Chris

It's been a minute since Brielle and I last spoke. I try almost everyday to get her talk to me. But the only reason why she's even giving me the time of day now, is because she's only coming over to get her laptop. I hid it so she would have to come in the house and find it giving me the chance to talk to her and see how sorry I am. While I anxiously waited for her I decided to open her laptop up to see what she had in it. Peeking through her flies I see a couple of pictures of Mijo when he was a newborn. There was actually a picture of me getting teary eyed holding him. Made me realize how badly I fucked up, one mistake cost me everything! A couple lies took my all. If I would've come to her maybe we wouldn't have gotten this far with this shit. I damn sure wouldn't have slept with Jasmine if that was the case if I would have thought through the situation.

Looking around at everything else, I came across this file that read Poetic Justice: All Left Unsaid. It had a pass code on it, this goes against everything I said before. If we loved and trusted each other though, why would she have a lock on her shit? I tried everything I could think of to open the file, my name, her birthday, my birthday, her dad's name. After the 15th attempt I tried Mijo's name and gain entrance, it was a complete file of poems and videos she made. I went from sad to mad in 3 seconds from reading this free verse poem titled. "If" .

If I told you how much I needed you, would you be there for me ?

If I told you how much I cried for you, would you catch the tears before they fall ?

If I told I was leaving, would you make me stay ?

If I told you how bad I want you, would you love me more ?

If you heard his cries and seen the tears fall from his eyes, would you take care of your seed that grew from me ?

I didn't bother to read anymore because I noticed the pattern of her bashing me as a father, a lover, and a man. If you had fucking problems with the shit I was doing your ass should have told me, I was always there for Mijo and her through whatever! I tried to let it go and die down in the past but I clicked on this video titled "Trust no One" that fuel me back up again.

I Don't Like To Be Held In Captivity, Cause If Speaking To Your Love Which I No Longer Want the Activity ?

To Your Love .

Cause While I Rasp, I Dine to Take The Time To Say What's On my Mind,

To Only Stuff That Should be Left Unsaid .

Cause As I Try to Strive But What No Longer Could Hide, This Pain Inside Of What's Got me So Weak.

Cause As I Look At The Past, Of What No Longer Would Last. From the Time That Went by So Fast, Of What's Left is In a Cast.

It Shattered So Deep Till I No Longer Could Sleep,

It Filled To My Stomach Till I No Longer Can Eat.

Cause It's Filled With Words so Cheap!

From The Wine and Dine, to The Times I Thought That You Was Mine .

But I Think It's Time I Realize I Was Blind .

You Hit me at The Right Spot, Cause It Feel Like I Got Jumped Better Yet Even Shot .

To The Streets So Hot, You Left Me There To Rot .

I Will Never Forgive You !

As I Sit Here and I Cry, Cause I'm Not Going to Even Ask Why,

That When I Said I Would Die For Your Love I Wasn't Gonna Lie .

I Don't Show It Because I Know If I Do,

What's Left of Me, Was What I Left For You .

And While Everyone Talks About, But How Does She Pass ?

It Was Cause She Feel In Love With a Bitch Like You So Fast ?

To What No Longer, Gonna Last .

- (Nyah Jewel)

When have I ever given her the doubt of my love? Are you fucking kidding me for real, that's how she's doing me? I don't believe this shit, I was always there for her whenever she needed me. Instead of bringing the issues to my face you try to fucking hide it from me? So damn quick to jump on my ass about anything else, but you can't say shit when it comes to how you really feel? As I vented in my mind I seen car lights flashing through the bedroom window, I stormed downstairs with the computer in my hand.

"Can I have my computer please?" She ask nonchalantly once I opened the door.

"You ain't getting shit back! Fuck is this shit about me not being a good father?"

"You went through my things?"

"You had the fucking audacity, to sit in the damn house making videos and shit about me? But your ass couldn't open up your fucking mouth to me about it, you serious?"

"Chris, give me my computer!" She shouted trying to reach.

"Take this shit and get the fuck out my face!" I shouted but instead of giving it her, I threw it on the concrete as we both watched it smash into pieces.

"You fucking dickhead, you're so fucking stupid I fucking hate you! I can't stand you, your ass make me sick!" Brielle shouted while punching me.

