jordyn dolan

"Oh, they're coming now." The doctor smiled at me, but I didn't change my facial expression at all.

"Now?" I asked them groaned as another contraction hit.

"You're ten centimeters dilated, Momma." She motioned for some nurses to wheel me over to the delivery room.

Ethan followed us into the delivery room that was just a few hallway turns from where we were before.

"Ethan, Ethan." I held out my hand for him as the nurses walked out of the room to prepare for the delivery.

"Ready?" He smiled super big.

"No." I shook my head as a couple tears fell. "I can't do it."

"Of course you can." He ran his fingers through my hair.

"I'm so scared." I shook my head. "I can't do it."

"Hey, hey." He sat on the edge of the bed and held my cheeks. "You're the strongest person I know, I hope you know that."

"But this is so different. I can't push a whole human out of me and I have to do it two times."

"You can do this, I know you can."

"I'm really, really scared." My fingers were shaking.

"Alright, it's baby time, Momma." The doctor came back in the room.

"No, no, no, no, no." I sat up more. "I'm not ready."

The doctor and Ethan made direct eye contact. She put her hands on my feet and smiled my direction.

"You're going to be the best mother these little ones could ask for. You and Ethan both are ready for them and they are dying to come out to meet you. They wanna hug their Mommy." She smiled brightly and I nodded.

"Okay." I took in a deep breath and grabbed Ethan's hand. "I want to meet them." I looked into Ethan's eyes and a smile formed.

"Me too." He kissed my hand and I turned back to the doctor.

"Alright, let's get your two out of there." She smiled and began to prepare herself even more. "In three, I need you to push really hard, alright-baby one is ready."

I squeezed Ethan's hand super tight.

"Three, two, one." She said and I pushed as hard as I could.

Lets just say, it hurt like a bitch.

I screamed and held Ethan's hand even tighter than before.

"Okay, okay." The doctor said and I took in a few deep breathes. "Feeling okay?"

"Uh, no! I'm pushing a live ass human out of my ass."

"Oh, yikes, calm down baby." Ethan put his hand on my back and awkwardly laughed.

"I don't see you pushing a human out of your ass. I just see your head up it."

"Oh," He looked at the doctor. "Time to push again?" She nodded and I groaned out of pain.

"Three, two, one." She said and I pushed even harder.

"Baby, I think you're squeezing my hands a little too tight."

"Ethan. I. Swear. To. God. If you don't shut u-" I screamed.

"He's almost here. One last push."

"He?" Ethan whispered like he didn't know we were having a boy and a girl.

I was determined to get this baby out. I gave it my all and pushed one last time.

I heard a couple gasps come throughout the room. I felt a sense of ease of pain and could take a few exhales.

The doctors took the baby away to a counter, but I heard no crying. I was so confused. At least four doctors were over there with my baby boy.

"What's going on? Why isn't he crying? Is he okay?" I asked the doctor who was delivering my babies.

"Jordyn." She looked directly at me. "You have to push for the second baby, she wants out now.

"But what about-"

"Jordyn." She said again.

"You have to push." Ethan grabbed my hand. "You still got one more in there." He lightly smiled.

I nodded my head quickly and took a deep breath.

"Okay." The doctor said. "Now push!"

I tried. I really tried as much as I could, but I couldn't.

"I can't." Tears started to stream down my face as I shook my head. "I can't do it."

"You can do this." Ethan grabbed my head and pulled me into his chest. "You're doing so much more than I could ever ask for, but there's only one thing I need you to do. I need you to let our babygirl come into the real world. I need you to do this."

"I can't do it." I whispered and cried.

"Yes you can. You are the strongest person I've ever met. You're the only person I know who has struggled for almost their entire childhood and you managed to get through it. This is just one more hard thing to do, but you can do it. You always do it. So, can we meet our little girl?"

I nodded my head and turned to face the doctor again. I grabbed Ethan's hand and pushed as hard as I could.

"Halfway there, Jordyn. Keep pushing." She said.

I squeezed Ethan's hand even tighter and let out an even harder push. I wanted to see my baby girl.

"Fu-" I screamed.

"Perfect. You're done." The doctor said and walked over to the table where the babies were.

I heard her cries.

"You did it." Ethan wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head while I wiped some of my tears.

"Emergency, now." I heard the doctor just barely. A few of the doctors had place our boy in the small plastic bed on wheels. They were tapping at his chest as they walked out of the room.

"Where are they going with him?" Ethan asked with some anger in his voice.

"The emergency room." Our doctor walked up to us while a nurse was wrapping our little girl up. "As soon as I know something, I'll give you both the updates."

I turned to Ethan and he looked scared and worried.

"He's going to be okay, right?" He asked again.

"Once I know something, I'll let you know." She nodded and walked over to the counter where our baby girl.

I looked up to Ethan and he continued to look worried. I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me.

"He'll be okay, I know he will." I kissed his cheek and he pulled back. A light smile appeared from his cheeks.

"Do you two have a name for her yet?" The doctor carried our little one towards us.

"Xela Rose." I smiled up at Ethan.

"Xela is a very gorgeous girl." She gently handed me my baby and I rested her in my arms.

"Oh my-" I whispered in awe. "She has your lips, baby." I whispered.

Ethan leaned over and kissed the side of my forehead. He lightly brushed his thumb across her cheek.

"She's perfect." He smiled. "So perfect."