based off 11.22

we happy few

~*~

Juno sat at the map table as she was waiting for Sam and Dean to get back with the food. It was a pretty tense situation seeing as the three people in the room were God, Lucifer, and Juno. God, Satan, and a banshee. Super fun.

"So where were you?" Lucifer asked looking through a book.

"That's a... long story. How do you feel? I healed you," Chuck said nodding Lucifer up and down.

"Mm. Yeah. Didn't ask you to," Lucifer said sitting down on the step.

"Son, be reasonable," Chuck begged him.

"One cosmic Band-Aid on my knee and what, you think we're, we're even now?" Lucifer asked looking up at Chuck. "Is it time for us to go play catch in the yard?" The door to the bunker opened, Juno looking up in hope. "Screw you."

"Guys?" Dean called. Juno stood, shaking her head at them.

"Hey, how's it goin' in here?" Sam asked. The two finally looked at Juno who was air slitting her throat and shaking her head.

"Listen, I know I've been gone for awhile," Chuck said as Sam and Dean set the bags they had down on the table. "I've missed a few... million... birthdays—"

"Yeah, and the second your apes send a distress flare, boom. Daddy's home," Lucifer said sarcastically.

"That's not what happened," Chuck told him.

"Hey, these apes saved your ass," Dean spat at Lucifer. He snapped his finger, Sam and Dean flinching slightly. Juno only rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair.

"He can't hurt you," Chuck said looking at Sam and Dean.

"Oh, so you're controlling me now!" Lucifer yelled at Chuck.

"It's just a safeguard," Chuck shrugged. Lucifer's eyes widened in anger at Chuck, Juno standing up.

"Hey guys? Uh, Chuck? Lucifer... uh, Sam, Dean... Think we can try and focus here? Y'know, end of the world, common enemy, all that?" Juno asked clapping her hands together.

"Enemy of my enemy is my friend," Lucifer said shutting his book, then standing right in front of Chuck. "Team Amara. Go Amara."

"You don't mean that," Chuck said shaking his head.

"You're really not gonna say it," Lucifer said quietly.

"He's not gonna say what?" Sam asked slowly.

"Screw you," Lucifer spat at Chuck. He then looked at Sam and Dean. "Screw all of you." Lucifer turns, leaving the room and goes towards the bunks. Chuck began walking away, then turned to Sam, Dean, and Juno.

"Kids, huh?"

*****

Loud rock music played from Juno's room, yet it wasn't Juno playing the music. Lucifer had taken camp in her room, and now Sam, Dean, and Juno were trying to get him to come out. He wouldn't. Sam banged on the door once again.

"Lucifer! Y'know, sometime you're gonna have to come out and ... talk to... God," Sam yelled over the music.

"It's like the worst episode of Full House ever," Dean groaned. The music stopped, all of them standing up straight.

"If Dad has something to say to me, I'll hear it from him! Until then, I'll be in my room!" Lucifer shouted.

"It—" Juno was cut off by the music getting louder.

"It's not your room," Dean stated.

"It's my room," Juno said letting her arms fall. She hit the door a few more times, nothing happening.

"Whatever," Dean grumbled. They turned, walking away from the room.

*****

"Talk to him," Sam egged on Chuck. He was currently making pancakes while wearing a kitchen apron that no one in the bunker knew existed.

"Won't do any good," Chuck told them.

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"Because I can't give him what he wants," Chuck said with a sigh.

"And what's that?" Juno asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"What everyone wants. My sister, my children, you humans – an apology. A big, wet 'I'm sorry,'" Chuck said turning to the three.

"Well, so give it to him. It's not like he's askin' for a weapon, or for Hell, or for Heaven. He's askin' for words," Dean said holding his arms out.

"I can't say I'm sorry if I'm not," Chuck said. He placed pancakes in front of each other them, no one touching them. "What he wants an apology for, I did it for humanity. For the world. Look, Lucifer wants what everybody wants: Amara gone. 'kay? Let's just give him a little time to cool off." He sipped from a 'World's Greatest Dad' mug, Juno rolling her eyes.

"Okay, well, I don't know if you've noticed, but a little time is not something that we have. The end is frickin' nigh," Dean snapped at Chuck. He nodded slowly, looking at the counter.

