《Daddy, I love you.》XV
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She wants to go on a drive and so that is what we did. We drove for god knows how long, it was just us in one of my Jeeps that I took the back windows out of. There was so much laughter and silence too, it was great. We pulled up to this little hotel and decided to crash there for the night. This should be fun
My sister calls me;
"Hey" she says
"Hey" I say sitting down on the bed
"Are you ready for the party?" She yells
"No" I say calmly
"Oh well-" I cut her off
"I have to go" and just like that I just hang up.
Cassidy is just looking out the window well shes pressing her face on the window and making herself laugh. God I love her so much "daddy" she says I just hum in response. "I don't know I just wanted to know you were awake" she climbs on to the bed and lays next to me.
"Sometimes I want to go see my mom I don't know how I would find her but yeah just to tell her off or something. Its like I can't let go you know?" She sighs "let's fly out to where you used to live, I have people who can track her down if shes not like 6ft underground and I'll go to the cemetery because I want to stop blaming myself for my dad's death" I came feel the emptiness crawling from somewhere inside of me.
"After the party?" she places her arm on my chest "yeah" I manage to choke out "are you sad?" I can feel her looking at me "no" I lie "why are you lying? don't you trust me?" She sits up "I do, its just that I don't want to talk about it" I don't mean for it to come out harsh but it does. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I talk to you about things" she snaps back "its not the same" i yell
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"You can trust me" I hear her groan "I rather not, im sorry I wasn't sold and raped like you" she gasps and runs towards the door. I don't even try to stop her, we're both pretty mad at the moment I don't want us to fight even more. I don't know what got into me, I don't know what I was thinking I just don't fucking know anymore.
I don't know for how long i sit and stare at the blue wall, it never changes it just stayed the same and I hate that. I didn't even know when she came back but she stumbled on her way in maybe I should talk to her, we should talk things out and not let it get worse. I walk into the bathroom and hear her soft cries.
"My fault, my fault im ugly, my fault im fat, my fault I don't have a daddy, my fault Vince doesn't love me back, my fault he touched me, my fault, my fucking fault" she screams and then a laugh escapes her lips, shes drunk off her ass. "Cassidy" i touch her but she pulls back "don't touch me" I can hear the venom in her voice.
"Please let's talk this out" I sit across from her "you hate me" she laughs again but this time its a sad laugh "no I love you very much" i sigh "t-then why would you s-say those things t-to hurt me?" I embrace her in a hug before she has the time to cry, she hits my chest and tries to pull away but I don't let her.
"I was mad and it was in the moment I didn't mean it, I love you so fucking much. I know im an asshole I don't know how to not be sometimes but im sorry I said those bad things to you" i let her go and push her hair back, her eyes are red and her lip is quivering a bit. "You're so mean" she says "I know"
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We sit in silence and she wipes away her tears "you're still my boyfriend" she says "I can't let you go that easy because someone else will have your heart" I can hear the pain in her voice. She hugs me and I hug her back while I kiss her head "you're not 21 yet, where'd you get alcohol?" I question
"The guy at the bar didnt care, he just made me drinks and heard my sob story" she shrugs, I pick her up and she lays her head on my shoulder. "I love you" she yawns after I put her down and she drifts off to sleep. This is what I love about our relationship, we kiss then make up and its all okay sometimes but we make it work I guess.
Today is the day of Cassidy's party, we're back home and she's spent her day in one of her many princess dresses running around and playing with her toys. "I have to go to the barber shop" i announce making her frown a bit "I wanna come too" she quickly grabs her shoes and meets me at the door "you are just too cute" I kiss her cheek making her giggle.
She sits at the shop surrounded by men talking and the tv blaring. "You've got a cute little girl" the guy says to me and I smile at her, making her come and grab my hand. "You look good" she smiles, once we're done I pay and we are out the door well Cassidy tugs on my arm.
"You're a little anxious today aren't you?" I bend down to her level "party!" She squeals making me laugh "you're going to look so beautiful im not going to let you out of my sight all night" I pull her closer to me and kiss her neck. "Not now daddy, we're in public" she whimpers "even better, we have an audience" I smirk.
I pull away and she kisses my cheek "daddy lets go home we only have a couple hours to get ready!" she jumps up and down "calm down princess" I open the door for her and buckle her on "sorry, its just im so ready" she kisses me.
We drive home and she runs around "straighten my hair please, if we start now it won't take forever later" she pouts "that is true" we go upstairs and she sits in one of her princess chairs and turns on the tv singing along to the theme song of the show. I start on her hair and make her beautiful even though she already is. Tonight is going to be a good night.
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