Dad made the biggest deal of me getting new toys to play with. He offered to open the box with the baby doll inside the second he walked in the door.

The box laid beside him on the couch while he had the baby doll and accessories that were tied to a cardboard piece. I started to untwist one of the ties but dad pulled it back and out of my reach.

"Lyla, let me do it."

I sighed and dropped my hands into my lap. Mom wouldn't even let me pull the tag off the stuffed animal. Simple tasks were being taken from me and I didn't like it.

He untied all of the accessories then moved onto the baby doll. "Make sure you don't lose anything. I don't want a sad little girl."

I rolled my eyes. "It's just a baby doll, dad."

"Have you picked out a name for her? She can't go without a name."

"I don't know. You pick something out for her."

He looked up at me like I was crazy. "She's your baby."

I shook my head and laid it down on the floor. "It doesn't need a name. She's just 'baby'."

He shrugged. "Alright then."

"What?"

"She might be sad that she doesn't have a name."

I rolled my eyes. "She'll get over it."

Mom stuck her head in the room. "Dinner's ready."

Dad set the baby doll on the couch. "I'll finish this after dinner."

"I'm not changing my mind." I said as I followed him into the kitchen.

---

I didn't think I'd feel any differently after getting toys I didn't have much motivation to play with. I expected to just lug one around all the time because it was expected of me. But when I got into bed, I realized that I liked having the doll there with me so I wasn't as alone.

The more I thought about it, the weirder it felt.

Mom tucked the blanket around me like she always did every night. My damp hair clung to the pillow under my head.

"Do you want your stuffed animal to sleep with, too?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, I'm not a baby."

"I just don't want you getting scared while you're in here all alone."

"I've already slept in here a week by myself."

"Are you settling in okay?" She walked away from the crib and went to my dresser. I couldn't see what she was going for.

"This place is weird, mom. I don't think I'll ever completely settle in here."

"Honey, it's not that bad. I've met some nice people at work who love it here."

"Just because they do doesn't mean I will."

She walked back over to me and my heart dropped when I saw the pacifier between her fingers.

"Don't make me use that." I pleaded.

Mom leaned over the side of the crib and held the pacifier out for me. "You're not in trouble, Lyla. I just want you to try using it tonight while you sleep."

I shook my head. "No, I-I don't want to."

"I want you to be comfortable using one."

I pulled the blanket up over my face. "I don't want to."

Mom pulled the side of the crib down so she could reach me better. She pulled the blanket back and brushed the hair from my face. "Lyla, just use it tonight."

"No."

"I don't want to have to punish you for not listening to me, sweetie."

"Then don't make me use it."

She wiped away a tear from my face and pushed the pacifier between my lips. "Quit fighting this, Lyla. This is where we're living. We're not moving again."

My anger was starting to boil over. I didn't want whatever punishment would come for being any madder at her so I just let her put the stupid thing in my mouth. I glared at the floor behind her, hoping she would just leave.

"We want you to like living here, Lyla. It's a nice place." She latched the side of the crib before turning the light off and shutting the door.

Before I rolled onto my other side, I pulled the pacifier out and tossed it across the room. There was no way I was using that thing willingly. Neither she nor dad were going to make me.