"Push! Push! Come on you gotta push!" Kelso yelled.

"How much longer?" Hyde asked.

"10 seconds, you gotta push harder or it's not gonna work!"

"This is so stupid!" Hyde complained.

"It's not stupid! You're gonna love it!" Kelso insisted. "Ok that's time!" Kelso said excitedly.

Fez and Hyde stepped away from the wall with their arms floating. They smiled in amazement at the sensation.

Lucy turned around on the couch to look at them, resting her hand on her cheek, "You guys look like idiots," she said bluntly.

Hyde stuck his tongue out at her and Lucy just mimicked his childish behavior.

Eric came down the stairs holding cans of pop. As per usual, Jackie complained. "I told you my top three choices—"

"Well my top three choices are you being polite, shutting up, or leaving!" Lucy snapped angrily.

She usually didn't yell at the girl, and the shock on Jackie's face proved it. Lucy was usually the one to keep peace between the others and Jackie, because sometimes Donna wanted to strangle her. The way Jackie complained this time just hit Lucy the wrong way. She knew about their money problems, she knew they had the cheap soda, and she knew that everyone else knew. Lucy felt terrible for her father and the entire situation in general was embarrassing.

Jackie just sat down quietly next to Kelso. The others looked at Lucy quizzically. But no one brought it up or the sodas again.

Hyde came around to the couch and sat down next Lucy, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer as the others continued talking about school. Lucy didn't even think twice when she leaned closer to Hyde and rested her head on his shoulder, laughing gently at the comments Donna made about the English teacher.

"Kids, kids, kids, kids!" Kitty came dashing down the stairs. "The President's coming!"

"What President?" Eric asked confused.

"The President of these United States, Gerald R. Ford, the 36th—8th—40th. I don't know, he's our president!" Kitty exclaimed.

"The President? Coming to Wisconsin? Point Place of all places?" Lucy asked doubtfully.

"We're one of his whistle stops along his Wisconsin campaign trail. My dad organized it!" Jackie explained.

"Dear, the next time you know the President is coming to town please give me a little more notice. I need to vacuum. Eric, tidy up the basement. Lucy, I'll need help making a pie." Kitty darted back up the stairs, as if the president was coming to their house.

❁

Everyone was lined up against the wall of the auditorium, waiting for the announcement from their principal to be over with.

"Settle down and we'll start the assembly," the principal droned, "Now concerning the canned goods drive, motor oil is not food."

Lucy quietly booed in the back, resulting in a chain reaction of everyone booing.

"I'm sorry and all your booing isn't going to make it one. Now, as you all know, President Ford will be visiting our fair city and I know there are some ne'er-do-wells out there that may be planning a social type protest."

"I can't believe this. Who cares if Ford is coming?" Hyde leaned his head against the brick wall.

"Are you kidding? This is the town that got excited over the Oscar Meyer Weineemobile," Lucy pointed out.

"They didn't even stop, they just drove by and threw hot dog whistles at us," Donna said disgusted.

"Two girls in a phallic rv, driving around handing out things you blow, what a great country," Hyde said with a grin.

"Well, everyone's got their kinks," Lucy said rolling her eyes as Hyde shoved her.

"So let me tell you another thing Mr. or Ms. Punk, protesting accomplishes nothing." A grin spread across Hyde's face and Lucy looked at him confused. "Oh sure, you may see a chance to prove your manhood or show you're cool," Eric looked to be struck with realization, Lucy leaned in front of Hyde to look at Donna bewildered. "But this is our president, our president darn it, so no shenanigans you hear me?" A light flickered above Kelso's head. "And if that's your kind of attitude you might as well go home now!" Fez smiled and walked out the auditorium.

❁

"Look guys, we got to do something that says we will not pay homage to a corrupt electoral system!" Hyde paced in the basement.

Lucy sat in his regular chair, her legs pulled up criss-cross as she flipped through a magazine.

"I know a bloody coup!" Fez suggested.

"That's good, but we're looking for something great. Something that would make our founding fathers proud!" Hyde insisted.

"In that case, you should streak," Lucy said sarcastically.

