all.." She said softly.
He nodded. "I understand, Sweetie.. We're really glad you guys came all the way here for Christmas. We've missed you, both of you."
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She gave her dad a tentative smile. "I've missed you too, Daddy.." She said softly.
Emma stayed close to Killian all night. She still didn't feel her best, and she liked how safe he made her feel when his arms were around her. Adelaide reached for Killian, wanting her favorite uncle to hold her.
Killian let her crawl into his lap, and she curled up contently. Emma brushed her hand through Adelaide's curls, smiling softly at the baby. Killian kissed the tops of both of their heads.
"My two favorite girls in the entire world." He whispered. "I love you both."
Emma looked up at him and kissed his jaw. "I love you too."
Adelaide grinned at him. "Killy.. Love you." She tried to say as she grabbed onto his shirt.
"Addy.." He said softly, squeezing them both tighter in his embrace. His thoughts drifted to the baby, and Emma. She had been doing so well dealing with her past, and moving forward with him. Killian was scared that this would set her back completely, and they would never have another chance at a baby.
Emma couldn't help but watch Killian interact with his niece. Since Adelaide looked so much like the Jones brothers, it wasn't hard for her to imagine what it would be like if she was Killian's, and hers. She saw a spark in his eyes she had never really noticed before, as he spoke softly to the child.
She thought about if she could be happy with having this baby, if she thought that maybe this was something she really did want. She knew Regina had told her Henry wouldn't be upset if she had another child, but she really needed to hear it from him, himself.
Killian smiled softly at her. "How're are you feeling, Love?" He rubbed her hip with his prosthetic.
"I'm feeling a little better, Babe.. Thank you." She put her arm around his waist.
They were sitting in the back corner of the diner when the bell over the front door rang. Emma looked up and smiled when she saw that it was Henry and Regina.
"Mom!" He smiled and ran to her, hugging her tightly. "You're here!" Regina knew they were coming for Christmas, but hadn't told Henry because she wanted it to be a surprise for him.
Emma let go of Killian and hugged him. "Hey, Kid.. I am, we're here for Christmas." She laid her cheek against his head. "I've missed you so much."
Henry nodded. "I've missed you too, Mom."
Regina smiled a little and sat down at the table with them. "Surprise?" She told him when he looked at her questioningly.
"You knew she and Killian were coming?" He asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wanted to surprise you.. I know that you've missed them lately, and I wanted to see your smile when you saw them." Regina shrugged.
Killian smiled a little. "You've grown so much since the summer. You're getting to be tall, Lad."
Henry shrugged. "I guess so. I've missed you too, Killian." He smiled and sat next to Regina.
"I've missed you too, Lad." Killian nodded as Emma settled back in his arms.
They all ate, their conversation light and happy. Emma didn't say all that much, but she was happy to get to spend time with her entire family. Once they had finished eating she looked to her aunt.
"Regina.. Can I take Henry outside for a few minutes? I have something I want to talk to him about.." Emma asked, nervously biting at her fingernails.
"Of course you can, Emma. Take all the time you need." Regina agreed.
Emma got up with Henry. "Actually, Killian can you come with us?" She asked nervously.
"Aye, Love. I'd be glad to." He passed Adelaide back to her father and followed Emma and Henry outside.
The three of them sat down on a bench in front of Granny's. Killian put his arm around his wife, and Henry sat on her other side.
Emma took a breath. "Henry, I wanted to talk to you about something.. You know how Killian and I are married?"
Henry nodded. "Yeah, I like that you're married, Killian is really cool."
"Well, I.. Killian has asked me if I ever want to have children with him.." She said softly, messing with his hair.
"Do you? I think you'd be a good mom." He said softly.
"Y-you do?" She asked nervously. "I.. I was worried you wouldn't like me to want another kid.." She said softly.
He shrugged. "It's your life, but.. I know why you gave me up, you know.." He told her.
"Oh.." She nodded.
"You gave me up to give me my best chance, Mom.. I'm not stupid. You told me what happened with my dad.. My other mom, I love her a lot, and I'm really glad to have her.." He leaned into her. "I mean.. It'll be hard because they'll get to have you as their mom their whole life.. But, if it's what you want, Mom.. I want you to know I'm okay with it."
She kissed the top of his head. "I wasn't ready to take care of you.. I had just found my family, and I'd been through a lot with Neal.. And even though I hadn't known Regina long, I knew she had been looking to adopt a baby, so I let her adopt you, and while I regret giving you up some days, I know that she was the best thing for you." She said softly.
