Emma didn't get a chance to talk to Henry about her possibly wanting a baby before they had to leave. Emma wanted to talk to Killian before anything, she needed his perspective. So, when they got back to Boston, Emma knew they had to talk about the future of their family. Killian laid on the couch and pulled her to sit between his legs. She leaned back against his chest and pulled his arms around her.

"Kil.. I want to talk about something." She said softly.

"Aye, Love.. You can tell me anything. What's wrong?" He rubbed his thumb against her hip soothingly.

"I.. I want to talk about us having children." She said softly. "I know how badly you want to be a dad, to have a baby with me.." She turned to look at him a little.

He brushed her hair back. "I have thought about it, Love.. But it's not the end of the world. I just want to hear your side, and your fears or anything. What are you scared about?"

"I.. I'm worried that.. That if I had another baby and kept it, that Henry wouldn't want to be around me anymore.." She admitted softly. "I feel guilty for wanting another baby.." She sighed.

"Oh, Love.." He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I don't want you to feel guilty.. But if I learned anything about Henry while he was visiting us, it's that he's just excited and happy that he gets to know you.. The lad is not going to be upset that you have another baby. He's a very smart boy, and he understands why you gave him up."

She sighed. "But.. I'm nervous.. What if I'm not going to be a good mom.. When I've been with Henry he was already grown up. I've never had to care for a baby, I just.. I'm scared Killian. I gave up my son, doesn't that already make me a bad mom?"

"Love, I'm scared as well. It doesn't make you a bad mom, I believe it makes you a good mom. You wanted him to have what you couldn't provide him. But I know that we can do this, as long as we do it together. If one of us doesn't want it completely, then we shouldn't have a baby." He brushed his fingers through her hair. "I love you, and you're everything to me."

She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers in her hair. "I.. Can I have more time? I want to give you the family I know you've always wanted, Killian.. I really do, but I just want to want it too. I'd do it just to make you happy, but you deserve to have kids with a woman who wants them just as much as you do."

"Take all the time you need, Emma. We've got time to think about it. We've only been married a few months." He kissed her temple. "And I want you, if we don't have children I'll still be happy just because I get to spend my life with you."

She pulled his arms tighter around her waist. "Thank you." She whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, Gorgeous." He said softly. "I'd do anything for you, my love." He squeezed her waist gently and kissed the crown of her head.

Even after their talk, Emma was still unsure about everything. She knew that while he would be upset for a little while, he would never leave her if she told him she didn't want any more kids. She knew he loved her more than anything, the past few months had been enough proof of that for her.

They talked about expanding their family many times over the next six months. Emma was still battling with her past and a guilty feeling, and Killian was patient and understanding with her each time. Emma could feel herself liking the idea more and more as she admitted her fears to him. Until right before Christmas, when she started to feel under the weather.

Christmas was the next time Killian and Emma were able to visit Storybrooke. Mary Margaret insisted that Liam, Elsa and the kids join them as well, so the entire Jones family made their way to Maine.

Emma had not been feeling herself for a few days leading up to the trip. She had a bad headache, and had been feeling nauseous. She sat next to Killian and Elsa on the plane, and Killian immediately wrapped his arms around her.

"Close your eyes, Love.. I know you aren't feeling well. I've got you." He whispered, kissing her temple.

Emma nodded and fell asleep against his chest shortly after take off. Elsa looked at Killian, rubbing Adelaide's back.

"Emma's been sick?" She frowned.

"Aye, she's had a headache and nausea the last couple of days.. I feel terrible, we're going to visit her family and she doesn't feel well.. But, I think it's just stress related." He said softly.

"I'm sorry.. Being sick is never fun. It was really sweet of Emma's parents to invite Liam and I, the kids are happy they still get to be with their favorite uncle." She gave him a small smile.

"I may have mentioned that I always spend the holidays with you because you're my only family.. And that you weren't able to see Anna and Kris this year.. Mary Margaret wouldn't listen to another word before she was insisting you and the kids come as well." Killian shrugged.

Elsa nodded. "You're a good man, Killy." She teased, using his old nickname just to see him smile. "It's kind of nice for us to have family again, you know?"

He nodded and smiled a little. "You haven't called me Killy since I was a teenager.. Just the kids call me that.." He laughed. "But I agree, Lass. It is a nice feeling, to have people who love me.. And isn't you or Liam.." He said softly. "Emma has given me so much, added a lot of love to my life."

"Have you two thought about having children someday?" Elsa asked curiously.

Killian fiddled with the end of Emma's hair. "Um.. It's.. It's a difficult topic for us right now." He sighed. "I want to have children, and I think she does too.. But she's terrified of it, and feels guilty for even thinking about it because of what she went through with Henry, and with her own parents."

"I'm so sorry, Killian. I didn't know, or I wouldn't have brought it up." Elsa felt bad about asking.

"It's not your fault, I've only briefly mentioned it to Liam. You couldn't have known. I told her I don't need children to be happy, I long ago accepted that your children would be the closest I came.. And that's enough for me. She is absolutely enough for me. And we have Henry." He kissed the crown of her head.

Adelaide reached for him and he offered her his hand to play with so he wouldn't wake his wife. She seemed content to hold onto his finger. Elsa smiled a little at her daughter.

"I understand.. It'll all work out how it's supposed to, and you'll have a wonderful life together." Elsa tried to assure him. Killian nodded at her words.

