you're pulling me even faster

as we go spinning out of c o n t r o l . . .

〰️〰️〰️

By the time I downed my fourth Piña Colada, I knew it was only a preview of how I'd be at my sister's actual wedding. I was drunk enough not to have a care in the world, but I was nowhere near whatever dimension Gus was in last night. The all-natural cocktails were too inviting for me to turn them down. Unlike the bar, they were free since my parents already paid to have the machine for the night. That in itself was enough for me to drink as many as I could.

Them being free from a dispensary machine meant they weren't quite as strong as if you were to have one made by an actual person. I knew it was the better choice for me because whether I liked it or not, I still had an image to uphold until the wedding. I couldn't lose all control; just some.

We had an hour until the party started by the time we were done setting up the room, perfecting it to Sutton's standards and making sure nothing was out of place. Everyone ended up back at my parents house to get ready since they only lived ten minutes from the venue. It felt like a step back into my youth with a million people in the house and not enough mirrors.

I didn't bother with a shower, twisted my hair into a tousled low bun, and slapped on some makeup and the dress I'd bought specifically for this party. God forbid if I wore anything I already owned, my sister would've ripped it to shreds.

Somehow we made it to the venue before any guests arrived. Barely.

The first two hours went by smoothly. The food had been served – a divine mix of Koa's native dishes and some of Sutton's lifelong favorites – and the catering did a hell of a job with it. I'd spent too much time in the photo booth that Sutton and Koa rented, snapping picture after picture with my brothers, with Gus, with Collin, and a whole bunch of randoms. Whatever DJ that my sister hired was blasting all kinds of crowd-pleasers and standard party classics that kept everyone on their feet.

I'd spun around with my one and only niece on the dance floor so many times I thought my Piña Coladas would make a reappearance. She tended to have a way of making me feel so young and yet so old at the same time.

The song changed to a slower throwback and our current twirl came to an end. Madelyn paused to look up at me as our hands were still latched together, my grip a little tighter than hers to ensure I wouldn't end up flinging her across the room.

"Can you find my dad? I wanna dance with him," she asked me, brushing her curls out of her flushed face.

"Of course, babe," I smiled.

I perused the ballroom for my eldest brother, squinting my eyes and thinking that would either help me see better or become less dizzy. I spotted him, of course, by the cocktail machine.

With a roll of my eyes, I flailed my arm around maniacally hoping to catch his attention. He didn't notice me.

"Duncan!" I screeched his name over the music, cupping my hands around my mouth to carry the sound.

He jerked his head in my direction, eyebrows raised in wonder that accentuated the lines on his forehead. When I waved him over, he excused himself from a group of our cousins he was talking to and was standing in front of me in a second.

"What's up?" He questioned, his eyes regarding us in the same way my dad always would.

Both Duncan and Sutton resembled our father a lot, just respectively younger and in female form. Asher and I looked more like our mother, with a wider nose, softer expressions, and rounded features that contrasted our older siblings straighter noses, angled profiles, and deep-set gazes. Despite our differing facial structures and minor details, we were all definitely Barclay kids; absurdly tall, dirty blonde hair that wasn't straight nor curly, eyes ranging in shades of blue. We were a mixed bag of rowdy personalities that attracted shenanigans wherever we went.

"Your daughter wants a slow dance with her dad," I explained. As soon as the words left my mouth, he was grinning down at Madelyn. He scooped her up, cradling her in his arms as her tiny bare feet dangled at his sides. I gave a gentle squeeze to his bicep and said quietly, "She's gonna run the world one day."

He barked out a short laugh and nodded at that. "Oh, I know."

I left the two of them alone then, a smile still pulling at the corners of my mouth from how precious they were.

Duncan was never one to get dressed up for anything since his career of being a firefighter meant living either in a uniform or sweats, he was hardly seen in formal clothing. That attitude wasn't going to work for Sutton, hence his dressing up for the occasion. It was the first time in a while I'd seen him like that, with his stubble groomed, hair freshly cut, and an expensive-looking, tailored charcoal suit. He looked like a new man. A happier, healthier man, at that.

