《Poetic Justice : ( Chris Brown Story )》Poetic Justice ₪ XXVIII
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"How you holding up baby?" Daddy asked.
It's been three days since that night at Chris', I would answer honestly by saying I'm more mad at him than I am Chris. He played just as much into that as Chris did, both of them should be setting an example for Mijo on how a men should behave. When I look at my dads face and look into his cuts and swollen cheek I get so damn mad. No reason why that should had happen that night. I was completely blindsided by that, I was only suppose to get my labtop and go home. Soon as that broke out my only concern was getting Mijo out of there.
"Daddy, I really don't want to talk about it. I feel like I need to run a mile, to take the pressure away of how I'm feeling."
"You're my little girl and you know I would do anything to protect you, I was doing what I felt was right. I know you don't want you hear me bash him but he deserved it, I don't want him anywhere near here. He's done, I can't believe he got you pregnant again."
"It takes two daddy."
He sighed. "You right I don't want to talk about this anymore! It's too upsetting. I need to get some fresh air, I'll be back."
I buttoned my lips trying not to cry as I heard Mijo dashing around the corner. "Momma, I want to go outside."
"I don't feel like it, mommy doesn't feel good ."
"The baby doesn't taste good anymore?"
I laughed. "I told you kid, I didn't eat the baby it's growing in my tummy."
Mijo came up and shouted at my stomach. "You stay in there! This is my mommy!"
I picked him up laughing. "And you're my baby."
Suddenly my phone started ringing, it was Chris calling to Face Time. I was going to ignore it but Mijo already knew it was him.
"Daddy, are you okay?"
"Yeah man, I'm fine. You okay?" Chris said in a dapper voice.
"A little."
"What happen?"
"Nothing."
"Don't lie Mijo, what did I tell you about that?"
"I can't tell you cause it's not going to happen."
"What's not going to happen?"
"You coming to get me daddy?"
"You have to ask mommy."
"She's going to say no."
"Ask her."
"Chris, if you want him come get him and hurry up." I said taking the phone from him and hanging it up.
I got Mijo dressed and we sat outside for Chris to come, I didn't know when my dad was going to be coming back. That's the only reason I told him to hurry I don't want anymore blowouts. Chris came and I paid him no attention when I loaded Mijo in the car.
"Be a good boy baby," I said closing the door as I walked back to my house.
"Brielle, we not going to discuss this?"
"Discuss what Chris? You said it all and did it all already, I'm tired. I, am, tired."
"When were you going to tell me?" He said grabbing my hand.
"When I got good and damn ready to," I said snatched my hand away.
"Brielle, I can't keep doing this back and fourth thing. I need my son for more than one day out of the week, I need you to stop this shit and tell me what's going on! Please babe, you can't tell me you don't miss us or feel any type of way about us."
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"You got what you deserve."
He grabbed my hand again, "What did I deserve? To go through pointless bullshit because you want me to kiss your ass?"
I snacthed my hand away, "Bye Chris."
"Brielle!" Chris said grabbing me by the hand again getting down on his knees."I'm tired of this shit, I made a mistake that I been owned up to. I should have told you but I didn't and now we at this point in a relationship were I feel like I'm not going to get you back over something stupid. I can't sleep, I don't want to eat, and I feel so uncomfortable at night without you laying beside me. It drives me crazy when I reach out next to me and don't feel you reaching out to me, your pride is doing a lot of the talking that your heart won't say. Stop fighting what you feel, stop telling me to leave when you know damn well you want me to stay. I've been honest with you from the jump, I'm on my knees begging you not to leave. We go through our shit babe, you know we can fight through this, I don't want to fight without you. I don't want to do shit without you by my side! Don't take my kids away from me, don't have Mijo look back on this day and hate me because I couldn't keep my promises to you. No more secrets, no more lies I promise Brielle, I promise! Don't keep me away from my babies." Chris cried out on his knees wrapping his arms around my waist, resting his head on my stomach as he cried. Seriously like crying how he did at the BET awards. "I already lost you, don't make me lose my kids."
