I was so hoping the school had a bathroom that I could use. I hadn't gone to the bathroom since earlier the night before and my stomach was starting to get affected by it. I knew if I didn't pee soon, I could potentially get a UTI and I really didn't want that.

The rules were rigid and strict and I was finding that out the hard way. After everything I'd gone through to get ready for the day, mom made me use a car seat in the car. It had buckles rather than just using a seatbelt like normal. Two buckles met across my chest and one at the top of my diaper. It was uncomfortable but at least it was made for someone my size. I would have hated to use one too small for me and be stuck scrunched.

I was just hoping and praying school hadn't changed too much from what I was used to.

It looked normal when we pulled up. There was a small brick building with bushes around and flowers neatly placed by a sign that read Karing Kids. I wasn't sure what that meant but it was the least of my worries.

I followed mom inside the school and to a classroom that had a pastel blue door. Just seeing the pastel made me cringe for what I was about to endure.

She opened the door and made me go in first. The classroom was fairly big, with multiple centers for different types of play. All in all, it was a large daycare and I wanted to turn and run. There was a table in the center of the room with name tags at each spot. Cubbies sat beside us with coats and bags and even some toys. But the worst part was seeing the kids my age or older wearing baby clothes, diapers, and using pacifiers. Mom hadn't forced me to use one but I knew it was coming.

All in all, it seemed there were only five kids including me in the classroom and two teachers to manage us all. I wasn't sure why the numbers were so small and it made me wonder how many kids there were in the area.

A woman with short brown hair and cheetah print glasses walked up to us and extended her hand. "You must be Mrs. Walker."

Mom smiled at her. "Call me Joyce. This is Lyla."

I avoided the woman's gaze but rather stared at my shoes, wishing the day was already over.

"I'm Ms. Diane."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. I wanted the attention off of me, especially being the new girl.

The woman bent down and looked up at me. "Hi, Lyla."

I hated the way she was speaking to me as if I was a baby. It was a bit insulting.

I didn't say anything to her and just hoped she would leave me alone. I could just skate through the day without any extra attention and it would be fine.

She laughed and stood back up. She walked over to an empty cubby. "You can set her things down here. She's a little nervous, huh?"

Mom rubbed my arm and I tried to fight the soothing feeling I got from it. "We've never moved before. It'll take her some time to get adjusted."

"Where did your family move from?"

"Cambria."

She nodded. "I bet once she gets used to things here, she'll like it. We're a small town but it's quite nice."

I held back tears as I opened my mouth to speak for the first time. "I-I want to go home."

Mom put her arm around my shoulders. "Lyla, this is our home now. You're going to have a good day here, okay? Ms. Diane's going to show you around so you're familiar with the classroom."

Ms. Diane knelt down in front of me and took my hands. "We don't have to go sit with the other kids if you aren't comfortable. Do you want to sit at my desk and have breakfast?"

I was hungry and I didn't feel like starving myself in protest. I nodded.

She squeezed my hands. "Give mommy a hug so she can go to work."

I was so mad at mom. So unbelievably angry. But I knew she was never going to put me in harm's way. I had to trust that moving was a good thing, even if it didn't seem that way.

I turned around and hugged her, my tear-stained cheeks drying off on her shirt.

She rubbed my back before kissing the top of my head. "I'll pick you up after work, okay, sweetie?"

I wanted to start crying all over again just hearing that she would be leaving me. I didn't feel like I had anything to worry about in the classroom but I still didn't like being left by myself in strange situations.

Ms. Diane took my hand and led me away from mom so she could leave. She walked me to a desk that sat in the corner of the room by the windows. It didn't have a computer but had several books and a large calendar in the middle of the desktop. I enjoyed the view from the window and hoped I would be able to stay there and enjoy it more.

"Let me go grab your breakfast."

I stopped her before she left because I really, really had to pee. "I-I have to go to the bathroom."

She knelt down in front of me, putting her hands on the sides of the chair. "Have you gone in your diaper yet?"

The thought made me nauseous. I shook my head.

"All you have to do is push. Your diaper will hold it in."

"Please don't make me do this." I spoke softly, my words frantic and nervous.

"I can change you after if that makes you feel better." She offered.

I shook my head. "I don't want to."

"Honey, you need to use your diaper. We don't have a bathroom for you to use."

Constantly being told what I could and couldn't do, which all centered around being a baby, made me feel so helpless and defeated. It was like everyone was out to make my life miserable. I hated it.

She straightened and wiped my cheeks and the fresh tears that covered my skin. "I have candy in my desk. I don't give it out to just anyone. If you go in your diaper, you can have a piece."

Baiting me with candy was so childish. Maybe that was her goal. Maybe it was a rule for her as the teacher to push being a baby on all of us. Maybe she was supposed to get us more and more used to it all until we didn't fight anymore.

My ability to hold my pee in was starting to slip and I could feel small bouts coming out. I knew I couldn't hold it any longer.

But I'd be damned if I went without that piece of candy.

I nodded slowly and sniffed as I released and felt the diaper get warm between my legs.

She rubbed my arm slowly. "That's my girl. Do you feel better now?"

I did but I wasn't going to mention it to her. "Can you change me now?"

She smiled at me and reached into the bottom drawer of her desk. She handed me a small chocolate candy and stood up straighter. "Let's go so we can get you something healthier to eat."