Emma slept the entire flight, only waking when Killian gently woke her so they could get off the plane. She held onto his hand tightly as he helped her off the plane.

Killian hated how miserable she looked and felt. Emma held onto him as they approached her parents. Mary Margaret kissed her forehead when she noticed the look on her face.

"Oh, Sweetheart.. If you were sick you didn't have to still come.." She frowned.

"No, Mom.. I was coming to see you and Dad.. And Leo, and Henry. We made plans, I'll be fine. My headache will go away soon I'm sure." Emma shook her head.

She nodded and greeted Liam, Elsa and the kids. David took Killian and Emma's bag so that Killian was able to stay with Emma. When they got back to the Nolan's house, Killian took Emma straight up to her bedroom to lie down.

He rubbed her back gently and kissed her forehead. "Do you want me to lie with you, Love?"

She shook her head. "No, go with your family, help Liam and Elsa with the kids.." She said softly, kissing his arm since it was closest to her.

He nodded and left her to get some rest. Mary Margaret came up to the bedroom to check on her daughter after a little while.

"Emma, Sweetie?" She said softly, gently rubbing her back.

Emma looked up at her mom and moved so she could hug her tightly. "Momma.. I.. I'm scared." She whimpered.

"Oh, what's wrong, Honey?" She held her daughter, hoping to comfort her.

"I.. I haven't had a headache like this in years, Mom.. And I keep feeling nauseous." She said softly. Emma had a feeling she knew what was wrong, but she was scared to tell Killian.

"Talk to me about it, Emma.. I'm here for you, what's got you so scared.." She ran her fingers through her daughter's hair.

She leaned her head on her mom's shoulder. "I'm scared because.. Because the last time I felt like this.. I.. I found out I was pregnant with Henry.." Emma spoke so softly if she hadn't been so close to Mary Margaret she probably wouldn't have heard her.

"I see.. Do you think you and Killian aren't ready to have a baby?" She kissed her forehead. Mary Margaret had had a feeling she knew what was going on when she came up here. She had felt the same headache and nausea when she had been pregnant.

"Killian is ready, he'd love to have kids.. I just don't know if I want a baby, if I'm ready. I love Killian more than anything in the entire world, and I know he'd be an amazing father. But this wasn't planned. I-I can't, Mom." She had tears in her eyes.

"How about I get you a test, and we take it a little bit at a time? I want you to be sure before you worry yourself even sicker over it, okay?"

Emma nodded. "Thank you, Mom.. I.. I want to know for sure, and how I feel before I tell Killian. Can I lie back down for a while? My head is still pounding." She said softly.

"Of course, get your rest and I'll go to the store. Everything is going to be just fine." She assured her. She tucked Emma back into bed and pressed a kiss to her forehead before she went downstairs.

Emma slept all afternoon, until her mom came back from the drugstore with a test for her. Emma took it from her.

"Stay with me while I wait? Please?" Emma asked, terrified that this test was going to confirm her fears. Mary Margaret assured her she wasn't going anywhere.

Emma sat on the floor in her bathroom as she waited for the test results. Her mother sat next to her and held her.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, and I'm so glad that you've come to me with this. But, I know Killian is worried about you, and he would like to be here with you.." She told her softly.

"I can't let him see me like this, Mom.. He deserves to be with someone who is actually happy to be having a baby with him, not me." Emma sighed softly.

"I understand.. Your father and I struggled when we found out we were having Leo.. We had spent a lot of our time trying to find you again, and then we suddenly had another chance to be parents.. I was so worried about how you would feel if we found you, knowing we had another child and were able to keep him.."

Mary Margaret ran her fingers through Emma's hair gently. "But I had always wanted to be a mom, and we hadn't been able to find you.. Which is why we decided to keep Leo.. Your father told me I couldn't stop living my life, he and I were married, and we didn't have an evil step-mother breathing down my back.." She said softly.

"You really felt bad about wanting to keep Leo?" Emma asked softly.

"Of course.. I had so wanted to keep you, and I felt guilty for wanting to keep him, and actually being able to do so. Is that what you're worried about, Sweetie? Allowing yourself to want a child that you're able to keep this time?" Mary Margaret rubbed her back gently.

Emma nodded a little. "I know Henry grew up knowing he had family.. But.. When I met David, uh Dad.. And then I found out he was my dad, and then met you and Leo.. It killed me.. It killed me to know that you and he had another child, but got rid of me.." She shook her head.

"I don't know how you do it, Mom.. It took a long time for me to stop resenting Leo's existence.. I know you both try very hard, and I know you love me as much as you love Leo.. But I just don't think I deserve to have another child and be a mom.."

"Emma, you're allowed to want a child with your husband.. You two may not have been married all that long, and I know you really are only married right now for him to stay here.. But I know that he loves you, he gives you that same look your father gives me when he thinks I'm not looking. And I've never seen you so open and happy, Emma. You need to let yourself be happy, to be completely open in your marriage."

Emma took a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah.. Killian and I talk about it a lot, but it's usually just me telling him I'm not ready yet. Or me telling him how I feel and him being so amazing and just playing with my hair to soothe me, and speaking softly to reassure me."

Mary Margaret nodded and kissed her head. "It's time, Honey.. I'll be right here, okay? If you need to cry or anything, I'm here for you, Baby.." Mary Margaret handed her the test, her arms still around her daughter.

Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking at the test. When she saw the results she started crying, turning in her mother's arms and sobbing. "I can't, Mom.. No.. I can't do it." She sobbed.