The teens sat in the basement once again. Lucy sat on the couch, her legs extended and propped up on Hyde's lap, who sat in his normal seat. He tried to push them off, and she just put them back off, this continued and soon the two were snickering and whispering with mock annoyance.

"Does it bother anyone else that these women live in Hooterville?" Hyde asked, still trying to push her legs off.

"Technically, Petticoat Junction is down the track from Hooterville," Eric replied.

Lucy leaned forward, to give her twin a look of disgust, "It bothers me that you know these things, I hope you know that." Eric merely shrugged.

"Does it bother anyone else that these women live down the track from Hooterville?" Hyde rephrased.

"It bothers me that they bathe in the town water tank," Donna said with disgust.

"With the dog!" Lucy added.

"It isn't the drinking water, it's the water for the train," Jackie corrected.

"It is still three naked women in town water," Donna said.

"With the dog!" Lucy reiterated.

"I want to be the Hooterville dog," Fez said entranced.

Then footsteps came rushing down the stairs. "Don't mind me, I'm just putting some clothes in," Kitty said cheerily. "Oh! Eric! I thought you could wear this for your birthday! And Lucy that nice blue dress you got for Christmas! They're so nice, you both look so good in them!"

"Aw you're the birthday girl!" Hyde teased, receiving a death glare from Lucy.

Lucy's eyes widened as she turned to look at her mother. "Mom—" the twins started, already knowing what she was up to.

"Why would we want to dress nice on our birthday?" Eric asked.

"It's your birthday?" Kelso asked stupidly.

"No Einstein, it's Easter," Lucy rolled her eyes. "Mom, Mom, do not throw a party for us!" Lucy turned back around and pleaded with her mother.

"Oh look at you Mr. and Ms. Popularity! Like I have time to plan you a party!" Kitty said with her signature nervous laugh. "By the way, your sister Laurie is coming home from college for the weekend. No special reason. She just is." Kitty tried to be inconspicuous, then she ran back up the stairs.

Lucy covered her face with her hands and slouched in her seat, groaning. "Well you're getting a party!" Donna exclaimed, "And best of all, it's a surprise!"

❁

The next morning, the twins stood outside the kitchen door, both afraid to go in.

"If we say we don't want a party, she'll give us a party. If we don't say we don't want a party, she'll give us a party..." Lucy thought aloud.

"We're screwed," Eric said, already admitting defeat.

"You're right, ok let's get this over with," Lucy sighed.

The twins pushed open the kitchen door. "Morning!" Eric greeted.

"Morning!" their dad replied, flipping through the paper.

Eric went to get milk and Lucy went to get bowls. "Uh uh!" Kitty yelled, "I'll get it!" she said innocently, the twins just gave eachother a look. They went to get cereal before their mom cut them off again, barely opening the cabinet to get the cereal box.

"Did we just see about seven bags of potato chips in there?" Eric asked.

"They were on sale," Kitty replied casually as she got the twins' spoons.

"Please don't throw us a party," Lucy begged as she took her seat.

"I'm not throwing a party!" Kitty defended herself.

"Don't give them one," Red said without looking up from his newspaper.

"I'm not!"

"They're too old for surprise parties."

"I'm agreeing with you!" Kitty yelled.

"Then stop yelling."

"I'm not!"

Lucy looked at her brother, silently begging him to sit down and save her from their parents.

"Look I know money is tight, so we don't want a big party," Eric said as he sat down by Lucy.

"I'll decide when money is tight!" Red said harshly. "Now what kind of gifts do you want? Don't worry about the cost, as long as it's reasonable."

"Ok, I would like a cassette player for the car. A cassette. Not an eight track. Ok?" Eric asked.

Lucy shook her head, already knowing he emphasized eight track too much, making it the only thing on their minds. "I'd like some more records please! Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, or The Doors are all fine."

"Ok so a Delco for the Cruiser and some nice records—those bands aren't all hippies or druggies are they?" Red asked.

"Oh no sir, they're not hippies." Lucy left out the druggies.

"It doesn't have to be a Delco, it's just for music," Eric chimed in.

"See there's your first mistake Eric. Parts have to be compatible. You're not burning cheap gas in that car are you?"