He'd never admit it, but it killed him that with each passing day Madelyn was looking more and more like her mother. The same ebony ringlets, same silvery eyes, same freckles dusted along her turned-up nose. The same skin that looked naturally kissed by the sun; the kind of coloring that people drop big bucks for. I'd never truly known what her mother was like as a person, but I was sure those traits were in Madelyn as well.

She was Duncan's universe, and I could only hope that maybe one day, he could reconcile with his ex for the sake of their daughter.

Since I couldn't find anyone worth talking to after retreating from the dance floor, I slipped down the dim hallway leading to the restrooms and entered the one marked with an exaggerated, curvy silhouette of a woman. I had to shake my head when I saw it.

There were several parties happening all tonight at this venue, but the music from Sutton's dominated the rest. I was sure people miles away could hear it. It was just me and a distant, reverberating bassline in the bathroom.

I stepped into a stall and mentally thanked myself for buying such an easy dress to hike up for bathroom trips. It was a maxi length, but the slit up my entire left leg combined with the soft, silky royal blue fabric made it that much better.

When I came out, I noticed the amber lighting in the room. It was tricky, seeming like one of those things that made you think you looked better than you actually did. Then again, I was a little too drunk to care and overlooked my appearance. Just as I was drying my hands I heard the door swing open, leftover music pouring in momentarily until it shut again.

I blinked when I heard the sound of a lock clicking. I blinked again when I glanced over to see a smirking Gus at the end of the row of sinks.

I laughed. "What are you doing? You can't be in here."

"Nobody told me that," he said innocently, shrugging his shoulders and taking slow, deliberate steps towards where I stood.

I watched in the mirror as he came up behind me, a captivated smile lingering on my face. His hands attached themselves to my hips like his lips did to the nape of my neck, right underneath of my messy bun.

"We've done a lot, but a public bathroom?" I cocked an eyebrow when I saw his eyes meet mine in the reflection. "Now that's a new one."

"I just... can't stop thinking about this morning," he breathed into my skin, "And this afternoon."

Turning in his grasp, I looped my arms around his neck. We were eye-to-eye, my four-inch heels putting me at the same height as Gus because he wouldn't let me wear anything higher if we were going to be seen together. If I dared to be taller than him through the power of high heels, he'd have a mental breakdown.

His bow tie and his eyes were almost the same blue, as was my dress. Somehow his gaze still held the most color.

I sighed, "Me neither, and I hate to turn you down again, but we can't. Not when half of my family is here."

Rather than answering me, he placed kiss after kiss across my jawline, down my throat, to my exposed collarbone from the plunging neckline of my dress.

"Gus," I breathlessly said his name, the sound weak just like my attempt to get him to stop.

A wandering hand traveled up my left leg where the unforgiving slit was in my dress, his fingers warm on the skin of my thigh. There was a feeble knock on the door that neither of us gave a second thought towards. I knew it wasn't right and yet all the rum in my system was making me question why not.

"You sure we can't?" He murmured, nudging aside one of my straps with his nose so it hung off my shoulder.

Fuck this party and fuck this wedding.

I almost threw every last bit of caution and modesty to the wind – not that I had much of the latter anyway – until I heard the DJ's voice from Sutton's party ringing throughout the building. It was muffled, but I instantly knew what it was.

"Shit, is it time for the speeches already?" I wheezed, snatching Gus' hand away from a dangerous area so I could look at his watch, my useless brain taking a second too long to figure out what time it was. "Fuck."

"Speeches? Why are there speeches if this isn't the real wedding?" He asked with a scoff.

"Why do you think? It's Sutton; everything is over-the-top with her," I said, pushing him away so I could readjust my dress and turn around to glimpse at my reflection. "She wants to thank everyone for coming, but the whole wedding party is supposed to stand with her and Koa during it. Plus, you know how my dad is. The man has to give a speech whenever there's a microphone around."