All of a sudden I seen her dad getting out the passenger side door. "What's the problem Brielle?"

"This ain't got nothing to do with you man." I said.

"That's my daughter you dumbass. It has everything to do with me! What did he do to you Brielle!" Her dad asserted.

"Daddy, go back in the car!" Brielle cried.

I took off my shirt and began walking towards him. "Sir, I think you need to do what she says."

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Mijo's little voice shouted from the car but I paid him no mind.

"Who the fuck you think you talking, nigga I'll bust your ass!" Her father became aggressive.

Brielle stepped in between us right as him and I got into each others face. One thing a woman should never do when two grown ass men are about to fight. "Chris stop, just go back in the house!"

"Fuck out the way Brielle!" I said pushing her out the way, but she ended up falling to the ground.

"What type of man puts his hands on his pregnant ex - girlfriend?" He shouted getting hyped. That one word snapped me out of everything, "Pregnant?"

Her father caught me off guard with that one, it gave him an open opportunity to sucker punch me. Before I knew it we were full on fighting, something I know his ass has been waiting to do for the longest.

Brielle

Both of them began fighting like savage beast, I went over to my broken laptop on the driveway to pull out the memory card, the laptop itself meant nothing to me. Most of everything I saved on a backup. Mijo broke my heart as I heard him in the car shouting for his Papi to get off of Chris. Being as though I was pregnant, it was nothing much I could do at the moment. As they fought each other I went into the car to console Mijo, but it was hard to get him to stop crying since I was crying as well.

"Mijo don't cry it's okay baby, Papi and daddy are just playing." I sniffled.

"Make it stop momma?" He cried out.

"It's okay Mijo."

"I want to go home!" He continued cry.

"I do to baby!"

It felt like it was so much I could've done to stop the situation, but my mind wasn't processing anything good enough for me to do. I got out the car again to see if I could get them off each other.

"Stop it, both you! Please just stop it, think about your damn son in the car right now watching shit!"

Seemed to work a little bit, both of them got one last hit in on each other than split apart. Chris face was all scuffed up and blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. My father's face was completely red I'm sure by the morning it'll be black and blue.

"Makes you proud putting your hands on a woman like that? does it make you proud your son watched you do it too?" My father continued in a taunting manner.

"Daddy please just shut the fuck up! It's over with, please just get in the car."

"Brielle!" Chris tried for my attention.

"You don't need to say shit to her." My dad interjected.

"Mind your fucking business man!" Chris shouted in aggravation. "Brielle, we need to talk about this."

"We don't need to discuss shit, you brought this upon yourself . . . Remember that!" I cried walking away with my dad to the car.

Mijo settled down once we left, all of us were silent not even listening to music to void strong tension between us.

"Brielle baby, I'm sorry for all that happened tonight. Understand I had to do it. He hurt you and put his hands on you, you know I don't play that type of shit when it comes to you!"

"Say no more daddy, you don't have to apologize for anything. I just don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Did you at least get what you needed?"

I wiped the tear falling from my eye, "Yes daddy."

"You okay?"

"I'm cool."

When we got into the house my mother ran to my father, feeling all around his face asking us what happen. I blew right past them taking Mijo up stairs to give him a bath. Sitting on the sink counter watching him bathe himself I hung my head down low. Trying to hide the pain in my face from Mijo. Picking him up out the bath tub, I spread Johnson & Johnson lotion on him then but on his pajamas. I turned on the t.v in my room so he could watch his shows as I got my thoughts together, I couldn't help crying then.

"Mommy, is daddy okay?"

"Yeah Mijo, daddy is fine."

Mijo crowded in my face watching as my eyes filled up, "Are you okay momma?"

"No baby, mommy is sad."

"Did daddy make you sad?"

I wasn't going to tell him the truth, my business is my business. No telling if I did tell him the story if he would remember or not, I'm not trying to have him resent his father.

"No Mijo mommy did this to herself," I said wiping the tears from my face trying to pull myself together.

"Am I going to see my daddy again?"

"Of course, you'll see him soon baby. But we're going to stay at Papi's house for a while."

"I really miss him," he said wiping his eyes.