Eric looked to Lucy out of the corner of his eye. Twin Code: she wouldn't say that they bought the cheapest stuff at the station. "No sir," Eric said.

❁

The girls leaned against the hood of the Cruiser as the boys played basketball.

"So..." Jackie started.

"What?" Donna asked.

"What are you going to get Eric for his birthday?"

"More importantly, what are you getting me?" Lucy joked.

"I had your gift so long ago. I know you too well. But with Eric I have no clue," Donna sighed.

"But you've know him forever," Lucy scrunched her nose in confusion.

"I know but nothing seems right, I want to get him something special." Donna explained.

Lucy's eyes widened and Jackie must've been thinking the same thing, "He kissed you!"

"Shh" Donna begged.

"Get in the car! Donna, get in the car so we can talk!" Jackie demanded.

The girls jumped into the car and Lucy slid across the backseat to be inbetween the two in the front.

"Ok what happened?" Jackie asked, clearly thrilled at the news of something interesting.

"Jackie I'm not going to talk to you about this! Lucy maybe, but it's her brother so it's weird. That's why I hadn't told you yet," Donna turned to Lucy to explain.

"It's ok, this is hard news for you to break. As your friend I'm trying my best not to gag right now though," Lucy replied disgusted as she watched the boys outside making armpit farts.

"I know this, thank you," Donna nodded symphathetically. "Okay, we got home from the Rudgren concert and we're sitting on the hood of the car and I kissed him."

"French or American?" Jackie asked and Lucy stifled a gag.

"I can't believe I'm talking to you about this." Donna said exasperated as she saw the boys passing by giving Fez a wedgie.

"Okay, I'm going to go take my chances with them. Donna just know I couldn't be happier for you, if anyone had to date my brother I'm glad it's you and not some stuck-up bitch..." Lucy trailed off as they both looked at Jackie.

"What?" Jackie asked oblivious.

Lucy turned back around to Donna, "Donna, he's head over heels for, he has been since you moved next door. It's disgusting honestly. But you guys will be adorable. But I can't hear about tongues down throats so goodbye," Lucy kissed Donna on the cheek as she got out of the car.

❁

Lucy went down the stairs to the basement and opened it to find the three boys standing still.

"Who's the goddess?" Fez asked looking at the other blonde who was dressed only in a sweatshirt.

"The goddess just arrived," Lucy said sassily as she walked in front of the boys and spun on her heel before going to give Laurie a hug. Laurie continued doing laundry, purposefully bending down further than necessary and Lucy jumped up to sit on the freezer besides the dryer as she scoffed at her sister.

Most everyone hated her sister, except Kelso who was infatuated with her. Eric hated Laurie, but Lucy didn't. Sure she was a bitch but when they were younger Laurie stood up for Lucy when boys made fun of her for being flat-chested. Laurie and Lucy had a mutual agreement, don't get in one another's way and no one would get hurt, sassy remarks excluded.

A pair of feet came running down the stairs. "Laurie," Eric said with contempt.

"Eric," Laurie replied coolly.

"Shouldn't you put some clothes on?"

"Why?"

"Aren't you a little cold?"

"No, in fact I'm a little hot," Laurie replied cheekily.

"Oh then why don't you go upstairs!" Eric yelled.

"I'm waiting for my jeans to come out of the dryer and I want you to stay off my case."

"Lucy why don't you do your laundry like your earth mother whore sister?" Hyde teased.

Lucy quickly retorted, "While I know you have your fantasies Steven, I have a long list of people I'd rather have see me in my underwear." Hyde's taunting grin fell and the sisters exchanged a high five.

"Am I on the list?" Fez said in a daze.

"Ok gross stop," Eric begged.

"So I understand you have the wagon now. I want to borrow it tonight, I'm gonna need it," Laurie turned around to face Eric.

"Ok but I need a favor," Eric bargained.

"For you? I don't think so." Laurie scoffed.

"Ok but I need a favor," Lucy hopped down from the freezer.

"For you? Anything dear," Laurie said with a grin and Eric sighed.

"Could you please tell Mom that we're too old for surprise parties?"

"But you two are the babies and Mama loves her babies," Laurie taunted.

"You can borrow the Cruiser for the entire night," Lucy bargained.

"Hey!" Eric tried to interject but Lucy held out her hand to stop him as Laurie and Lucy stared eachother down.