*****

Juno knocked on her door as Chuck had agreed to talk with Lucifer. There was no response, Juno shaking her head at Dean.

"Lucifer, God's agreed for a sit down! You can get your TedTalk now!" Juno shouted.

"Not until I know he's telling the truth!" Lucifer yelled back.

"He's not coming out, you gotta say it," Dean told her.

"I really don't want to," Juno said looking at him. He motioned to the door, Juno frowning at it. "Lucifer, if you come have a talk with your dad I'll make out with you for ten seconds!" The door immediately opened, Lucifer peering his head out.

"You're being serious," he stated looking at her.

"About the God part," she said with a fake smile.

"I'm gonna do it anyways," Lucifer said. Juno went to protest, but Lucifer stepped out and pinned her against the wall. He immediately began kissing her roughly, Juno not knowing what to do. She had no other choice but to kiss him back. Dean's mouth was hung open in awe as he looked around to see if anyone else was seeing this. Ten dreadful second later, Lucifer stepped back with a smile. "Alright, let's go." He clapped his hands together, walking down the hall towards the library. Juno looked at Dean who had a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Don't tell Sam," she said shaking her head.

"Oh, I'm telling Sam," he stated walking past her.

"No, my dignity," Juno protested following him. They walked into the library to see Lucifer sitting across from Chuck now, straightening out his coat.

"One of you is gonna have to, uh, go first. You know what? Lucifer, you agreed to have a sit down if God would show, so –" Sam said motioning to Chuck.

"And Chuck, you did say you'd talk," Dean said looking at Chuck.

"Him first. I'm the one who's owed an explanation," Lucifer said folding his hands together. Chuck didn't say anything, Juno rolling her eyes.

"Come on, Shurley. I just gave up my dignity for this," Juno complained.

"Okay, let's try 'I feel' statements," Dean said, then looked at Sam. "Doctor Phil." Sam shrugs as Dean was smiling proudly. Juno began backing up, Sam and Dean backin up with her. They sat on the steps to the telescope, letting Chuck and Lucifer talk it out.

"I am... sorry that you feel that I betrayed you. That I acted without cause. I'm sorry that you can't see you gave me no choice," Chuck said, then looked at the three on the steps. They were each shaking their heads no. "I'm good."

"You heard that, right?" Lucifer asked looking at the three.

"We all know that you are God, but maybe could you be a little less 'Lordly'?" Sam asked slowly.

"But I am – I am the Lord," Chuck said confused.

"Wow. There he goes," Lucifer said clapping his hands together.

"I did what I had to do! To create the world, I had to lock Amara away. And when the Mark corrupted you, and I saw you posed a threat to humankind, I did the same with you," Chuck explained to Lucifer.

"No, you betrayed me. You gave me the Mark to lock her away, and when it changed me – when it did what the Mark inevitably does – you threw me away," Lucifer argued angrily.

"No, son. The Mark -- You always cast a jaundiced glance at humans. The Mark didn't change you. It just made you more of what you already were," Chuck spat at Lucifer.

"What I was, was your son. Your child," Lucifer said leaning forward.

"Why should I put you first above all others?" Chuck asked in disbelief.

"You have any idea what it's like to argue with your father when your father is God?" Lucifer asked looking at Sam and Dean, then back to Chuck. "Everything is a tautology with you. Everything is, 'Because I told you so.' Everything's, 'It had to be done.'"

"Pretty sure that's all fathers," Dean said. Sam cleared his throat, Dean acknowledging him.

"Okay, fine," Lucifer said sitting up straight. "Big picture, as God. You did what you had to do. But little picture? You sucked at being a dad."

"Okay, maybe I didn't handle everything perfectly. But tell me: could I have kept humankind safe with you on the board?" Chuck asked, Lucifer's eyes widening in rage. "I know about your little bid to replace me with the angels. Okay, 'New God,' what would you have done about you?"

"That is not the point," Lucifer snapped.

"I-I can't believe I'm actually about to say this, but... um. Lucifer is right," Juno said as she rubbed her palms together. Chuck turned to look at her in disbelief. "All he wants is an apology, and you're too concerned about being right to give him one. But apologies aren't always about being right. Sometimes they're just about apologizing."