I saw Gus nodding through the mirror, a hand over his mouth as his eyes raked the length of my body from behind. Rolling my own eyes, I grabbed his hand and bolted to the door.

I froze when I realized the situation and how horribly this could go if anyone saw us.

Spinning back to Gus, I sheepishly smiled. "You go first. I'll come out a minute later."

"What?" He nearly choked on the word, blinking in shock as if I asked him to perform surgery. "Are you kidding? You go first! You'll be a better lookout and people will expect you to come out of here."

He was right, unfortunately.

Not thinking too far into this, I flipped the lock and yanked the door back, ready to dash down the hallway until I almost plowed over an elderly woman waiting just on the other side. She was half my size with a look of outright dismay on her wrinkled face. I assumed that was who knocked on the door.

At the same time she recoiled from me, I shoved Gus behind the open door with one hand to hide him. I whipped a smile out of nowhere and looked down at her, pretending to be apologetic. "So sorry about that, I think it was catering. Really messed with my stomach. Didn't want anyone else to have to witness that," I chuckled through an excuse.

As if she could look even more disgusted with me, she shook her head and muttered something under her breath about the "youth of today". She brushed right past me and headed into a stall, totally unbeknownst to Gus concealed behind the door. Before there were any more incidents, I whisked Gus out of the ladies room and we took off down the hallway, my heels clacking against the floor the whole way.

I wasn't kidding when I said we Barclay kids had shenanigans follow us everywhere we went.

We skidded to a halt at the entryway to the room where the party was, keeping a fair distance from the threshold so no one would notice us since the glass doors were propped open. I could hear my dad's voice coming through the speakers, his unmistakable belly laugh causing the room to join him in whatever godawful joke he probably told.

My eyes dissected what I could see from where we stood, which wasn't much, but it was enough to tell me my sister was definitely going to skin me alive. All the guests had vacated the dance floor and were sitting at their designated tables. My dad stood front and center on the platform where the DJ was, rambling into the microphone and holding everyone's attention.

I knew the attention would fall on me as soon as I set foot in the room. The thought alone sobered me up and made me wish Sutton already murdered me.

The happy couple was found at the foot of the two steps it took to get up on the raised platform, arms linked and smiles bright as they gazed up at my dad. Behind them, the bridesmaids and groomsmen were lined up like schoolchildren behind their teacher. Technically, I wasn't the only one missing because three guys in Koa's party weren't in attendance, but I guess living in Hawaii made more sense than being caught up with your boyfriend in the bathroom.

I put a hand on Gus' arm to get his attention, knowing it had to be now or never that I accepted my fate. "Shit. Okay, I'll go in first. I'm going straight up to the stage and when I get there, you come in. Go right to your seat. Let's not make another scene, please. I'd like to get through this night somewhat alive," I whispered the plan to him.

When I saw him nod through my peripheral vision, I sucked in a deep breath and took the plunge.

Thankfully, my dad's long-winded speech covered up the sound my shoes made along the wood as I strode across the deserted dance floor. My shoulders were squared and I couldn't remember how to breathe. It was the longest walk I'd ever done in my life.

I could feel every single pair of eyes watching me, judging me, trying to put the puzzle together. Family members and friends of the soon-to-be Makana couple were no longer interested in whatever cordial nonsense my dad was spewing. I didn't look at anything or anyone until I was standing next to Valerie, right behind my sister.

The rest of the bridesmaids were gawking at me, while the groomsmen (who were my two brothers and a friend of Koa's) didn't give a shit. I acted like nothing was wrong.

Sutton turned her head in the slightest towards her fiancé, giving me a side view of her face that I impassively stared at. Her eyes were low, her voice melodious as she quietly said to me, "Just when I think there aren't any left, you give me yet another reason why I should kill you."

A fraudulent smile crossed my lips at her words. The one upside to this was that neither one of us wanted to attract any attention, which meant swapping threats in the most discreet way. It also meant my life was spared for a little longer until my sister got me alone or the party ended.