"How could I say no to this face?" Laurie exclaimed as she touched Lucy's cheeks.

Lucy smiled and shrugged, "Well you know, genetics."

"This is why you're my favorite," Laurie said as she glared at Eric.

Laurie took her basket of clothes before going upstairs. Lucy spun to look at Eric and bowed as if finishing a performance, Fez began clapping aggressively.

❁

The Formans sat around the dining room table. "So how's your friend Janice?" Red looked to Laurie.

"Pregnant." Laurie answered casually.

"Oh she was such a nice girl. How does that happen?" Kitty fretted.

Eric decided to be smart, "Well first the egg travels down the Fallopian Tube where it attaches to the wall—"

"Eric for God's sake that's no language for a woman to hear!" Red interrupted.

"Good to know he's paying attention in school though," Lucy noted quietly.

"It's ok Red, I know what a Fallopian Tube is. I think Mom and Lucy do too," Laurie said annoyed.

"Well I just don't like to think of my babies knowing those words," Kitty reached over to pinch Eric's cheek, luckily she couldn't reach Lucy on the other side of Laurie.

"Thanks Mom. Um—Laurie!" Eric got his sister's attention.

"Oh yeah, Eric wanted me to tell you that he thinks he's too old for a party." Laurie stated bluntly.

Lucy sighed and hit her fist against her forehead. They'd still be having a party, there was no avoiding it.

❁

Lucy awoke the next morning to her mother yelling "Surprise!" in her face, making her jump so much she nearly fell out of bed.

She was happy to see that her mother had made her French toast, her favorite. Red nodded, wishing her a happy birthday, not quite sure how to show affection and definitely not sure how to show affection to his now womanly daughter.

Laurie opted to sit on the bed with Lucy, stealing some fruit and catching up on the little that she's missed on Point Place.

"So any boyfriends?" Laurie asked wiggling her eyebrows.

Lucy rolled her eyes, "If you're asking if my door is a revolving one like your's then no."

Laurie shrugged unapologetically, "Any dates?"

"Nope," Lucy replied, popping the p as she got another bite of French toast on her fork.

"Have you even had your first kiss yet?" Laurie asked genuinely interested.

Lucy choked on her orange juice when she laughed, "No! No boy bothered to glance my way before summer. Summer of 16 really helped me out."

"Well some boys looked at you before," Laurie muttered as she stole a strawberry.

"What?"

"Nothing!" Laurie replied cheerily as she hopped up and walked out of the room.

❁

Lucy and Eric wore the clothes that Kitty had suggested. They did look nice, and Lucy liked the dress.

"Look we know what you're doing here," Eric said sadly.

"What are you talking about?" Kelso tried to keep the secret, "We're just hanging out like always except we're dressed nice, but that doesn't mean anything."

Kitty came and crouched down on the steps, calling up all the kids for help except for the twins.

Once everyone was upstairs, the twins shot eachother one last desperate look. Eric darted for the basement door while Lucy climbed the chair to reach the basement window. She had it opened and was trying to shimmy her way out.

"Luce, Dad's outside," Eric said defeatedly.

"Damn."

Eric helped her down and just as she got down, Kitty called them up before running back upstairs yelling, "Shut up, They're coming!"

❁

Once the twins were upstairs, they were greeted with party crowns and cheers of surprise—even though it really wasn't one.

They sat down to open their presents and Eric opened one with an eight track. Lucy couldn't help but laugh, especially once Hyde gave Eric cassette tapes.

Lucy opened up a Rolling Stones record from her parents and was relieved to actually get a gift she wanted. Jackie got gift certificates for mani-pedis; Kelso and Fez got chocolate (Fez had already eaten some of it); Donna had gotten a map, saying she could put a pin on places she wanted to go and places she had been, it was perfect. Donna wanted to give Eric her present but Jackie ushered her to the kitchen.

Pretty soon, Red was ushering Kitty out of the house, despite her protests. Once they were gone, Laurie was ready to leave.

"Don't leave me," Lucy begged.

"Buy us beer and we'll pay double," Eric offered.

"Do you really think beer will make your little party better?" Laurie asked.

"Yes," everyone answered.