"Yeah, and the great thing about apologies is you don't even have to mean 'em. Y'know, I lie and tell Sam I'm sorry all the time," Dean said nonchalantly. Sam looked at Dean. "Sorry." Dean brightened at his words. "See? That's. Heh."

"Enough from the peanut gallery," Chuck said waving his head. Sam and Dean disappeared, Juno looking at where they once were. She then disappeared, landing on the balcony next to Sam. "What? What would you have done?" The three leaned forward, listening in.

"It doesn't matter. You are my father and you forsook me," Lucifer said looking up at Chuck.

"I did. I was supposed to love all creation equally. I wasn't supposed to have favorites. But you... You were mine," Chuck said as tears were brimming his eyes. "I gave you the Mark because I loved you the most, because I thought you were strong enough to bear it. And when I saw that I was wrong... When I watched my choice devour my most cherished son, I hated myself, and so I punished you. And I am so sorry." The two stood, beginning to walk out of the room.

"Hey," Sam said standing up.

"So... are we good?" Dean asked. Lucifer and Chuck nodded at each other, then up at the three. "Okay! Great."

"So what now?" Juno asked looking around at the people.

"We trap Amara. Put her back in the box," Chuck stated.

"Wait, what?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Well, you were right. She needs to be destroyed. But I won't kill her," Chuck told them.

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"Amara's been caged for billions of years, but y'know, she was always there. She had to be there. Y'know, yin and yang. Dark and light," Chuck explained.

"English, Chuck," Dean said leaning forward. Chuck sighed, waving his hand to get the three people downstairs.

"There's a harmony, a balance, in the universe. Light needs dark. Dark needs light. If you blow one of them up, then, I mean—"

"It wouldn't be a good thing," Lucifer finished for Chuck.

"It'd be really not a good thing. Like 'end of reality' not good," Chuck told them.

"Okay, so we gift-wrap Amara. I mean, we got the team back together, so..." Sam said trailing off.

"Not quite. We're still a few members short of the original line-up," Chuck said with a slight nod.

"Yeah, first time it took the combined strength of me and my brothers to weaken Amara before Daddy-O finished her off," Lucifer said patting Chuck's shoulder.

"Even then it was close. Now with just the two of us, we'll lose," Chuck said crossing his arms.

"Okay, so what? We need more, uh, group therapy between you and the archangels if we wanna have a shot?" Dean asked crossing his arms.

"Dean, I don't know if you've noticed but Raphael and Gabriel are dead, and, well, we know Michael's condition," Juno said looking at him.

"Well, bring em back," Dean said looking at Chuck.

"No, Juno's right. Michael's in no condition to fight, and it's outside of my power to bring Gabriel and Raphael back," Chuck said nodding at Juno.

"But you restored Castiel," Sam added on.

"Archangels are different. They're the stuff of primordial creation. Rebuilding them, that's – It's time we don't have," Chuck said with a sigh.

"So what do you need to win?" Sam asked.

"Whaddaya got?" Chuck asked. "So what do we bring to the table to make up for archangel power?"

"We could try and find more Hands of God," Sam suggested with a shrug. Chuck held up his hands as he was beginning to walk past the hunters.

"A little redundant," he stated.

"What about Crowley? Big demon power, former king of Hell. He was a player in his day," Dean suggested.

"We have the angels," Lucifer chimed in.

"Rowena. I mean, she's a snake, but she's a powerful witch," Juno said crossing her arms. "And she's got the Book of the Damned."

"Getting these groups to enlist and then work together, it's not gonna be easy," Sam explained to the lot.

"Couldn't you just compel them?" Dean asked looking at Chuck.

"I invented free will for a reason," Chuck informed them with a shrug.

"So we're tying our hands on principle?" Dean asked raising an eyebrow.

"No, you can't make an effective soldier by force. They have to choose this fight," Chuck said thinking about it.

"But they're gonna want to know they're backing a winner," Juno said motioning to Chuck.

"So..." Lucifer said motioning to Chuck.

"We assemble our band of brothers, hit Amara with everything we've got. Then when she's weak – " Sam said gesturing to Chuck.

"I finish her off," Chuck finished.