Keeping that in mind, I leaned in towards her ear and purred an ultimatum I knew she couldn't argue with. "Go ahead, kill me. See who'll take my spot in your bridal party." She hesitated, too long for me to think she was going to respond so I hummed in satisfaction. "Right. No one."

My dad's speech concluded and he gestured for all of us to come up on the stage with an outstretched hand and a grin. Our sisterly dispute came to an end, for the time being at least, as Koa and Sutton ascended the stairs first and the rest of us followed.

We placed ourselves in a row behind the island lovers, becoming insignificant when Sutton reached for the microphone and expressed her gratitude towards everyone for coming. She was in her element as the center of attention and the room was hanging off of every word that left her lacquered lips.

I scanned the crowd as my sister famously babbled on and I spotted Collin right away. He was sitting with his parents, arms crossed and shaking his head when our eyes met. Without even speaking to him, he knew exactly why I walked in late for the speeches. Perks of having a best friend that was way too observant.

From across the room that was at capacity with more than two-hundred people, I could still see the smirk on his face. I fought back my own urge to laugh, flattening my lips like my life depended on it. At this rate, my life did depend on it.

I saw Gus then, seated beside Collin. His parents didn't end up coming, rightfully so since they just had a death in the family, which meant he was the only Monahan present. While he and his parents were coming to the wedding in Honolulu, it still saddened me that they weren't able to show up to this party. They were like another set of parents to me and without them here, it was obvious that they were missed.

Once everyone started to clap was when I registered what was happening. I participated, reluctantly, and was the first one off the stage as I sprinted to get another Piña Colada. Hiding from Sutton was my main priority; getting a free drink was second.

A hand on my shoulder had me almost losing my grip on the plastic cup, thinking that this was the end. She caught me and she was going to drag me outside to bludgeon me with my own cocktail. Just to make me suffer and not totally end my life since she still needed me to be in her wedding.

I twisted around, prepared to defend myself when I noticed it was a grinning Collin.

"I think that walk of shame across the dance floor was the best thing I've ever seen," he chuckled to himself.

"Shut up," I exhaled, my shoulders dropping in relief as I rolled my eyes.

He laughed again, stepping around me to reach for a cup and get a drink for himself. "You really know how to make an entrance."

"She's gonna kill me," I concluded with a nod. I leaned against the wall next to the drink machine and took a swig from my frozen cocktail. "But hey, maybe that'll put me out of my misery from being in this wedding in the first place."

"I mean, true. It'll cost you your trip to Honolulu, though," he said, and I growled in annoyed agreement. He let go of the nozzle once his cup was full and looked at me, giving me a consoling pat on one of my shoulders. "It's okay. I'll go for you and I'll enjoy every second of it."

"Yeah, right. I'm going to Hawaii whether I'm dead or alive and you can bet on that."

Collin glanced over his shoulder, a blind spot to me, then smugly looked back at me. "Well you might as well just give me your money now because Sutton's on her way over here."

I meant to gasp and instead swallowed my current mouthful of frozen Piña Colada too quickly. With just a wink Collin left me to choke, have a brain freeze, and fend for myself against my sister.

〰️〰️〰️

- wow a wild duncan appears!! FINALLY!!!! he's a lowkey babe. any thoughts on him or this chapter???? leave it gus and bayla to almost ruin the party smh. things are so good rn my dudes... what's gonna happen?!?!?

i can't remember if i asked this before but i forget so if i already did just answer me again lmao: do you guys prefer shorter or longer chapters? like longer chapters with one whole scene in it, or scenes split into two (maybe more) chapters (like how i did the bon voyage party)?? i've always been a fan of longer chapters, but lately i've been more into splitting them up and making a bunch of shorter chapters... let me know i'll take any feedback. since y'all are the ones actually reading it i'd love to hear what you guys want to see! this will deffo help me as i continue to write new chapters for this story so pls lmk.

thanks for reading, as always. i can never thank ya enough. hope you had a great easter/passover/or just regular old sunday. love ya lots!

xoxo, sabbbycat