I didn't wake up when I should have. Mom woke up first. I knew when my eyes opened for the first time that morning that I was in trouble.

Mom pushed the side of the crib down and put her hands on her hips. "I know that pacifier didn't roll all the way across the room."

I swallowed and glanced behind her at where it laid on the floor. It was definitely too far away and that was my mistake. I should have known better. But I was mad and I wasn't thinking.

"I don't appreciate your attitude, Lyla." She walked over to the dresser and got out a clean diaper.

I sat up in bed and let my legs hang over the side. I was nervous to how mom was to going to react and what the punishment would be. It was more than just not using the pacifier and I knew mom was aware of that. My punishment wouldn't just be something simple.

"Go lay down so I can change you."

I slid off the bed and walked over to the spot on the floor where mom usually changed me. I didn't want to argue with her or make her any more mad than I already had. I was already nervous about my punishment.

Mom walked over and set a bag of wipes down beside her. She knelt down and unfolded the clean diaper in her hand. "Dad's going to take you to school today."

I sat up on my elbows, watching as she pulled my dirty diaper out from under me. "Why?"

"He has a meeting not far from the school and he wanted to spend a little time with you."

I was sure she was telling the truth but it still worried me. "Are you mad at me?"

She glanced up at me, a wet wipe in her hand. "No, Lyla. I'm not mad. I'm just a little disappointed that you aren't giving this a fair shot."

I tried not to let her know just how frustrated that made me. Wasn't I making enough of an effort? I let her take me to daycare every day and followed the stupid rules they had for me. I wore the diapers and even used them. I did everything they were asking of me and it still wasn't enough.

I fell back on the mat and tried to will away the tears that threatened to spill over. I never thought of myself as a bad child. I never thought I was a disappointment to my parents until we moved and my life went to hell. It was so unfair.

Mom finished getting me ready but stopped me at the door before I could head down the steps. The diaper bag, a backpack, was strapped over my shoulders, making me feel like a kid going to my first day of kindergarten.

"I want you to keep this on all day and use it. I'll be calling your teacher to make sure your doing as your told." She clipped a pacifier to the top of my dress then lifted the pacifier to my lips. My anger was rapidly turning into sadness so I parted my lips and kept my eyes down. I just wanted the day to be over with.

---

Dad stopped the car and walked around to my side to open my door. He helped me to my feet and grabbed the backpack from the spot beside where I typically sat in my car seat. He slid the straps over my arms before taking my hand.

"You'll have to show me where your classroom is."

I pulled the pacifier from my mouth just enough to speak. "It's not that far."

He pulled one of the doors opened and held it for me, letting me go in first. I stepped in just far enough for him to enter, waiting on him before I started walking again. We passed several doors before coming to where my classroom was. The door was propped open and I could see two girls already playing in one of the centers.

I walked inside and kept my eyes down, already knowing that mom would have called and talked to Ms. Diane. I knew she would want to talk about what I did and I just wasn't feeling up to it. I just wanted to blend in with the rest of the kids and get through the day without getting into any more trouble.

Dad put my backpack in the cubby with my name on it then kissed the top of my head. "Mom will pick you up this afternoon. If you need anything, you can call the office."

I nodded, my eyes glued to the floor.

He pulled me into a tight hug and I relaxed into him. I always did love his hugs.

But it was over too soon and he was saying goodbye.

I didn't hear anything Ms. Diane said as she stood in front of me. She put her hand on my arm and a tear slid down my cheek. She wasted no time putting her arms around me and letting me cry all over her purple shirt.

She led me over to the cots and helped me lay down. She covered me in the blanket and tucked it under me so it didn't drag on the floor. "Do you want anything to drink?"

I nodded, my nose full of snot. My eyes were puffy and my throat hurt. I felt probably as pathetic as I looked.

She brushed my hair from my face before she went into the kitchen. I could hear her opening the fridge but I couldn't see her from where I was laying.

I was glad to be away from home for the day but I knew I'd have to go home at some point. I'd have to see mom again and I knew a punishment was waiting for me.

Ms. Diane came back to my side and handed me a sippy cup. My name was written in permanent marker along the side. She pulled the pacifier from my mouth. "Do you want any breakfast?"

I shook my head.

"If you need me, just call for me. I'll be around."

I put the sippy cup to my lips and relaxed into the cot. It wasn't the most comfortable but it was better than sleeping on the floor.

She gave me a soft smile before she walked away and left me to myself.