"Wish us luck?"

"Of course! Good luck boys. Don't slip on stage," i say, adding a wink. I earned a couple eye rolls at that.

"We'll try our best," Harry teases. I giggle as the announcer says they're coming on.

"I believe that's your cue."

They all bounce onto the stage as What Makes You Beautiful plays. I watch them again just like I had the night before. It was basically the same show as last nights. Not much changed in the routine. I still watched though. This concert went by a lot quicker than the last one seemed to.

As the ending came near I couldn't help but remember last night and how they pulled me up on stage and forced me to sing. Honestly, part of me was hoping they would do it again. I actually did enjoy singing in front of people. The only thing I didn't like about that little scheme last night was that they didn't let me know that 'Hey! You might be singing in front of 12345678 people tonight!' which would have been a piece of useful information.

Sadly, they didn't call me up again. When the last song ended they said their goodbyes and exited the stage for the night.

"You guys were great!" I say to them as they come backstage, completely on a high from performing.

"Thanks! We have to do a meet and greet now. You and Claire coming?" Harry asks. I look down at Claire who was looking off into space at two of the workers who appeared to be arguing. I shrug.

"Sure, I guess."

"Great!"

We follow the boys through a series of hallways and through a couple doors before we get to the right place. I don't know how they find things so easily. I guess every venue is pretty similar backstage. That, or they've done a show here before.

"OH MY GOSH! THERE THEY ARE! AHHH!" I heard about a million girls scream at the top of their teenage lungs. I cover Claire's ears with my hands.

"It's loud!" she whines.

"I know. Do you want to leave?" She nods. I sigh and tap Niall on the shoulder. He was the one closest to me. "I'm gonna take Claire outside. She doesn't like the noise and honestly neither do I," I tell him once he's looking at me. He nods.

"Okay. You can always hang out in our dressing room too if you'd prefer. Whatever you want." I smile and thank him before taking Claire's hand and leading her back out the way we came in. After getting lost about eight times I finally find the boys dressing room.

"Why do all those girls scream when they see Niall and Liam and Hazza and Louis and Zayn? Are they afraid of them or....or think that they're scary? I don't think they're scary..." Claire asks. I chuckle and sit down on one of the couches.

"No it's just because they're excited to see them. A lot of them have wanted to meet the boys for a long long time."

"Why?" she scrunches up her face. "Louis' feet smell. Why would anyone wanna meet him?" I laugh and pull her into a hug.

Gosh, I wish she would never grow up. I love her just how she is. Her little 4-year-old confused self. There was still so many questions about the world and so many answers to discover. She didn't know how scary the real world could truly be.

I didn't either until it smacked me in the face at the age of fifteen.

I flick on the television and scroll through the channels list until I decide to watch one of those gossip shows where they inform you about celebrities. They always humor me. Half of it is lies.

"More details later about Miley Cyrus's new hair cut! Right now what's up with One Direction and that new girl Alexis? More particularly Niall Horan." I hit record, knowing this would be good. If I got the chance I would show it to the other boys later before we leave. "We've got news that today she attempted to attack a local bystander who was minding her own business. We got a chance to chat with the victim here," says the news lady as the screen cuts to a video of the bitch who was insulting Niall.

"Yeah I was out to lunch and I happened to see One Direction there so I nicely asked them for a quick picture. Before I know it that crazy girl, Alexandra or whatever, was coming at me trying to kill me. She should have been arrested. Probably would have been if the boys weren't there to defend her," the girl says innocently. I clench my teeth and ball up my fists.

"Well there you have it," the news lady was back. "We've also dug a little deeper and uncovered some juicy secrets about Alexis Blake's past! Here we discovered that when she was only fifteen her parents and boyfriend were killed by an intruder in her own home. Sources say that she has been struggling to support herself and her two other siblings for over three years now by working as a photographer at her uncle’s company."

They call that juicy secrets?! That's my terrible past that I've been trying to forget and move on from since it happened! What gives them the right to take my life and broadcast it out to the world like that without my permission? How did they even find out all that stuff? I'm not a celebrity. This shouldn't be happening.