Laurie just scoffed before walking to the door. "Oh Lucy!" she called, "Your gift," she smirked.

Lucy opened it, surprised her sister got anything for her but quickly closed the bag when she saw it was lingerie and realized the boys were peering over her shoulder.

Hyde pulled it out of the bag, nodding with an impressed look. Lucy snatched it back quickly. It was a nice pink lace bra and pantie set. Kelso would've fainted but he was trying to flirt with Laurie.

Lucy looked to Laurie mouthing "I hate you."

Laurie mouthed back, "Hate you too," with a wink, blowing her a kiss as she shut the door.

"What's this?" Eric asked looking to another gift.

"Open it," Lucy suggested.

Eric opened it to reveal a cassette player, "You?" he asked.

Lucy just shrugged, "I mean I know we don't usually get gifts for eachother, but that's really a gift for me too so..." Eric quickly hugged his sister before pulling away and clearing his throat, embarrassed that he risked his masculinity.

❁

The five of them sat on the couch, brainstorming what Donna might've gotten for Eric.

"Maybe it's the big gift. The really big gift. You guys know what I mean when I say big gift right?" Kelso repeated stupidly.

"Yeah we got it and we got it," Hyde answered.

"I'm not even from here and I got it," Fez said.

"Anyone with ears got it," Lucy said playing with her crown.

"Ok then!" Kelso said offended, "Hey Hyde what'd you get Lucy?"

Hyde just glared at Kelso.

"You didn't have to get me anything. I didn't ask any of you to," Lucy said, feeling very awkward.

"No, what did you get the pretty birthday queen?" Fez asked as he played with Lucy's hair.

"Eric! Donna's on the porch," Jackie announced.

Kelso started shaking Eric, "He's getting the big gift!"

❁

"This is it he's going for it!" Jackie whispered.

"Uh huh it's his birthday she should kiss him first!" Kelso objected.

"She did last time," the girls said simultaneously.

"What?" all the boys asked confused.

"Nothing! Shut up and watch!" Jackie waved them off.

"Come on Forman go for it!" Hyde whispered.

"Don't be an idiot and just kiss her already," Lucy muttered.

"The doors open we can hear you!" Eric reminded them.

Jackie motioned for them all to be silent and Lucy covered her mouth.

"We can see you!" Eric yelled.

They all dropped to the floor behind the counter.

"Is he kissing her?" Fez asked.

"None of us can see them Fez," Kelso said patiently.

"Eric are you kissing her?" Fez called out.

Lucy just snickered, only feeling slightly sorry for ruining her brother's big night.

❁

Eric and Lucy said goodbye to everyone as they went home. Soon Eric went inside to go to bed. Lucy was just going around the house and cleaning up for her mother.

"You know you didn't have to stay to help clean up Steven," Lucy said.

"I know," he shrugged casually.

They cleaned the house in silence. They both felt awkward after Kelso pointed out Hyde hadn't gotten Lucy a gift, even though she wasn't expecting one—she had assumed the cassette tapes were for both of them.

Finally they had cleaned the house and Lucy and Hyde were standing on the driveway.

"So," Lucy looked down and kicked her feet, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Well, where else would I be?" Hyde joked. "Hope you had a fun surprise party," Hyde stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Lucy rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder. "Yeah right, you know I hate parties! Go home Steven I'll see you later," Lucy laughed she turned away to go back inside.

"Here wait, um, happy birthday." He pulled a small box out of his pocket as she turned back around.

Lucy looked at him curiously before taking it. She opened it slowly to reveal a gorgeous bracelet with an L on it. "Steven you didn't have to!" Lucy started to protest when she saw it.

"I know. I wanted to."

"How'd you even pick this out? You always whine when I take you shopping."

Hyde rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, Donna and Jackie helped me out."

"You're kidding!" Lucy smiled at the image of Hyde being dragged through stores.

"Nope. I think I was in hell for a little while there," he chuckled nervously.

"I bet."

Hyde just chuckled and shuffled his feet, "Well goodnight LSD."

Lucy stepped up on her tip-toes to kiss Hyde's cheek. As she pulled away she saw he was blushing and she whispered "Goodnight Steven," before quickly turning to hide her own reddening cheeks.

Needless to say, it was an eventful birthday for both the Forman twins.