"I'm just glad that you have become such an amazing kid. Regina has loved and cared for you so much." Emma gave him a small smile.
He smiled. "And now I've got two moms, and.. And a.. And Killian.." He hugged her waist. "So are you and Killian gonna have kids? It'd be cool to be a brother." He grinned.
"I.. I don't know yet. We're thinking about it, I know Killian really wants to be a dad.. But.. You'd be happy if Killian and I had a baby?"
"Yeah, why not? I like Killian, and I've always wished I had a brother or sister.."
Emma had tears in her eyes and hugged him tightly to her. "You're such a strong kid, Henry.. And wise beyond your years.. You can tell me the truth though if you really wouldn't be okay with this.."
"I'm telling you the truth, I promise. You and Killian are married, married people have kids. I just want you to be happy, Mom. I don't want to lose you though.." He said softly as he hugged back tightly.
"Thank you, Henry.. I love you so much. You're never going to lose me. I will always be here, nothing will take me away." She whispered.
"I love you too, Mom. If you guys have kids will I get to say I'm their big brother? Even if I don't live with you.."
"Well, I don't see a problem with it, Lad." Killian smiled. "Any kid would be lucky to have you as a brother."
Emma nodded in agreement and kissed Henry's head. "I love you so much, Kid.. Thank you for being so amazing. You're too smart for your own good." She laughed softly.
Henry smiled and hugged her. "I love you too, Mom.. And you too, Killian."
Killian smiled. "I love you too, Lad." He stood up and offered Emma his hand. "Do you feel any better, Love?"
She nodded a little and grabbed his hand. "Yeah, a little bit.. Henry, I promise you and I will spend some time together before Killian and I fly back to Boston, okay?"
He smiled and nodded. "Okay, Mom. I love you, and don't worry. I really just want you to be happy. You gave me my best chance.. I want you to have yours too."
She smiled and followed Henry back into Granny's. Killian wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her head. "Thank you for including me in that conversation, Swan. It really means a lot to me."
She nodded. "You're welcome, I'm glad you were there, his opinions affect your future as well.. I just.. I needed to talk to him before we had our talk later.." She said softly.
Killian nodded. "I understand. I love you, Swan." He said softly.
"I love you too, Babe." She hugged his waist.
Mary Margaret gave Killian a knowing look over Emma's head as they sat back down at the table. She had a feeling what Emma had wanted to talk with Henry about, and was glad to see that all three of them were happy when they came back inside.
Emma closed her eyes. "I.. I don't want to be annoying, but.. Can we go home? My head still hurts a little.."
David nodded. "Sweetheart, you're not annoying, if you don't feel well of course we'll head back to the house."
Liam bounced Adelaide. "If it's alright, Elsa, the kids and I will just go to our room at the bed and breakfast now. I know Emma doesn't feel well, and we don't want to overwhelm you all with us being around."
"You all don't have to, Liam.. It's no problem for one of us to drive you back here later." Mary Margaret said.
"That's very sweet, but I think after the flight a good night's rest is best for the boys.. We don't mind at all, and we'll see you in the morning." Liam smiled.
"Alright, well, call us if you need anything. I'll send David to come pick you all up in the morning. I thought I might make some Christmas cookies if the boys would be interested in helping decorate them tomorrow?"
Elsa smiled. "I think they'd love that. We'll be ready to come over in the morning."
They all hugged goodbye. Liam kissed Emma's forehead. "You take care of yourself, Lass. I know my brother will do whatever he can for you."
She hugged him. "I know, he's a good man. We'll see you tomorrow, Liam."
He nodded and Addy reached out to hug her too. "Em! Em!" She smiled.
Emma took the little girl into her arms and hugged her tightly. "Addy.. I'll see you tomorrow, Sweetheart." She smiled and kissed her cheek.
Adelaide hugged Emma tightly and nodded. " 'Kay." She smiled. "Love you." She tried to say.
"I love you too, Addy." Emma whispered before passing her back to Liam, who was watching them with a gentle smile.
David took Liam, Elsa and the kids around to the inn part of Granny's and Emma turned to Killian.
"I don't want to wait until tomorrow to talk, I want to talk tonight." She said softly. Knowing Henry was happy with them having children, she thought maybe she could handle this.
Killian nodded. "We can do that, Love. I have something I want to give you before we talk about this though, if that's okay?"
She nodded, and kissed his cheek.
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