Trying to avoid him crying about it I changed the conversation. "Baby I have something to tell you, mommy is going to have another baby." I smiled lightly.

"A baby? Like me?"

I ran my fingers through his curls "Just like you kiddo, so you have to be careful with me."

"Where is the baby?"

"Right here, in my belly!" I said rubbing my stomach.

"Why you eated the baby mommy?" Mijo questioned confused.

I laughed "I didn't eat the baby, that's where it grows. Soon you're going to have a big responsibility."

"I don't want to have a respond-a-bility." Hesaid having trouble pronouncing the last word. "I don't want another baby, I'm the baby." Mijo crawled into my lap hugging me.

I pulled him off looking him in the eye. "Listen Mijo, not that long from now someone is going to look up to you. You going to have to protect your brother or sister at all times from acting like how I am right now. They going to trust you with all they have don't ever let them down. You'll always have your brother or sister by your side, beat anybody up that try and break that. You the man now, you hear me?"

"But momma -."

"No buts, do you understand?"

"Yes."

"That's my baby." I smiled giving him a kiss. "It's time for you to go to sleep boy."

"Awe momma can we just watch a couple more of Tom & Jerry?"

"One more episode."

But I let him watch everything that came on until he fell asleep, I pulled the blanket up to his shoulder as I kissed him on the cheek. I couldn't sleep because of the way I was feeling and I didn't have my computer to express myself so I took to a pen and paper.

Murderer, How could murder us ?

The blood gushes, as it bleeds from my pen .

I gave you everything, all that I had to lend

But then you spit on us .

Biggest fears, have come true .

Thought I would never leave you

But you played me like a fool .

Murderer, how could you murder us ?

Mistook your affection, as real love,

I was infected, I needed your drug.

But you made sick,

Threw Up, Shook up

Wasted away all the tears I spent .

Murderer, how could you murder us ?

I look at our son, see nothing but you

Cries for your love, tell'em he'll be back boo

But can't understand, why you can't be found

What should I tell'em ? Daddy was fucking around?

No, he still won't understand. Why daddy wasn't a real man

Took his mommy for granted, sorry you've been disconnected

Back at the start, where my heart was ejected

Always should known, to expect the unexpected .

Murderer, How could you murder us ?

Turning off the t.v I got under the covers, next to my baby. I rested comfortably, soon as I was about to come to peace my phone lighted up. I had a feeling Chris would try and apologize to me so I put it on silent that way I wouldn't hear it ring. Looking down at the screen I had 19 missed calls, 8 voicemails, and 1 text message . I didn't feel like going through every single one so I read the text message that was more like a damn novel.

Chris - Last thing you want read is something from me, I completely understand that. If I were you I wouldn't want to either . But I just want to tell you, I didn't and I would never put my hands on you like that! I did it because you stepped in between the way of your pops and I didn't want you to accidentally get hit . Tonight was completely blown out of proportion and it was all my fault, if I could take everything back I would but I can't . I overreacted when I seen how you were talking about me, it pissed me how you couldn't just tell me. Like I couldn't you about the other girl and Jasmine .

I swear the first one was a mistake I was drunk, damn near sleep then she sprung that on me. I left before it even got far. But with Jasmine she blacked mailed me and I know everything of what I'm saying is seems to be an excuse. But I did what I did to protect you . I would never hurt you purposely, I really love you and it didn't take this big lost for me to realize that. I always knew from the jump that I loved you and I always will. It hurt me bad when I seen you crying, you know I don't like to be that type person . I want to make you laugh and smile again, it's killing me not having you here with me. Despite that dumb shit that I said about our son I miss Mijo and you.

I was a dick for that, I don't know why it came out my mouth . I want it all back, I'll do anything to get us back to where we were before I fucked it all up . I was acting like a child, I ran away the one person that love more than I love my damn self and that's real . I know you don't want shit to do with me right now, but I was hoping we could sit down and talk to each soon and if not then can I at least spend some time with Mijo. He shouldn't have to be a victim in this . I love you Brielle, just please call me I just want hear your voice so I know we can get somewhere with this . 3:08 AM

__

"Trust No One" is by Nyah Jewel, I did not write that one.

My favorite chapter btw !!!