"Is it possible that the boys we all love from One Direction are only giving Alexis a place to stay because they feel sorry for her? Or is their friendship true? We also suspect she could possibly be looking for money from the band to help her with her rough income situation."

Can you say bullshit?

"We also snapped this picture of Niall Horan leaving her hotel room last night at two in the morning without a shirt on! Any wonders of what the reason could be? Something tells us that there's more than just friendship going on there!" I click off the television, hearing enough.

Dumb fucks. Niall sleeps shirtless. He gets hungry at two in the morning. We share a hotel room! He probably went looking for food around that time. Why are people so stupid?

I decide to log on Twitter. I scroll through my mentions.

@ILoveYou1D: Anyone else watching MTV right now?? I can't believe that slut @Lexiboo2 is sleeping with my future husband!

@MrsStyles1: @Lexiboo2 Why would you attack that innocent girl!? What kind of person are you?!

@HoranLover4: @Lexiboo2 Niall deserves better. Mooching off him for money is wrong. You deserve to die if you believe in that.

@ZiamShip365: I hope @Lexiboo2 goes and stays with her parents for the rest of forever ;)

I try not to let the tears fall. Claire was in the room right now. i couldn't break down in front of her.

@Smileforniallxx: Ugh I wish you all would stop hating on @Lexiboo2 After all that she's been thru and you write her these things? Wow heartless...every1 knows those TV shows lie!

That last one made me smile, so I followed the girl and retweeted her. I decided not to tweet anything until I showed it to Niall and the others. I scroll through my earlier tweets from today.

@Lexiboo2: I have a feeling today will be a good day :) xx

Wow was I wrong. Today really actually sucks. Between what happened earlier with that bitch in the restaurant and now all these lies about me on television, this day is the opposite of good.

"Hey!" Louis says loudly as he comes into the room. I give him the 'shush' sign and pointed to Claire who was sleeping on the couch, oblivious to the world around her. He smiled and took a picture on his phone.

"Are you okay?" Niall asks me, looking worried. I shake my head no. He rushes over to me and sits by me. The others join and try to ask me what's wrong. I click the TV back on and show them the recording. I don't say anything, just stare at my hands as they watch the screen. I was grateful Claire was asleep so she didn't have to see all this drama.

"Oh my god...." Zayn says when the recording ends.

"There's more," I state, pulling out my phone and showing them the millions of hate tweets from their fans. Niall looked pissed. All the boys did. They each pulled out their cell phones and typed away for a moment. My phone dinged, indicating that the boys tweeted.

@Zaynmalik: Please don't hate on @Lexiboo2 she didn't do anything wrong xx

@Harry_Styles: Not sure what you all have heard but @Lexboo2 didn't harm anyone. She would never do that. Television needs to stop lying x

@Louis_Tomlinson: Don't believe everything you hear on TV. @Lexiboo2 IS INNOCENT!! Stop the h8 please...

@Real_Liam_Payne: Guys @Lexiboo2 is one of our closest friends and the strongest/sweetest person I know. Please do not be mean to her...

@NiallOfficial: @Lexiboo2 and I are NOT dating. Just to confirm that. Please don't hate on her she's an amazing friend and hasn't done anything wrong.

I smile at them. "Thank you. Hopefully it will die down a bit."

"No problem. I'm sure we can clear up the rumors as well," Liam tells me with a smile. I sigh.

"I'm really tired. Today has been....just a lot to handle at one time. I'm ready to sleep," I say with a weak smile. We go back to the tour bus and drive to the hotel. As soon as we reach the room I just change straight into my pajamas before falling onto the couch and going to sleep with my stuffed animals surrounding me. Of course I brought them along for the tour. Don't judge me...

"You don't deserve this."

"Just go and die."

"Niall deserves better than a slut like you!"

"Whore!"

"Gold digging bitch!"

"Why are you even still here?! Just commit suicide already!"

A million voices shout out horrible things at me. I cover my ears with my hands to block it out but the sounds are still as clear as ever.

"Leave me alone!" I shout. "I didn't do anything wrong! Why do you hate me?!" I begged to know.