"So, a page from the original playbook. This time with witches and demons subbing for archangels," Juno said with a slight shrug.

"Exactly," Lucifer agreed.

"I still don't like it," Dean stated. Everyone turned and looked at him as if he was crazy. "But – why trap her when you can kill her, you know? I-I mean, you got to admit, there's a lot less room for error if you shoot to kill."

"I explained why," Chuck told him.

"Right, but why keep her in play? So she can escape and we can go through this all over again?" Dean asked turning to them.

"Dean, what is this about?" Sam asked furrowing his eyebrows.

"I – Nothing. Am I the only one thinking rational here?" Dean asked like they were insane.

"It's about her. Sam, it's about his girlfriend," Lucifer said looking at Sam.

"Okay. Shut up," Dean said to Lucifer.

"I mean, think about it. Dean Winchester meets the biggest evil in the universe, and he takes a pass? Come on," Lucifer said looking at Sam.

"Twice," Juno muttered. Lucifer snapped, pointing at Juno.

"I knew I would grow to like you," he said with a wide smile. "Now he wants Daddy to do what he couldn't."

"Is he right? " Sam asked looking up at Dean.

"Oh, I'm not getting into it with him. Not gonna happen," Dean said shaking his head.

"Hey, Dean. Come on, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. We opened a vein for you two," Lucifer said with a slight frown.

"I tried to kill her," Dean told them, then looked down. "And it didn't work."

"Maybe it didn't work because you didn't want it to work," Chuck said looking over at Dean. "Maybe you didn't want to kill her."

"You want God to kill Amara because you don't want Amara to be killed?" Sam asked slowly.

"Yeah, maybe there's a part of me that just can't hurt her," Dean said leaning against the table. "But if she's already dead—"

"Then she's already dead. Right," Sam said with a slight nod. Juno's eyes widened at his confession as she leaned back in her chair.

"Well, that got weird," Lucifer stated as he leaned back as well.

"Dean... We always sweat this stuff, these choices. But, for once, we have God on our side. I mean, for once, we can actually just do things his way," Sam told him. Dean turned, looking at Chuck. He held his arms out, motioning for them to go.

*****

"A jaw of pig?" Rowena asked looking at the other witch, Clea.

"Check," Juno stated. They both turned to look at her as she was spinning the jaw between her fingers.

"What are you doing here, Banshee? Give it!" Rowena asked holding a hand out.

"Not till we've talked," Juno said pulling her arm back.

"You walked right into a powerful coven—"

"Ah, takes three for a coven," Clea interrupted.

"– witches' den without a weapon. I'll turn you into one of those flying creatures. An actual banshee," Rowena threatened her.

"You can't," Juno said with a small smile.

"Read her aura. She under some potent protection. Never seen that before," Clea said with a shrug. "Hear the girl out."

"Well?" Rowena asked with a sigh.

"We need you," Juno told her with a nod. "We're gonna play the God card." Rowena took a beat, then laughed at Juno.

"God's back. You and those boys tricked me before, Juno. Why would I believe a word you say?" Rowena asked her.

"It would explain that aura of protection. Not no regular magic," Clea said still looking Juno up and down.

"Clea, dear, is this how it's going to be with us in Crete?" Rowena asked turning to Clea. The other witch rolled her eyes, Rowena turning back to Juno. "Even if God's back, why would I care? Hello, pagan here. I serve magic, not God." She took the jawbone from Juno, the girl rolling her eyes. "Sorry. Not interested."

"I am," Clea piped up. Rowena glared at her, Clea shrugging. "What? I can't serve both?"

"No," Rowena said looking at Clea.

"Ro, you brought me a plan to escape. This here's an opportunity to fight and win," Clea said pointing at Juno.

"She's right," Juno said nodding at Clea.

"Nobody's talking to you," Rowena said glaring at Juno.

"I can enlist others. Sister witches," Clea said sitting down.

"You're mad. We don't stand a chance against Amara!" Rowena complained.

"Rowena, honey?" Clea questioned. She turned her tarot card to Rowena, indicating Sun. "There is a chance."

"Simple bordering on insane," Rowena said shaking her head.

"Still in?" Juno asked with a small smirk.

*****