"In 4th grade, Blake taught me how to play guitar," she started,

That same year, Blake, Justin, and their oldest brother, Jacob, took me with them to warped tour. I got to meet Andy Biersack from Black Veil Brides. Jacob has the pictures, though. Justin bought a guitar from one of the tents for me. It was smaller than a normal size guitar. That night when we left, I told my parents i was staying at my other friend's house, but i stayed at Blake and Justin's house bc their parents were out till morning. We painted the front of the guitar white and we all put paint on our hands and put them all over the front of the guitar. Then, Blake and i decided to do something. We put paint on our hands and he put one hand print of his on the back and i put mine right next to his. We put or names above them and the year. It was 2012 at the time. We did that again every year. We would switch off the guitar between eachother. When he got it he'd keep it for awhile and put his hand print on it. Then i would get it like a month later and do the same. He um.. he didn't get to put one on for 2015.. only i did. Jacob came to pick up the guitar the Friday after Blake died." she told me.

"That's really nice." i told her.

Paris nodded her head. "Tell me one more story?" i asked looking at the time on my phone.

"In 2013, it was my 11th birthday," she began, "Like i said before, Justin and Blake were really talented at singing and playing the guitar. So Justin texted me that day and told me to go down the park. So i did and he had a guitar and Blake was there. Blake was recording me. I asked him what he was doing and Justin started to play the guitar. He was singing the song Best Friend by Jason Chen. Its a song about the guy best friend falling in love with the girl best friend. Justin fell in love with me, but i didn't love him that way. I felt that maybe if i did he wouldn't of killed himself." she finished with her smile decreasing again.

"It wasn't your fault if that's what you're trying to say." I told her.

She shrugged her shoulders. Then as i was about to say something, her mother barged in.

"Tate, its time for you to leave." Vivien told me.

I nodded my head and i reached over to place a kiss on her forehead.

"See you on Tuesday." I winked. She gave me a confused look. I guess she didn't know why I winked.

I walked out of her bedroom and walked downstairs.

Paris' POV:

Why did he wink at me? I was so confused. But, I ignored it. I glanced at my mom and she walked out and shut the door behind her.

I crawled up from the floor, onto my bed. I cuddled my body pillow and stared at the wall. The tip of my nose and my cheeks were a pink color and my eyelids were puffy. My eyeballs themselves were red and irritated from crying. They were still watery.

(TRIGGER WARNING)

I really felt the need to cut. I haven't done it in so long and its becoming so hard for me to cope with my feelings in different ways. I need to go back to my old habits. But, I couldn't. It would crush Tate. What if he would get mad. What if he got so mad that he would just tell me he couldn't handle me anymore.

I threw my pillow at the wall in frustration. I buried my head into my pillow. I decided to sleep my problems away.

3 Days Later

*Monday, 6:30 PM*

These passed few days have been terrible without Tate. All I've been doing is waking up, eating, and going back to bed. That's it. I've never been so depressed in my life.

I decided to keep my promise to Tate. He asked me to promise him that I wouldn't cut myself, and I promised. I never promised him that I wouldn't hurt myself.

For the passed 2 days I have taken my arms and lifted them in the air and threw them onto my dresser, causing them to bruise. I have also taken my mini flash light and turned it on waiting for it to heat up. I took it, and pressed the heat against my skin causing it to burn my skin.

I wore long sleeves for the passed few days. My mother didn't even question why I was wearing them in the middle of spring.

I walked downstairs to get some food. I haven't ate in 4 hours.

"Hey sweetie." my mother said.

"Hey." I said, opening the refrigerator.

I skimmed the fridge for a food I liked, but didn't find any. I close the fridge doors and turn around.

My mother looked at me then handed me an orange. I rolled my eyes but grabbed it out of her hands and walked upstairs.

I lied down and ate the banana. I had nothing to do because I didn't have my electronics and couldn't go anywhere. I eventually fell asleep.

The Next Morning

*alarm goes off*

I immediately jump up with my eyes wide open. I then realize its only my alarm for school. I rolled my eyes and leaned over to dismiss it.

I got out of bed and headed towards my dresser. I couldn't wear any short-sleeved shirts so I went into my drawer with all my winter clothes. I pulled out a grey, oversized, long-sleeved sweater. I slip that on and randomly grab some white and grey plaid leggings.

I sat down in front of my little mirror and brushed my hair. I didn't feel like doing anything with my hair so I threw it up into a messy bun.

I didn't feel like putting on any make up either so I grabbed my phone and walked downstairs. My mother gave me my phone back last night. I heard her come in, it was really late. I pretended that I was sleeping.

I checked my phone as I was walking down the stairs and saw a text from Tate.

It read:

"Hey ill be over at 6:50. I love you <3"

I smiled and looked at the time. It was 6:45.

I walked out by the door and grabbed my shoes. I sat down in a chair at the table and slipped them on. They were my black high-top converse.

I sat there with my head down on the table. I was so tired, I almost fell asleep like that. Then, I suddenly heard a knock on the door that made me jump.

I got up and rubbed my eyes and walked over to open the door.

I opened it up and saw Tate standing there, smiling, with his hands behind his back. I smiled back, but leaned my head towards the left, kind of confused.

"Awee, don't you look sleeeepy." he said laughing.

"Shut up." I playfully said, laughing along with him.

He laughing again. I smiled at his adorable laugh.

Tate pulled his hands out from his behind his back. He was holding a little box with a folded up piece of paper on it.

"Happy 1 month!" he said.