I got teary eyed. "Chris, get up!" I said placing my hands on his shoulders. "Chris get up!"
"I didn't want this to happen," he sobbed.
"You just don't get it do you, after all this time you never said sorry. All you had to do was saw sorry, but instead you put blame on every body else. Don't even try to make up for it now, I don't want your sorry ass excuse."
"Brielle, you know I'm sorry!"
I couldn't help it, I began to cry. "But you never said it, it hurt that you didn't come to me Chris! So what she would have accused you of rape, an easy DNA test could have cleared you from that charge. People who didn't know the story would have believed what they read, but those people shouldn't have mattered to you. I should have been the only one on your mind! And you think I'm stupid but I know you fucked her the same night I fucked you, that's what kills me the most. That's fucking disgusting, you couldn't even be real and tell me. It would have taken a couple of days for me to clear my mind but I would have believed you, but you were so caught up in your own bullshit that you forgot to say sorry."
Of course I was sorry but maybe I should have said it, at least I got the response I been waiting to see.
Brielle continued to cry. "You never said it, whether you know it or not your words mean something to me! You not apologizing made me feel like you didn't care. You messed up whether you really realize that or not, I can't accept what you did to me."
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"What do you want from me?"
She was letting the tears flow. "Honesty, I want you to be a man and tell me the fucking truth!"
"I had no feelings for them, it was nothing. Jasmine isn't pregnant, she lied okay. After the whole Janaé thing, I dropped her the next day like a bad habit. I haven't talked to neither one of them."
She shook her head as she wiped the tears slowly sliding down her cheek. "I don't know Chris, I can't go through this anymore."
"I'm not trying to go through it anymore either, give me a chance, I want to talk about it. Please babe."
I was getting through, she got in the car and we took Mijo to the park. He was really happy that we were 'together'. I played with him for a while, then sat on the bench with Brielle
"Where did it all happen?" She asked in a gloomy voice.
I explained everything that happen between both women, she listened and took everything in. She cried more shielding her face away from Mijo so he wouldn't see, I didn't think she was going to be that hurt by it hearing the exact details to get my point across was too much for her.
"So where do we go from here?" I asked.
"Daddy, did you see me jump down the slide?" Mijo asked with excitement.
"Yeah man, good job be careful though." I said as he ran away to try again.
"We can't just pick up where we left off, it's going to be awhile. In the meantime just do you, don't put on a front to get me back. I want you to be sincere and real."
"What about the baby?"
"You going to deny this one too? During this whole break I been with nobody, I had thoughts but then again I'm not you."
"I wasn't going to say that, whens the appointment? How many months are you?"
"I'll be 3 months tomorrow, so is my appointment. I didn't put much attention into my missed period, I been stressed so much I chucked it up to just that."
"Can I?" I asked reaching for a little bump, she shrugged her shoulders. "I'm going to make this right little one, I already made your mommy sad and your brother sad but I'm going to make it up to them by being there for you 100% of the time. I can't wait for you to get bigger so I can really talk to you, feel your little kicks, and see you jabbing your mommy in the tummy. Don't rush for me though, we got a minute before we see you." I smiled slightly, I looked over a Brielle who was tearing up again I took my hand off her stomach and stopped talking.
"When you finish getting your time in with Mijo can you take us home, please." Brielle said as her tone of voice was lighter.
"Something I said?"
"No, it's me. I just want to go home."
Least I was able to get her in the car, it's getting somewhere I just hope we get there fast. Mijo was happy we went as a family, I doubt he knows the servarity of what's going on in the relationship all he knows is daddy is M.I.A half the time. I stayed over till I was able to get Mijo asleep, I needed to get out of there before her dad came home. I can't believe I'm having another baby, I joked around at the idea with her but each time we had sex I wore a condom. This shit is a patteren I'm telling you!
When I found at we were having Mijo, we were fighting with each other over me 'being' with a girl. Find out we having another kid and were fighting over me being with some girls, if we even get the chance to have another gurantee at this rate it'll be the same shit. Why can't I just wake up to a pregnancy test in the trash can or her actually telling me with excitement like most couples do?