"You don't deserve Niall!" another voice yells.

"We aren't dating!" I cry. "The news reporter lied!" I shut my eyes tight.

"Lexi," I hear Niall's voice say to me. I look up and see him standing a few feet away.

"Niall?"

"What do you mean we aren't dating?" he looked hurt and crushed. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Niall....we aren't going out. Are we?"

"Alexis we've been dating for a year now...." I stare at him, confused.

"What?"

"Don't you remember?" I was so confused. Am I dating Niall? He never asked me out. I never asked him out. Nothing ever happened between us besides friendship. What is going on?

Niall turned and walked away. "Niall..." he keeps walking. ”Niall! Come back!" No response. "Please, come back! Don't leave!"

"You don't deserve him."

"You're not good enough for Niall."

"He would never want someone with as screwed up a life as yours."

More voices swarm my ears. "Go away!" I yell.

I open my eyes and look around the hotel room. Niall was standing in the small kitchen area with a glass of water in his hand, staring at me with his eyes wide. I didn't know why, but I didn't ask. I check the time. Two in the morning. I sigh as a tear rolls down my cheek. He walks over and comforts me.

"I thought they ended," I choke out. "I thought my dreams had stopped."

"Was it about your parents?" I shake my head no. "Jake?" Another head shake. He looks at me quizzically.

"It was about..." I trail off. Should I tell him? That might be a little weird. It was a dream where I was dating Niall. My best friend.

"You can tell me," he says. I take a deep breath.

"It was about you," I say quickly, getting it out there. He looked surprised. I hope he doesn't think too much of it and ask for details. But no. If he didn't ask for details that would just be too simple.

"What about me?"

"In the dream... we were.....dating," I mumble, barely audible.

"What was that?" he asks, unable to hear me.

"Um, maybe I shouldn't share this dream...." I say, biting my lip. I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him the hurtful things people were yelling at me in my dream. I wanted to tell him about how confused I was when he said we had been dating a year already. I wanted to tell him everything, but I couldn't. Not this dream.

"Lex, you can tell me anything. You know that."

"I know I know. But this dream was...weird. It might make things...strange...between us. Which is the last thing I want. Maybe I'll tell you about it another day." I stare at the ground.

"It can't be that bad Lex."

"Niall....please?" He looks at me weirdly before sighing.

"Okay. Fine, don't tell me." I give him a small grateful smile but he looked a bit hurt that I wouldn't admit what happened. I usually tell him everything. Except for this.

He sings to me to help me get back to sleep just like every night. I close my eyes and pretend to doze off. When he thinks that I'm sleeping he goes back to bed. After I hear him lightly snoring I open my eyes. I need some time alone to think and now's the perfect chance.

As much as I want to tell Niall all about my dream I can't. I kept thinking back to what Claire said before we left for the tour. About how Niall 'fancied' me. Also on the bus the other day when Louis teased him about enjoying the position we were in and when he didn't deny it.

Niall liked me. It's becoming obvious at this point. He clearly didn't want to admit it though. I'm happy he hasn't yet. I like our relationship how it is for now. Best friends. I'm sure one day I wouldn't mind dating Niall. He's attractive, kind, fun, caring....

But there's always that one nagging thought in the back of my head that will remain there probably until the day I die. It's kept me from love for three years and still does to this day.

Jake.

He died for me. There's no way any other guy could compete with that. Not that I'm asking them too it's just that I'll always remember that. It's not something that can be forgotten in any way.

It doesn't help a single bit that I was in love when he gave his life. We were planning to get married. We had our life worked out in front of us.

But our plans were ruined by that man.

I'm not saying that I'll never find love again I just don't know if I’m ready yet. I suppose I'm as ready now as I'll ever be. How much longer can I wait?

If I don't start to let go of Jake now I'll probably keep putting it off until I'm eighty years old living alone with my eleven cats. I don't want that.

At three in the morning that night I figured something out. It's been years since he left. He's long gone. He's not coming back. I figured out what I needed to do.

I needed to move on.

AUTHORS NOTE