"Bingo!" Hyde ran over to where Lucy was, her head snapping up at his comment. "You're a genius!" Hyde said as he placed a kiss on Lucy's cheek.

Lucy raised her eyebrows in shock and confusion as she looked to Donna, who was hiding a smile. "Um—I was kidding," Lucy said loudly, but the boys couldn't hear her over their excited chatter.

"Eric are you in?" Kelso and Hyde looked at her brother.

"Streaking? Don't get me wrong, I am very pro-nudity but I think my dad might kill me and I am very anti-being killed."

"Hey if there wasn't a huge downside to doing something this stupid it wouldn't be worth doing!" Hyde insisted.

"Is that what you tell girls to get them to sleep with you Steven?" Lucy asked smartly.

"Burn!" Kelso yelled as Hyde shoved him off the couch.

"Good point..." Eric contemplated, actually thinking about streaking.

"Oh come on guys, I don't want to see anything nightmarish," Lucy whined.

"Oh I should right some really great slogan like I hate the fuzz on my ass!" Hyde said excitedly.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" Lucy pointed at Hyde as she pleaded with the other boys.

"If you hate the fuzz on your ass why don't you just shave it off?" Fez asked confused.

❁

The day the president was in town everyone was gathered in the driveway.

"Okay, when the president starts his speech, I'll blow my Oscar Meyer whistle and we go!" Hyde instructed.

"Did you write I hate the fuzz on your butt?" Eric asked.

"Yeah, Lucy here's your lipstick back."

Lucy gagged, "Keep it. Damn, that was the best shade on me."

"You got the masks?" Kelso asked.

"Yeah I got three Snoopys and a Nixon," Hyde pulled out the masks.

"Not it!" Kelso, Hyde, and Fez said simultaneously with their fingers on their noses.

"Damn Fez, how'd you know how to do that?" Eric complained.

"My country invented not it," Fez smiled.

❁

Lucy walked through the school hallways to find Jackie.

"Jackie! Oh thank god, I had to get out of that car!" Lucy said relieved as she sat next to her on a bench.

"Are they seriously going to streak?" Jackie asked, scrunching her nose.

Lucy nodded, "Sadly, never has my sarcasm gotten me in this much trouble."

"Well hello," two boys walked up to the girls. Lucy looked up to see two of the popular senior boys in front of them.

"Hi!" Jackie giggled, twirling her hair.

"Can we help you boys?" Lucy asked innocently.

"Well we just saw you sitting over here alone, looking very pretty, and we thought we'd come over here to say hi," one of the boys said.

Just then, the four boys walked in and Lucy's eyes widened and she started to tap Jackie, trying to get her to stop flirting. Hyde saw the two girls and he looked at Lucy confused when he saw who she was talking to.

"Hey!" Kelso yelled. "That's my girlfriend!" he stormed over and Jackie stood up, trying to be him to stop.

Kelso was already ready to fight, Lucy was frozen in embarrassment. Kelso began taking off his trenchcoat, causing Eric, Fez, and Hyde to rush to pull him away.

"You're so lucky I'm naked pal!" Kelso yelled.

❁

Lucy walked into the auditorium and sat in the back, she saw Donna in the front, swaying back and forth with her parents, dressed as the stars in the flag. Lucy whistled and yelled "God bless America!" Donna looked over at her mortified and shook her head.

Pretty soon, the boys all sat down next to her, Lucy looked at Hyde and sighed in relief when she realized they chickened out, "Thank God, that was going to make me need therapy!"

As Hyde was ready to give her a snarky remark in reply, the president was announced and he walked/fell across the stage.

Red was falsely introduced to the crowd, as someone who only blamed himself for getting pushed to part time. As he stood up, ready to give Ford his pre-written question, he began to stutter and choke.

The next thing Lucy knew, she heard "Wee wee, pee pee!" and then her eyes were quickly covered by Hyde. Once the door slammed shut, the hands were removed and Lucy looked at everyone in amazement, "He actually did it!" she whispered.

After that, Red was confident enough to ask his actual question. "Hey, how the hell could you pardon Nixon?" everyone applauded Red.

Lucy sighed in relief, her dad had done it and she didn't see her brother's indecent exposure.