Last night I was thinking too much about what's going to happen next with us I over slept, I tried calling Brielle to see what time was her appointment but she didn't answer. I took a chance and just went to the same Doctor we saw when she was pregnant with Mijo, I walked in a 10:33 AM hoping that she didn't come in yet.
"Excuse me Ms. can you tell me if Brielle Carter came in yet?" I asked the nurse at the front desk as a couple of people in the waiting room whipped out their phones, I saw a couple of young ass girls in their who had no business being in there.
"No sir."
"She hasn't come in or you can't tell me?"
"She hasn't come in yet."
"Can you tell me what time she'll be in?"
"Can't sir, confidintial argument."
"That's bullshit."
"Mr. Brown what's your relation to the young lady?"
"She's my girlfriend."
"Kay, that's nice it's still not going to get me to tell you. You can either pop a squat or leave."
I sighed sitting on the side of the room where nobody sat, an hour went by and she hadn't showed up. Another hour past and I was getting restless, people stared at me waiting for my next move. Another hour past, I was getting ready to go and ride over to her house but I thought if I leave she could very well be on her way here. Another hour past and she finally showed up, thank god too cause I was about to go.
"Where have you been, I been calling you. You didn't tell me what time the appointment was, I been sitting here since 10:30."
"First of all, take the base out your voice. I've been sleep till it was time to go, my not time I got up was to give Mijo breakfast. Then I went back to sleep. I couldn't find my phone at home, you ready now?"
"Been ready."
"Mr. Brown, Ms. Carter! My favorite couple, back for round two. How you been?" Doctor Hill asked prepping the sonogram.
"Same ol' same ol'" I answered politely.
"We toughin' it out right now," Chris said.
"How's the young one?"
"Mijo? That's my baby, he's a handful but we keep him in check." I smiled thinking about him.
"It's still too early find out the sex, what are you rooting for?"
"I'm happy with whatever."
"I want a girl," Chris smiled.
"Keep that in mind when she reaches the teenage years, you'll think back and say to yourself. Damn, I really wanted a girl for this? I can tell already, she's going to run you into the ground."
Chris laughed, "Nah, nothing like that. She'll know better than that."
"Alright, let's see how that baby is doing."
"Look, it's waving!" I smiled brightly.
With all of this going on I didn't really get the chance to enjoy the news that I was pregnant. What I thought was food posinoning turned out to be the baby rejecting the sushi I ate. It's very dangerous to eat raw fish when you're pregnant but in my case I didn't know at the time that I was. Chris being there sitting in the waiting room was a step in the right direction, especially since he sat there for 3 hours. The baby is much healthier than it was the last time I came, after the check up Chris and I went our separate ways.
"You hungry, do you need anything?" He asked.
"No, I'm fine.
"Can we go talk somewhere?"
"I can't, I'm going over a friends house." I said getting to the driver side.
He coughed, "Are you - with this dude?"
I rolled my eyes. No Chris, I'm just doing a favor for his daughter."
He backed off. "Alright, I'm sorry. Can I see you later?"
I sighed. "Maybe, bye!" I said getting in my car.
I just couldn't dip out on Kataleah, so I'm only going over to see her and take her out. I made a promise that I tend to keep, whenever she wanted to some girl time I'll be there for her. Ryan still doesn't know that I'm pregnant I don't have the heart to tell him at the moment. I don't want to stop talking to him but he's not going to want to be around me anymore in a couple of months when he see's me waddling through the door, I know he wants to be with me that's not hard to tell. But things are extremly complicated, I'm glad I didn't have sex with him that night. It wasn't on my mind, but it if happened that shit would have been nasty at the thought of him inside of me while I'm pregnant with someone else's baby.
"What's up baby, why are you in a rush slow down? Kataleah will be out in minute," Ryan said grabbing me close to him when I came in.
"Ryan, stop. We shouldn't right now, I don't want Kataleah to walk out seeing something between us that isn't there."
"Is there a problem, you seem tense?"
"I'll talk about it when I come back."
As a treat I took Kataleah clothes shopping, we got another pedicure again. After spending my time with this girl I realized it is a lot of damn money to raise a girl, all I have to do with Mijo is take him to pick a couple of shirts and a $7.00 haircut. It's okay though she needs this, I'm doing a good thing by taking her out in the absense of her mother.
"Brielle can I spend the night at your house tonight?" She asked.
"Baby I don't know about that, it's not a good time for me plus I'm sure your daddy wouldn't like that."
She pouted her lip. "Pleaseeeeeee, pretty pleaseeeee. Just one night, it won't hurt."
"No, I have something to do tonight. Maybe some other time. Come on.
"You promise?"
"Kataleah after today it might be the last time I see you, but listen if you really still want me to see you then you make sure you beg your daddy to call me. Even if you have to snatch his phone out his hand just to call me yourself, I will come quick fast and in a hurry okay?"
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm emotional right now, I don't want you to think that if I stopped coming around it's because I didn't want to chill with you anymore. I like hanging out with you, it makes me happy to see you happy. But if I don't see you anymore, I don't want you to be sad."
"Will you be sad if you don't see me too?"
"I'll be very sad."
Before I took her home I took her to the toy store and bought her a little doll, my heart was pounding when I pulled into her driveway. Kataleah gave me a hug and said thank you for today then she went in her room, now I have to face Ryan.
"How was your day?" Ryan asked as he kissed my cheek
I leaned my head to the side so he could stop. "Ryan stop, I don't think I can come around anymore."
"Why did I do something? Kataleah say something to you?"
"No it's not you and it's not her, I love her and I really like you."
"But, your gettiing back with him." Ryan answered placing his arm around me.
"No, no it's nothing like that. I'm just a little pregnant, that's all."
He smirked, "A little pregnant?"
"I don't want to complicate things between us, so it's just best I do my own thing. But if it's okay with you I would still like to take Kataleah out whenever she wants some time outside the house."
"I guess it's for the best that you work things out for yourself."
"Ryan I swear if it was 3 years ago and we crossed paths with each other than I would definitely take a chance on us. It's the right person, wrong time.
"Just to let you know in case your future plans to don't work, this baby isn't going to stop how I feel about you. I don't mind you being pregnant. If he's not there for you then you know who to call. At the drop of a dime I'll be there for you."
I looked him in his eyes, "That's really sweet of you."
He lifted up my chin and kissed me, "Don't forget what you have waiting over here."
Chris
"Brielle, you alright?" I asked as I opened up the front door.
She stormed in the door with tears swelling in her eyes, the area around her eyes were red as if she's been crying for hours.
"I rode all the way over here thinking to myself that everything is over, it's all over! He's lied to you, it feels like he cheated on you, he'll just do the same shit to you again. But as I was looking for my Mary J Blige CD to get me in the mood, to come over here and curse you the fuck out for making me feel this way. After I poured my heart out to you in New York! Best Yo came on my playlist, I thought back to myself when you sang that to me on my birthday and what happen between when we got back to the hotel. That was he first time I realized I had something for you, but I was afarid to show it because I thought we could be no more than friends. You took something from me and I'm not talking about my virginity, you took my body, mind, and soul and played with it! You ask me to forgive you but my pride isn't letting me, not even my heart wants to say I forgive you . . . And I - I - I don't even know why the fuck I came over here, I'm gone."
I grabbed her hand. "No no no, don't go let it out!"
"I love you so fucking much that it hurts to the core. I turned away the only guy whose on a different level than you, just to work shit out with you. I'm stressing so bad that I might not even have this baby. You are stressing me out and I can't take it!"
I held her tight in my arms to the point where if she wanted to push me off she couldn't "Don't say that, we having this baby. I don't want to stress you out this, baby is going to be fine. This baby is going to come and we're both going to be alright, I'm sorry I hurt you like this. I'm sorry, I don't ever want to hurt you or Mijo again."
"Chris let me go," she shouted but I wasn't letting her go for shit.
"It's going to get better, I promise."
"I just want to be left alone, let me go!" She tried to push, but I still wasn't letting go.
"Everything is going to be good!"
"No, no. I can't do this, I don't want to be lied to."
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